Author's Note: Hey guys. Thanks for reading and special thanks to those who left a comment. It is much appreciated. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter.
If anybody is interested, I've posted the first three chapters of the original I spoke about last time in fictionpress (and will soon be posting the fourth within the next day or two). It is called "Brazen" and is still under my username 'Rachtree' even though it is co-written with my sister. It's not creating much buzz (haha) over there, and I'd love if any of you would go check it out. If not, that's okay. I do still plan to finish this one up. Thank you and happy reading.
...
Peyton hummed a soft tune as she took out the blueberry pie from the freezer. Her favorite, and Sawyer's.
It was the last day she would see her daughter for a while - still a month before the next court appearance - and she wanted it to be perfect.
Against her nature, she had high hopes for the future. In a few weeks, Nathan would tell Haley the truth and then they would be together as a real couple.
Shortly after that, they would go to court and the judge would grant her joint custody of Sawyer, or visitation at the very least. The latter wasn't her intention, but she'd been made aware of the possibility of it happening so she prepared herself for that. That way, if it happened, it wouldn't be another unexpected disappointment. She'd had enough of those lately and vowed to remain optimistic, relying on her lawyer's advice that judges rarely kept a child from either parent and generally only did so if that parent were a danger to the child.
For a while, she'd even entertained the idea of going for sole custody and having Lucas be granted visitation with Sawyer, but her lawyer advised that it wasn't likely to happen. Her lawyer ventured to say that her best guess would be that the judge would grant joint custody since neither parent was a danger and both were equally involved in their daughter's life until recently when he'd banned Peyton from it.
Peyton was okay with that. She really didn't want to deny access to Lucas, as he was doing to her. It's not what was best for Sawyer, and she had to be the reasonable parent right now since Lucas was too hurt and angry, too emotional to consider anything else at this point.
She didn't hate him for it. She was just sad that it had come to this. And she was past blaming herself for his reaction. She understood that anger and hurt were normal reactions from a cheated-on spouse, but it didn't give him the right to put their young daughter in the middle. She was confident that he would realize that in time when the feelings weren't so raw, but she couldn't wait for him to come to that conclusion before she could be a parent to their daughter. Who knew how long that would take?
So she would allow the court to make that decision, confident in her lawyer's advice that the outcome would be favorable for her.
Until then, she had this one last day with Sawyer, so she pushed out any negativity from her mind and carried on with the preparations for the day. She loaded the living room with toys and stuffed animals, wishing she had access to Sawyer's favorites. But those were at home with Lucas so she would have to make do with what she had and hope Sawyer liked them. She had to make sure her daughter didn't forget who her mother was in the month to come.
She decided she would ban Nathan from whichever area of the house she and Sawyer would be in. Not because she didn't want to see him. Her heart still skipped a beat whenever he walked in a room. But she wanted Sawyer all to herself today. Just mother and daughter. Nathan could go in her father's old room and watch a game. She was sure he would take no issue with that.
She would kick him out altogether for the day if not for the risk that he'd be seen without Sawyer and get the questions and backlash for not having his niece with him. She shook her head, admitting to herself that that wasn't exactly the reason she wouldn't ask him to leave. He could go home, and with Haley at work and Jamie at school, nobody would know.
The truth was Peyton liked having him around, even if in another area of the house.
She ran from the kitchen when she heard the light creak of the front door opening. This week he'd gone back to just walking in, as he'd done in their high school years. She silently wondered why it was so quiet and hoped Sawyer wasn't asleep just yet.
Her face dropped when she noticed that he was alone and that was the reason for the quiet. "He didn't need you to watch her today?" she guessed forlornly.
"He didn't want me to," Nathan corrected in a soft tone. "Not today or any other day."
"He knows," she deduced.
He nodded, but clarified. "Just that I've been taking her to see you, not about us."
"How?" Peyton questioned. If Luke knew about their affair, she would guess that Brooke had broken down and told him, but Brooke didn't know about these visits. Nobody did except Nathan and herself. "You told him?" It was the only plausible explanation.
Until Nathan revealed another. "Not me. Sawyer." He went on to explain that story and how Lucas had flipped on him and ordered him out of his house. "I swear I tried to explain that it's best for Sawyer, but he didn't want to hear it," Nathan went on.
Yes, Sawyer had known also. And she was too young to understand that it was all in secret, Peyton thought despondently.
"I'm sorry, Peyton," Nathan said as he took in the toy-decorated living room. Obviously, she'd had a special day planned for Sawyer.
Tears welled in her eyes. It was only one day, but it was a day she thought she had. Instantly gone was her newly acquired positive outlook. It seemed everything worked against her. Every plan foiled. And she was left in broken shards of a heart shattered.
Nathan came up to hold her - a newly developed trait since their high school days. At least new to her.
She leaned into him and cried, thinking how foolish she'd been to think positive. What a waste of time. Everything was still wrong in her life. Except him. He was the only right, even though he was her biggest wrong, the cause of all her troubles.
She pulled back, tears staining her cheeks, and snaked her arms around his neck. She lifted her head to kiss him.
He accepted and returned the gesture, but broke away when she began fiddling with the buttons of his shirt. "What happened to waiting until it's right?" he asked hoarsely, already turned on.
She shook her head. Another foolish notion she'd had. It would never be right. "What's the point?"
He wasn't sure how to take that. She'd been very adamant yesterday about waiting. Right now, he knew, she was being run by emotions, which was often the case with her.
He pulled back a little more, not wanting to take advantage of her emotional state, but she came right back and kissed the torso she's bared. "Don't you want me?" she whispered sensually.
"You know I do," he answered, barely audible. "But..."
"Then take me," she tempted, pulling her own shirt over her head. "I want this. Screw waiting."
"But yesterday..."
"I changed my mind," she told him before taking his lips again and running her hands over his chest.
She pulled off her bra next and pressed herself against him. If he hesitated before, he was fully on board now. He was done for. He wasn't the one who'd wanted to wait anyway.
She had to smile a little at how easy it was to get to him, how little effort it took on her part. Him wanting her was something she could always count on and never be disappointed. It was exactly what she needed right now.
He kissed her hard while she continued with freeing him of his shirt. His own hands came behind her to pull her flush against him, both groaning at the sensation it evoked.
Before long they each shed their jeans and unders and she was pinned to the wall, Nathan holding one of her long legs up as he plunged his full length into her.
She moaned loudly and joined him in a steady, rhythmic motion, knowing she couldn't have prolonged this much longer anyway. She heard him grunt in pleasure and he squeezed her thigh harder, pushing deep within her soft centre. In turn, her nails raked over his muscular back to the flexed muscles of his buttocks.
No, this wasn't avoidable. It's what they did best. What they both craved.
And so they indulged, neither aware of the camera that flashed from outside through the open curtained window.
...
The guilt struck all over again when he went home and Haley began a chirpy conversation about her ideas for Jamie's birthday party. He knew he should feel regret for what happened with Peyton, but he didn't, and that just added to his shame.
He didn't want to hurt Haley. He'd never wanted that. He hadn't lied to say she'd been his savior in high school and for many years following that. He was still the guy who had never deserved her and even less so now.
He was the husband who longed for someone else while she continued to be the loving and supportive wife she'd always been. There was no longer any doubt that he had to tell her. He'd promised Peyton he would, and he wanted to for so many reasons, most of which had to do with his continuous appetite for the seductive blonde he'd spent the whole day locking limbs with.
Peyton had again reminded him that he shouldn't say anything until after Jamie's birthday, and he had again reluctantly agreed. It's not that he was in a rush to tear his family apart, but his wife deserved to know that her loving husband was actually loving somebody else. And now that he'd set his own mind to tell her, not with someone else forcing his hand, he would rather just get it done so he and Peyton could get on with their life together. He only wished that Haley would take it well, but he wasn't fool enough to think she would. And he knew Peyton was right. The news would ruin Jamie's birthday. He hoped once all was said and done, they could all move past it and be happy.
He made a point to ensure that Jamie would always know that their parents' breakup wasn't about him. That Dad still loved him no matter what happened with Mom. That was the most important thing.
He suddenly wondered why Haley was so happy instead of confronting him about bringing Sawyer to see Peyton. Surely, Lucas would have told her? They told each other everything. And yet, she didn't bring it up.
He listened to the plans she made about the birthday party, agreeing with them - they always went big for their son's birthday - but not offering any input. When she mentioned it, he simply waved it off and truthfully told her that it sounded like she had it covered and it all sounded great. There was nothing more he could add.
That seemed to please her and she went on about how Jamie would love it. Nathan had to agree with that too. Their son would love it. He himself both looked forward to it and dreaded it at the same time. Looked forward to it because he always liked to see their son smiling and having fun, and dreaded it for the certain few people that he knew would be in attendance, namely Brooke and Clay. Facing the only two who knew his and Peyton's secret and kept it for him was not an easy thing. But he would get through it for his son.
When Haley casually informed him that he would see Clay sooner that, that in fact, he would see him that very evening because she'd invited him for dinner, Nathan groaned in complaint. "Hales," he began to protest.
"Don't Hales me," she returned softly but sharply. "Whatever's going on with you two is not going to resolve itself. You can't keep avoiding each other. Clay is a part of our life. What exactly did happen anyway?"
Nathan shrugged. "Difference of opinion between agent and client," he replied simply. "You know how it is."
"Ahh, yes, I do," she acknowledged. "Which makes this dinner even more important if you're on the outs because of work. Nathan, Clay is your best friend first, and your agent second."
"He's not my agent anymore," Nathan pointed out.
"So, it's all or nothing?" she questioned. "No. He's still your best friend, and I'm not going to let you throw that away over a work argument."
"Hales..."
"It's happening, Nathan," she said forcefully before placing a sweet peck to his lips. "You'll thank me for it later. And now I'm off to the market to get a few things I forgot for the dinner."
And with that, she was gone, leaving Nathan to stew. But he couldn't complain. At least not to his wife. How could he when she thought she was doing a great thing?
...
Peyton hung up the phone with Nathan, not envying his position tonight, though most times these days, she had, simply for the fact that he could carry on with his loved ones as usual while she herself had been ostracized for doing the same thing. And the only difference being that she'd told her secret - at least partially - and he'd kept his.
But she wasn't angry at him anymore, mainly because he'd now made the decision on his own that he loved her enough to tell his wife about them. For so long, she'd doubted that she meant as much to him as he did to her. She understood now and believed whole heartedly that his hesitance wasn't about her at all. He'd just felt stuck, torn between doing what felt right and what was actually right. She couldn't blame him for that. It would seem to him that all the years of struggling to be a good man and failing, tearing apart his family for a several-months' affair would be his biggest failure yet. And only someone, like Peyton herself, who'd also crossed that line, could begin to understand.
Tonight he would have to face Clay over dinner and try to act normal because he'd listened to her and agreed to hold off telling Haley until after Jamie's birthday. She would not want to be in his shoes tonight no matter how bad her own fit.
It was then that the doorbell went off and she went to answer it, shocked to see who stood on the other side. "Haley," Peyton mumbled awkwardly to the smiling woman. "What are you doing here?"
"I've come to tell you to put yourself together because you're coming over for dinner."
Peyton stood in stunned silence before shaking her head to protest.
But Haley wouldn't have that. "I'm not taking no for an answer," the brunette said. "Chop chop."
...
Nathan's head wasn't in the video game he was playing with Jamie, and Jamie noticed by the simple fact that he'd beat his dad easily every game. He was old enough and smart enough to know that he wasn't just that good. And he also knew that his dad's competitive nature didn't allow him to just 'let the kid win', as some parents would do. And his mom insisted that that was good for Jamie, as he had to learn how to win and lose, unlike his father who hated losing to anyone.
Jamie asked his dad what was wrong but was told it was nothing he needed to worry about so he let it go. But it wasn't fun winning only because his opponent was distracted, and he'd told his dad as much.
"Next one's mine," Nathan said firmly, and forced himself to forget the dinner with Clay and all the tension it was sure to cause, and focus on the game at hand. It wasn't so difficult. His mind was trained to block out all outside sources and focus on the win from basketball, and it was an easily transferrable skill. He took the next three wins in a row easily and guilt free. And it seemed Jamie was actually happy to lose those three.
He was about to crush his son for the fourth in a row when his wife returned, followed behind by none other than Peyton, increasing his anxiety ten-fold.
He froze, dropping the controller from his suddenly shaky hands. He quickly caught his bearings when it fell on his lap and picked it up immediately. Needless to say, Jamie won that one.
Nathan noted that Peyton looked as uncomfortable as he did, whereas Haley beamed, seemingly proud of herself. He eyed his wife questioningly, as Jamie ran to greet the unexpected guest with an enthusiastic hug, commenting that he hadn't seen her in a long time.
Meanwhile, Haley went to Nathan and graced him with a tender kiss. "It was time to let bygones be bygones," she explained, addressing Nathan, but clearly speaking to Peyton too. "She's my friend too and one mistake shouldn't change that. I'm sorry that it has."
Still hugging Jamie, Peyton's eyes locked with Nathan's, both understanding that Lucas had, indeed, told Haley what he'd discovered and that she wasn't angry about it, but rather, saw it as her cue to step up.
The subtle look Peyton gave him told Nathan that they both had to suck it up for this dinner. Because it wasn't the right time yet to say that Peyton's one mistake was actually their mistake repeated multiple times.
He nodded slightly in agreement and only then did she pull back from Jamie with a pasted smile on her face. "Wow, look at you!" she greeted with great gusto. "You've gotten so big. Soon you'll be as tall as your dad," she said, taking that opportunity to steal another uneasy glance at her host, her 'friend' and the husband she too was in love with.
Damn, this would be hard.