Little by little I continue to write… Every now and then I open up this file and type... Will I finish this? It seems to be a pipe dream, but still I go on.
Day 8: The hardest day of training EVER: Wii Fit
I slept quite well that night. A lot better than the other days I had been here; it most likely had to do with the various drugs that were pumped into me during the previous day. If I didn't know better that I was only asleep for a day, I could have sworn that I had slept for a year. I woke up extra early, 6:15 AM.
My chest hurt, it felt like I had been stabbed there.
Wait...
Everything was coming back to me. I looked around the room, this certainly wasn't mine.
Crap...
Everything was white and sterile.
Every small move I made sent my chest into a searing pain. I could only guess that all of the drugs had worn off. "It hurts..." I moaned. Slowly I got up. I exited the room, every single step was punctuated with a brief "ow."
I made my way though the hallways. Perhaps, I eventually got used to the pain, as it seemed to die down. I looked around, hoping to find Dr. Mario's office.
It's only six something in the morning, he won't be there. Go back to the bed and relax until he comes to get you...
It seemed like a good idea, there was just one small problem. I forgot where the bed was. I was so distracted by the pain that I didn't pay attention to where I was going. In fact, I didn't even know where Dr. Mario's office was. My foot suddenly hit something cold and metal. I knocked whatever I hit down the hallway. Two things occurred to me, the first, was that I just realized that I was walking barefoot in a hospital. The second, whatever I hit really freakin' hurt!
I tried to hold back screams of pain, and was mostly successful. What came out was just muffled cries. I began to hit my hand against the wall, hoping that I would transfer some of my pain to it. I sat down, and leaned against the wall, and quickly tried to figure out what I hit. Off in the distance I could see a strange light flickering around. It seemed like a firefly. Cautiously I approached.
"Chibi-Robo!" A voice cried out. "Are you okay, Chibi-Robo?"
"Telly Vision?" I questioned.
The flying television turned towards me. "You again!" He said rather outraged. "Look at what you did to Chibi-Robo!"
I glanced down and saw Chibi-Robo wrapped in bandages, a sling and a cast.
Where did he get those? Well, I guess we are in the hospital wing... but still I only hit him a few minutes ago...
"I'm sorry," I apologized. "You see, I don't know where I'm going and it doesn't help that it's so dark. Can you lead me out of the hospital wing?"
Out of Chibi-Robo's head popped a sign with a circle on it. I stared at Chibi-Robo puzzled as it began to walk away. Slowly, I followed. This time making sure that I didn't kick him across the hallway again. I'm sure next time, a simple apology wouldn't work. Telly Vision just sat on my shoulder, the light it emitted only lit up a bit of the hospital wing, but enough to cast shadows. I didn't like it, the shadows constantly felt like they were hiding something, or were constantly trying to grab me.
Hey, grow up! What is this juvenile fear of the dark for, nothing won't suddenly jump out of the shadows and attack us!
Suddenly, something pounced from the shadows and tackled Chibi-Robo down to the ground.
Note to self: Next time, don't think. Just keep walking.
Telly Vision just began to frantically fly around Chibi-Robo's attacker. A black cat. "Chocolate!" I said, picking him up. Chocolate however held Chibi-Robo's cable in his mouth.
"Chibi-Robo! Chibi-Robo!" Telly Vision shouted out. "Tell that beast to release Chibi-Robo!"
"Okay Chocolate, you can let go of him now." I said. Surprisingly, Chocolate dropped Chibi-Robo. The next second he jumped out of my hands and ran off into the hospital wing. Quickly I grabbed Chibi-Robo, before Chocolate decided to attack again. "I'm sorry about that. How about this time I carry you, and you lead me out of here." Once again the sign with a circle on it popped out of Chibi-Robo's head. I began to walk through the hallways, following Telly Vision and Chibi-Robo's directions. Eventually, we saw a light on in the dark hallways. With out thinking I began to run towards the room with the light.
I entered the room uninvited and looked around. There was no mistaking it, this place was Dr. Mario's office. "Ahem." someone coughed. I looked down at a desk, sitting there was Dr. Mario. He had a stern look. "Please refrain from suddenly running into my room, I nearly needed to see a doctor."
"I'm sorry," I quickly apologized, boy I sure seem to be doing a lot of that today. "But, I just got lost and was excited to see the light. Can I be dismissed from the hospital wing now?"
"All right..." Dr. Mario said. "I've all ready billed your account. You are now free to go."
I remembered the small fortune that I had obtained on gambling. I figured everyone wanted a piece of that money.
"Isn't there such a thing as free health care?" I asked.
"Not here." Dr. Mario replied. "I have to be able to make a living."
"How much is the bill?" I asked.
Dr. Mario looked up from his desk giving me a 'you really don't want to know look.' He then handed me the bill
$10 000? WHAT THE HELL?
He seemed to notice my reaction. "The cost of all of the medicinal drugs I had to use on you, the stitches, bed occupancy, sterilizing where your cat relived itself. They all add up!"
"Not to that much!" I shouted back.
Dr. Mario just shrugged it off. "Well you are going to die soon anyways. I guess I could hold off and just forge your will... 'To Dr. Mario who so valiantly tried to save my life, I give all my money to use as he sees fit.' That sounds good doesn't it?"
I looked at him in shock that he would actually do that. Something so dirty, underhanded and outright illegal!
"Anyways, here is your clothing. Mewtwo brought it down for you to change out of the hospital's gowns." Dr. Mario said as he passed me a box. "You can change in the washroom over there."
I entered into the washroom, and closed the door. Quickly I got out of the hospital's clothing. I froze for a moment to look at my chest in a mirror. Where I thought there would be a gaping hole, or a scar, there was nothing. No trace that I had been stabbed. I looked at my arm. Where Lucario had bit me, there were no marks.
What the hell?! This is unnatural!
I quickly changed into my clothing, and placed the hospital's garments into the box. I walked out of the washroom. "Where do you want the dirty clothing?" I asked.
"Put it in one of the linen bags. Let the wire frames take care of the rest." He replied.
I obeyed. With that I left the hospital wing. With it being so early in the morning I thought that the building would be lifeless. But it wasn't everyone else seemed to be up rushing around the HQ, doing various things. Each of them seemed to shoot a smile at me and occasionally one would stop to talk and say congratulations on a swift recovery. It wasn't long until I saw the all too familiar site of Chocolate chasing around Pichu.
He got out of the hospital wing himself. Good...
He pounced towards Pichu who could only let of an electric shock. Chocolate effortlessly dodged the electricity, most likely by now he had gotten used to Pichu firing the attack. Pichu quickly ran towards me and I stood there waiting grabbing the mouse and putting him on my shoulder.
"Thank you..." Pichu gasped for air.
Chocolate sat down in front of me. Eyeing my shoulder. His tail was swaying back and forth. Slowly it looked like he was about to pounce. He let out a meow. Hardly anything ferocious but enough to warn Pichu.
"Hello." A rather shy voice said. I turned around, standing behind me was a ten year old boy. "Is that Pichu yours?" he asked.
"No." I replied. I tried to remember if I had seen him before. "Are you new here?"
"Yes." He said. "I'm Red... What's your name?"
"I don't know. I lost my memory." I replied.
"So you were the person who fell out of the window yesterday!" Red said. "Did it hurt?"
"I was unconscious." I replied uneasy. "Lucario saved me... Although we were fighting..."
It suddenly seemed like that shyness was gone. Now he was rather energetic. I was suddenly reminded of why I had stopped. Chocolate began to scratch my legs. Even though he was declawed it still took me by surprise.
"People and Pokemon shouldn't fight." Red said. "They should live in harmony. But in this age that is more of a pipedream then anything else. Peace and harmony, they don't exist in this world and most likely never will."
I wanted to speak up. I wanted to ask what would make him say something like that. But then I feared that he would hate me if he knew where I came from. Instead I just smiled and nodded and I hated myself for that.
Chocolate let out another meow, and he began to circle around me, looking up waiting to see when I would let Pichu off my shoulder. Red reached for Pichu and just scratched him on the head. "So where are you going?" Red asked.
"I'm going to the cafeteria to get breakfast." I replied. "I don't really have any plans for today..."
"Oh yes you do." Mewtwo telepathically intervened.
Stay out of this! It's my life I should be able to do what I want with it!
"Your fight with Marth is two days away! After that you can do whatever you please..."
All the more reason to relax and regain my aura!
"Well since you don't have any plans why don't we hang out?" Red asked.
It felt awkward, he was ten years old and I was sure I was almost twice that age. I guess he needed a positive role model or something. "Sure, I guess." But each of these people had lives. Lives that I wanted to know about. Lives that I wanted to see. Maybe something that they said or did would boost my memory. Maybe…
But Mewtwo had other plans. He teleported in front of us and gave a menacing glare to Red. "Back off." He ordered.
Red stepped back afraid.
"Mewtwo, come on." I pleaded.
"No," he coldly replied.
"But Mewtwo."
"No buts!" He snapped. "Your fight is in two days, Marth has had years of fighting experience, you've had hardly a week. The odds are against you!"
"Besides, I just got out of the hospital after yesterday's training accident!" I said. "Shouldn't I be able to relax?"
"You can relax tomorrow." Mewtwo said. "Your muscles will be incredibly sore after today. I've also preordered your dinner."
My stomach suddenly sank. "What is it?"
"Meat. Lots of protein." Mewtwo replied. "Now then, are you going to train?"
"You say that like I have a choice in the matter." I muttered. "If it is to keep you four in the Smashers. Lets go."
Red looked like he was about to say something. However before the first syllable could escape his mouth, Mewtwo teleported us away to the gym. We were in a room with a projector. In front of it was a large white screen.
"Welcome to the last day of training." Mewtwo said. He walked over and grabbed a large white and gray object.
"What is that?" I asked.
"Bow before your Balance-board Overlord!"
Wait. What?
"Your training for today will be hard and gruelling! You will be playing this game. Wii Fit."
I paused for a moment to try and let the extra emphasis that Mewtwo added to Wii Fit sink in. "You're kidding right?"
"Not at all. I don't joke around."
"But, why?"
"No more questions!" Mewtwo said hitting me over the head with a paper fan. He placed the board on the ground. "Now step on the board!"
I did so. What came next was a surprise.
"AHHHH!" A high pitched voice screamed I looked down and saw it was coming from the balance board. "What the hell are you doing?!"
"Standing on you as per the instructions?"
"You're standing on me while wearing shoes! What if you stepped in dog crap and ruin my pristine whiteness?" The balance board screamed. Somehow if I didn't break this by the end I would be surprised. I kicked off my shoes and stepped down on him. "Socks? Are you trying to kill me with static electricity?"
That would be a nice thought...
"Not to mention your feet stink!"
How does a machine register smells?
"Do you want me to be in my bare feet?" I asked. "I'm pretty sure they would be worse!"
I took off my socks and then stepped on the balance bored. "AHHHHHHHHHH!" It screamed. "Your feet are cold!"
Resisting urge to kill.
"And you're heavy! Why are you crushing me? What did I ever do to you?"
I wonder how much pressure I can apply to this thing before it snaps like a twig...
"Are you even listening to me? Think you can ignore me? Think you are as tough as nails?"
Will this blend...
"Hey fat ass get off of me!"
"What is it doing?" I asked Mewtwo.
"It's testing you." Mewtwo replied.
"So far the only thing it's testing is my patience." I replied.
"Think of it as training for when the crowd starts booing at you or cheering for Marth." Mewtwo replied.
Easier said than done.
"Measuring... Measuring..." The Balance Board said. I just rolled my eyes suddenly on the screen appeared a scale and 4 different labels. Underweight, Normal, Overweight and Obese. "Complete... You are..." On the screen a marker moved up to Normal and got close to Overweight. Eventually it stopped for a few seconds. Suddenly it moved itself up to obese.
Try to remain calm...
I had a medium build and Dr. Mario did say that I was at an ideal weight for my height for my age, not that it really mattered since I was going to die soon.
"Mewtwo I think it might be defective."
"How so?" Mewtwo asked intrigued that I would even ask this question.
"Well for one it can talk. And I don't think that it is normal for giant pieces of plastic to talk..."
"In your world yes... In ours this is pratically the norm."
"Get off of me!" The balance board continued to scream.
"And I'm not obese..."
"You aren't, but you do weigh a lot with all of those extra weights on you."
I paused. I had completely forgotten about the extra weights that I had put on a few days ago. I got off the balance board. "About time asshole!" The board screamed. I then took off the weights on my wrists and ankles. Suddenly I felt lighter.
"Care to take my weight again?" I asked the balance board.
"If you promise not to crush me again…"
I stepped on once again.
"AHH!" It screamed. "Your feet are still cold." I tried to calmly breath in and out, trying not to lose my patience with the balance board. "You're also shifting your center of gravity quite a lot too. All right, I'll be your coach."
"I'm just wondering, based on my previous coaches, will you do anything sadistic or try to kill me?" I wondered.
"Don't worry I'm just here to help you. And by help you I mean make you extremely insecure about your own self-image causing you to be propelled farther and farther into despair and angst about how you will never be laid because you are ugly and weigh too much! Meanwhile I'll continue to be used as an excuse as to why gaming is being propelled further and further into the casual abyss, which apparently didn't exist until now! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Does this thing have a mute button?" I asked Mewtwo.
"No." He replied. "Although sometimes, I wish it did. Just try to filter it out."
"That's easier said than done." I muttered. I looked down at the balance board and it continued to laugh and gloat. "So who's idea was it to make this thing sentient?"
Mewtwo just laughed. "No idea. Though you probably want to kill them by the end of this."
If by the end of this, you mean right now, then yes.
"Okay so by the end of this you won't care if I revile this training regimen?" I asked.
"No, not at all." Mewtwo smiled.
"HEY LISTEN! LOOK! LISTEN! Pay attention to me!" The balance board shouted.
I looked down at it. "No." I replied. "You smell, like dirty feet."
The balance board was horrified and didn't take the comment lightly instantly it began to make an uproar. "Take that back!" It screamed.
"No." I snapped. "Learn your place and shut up!"
"I will not be silenced!" It cried.
"There are two kinds of people in the world." I coldly began. "Those who walk on others and those who are walked on. You're the latter."
"Well at least your taunting is getting better, I guess this training wasn't a complete waste." Mewtwo said. I couldn't help but notice that Mewtwo was smiling.
"I will not let how I was designed stop me from conquering the world!" The balance board laughed. "I'll make all the insecure preteens obsessed with their personal image commit suicide and then after that their parents will pass away with grief! There will be no one left to stop me!"
How does that work?
"Except with people with common sense and know that they are healthy and actually read the manual where it says that BMI isn't an accurate way to measure people under 20 since they are still growing." Mewtwo added in. "And even then it still isn't accurate since the way that the balance board uses is incapable of distinguishing fat from muscle. And then there is the fact that that fat weighs less than muscle."
"I think you should stop revealing all the problems with his plan. I seem to remember that people don't read the manual." I said.
"Ah good point." Mewtwo replied. "Then in that case his plan could still work but you would still have problems."
"Though to be perfectly fair, if a person is overweight I'm pretty sure the balance board wouldn't be the first person to tell them that." I added.
"Oh but I have a back up plan!" The balance board shouted. "I will also destroy gaming as everyone forever knows it! After I succeed the market will be populated with more casual games than ever before! People will be so sick of the over saturation that they will give up! It will be like 1983 all over again! AHAHAHAHAHA!"
"If we ignore him will he go away?" I wondered.
"Unfortunately no. He also doesn't have legs..." Mewtwo replied. "And you're standing on him."
"All right balance board. Do your worst. Lets play some Wii Fit!" I said.
Mewtwo controlled my regimen. He switched from activity to activity. The Balance Board continued to scream and shout and I did my best to ignore it. I guess in one sense this was also a form of training. It was training to learn how to ignore the audience's constant cheers, boos, or even the constant calling of my name, in order to make sure that I didn't get distracted. Of course, it would of been nice if Mewtwo actually told me that in advance.
Once I was focusing on what was on the screen and trying to match my movements it became relatively easy for me to block out the Balance Boards constant talking and threats. Eventually we got to a game where I was skiing down a hill. At the bottom of the hill there was a jump that you had to go off of. In order to go off the jump you had to straighten your legs. Unfortunately, I got a little too into the game and jumped. I hit the balance board and fell. It was rather obvious that this wasn't what I was supposed to do.
"You were going to smash me weren't you?!" The Balance Board shouted, outraged. "You wanted to jump high into the air and then smash me with your weight!"
That was unfortunately the straw that broke the camel's back. "Thats it!" I shouted. I got off the balance board and picked it up.
"Hey, what are you doing, put me back on the ground! I'll get air sick!" It pleaded.
I just used all of my strength and threw the balance board against the wall. It began to scream out in pain. Its voice also began to get distorted. "It hurts!" I picked it up again and smashed it against the ground. And again and again until it was finally silenced.
"Don't you think that you went overboard?" Mewtwo wondered.
"No." I replied.
Mewtwo just sighed. "Well, I'm probably going to get yelled at now since the advance copy of the balance board we got was destroyed. Ah well. I'm sure you did everyone a favour." Mewtwo came over and patted me on the back. "Eat the food I got you, it will be delivered to your room. Then relax tomorrow, you might not feel it now, but it will hurt like hell. During those 24 hours you should do as little physical activity as possible as your muscles grow and heal."
"Understood."
"I'll check up on you on the day of the fight. Don't be late. And don't disappoint us."
I was free to return to my room. As soon as I got there I went to my bed and collapsed on it. I suddenly felt exhausted.
I'll be so glad when this is all over...
I lost myself in a daze. I remember a knocking at the door and going to get it. Several seconds later I sat down and began to eat tons of food. After a day of training I had built up quite an appetite.
When I was done my food I placed it outside my door. I walked back into my room and collapsed on my bed again.
I soon drifted off to sleep.
To be continued...