Hello :) Here it is, another one of my favourite chapters so far. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it and please leave a review afterwards :)

Let me know if there are some spelling or grammar mistakes.

I own nothing but my OC and plot.

VIII

It had to be done. It had to be done. It had to be...

Loki kept repeating the same sentence over and over again, but it was pointless. Milla was right with that short Shakespeare quote - no matter how hard he tried, it was impossible to actually fool his own head. He had to, but he did not want to go. Not after he looked at her sleeping and looking so innocent, vulnerable and all he craved to do was stay and take care of her.

He became pathetic. Weak. Just like his brother, making the same mistake and falling for a woman. But he did not want this, he did not want any of it.

And yet he couldn't stop thinking about her.

A loud noise of broken glass took him back to reality. He spent his nights outside Milla's house in an inn hours and hours from the city. Nobody asked who he was, they were glad for money and he for the privacy. For hours, he had been studying the papers he took from Milla, drinking bitter beer and eating some badly prepared meat. He hoped reading would clear his mind and make focus on the on-coming plan. But it only made him feel guilty about stealing writings that looked hundreds years old. Loki lacked a some features, but a respect and love for books and knowledge was never one of them. Honestly, he never got another choice - he was not as strong as his brother, nor as fast, and if he wanted to be recognized as a warrior, he had to use another weapons. He read, became master in tactics, his mother taught him magic useful in the battlefield or everyday life. But that was obviously not enough for the Allfather. He knew that now.

However he tried to erase every memory of his life from Asgard, he couldn't either. He imagined Milla standing on the balcony in his chambers in asgardian clothes. Blue would fit her the most. She would look at the most beautiful view of the realm and smile gently without realising. She would shine in the dining room, sitting right beside him as a true queen and talking to his mother. Frigga would love her, he was sure. They would spend hours, maybe days in the grand library and afterwards, they would argue if she could go out without guards. She would made fun of him in the helmet while sitting on the throne. And he had this awful feeling that she and Thor would be good friends. He had a gentle heart despite of his figure and language. But on the other side, Milla and lady Sif would not get along, at least not from beginning for Sif would see only a spoiled lady from another realm. But maybe later, if Milla told her about the wars she fought, they would understand each other. The warriors three would admire her instantly, for her beauty, taste and courage. She would charm everyone just like she charmed him.

If only it wasn't so far away and complicated.

He looked up to see what caused the noise. Two maids were trying to clean up the broken glass while other three men, obviously drunk, were standing and threatening with a fight. Other people yelled to calm down until a man, larger than any of them came and took two of them by their collars and threw outside. A laughter filled the bar room and Loki smirked. It reminded him drunken parties back home, when, especially after battles, would warriors drink till they were blind and then fight with whoever came to their way. He was always only observing, not understanding the childish need to show the strength when there was nothing at stake.

"I know you," a voice caught his attention. A middle-aged man sat in front of him without an invitation, drinking a beer while eyeing the papers on the table. Although he looked older, for the silver in his otherwise black hair and a beard framing his face. Muscles were visible through the leather and parts of iron armour. There was something wrong, malicious about the man but Loki could not point his finger on it.

He slowly lowered his reading and looked at the man. "I'm afraid I haven't had the pleasure yet."

The man laughed. "A city man, a city language." He waved at the barmaid and asked for two more beers. Loki straightened his back, giving him a suspicious look. Neither of them was wasn't saying anything until the drink came and the man drank half of it at once. "You are a guard of the noble lady Milla, aren't you?"

"Who are you?" a simple mantion of her name made Loki a lot more defensive. He never saw the man before. What could this stranger possibly want from her?

"My name is Aaron. A Guardian of the realm," he explained, the annoying grin never leaving his face. "And it is pleasure to speak to you. I heard you left the town a couple of days ago." Despite of his tough exterior, the words were chosen carefully, never raising his voice as many other men around. It made sense now - the Guardians of the realm were an order old as time. Most of the men were of noble blood, replacing comfort for a hard work, defending the peace in streets and the country.

"I did," Loki nodded. Milla mentioned the Guardians only twice, but he never met one. The first time he heard the name was the day after his arrival. He overheard the conversation between her and one of clients in the living room, and she promised the man to arrange the meeting with the order. The other time she explained him the meaning of them. She said they have eyes and ears everywhere and there is only a little they never find out. She also said there are a few who still enjoy her company and tell her about the important happenings from time to time, or when she asks. He didn't care back then. He wished he did care.

"Have you lost your words? Go on, ask," the man, Aaron leaned against the wall and waited. Loki frowned.

"Is she all right?" a bit of concern was in his voice. Honestly, this was the only thing that mattered to him for the last few days. And this was the first opportunity to find it out. A quiet voice in the back of his head was warning him that something happened to her, if a Guardian mentioned her name. Loki did not want to believe it.

"Not the question I expected," the man winked in confusion. "but yes, she was well the last time I spoke to her."

Loki wanted to ask when that was, but he closed his mouth the moment he took another breath. It was unwise, even the previous question was a foolish one. It made him weak, vulnerable again. "What did you expect then?"

"Something like how could you possibly know me, or where did I meet you, or maybe what do I want from you? Those are the most common ones."

"How did you know who I am?" he chose the basic one.

"I have eyes in the town boy," he said and took another sip of the beer. Loki still hasn't touched his one. "I saw you walking around with our common friend the day you paralysed those two drunken men before either of them could scream for help," it sounded like a compliment. Loki was still waiting for more. "I have never seen such fast reflexes and neat technique in combat."

Loki nodded again. "I see," he said. He remembered the day, it was the first time he had to be the real guard for her. Both boys were on the ground in seconds, unable to feel their body. It was nothing special, just a classic defence he learned as a child. She kept asking him to teach her the moves, but he never did. He should have. "And what do you want from me?"

"To offer you a place in our order," he said, grin gone. Aaron leaned forward, letting the importance show on his face. Loki smiled, and then laughed shortly.

"That is kind of you, but I have no intention to stay here," he answered, subconsciously looking at the papers in front of him.

"Yes, that may be true. But I don't think you are leaving any time soon," the Guardian raised thick black eyebrows.

"No, you are right," Loki's smile vanished and he narrowed his eyes. How could he know? Did he know what the old writing on the table means? Or did he know who he really was? No, that was highly unlikely. But he was right, there were few more weeks before he can use the spell and leave this place, go back home and deal with his problems there. Maybe he just guessed. Either way, it was suspicious.

"So what about being a Guardian until you have to leave?" he asked.

"And why do you think I want to be a Guardian?" Loki was careful with the answer. He could easily say no, but he was curious about the intentions of the man. Why did he want him to join when he knew Loki would leave in a short while? There was something behind it. A reason, why him, why now.

"There are a few reasons," his grin was back on his face as he was getting up. "One, you have nothing to do and I doubt a man like you like to be bored," he threw a few coins on the table before looking directly into his eyes. "And two, Guardians look after people without being seen. Think about it. I'll see you tomorrow."

"And how would I know it's him?"

"He will be reading something, probably. And sitting in the corner."

Milla told Aaron how to get his attention and what to say to make him think about the offer. She hoped that Loki cares about her at least half as much as she cares about him and he will take the job. To know he is watching her from time to time, that he is safe and maybe somewhere close, it would make her heart calmer. At least she wished it would. But it won't ease the pain anyway.

"And when he says yes, you should know he has problems with authority."

Aaron smirked. "Don't worry Milla. I'll handle it."

The man walked himself out and Milla sighed, closing her eyes. She had a job to do but God, she didn't want to go. Her head hurt constantly from the lack of rest but she basically never let herself permission to relax and do nothing. That would involve thinking about the current events and she was gladly avoiding those. And the nightmares returned leaving her more exhausted in the morning than when she went to bed.

The house was too quiet. Too big. People were walking around her on tiptoes, carefully choosing their words like she could explode or break down any minute. Milla understood their concern, it was true that the never ending smile was gone and she was frowning most of the day, talking in a different, more distant voice. And she couldn't help it. But she also knew, that if she won't be like this, no matter how good actress she is, there would come a time when she would just forget her pride and purpose and drown in self-pity and forget the world.

She felt like this before but she had never allowed herself to actually do it. She always found something to focus on, something that kept her going. Some work.

"If you won't be careful, you could pass out one day."

Milla got up with a groan, picking up the cold coffee. The caffeine was helping only a little. She glanced at Emma, her new shadow. Ever since she found her crying on the terrace, Emma was somewhere close, watching her and making sure she won't flip out again. When Milla went out, working or for simple shopping, she sent Johnatan. It was making Milla nervous but she kept her mouth shut. She hoped that maybe if she showed her that everything is completely fine, she would stop it. But that required time and patience, and she had very little of the latter.

"I am always careful," she replied with a short faked smile. It started raining. "And now, there was a suicide attempt and they called me instead of therapist."

"Milla."

"I hope this girl didn't do it because some boy kissed another. That would be unfortunate."

"Milla."

"What?" she snapped at her, lips in a thin line. She wrapped her fingers around the cup more tightly to remember herself not to scream. But her head hurt so much. "What is it?"

"You shouldn't have done that," Emma was looking straight in her eyes, arms crossed at her chest, frowning.

"And you shouldn't have eavesdropped. It's rude," she walked past her friend, looking for an umbrella. She had to close her eyes to calm down when Emma couldn't see her.

"Either way, it wasn't wise. It was his choice to leave and you shouldn't protect him anymore."

"Emma and it is my choice to make sure he is safe."

"It will only hurt you more."

"So be it," she muttered, not looking at the girl.

"We should talk about this, you know."

"No," she said sharply, slowly turning around to see her face. Emma was trying to protect her but this, saying out loud what she hoped to forget in some time, it made the pain even more real. "Don't ever," she walked a few steps closed to her. "ever tell me to talk about him again."

Somewhere in the city, there was a girl, laying in the bed, eyes wide open but rejecting the world. She looked just like Milla felt. Shattered into pieces. But there was one important difference between them. Milla never gives up.

But this time, she was just too damn close to the edge.

Loki was half asleep when a gut wrenching scream made him jump. He was looking around the room in defensive position, still disoriented from the dream. He was walking the long castle halls in Asgard just second ago, looking for something yet he had no idea what it was. He only knew it was important and if he stopped, he would fail.

Another scream, but this time he could recognize where it came from. But something else caught his attention. There was a black thick smoke outside the window, visible even in the dark. He stood there paralysed for half a second before realising that the building was on fire and the scream was not really a scream but a warning.

In a blink of an eye, he got all his stuff safely in a bag on his shoulder and was looking for a way out. When he opened the door, flames were only inches from his doorstep. For an instant, Loki forgot he has magic inside him. He lived months without truly using it because of his cover identity, and somehow he got used to living without its help. He almost heard Milla whispering "Don't you dare, my prince," somewhere behind him. He turned around, but there was no one, except for a reflection of bright orange in the window. The heat wave hit him hard, leaving his throat dry and limbs weaker. He wiped the sweat of his forehead and took a step back. He was a frost giant, he reminded himself. Fire has always been an enemy.

With one easy movement of his hand a window glass broke. The God jumped out from the third floor and landed without any difficulty. He looked around and thankfully, nobody was paying attention to him. There was turmoil, people were running away to the woods and there was battle shouting somewhere. Nobody cared about the fire anymore. His instincts automatically took him to the little battlefield. About three dozen men were attacking each other, pure chaos everywhere. But one face he did recognized. A man in black, stabbing another fat man with his sort as it was nothing. For a moment their eyes met and Aaron smiled, blood in his mouth.

And then, Loki sensed somebody behind him. A blade appeared in his free hand and with one swift turn, it cut in flesh leaving the face of the man in a deep shock. Then came another one, faster than the previous. He swung with his axe, hitting only an air with while an illusion of Loki was vanishing. The real one stood behind him and whistled to get his attention. The man froze and it made Loki do what he saw Milla do a few weeks back - he broke his neck. And then he stabbed another man's heart. And then he took another life. And two more.

He turned around to face another foe but no one was around this time. Only a few man stood up and neither of them looked like he wanted to attack. The inn was still burning but otherwise, there was complete silence. With the blade still in his hand, he walked over fresh corpses to a poor looking group at the other side of the combat zone.

"You did good there, friend," one of them said, cleaning the blood of his sword. Loki thanked him with an angry gaze.

"What the hell was this?" he demanded an explanation from Aaron, pointing at the dead men behind him . The Guardian was in the middle of a conversation with a young boy, who was shaking as a leaf in the wind.

"You, my friend, just helped to kill some assassins," he spoke almost amused. Loki raised eyebrows.

"Assassins? Who would they want to kill here?"

"Me," the boy spoke, voice trembling.

"You? Why would they want to kill a boy?"

"Watch out you tongue," one of the biggest men he had ever seen stepped closer and raised his sword to Loki's neck. "You are talking to the prince of Vanaheim, the heir of the realm."

Oh. A cousin.

"Leave him, Joff," the prince commanded. The colour was getting back to his chubby cheeks. He was still in shock. Loki almost felt pity for a young prince, obviously not used to battles. He never asked Milla about the royal family and his mother used to tell them stories about the bravery and courage her family had in battles. But this young man before him shoved nothing of it. What a shame.

"Enjoyed the fight, Felix?" Aaron joined the conversation, clearly ignoring the prince. Apparently no one minded.

"Is it just me, or it was an extremely fortunate coincident to have a few Guardians in the building?" Loki said with a suspicion again. Aaron smirked.

"We knew out future king will be here. The five of us volunteered," he nodded towards two other people a few steps from them who were cleaning the wounds of the other two. "But there was no sign of the assassination attempt."

"I still don't know how I am still alive," the prince said. "Thank you, all of you."

"You know it is unwise for a prince to not be able to defend himself," Loki said, trying his best not to sound too impolite and arrogant.

"I do now," the boy nodded, trying his best to look sharp. Loki fought the urge to roll his eyes. "How many men are dead?" he asked his personal guard.

"We were outnumbered two to one. And you killed how many? Three?"

"Six. But it doesn't matter. Why did they want to kill that...well, prince?"

Aaron laughed like he forget that half of the men fighting with him were dead right now. "You are better than I expected. And for one, he is a prince. And then, there are rumours."

"What rumours?"

"First of all, have you thought about my offer?" he looked him in the eyes, smiling.

A girl came to him to nurse his little wounds but he waved her away, it was nothing a little spell couldn't do. He considered the offer. And decided to fuck it right before he went to sleep. But then, he remembered what Aaron said. Guardians look after people without being seen. He could actually be around that woman without being seen and maybe, just maybe that will make him calmer. Ans Loki never seek battles but this, all feelings of anxiety and insecurity vanished and he felt free.

"I did."

"And?"

"I accept."

"Good, I thought you will." He nodded, looking at the boy walking around the dead bodies. He looked more and more hurt by every man he recognized. "The rumours say, there is a group of people who have a list of the most powerful people in the realm. The royal family is on it's top. Then there are families rich enough to be able to borrow money to the crown. And people with the biggest power, to make others do what they want with one simple word and smile. Does it ring a bell?"

Loki's smirk faded and a frown set on his face. "Milla?"

"Yes. It is said they are trying to make it look like accidents or natural death or even death in the battle."

"They tried to poison her before." Loki muttered.

"I know. And they attacked her a few days before when she was on some journey. And broke to her house fortnight before."

That honestly shocked him. The bruise on her cheek after returning from Sarah's, he realised. And being up all night when he came to her house. It all made sense now. She knew people were trying to kill her and yet she never mentioned it until the poison occurred. He ran fingers through his hair, cursing her secrets.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Revolution maybe?" he spit on the ground. "But the thing is to find and kill those sons of bitches before they kill her and the rest."

"Why to you care about her?" he asked, puzzled. So much information and so little time. How could he possibly leave now when she needed him? When she was in such a great danger?

"Past," Aaron smirked again, the annoying habit Loki have to get used to. "She was mine to marry once."

"Well this night gets better and better every second," Loki growled.

After the fire was under control, all survivors took what was left of their belongings and headed to the nearest lived-in area, not far from there. The Guardians were surrounded around the young prince, observing the forest around, waiting for another attack. Fools, Loki thought. There will be no more fighting tonight, maybe not for a few days. Whoever was plotting something this big will be careful maybe frightened to strike in a short amount of time. But he was stupid enough to sent a bunch of men with almost no armour and not enough battle skills. No surprise they won. It didn't make sense. Loki tried his best, but he could not think of the next move or the reason why.

Thankfully, nobody seek his presence and he was left to ride behind everyone else. The horse he got was obviously tired and ill treated in the past and that raised his level of annoyance again. This day took more unexpected turns since the day he discovered his true origin. It was welcomed to have a few moments just for his mind to recover.

There was this trick he used since he could remember to relax before falling asleep. It was rather childish but useful. Some children hug a toy, some are humming a song and some create their own happy place in their little heads. But he had his own ways. Loki thought of his thoughts as a dark, black liquid reaching everywhere and leaving no place dry. He found a way to pour the liquid into a safe transparent squares and organised them according the content. He created a storage space in his mind when there was too much of everything. And then slowly, in time and one after another, he took the boxes and examined every one of them carefully.

He focused on only one box for the rest of the night. The piano melody.

Somewhere else, miles away, Milla was looking from her room window at the smoke in the distance and praying she wasn't responsible for their death.