Well, yes, it took a little longer, I am sorry. But at least it is a bit longer than the others :) I hope you enjoy this one and I hope I will update soon. Only two more weeks of school and then Christmas! Looking forward to that :) Read, enjoy, review. Love you!

Let me know if there are some spelling or grammar mistakes.

I own nothing but my OC and plot.

XV

The sun woke her up in the middle of the day. It was not unusual for Milla to be sleeping till noon after going to bed hours after midnight for the last few months. She took her time before opening the eyes and facing another day. She wished to sleep a little longer, so the day would be shorter. A simple wish she repeated day after day after day. Nights had always brought that magic with them, the calmness, the fresh air, safety and certain kind of comfort. Having stars and the moon, and occasionally a candle lit as the only source of light and a book by her side. Those were the biggest pleasures of her days.

The days were not worse, only a little different. Milla spent more time inside, walking outside to the town only if it was necessary, or when she was bored to death. Or sometimes, when it was raining and she had nothing to do, she walked around her gardens, enjoying the peaceful sound of the drops touching the ground. Emma was always frustrated after she came back soaking wet, but Milla only laughed. She had no strength to argue about such little things. Otherwise, she read and wrote and worked a lot less than before.

And that was on of the reasons Emma treated her like a little child sometimes. Less work had never been an option - since they had met, Milla's life was constant work, planning, running around the realm, asking, demanding, she had always had a war to fight. But not for the past few months. Not since she almost died. Not since she recovered from wounds. Not since she found out that Loki was gone forever.

But those changes seemed to make Milla a lot happier. She enjoyed her time fully, putting stress aside and focusing on the fun. There was not a week without a party or a ball to attend. She found so many new friends and met so many old ones that she almost forgot about. Less work meant more time for Andrea and Emma, even though they were not always available when Milla wanted to talk. Andrea started working, teaching children at local school again, while Adam was put to a nursery school to be more with others in his age. And Emma...Emma spent a lot more time with her fiancé. Emma and Johnatan engaged only a few weeks after their return from the hell that almost caused Milla's life. There were no words to show how happy it made everyone around, since all suspected that they had been in love with each other for quite some time. Now, they had their heads full of plans for the wedding. Milla tried to help them, but they were so stubborn, that she had to threat them before they accepted that she will pay for the wedding and it would take place in that house. After all, they were basically living there past few years.

Milla finally opened her eyes and looked at a beautiful, red dress full of glittering little rubies. Prepared for the night, a masquerade ball, the most important and prestige event of this year. She smiled. She should have bought the blue one.

A hot coffee and cookies were waiting for her on the dinning table. She screamed her thanks to Emma who was probably cleaning the library. Milla heard falling books and muffled curses. She laughed and took her little breakfast to the living room where she had her work. For the past few weeks, she decided to start drawing again. It had been her hobby when she was a young girl back in the village, but all joy from the activity faded away after loosing her family. It was not important since then. But now, now it was thankfully another way to escape the reality. Reading, drawing, playing the piano. She loved that.

Escape was needed, no matter how hard she tried to lie to herself and reassuring everyone that she was perfectly all right. Because there were times, when it all came back. When she lost a battle with her feelings and, when they took over and made her feel weak, the awful feeling she hated more than anything. And at those times, when memories as beautiful as painful came back, she had to do something to fight them off. All those times, when she felt like crying was the only option, but no tears came. She wasted them all long time ago, when she was too weak to shut down her feelings. Now, it was easier. It was a cup of something hot, a pencil and a paper, or a book or music. Forcing.

She looked at the drawing and frowned. It was not her best, but she never actually liked what she put on paper. Most of the times it were shapes and figures and emotions she could not describe in words. Her dreams. The bad ones particularly. They were gone for a while, when she was too tired to find a rest in sleep, and when she made herself too tired to dream. That was how she ruined her sleeping routine, by not sleeping for two or three days straight and then being dead to the world for one more. Only to prevent bad dreams. Luckily, one lady, whose name Milla instantly forgot advised her to put her feelings on a paper, in whatever form. And she tried it. Sleeping as well. It was terrifying at first, she was waking up with screams and tears in her eyes, shivering and staying awake for the rest of the night. But after a few months, it started working. The dreams were sometimes equally bad, even worse, but sometimes she remembered the good ones also. The dark circles under her eyes were a lot less visible and the dark drawings were piling up on her desk. She smiled more. It was time. All of this happened in almost six months.

"Morning, sleepy princess," Emma greeted her as she got out of the library with a box full of rubbish. "I need you to sort those hundreds of books so I can continue my work." She commanded to which Milla raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Aye aye, madam," she saluted.

Emma rolled her eyes and wiped sweat of her brow. "Don't be like this, it was your idea."

"Yes, and I will do it. Thank you for help, darling," she looked back at the paper. Only a sketch, village, empty, lonely and cold. She will finish it later. "But let it go now. You should start preparing for the ball tonight."

"You know I don't want to go," she sighed and sat at the couch next to her.

"Then hide somewhere with Johnatan and spend a night there. I don't care. But come, please?"

"If you don't care where we are, why should we go?" she asked, blushing. She was always blushing whenever someone spoke about her and her husband-to-be. Emma was this innocent, precious kind of girl, who was humble more than it was necessary at all occasions. Moreover, she was still flying on a cloud of happiness, unable to understand that this all was real. That she was to marry a person she had loved maybe since the first day they met years ago. Emma was living the dream.

Milla opened her mouth, but nothing came out for some time. "I don't want to be alone."

"You never are. You know most of the people there!"

"It's different. I can't tell them how terrible someone dances or how much I want to throw some bitch out of the window. You know. Friends' stuff." Milla shrugged while Emma was laughing.

"Fine. But you have to borrow me that narrow green and brown dress."

"As you wish," she offered her cookies. "And another reason I need you there is that I'm getting drunk tonight."

"You don't mean drinking so much we would have to carry you home?"

"No, I can walk drunk. But a little supervision could help."

Emma had stared at her blankly for half a minute until she shook her head and stood up to get the dress. "You are a pain in the ass sometimes, you know?"

"I love you too," Milla laughed and stood up to find something to eat.

The entrance hall was one of the most beautiful sight they had ever seen. Milla had been in the house before, but it charmed her all the same. The high marble ceilings and walls covered in the most beautiful paintings in the whole realm. The owner was a known collector of art, a friend Milla made when she was trying to find a decent painting to cover burnt walls in her, at that time, new house. Frankly, she never understood more than half of what he was saying, for his vocabulary contained mostly world of old tongue and slang, but it seemed like he enjoyed her company enough to send her invitations to every event that he organised. He asked only one thing in return and she gave it to him long time ago - posing for a portrait. Her face was now decorating a staircase.

Both Emma and Johnatan were trying not to stare around them and thankfully, they were great at it. All three of them walked to the ball room where most of the guest were wandering around or forming small groups to talk with friends. Expensive robes and suits and costumes in all kinds of colours distracted Milla's mind and with the masks that everyone including the staff wore, it was impossible to find anyone she knew. At least, they took champagne and created their own little circle. Milla smiled at them and fixed her black and red mask decorated with one long black feather.

"So? What do you say?"

"I don't think I will ever get used to this." Said Johnatan quietly while staring at a young lady in the widest skirt he had ever seen passing by. Emma had to punch him in the chest to catch his attention. Milla swallowed laugh and drank instead.

"All those fancy people, I don't really think we belong here, Milla." Emma started speaking before Johnatan could complain. "It is different when there is a party in your house, and when we get somewhere else."

"Don't start with this now, I'm begging you," Milla rolled her eyes. "Come on, there is most delicious food and a lot of champagne and dancing, you won't be bored, I promise."

"And what if someone asks who we are? Am I supposed to say that I'm your servant and John your guard?" Emma sighed. She felt uncomfortable and a little bit ashamed and Milla hated that. It was a lie.

"No. You say you are my very close friends. Or create some story, if that makes you feel better. You both belong here, with me, and you have no idea how grateful I am for having you here. Johnatan, tell her to enjoy the night, please"

"I don't need a command to do that." Johnatan smiled and took Emma by the hand. "Come on Emma, we need to find that food. I know you are hungry." As they were walking away, Johnatan turned around and winked at Milla. She smiled at him and mouthed another thank you. She knew everything was all right, that they both wanted to be there, they only felt a little strange. She gave it an hour and one compliment before the feeling disappears.

Milla was walking around the house for a few minutes looking for someone she might be sharing company with for a few minutes. It was almost impossible to recognize anyone except a few people who didn't bother with the masks so much. The owner of the house was one of them. He wasted a lot of words on how beautiful she looked and told her a few theories about what her costume should represent. She waved him off with a laugh and kissed his cheek. After that, he promised to find her later and turned back to other guests. Milla went outside. There will be time for finding her later.

She allowed herself to close eyes for a few moments outside. There were a lot less people so it was less likely someone would talk to her. She loved the fresh air when everything was dark and quiet. It was easy to mute the sound coming from behind her. As a habit, she reached to feel a scar decorating her collar bones. It was not visible, make up did the work for her. She was glad all of those wounds left scars to remind her the recklessness and stupidity of her actions. To remind her that she was not invincible and could be easily harmed.

"And what are you, beautiful?" a voice made her open her eyes and turn around with curiosity. It was Tony, the one she was trying to find. Standing in front of her in a brown suite without mask but with two little bear ears atop of his head, he looked adorable.

"Watch your tongue, young man. I'm a devil herself." Milla reach out and hugged him. She liked the way he smelled, grass and citruses.

"You? Such and angel?" They met some months ago when a middle-aged man walked towards her and gave her a lecture about how stupid she was for almost dying. To her surprise, Aaron walked behind him laughing and introduced the commander of the Guardians, Tony. He was a lot different than she had ever expected a commander to be. Not strict and cold and proud. Tony had a loving heart and a smile in his brown eyes, he was intelligent and had great sense of humour, but he was also respected as no other commander before. There was something in him that made people trust him immediately without further questions. He talked a lot and she soon started to like him and seek his presence at every event they were both invited to. Milla was pleased that he found her.

"Even devil was an angel once." She reminded him.

"Oh, apologies. Are we safe from your mischief then?" He raised an eyebrow with amusement. Milla flinched at the word, but the smile didn't fade.

"As long as you dance with me, yes." Milla waited until he offered her his arm and they walked back to the ball room. It was crowded, but they didn't mind. The song was slow and they spent most of the dance talking. He loved telling stories and this time, he was telling the one about how he met his wife's father. Only half of the tale was said when the song ended and so they danced again. She laughed when he was saying that he mistook his future father-in-law with a servant and asked him how to get to his wife-to-be room without being seen with the parents. Tony was laughing too, but the colour of his ears changed to red as he said that.

"What about we get some refreshments, Commander?"

"Excellent idea, my lady," he agreed and led her to the tables full of food. Milla didn't even realise how hungry she was until now. "I actually want o introduce you to someone."

"Really?" she smiled. "Well, I can't wait. But let me eat before or I will get drunk a lot faster than I planned."

They sat at the back of the hall to have some privacy to talk without shouting. The potato salad and grilled fish that she took was so delicious that she barely spoke being too busy with the food. It made no difference because Tony always had something to talk about. This time, it was about the new recruits that were absolutely undisciplined and weak and Tony's patience was running short. She suggested to create an illusion of an attack to make them realise that the training is not a waste of time. She volunteered to help organize it all so not even the commander would know what, when, where and how.

"I know how to handle undisciplined children," she said with that sly smile she reserved for work. Tony laughed.

"If I were not married and a some years younger, I would be so much in love with you, my lady Milla." he then took her hand and kissed her fingers. She giggled.

"That is not really a good idea, Tony. My lovers end up dead or missing and you are too precious to this world to do either of that." She smiled with a little bit less happiness than before. Tony sensed it and changed the subject.

They went through a mass of people, stopping now and then to say hello to either Milla's or Tony's friends. It took them nearly a half an hour to get outside again. Milla saw Emma and Johnatan dancing in the corner, right next to the band and to her satisfaction, they looked like they were enjoying being there. Johnatan caught her looking at them and smiled at her while she winked at him. She loved to see them together. Frankly, she doubted they would be together if she and Andrea didn't persuade Johnatan that Emma loved him and he should do something about it since she was too shy to admit any kind of feelings. Luckily, in a week, they went on a date and in four months, they were engaged.

"Milla, come here, I would like to introduce you to someone." Tony reached for her hand and Milla's fingers slipped to his palm without realising what was going on. They took a few more steps to a man standing alone and smiling at them. She scanned him from head to toe and smiled politely. "Milla, this is my son, Leo. Leo, this is the lovely being I told you about."

Leo looked her directly in the eyes and it was hard for Milla to look somewhere else. He looked just like a younger version of his father. The same beautiful and happy brown eyes, short brown hair, tall and well-built. He reached to kiss her hand and for some reason, Milla's cheeks turned red. "Nice to meet to, Leo." She said with her best flirtatious smile on. "Tony, why didn't you tell me your son is so handsome? I would have met him earlier."

"He is my son, what did you expect?" The Commander laughed and took out a cigarette. Leo and Milla refused one, so Tony apologized and joined a group of some friends that were calling him with fire in hands to smoke with them. He left the newly introduced people alone and the awkward silence lasted too long before he finally realised what was going on and took a breath.

"Do you dance, my lady?"

"I do," she smiled and let him lead her back to the dance floor. He held her gently, but not shy at all. They didn't talk at all, but that didn't matter. She was busy remembering his nice scent and reminding herself to breathe whenever she realised how close he was holding her. She couldn't resist touching the muscles on his arm and occasionally looking at his face. It was a bit different in the light and with a little distance between them. She saw full lips forming almost unnoticeable smile and wrinkles from laugh decorating his eyes. There were a few freckled from sun framing his nose.

Maybe she was staring too long, because he turned to her when she least expected it and looked her in the eyes again. She felt blood rushing to her cheeks and looked down embarrassed. And then, she heard him laughing quietly.

"Is there something on my face, my lady?"

"No." She was trying hard to calm down, but the redness in her face was too stubborn. Thank God she was wearing that mask that covered halves of her cheeks.

"Then why were you staring?"

"I wasn't...no," she mumbled and then took a deep breath and looked at him with a wide smile. "I like looking at handsome things."

That seemed to surprise him and he looked away with a smile. "If you are trying to get me to like you, it's working."

"I hoped it would."

They ended the dance in silence with smiles and own thoughts. Milla accepted Leo's arm and he lead her to the staircase where a group of people were waving at them. Tony was the only one she knew, but she soon discovered that the other two men and two ladies were family friends and they all met by accident there. Milla bowed to all of them and smiled when they said they knew who she was. It was nice to be known outside the city.

"What were you talking about, father?" Leo asked while handing Milla a glass of champagne.

"Asgard." He replied. Milla looked at him with and clenched her teeth.

"Lady Milla, I heard you are quite a traveller. Have you ever been to Asgard?"

Milla looked at the lady Brian that asked her that. She didn't want to talk about that. She didn't want to think about that. But at the same time, she couldn't just leave now, nor be impolite. She forced her lips to form a smile. "No, I haven't had the pleasure yet."

"But I am sure you know a lot about the place. You know everything about everything!" Tony laughed and the whole company with him. She felt Leo's eyes on her.

"Well yes, I know the basic history and customs, as everyone. But that is not what I was interested in when talking with Asgardians."

"Have you ever met an Asgardian?" Leo asked. Milla turned her head to him and after a second of silence, she nodded.

"Some time ago, yes."

"He must have told you about the place."

"Do tell us," the same lady insisted. Milla wanted to rip her lungs out.

"What would you like to know?" she asked politely, hoping this conversation would be over very soon.

"Whatever was interesting for you." Leo replied with a sort voice.

She stared at his face for some time before she took a sip of champagne. He did tell a lot during those too short evenings they spent together something that felt hundreds years ago. She hardly ever though about that anymore, or at least she was trying not to. But now, when they brought it back, she couldn't stop the flow of memories. And all of a sudden, she laughed. "He did tell me a lot."

"Will you share?" Tony raised eyebrows. Milla was making them quite impatient.

"I'm not sure it will be interesting for you. But all right," she sipped the champagne again. "He told me about changing colours of the sky during the day and the way clouds hide the sun whenever Thor summoned the thunder and lightning. About the sound their magic waterfalls make, loud, but when you listen to them, it fills you with peace. He told me how the Bifrost Bridge shines in the middle of the night and how scared he was of the emptiness underneath as a child. I know the name of all of the Odin's ravens and I know every secret way to the castle. I remember he told me how many books the castle library has and what was the drill of the court. I know where do children play at princes and fight with wooden swords and hammers." She realised she told too much and tried to sound normal again. "And of course, I know where the best brothel is and how to drink with Asgardians without getting drunk."

The party exchanged looks and a few laughed at the last sentence. Milla smiled shyly and drank all what was left in her glass. She spotted Emma standing only a few steps from them, some stranger talking to her while she was looking at Milla. She instantly turned away and tried to concentrate on her company.

"He sounds like an interesting fellow," Tony observed. "Lived in the castle?"

"Yes," she answered, forcing smile. "All his life." She was walking on dangerously thin ice here, but her mind was suddenly not able to create a convincing lie.

"He sounds so lovely. Where is he now? I would love to meet him." Lady Brian looked over to her quieter friend for support.

"He sounds like a romantic," the other woman nodded.

Milla took another glass of champagne. "Gone." She drank it at once. "If you excuse me, I need to find...someone."

She spun on her heels before anyone could stop her and climbed the stair as fast as she was allowed to. Her lungs had trouble finding oxygen and her knees were giving up the strength and she struggled with manoeuvring in that wide skirt. The instinct led her to the atelier, unlocking the door with her mind without realising. Not sooner than when the door was closed, she took a deep breath. The smell of paint was not important. The darkness was trying to embrace her again, as sudden as falling asleep. Tears was burning in her eyes. Gone. Why did they have to talk about this? To remind her of him? Of the one she was hoping to forget as soon as possible? And how stupid she was for thinking he can't hurt her anymore, that the worst was over a long time ago? Stupid. Weak. And yet, she could not hate him.

Milla found herself kneeling by the open window, her hands trembling. She had no idea how long she spent there. When the darkness attacked, she lost the track. Some time ago, she found herself at the sea shore and had no idea how she got there. Other times it felt like days, but in reality, she zoomed out only for a few seconds. She hated those, she hated letting one man destroying her like that, she hated that she allowed him to do so. All those stories she once admired, about a girl whose life changes when a man walks to her life, she had she stopped believing in so long ago. Milla was angry now, whenever she read about it. When did she allowed her life to become some crappy book?

She overheard knocking and suddenly, Emma was closing the door with her leg. A bottle of something was in one hand and two glasses in the other. She sat right next to her without a word. Milla hated this too. The unspoken knowledge about her being a mess. She knew everyone was whispering behind her back, even Andrea and Emma and Johnatan and Jon and Erik. And she hated how every time when she had a weak moment, Emma somehow knew and tried to comfort her. Milla didn't want a comfort. She wanted her senses back.

"Vodka." Emma announced as she poured the alcohol to the glasses. Milla instinctively took it and drank. It tasted right.

"I shouldn't be drinking every time I fuck up." She muttered. "More people to think I've gone mad. Brilliant."

"Nobody thinks that. And if they do, they are fools. Everyone needs a time out sometimes." She tried to help. She always had. First, she yelled at her when Milla drank, but later, she gave up and sometimes, she drank with her. Milla hated that even more than solitude.

"They do. I would stop it if I could. Bullshit." She drank the second shot. It tasted a bit worse.

"You should think of something else. You seem to like that Tony man, why not spending more time with him?"

"And become annoying. No, thanks. It doesn't matter. It's not like I can avoid this."

"Well, I told you a few times that time will heal it. You will forget him."

Milla raised her head. Forget? No, no she didn't want to forget. She must not forget. Not about her prince that made her nightmares go away. IT hurt so bloody much, but forget all of that wasn't an option. "I don't want to forget. I have to think about him, you have to let me think about him." A sudden anger rose in her voice. Emma looked puzzled as Milla handed her the glass and stood up. "You want to help me, but forgetting is not help. If I forget how it was to live, what is the point of being alive then?" She took a few steps and then looked back at Emma, enraged. "Nothing good ever happened to me in this fucking world so don't blame me for trying to survive." She was almost shouting.

"Emma stared at her for a few seconds. "I do not blame you. But he is not coming back. What is the point of torturing yourself?" Emma said in a low voice.

Once in a while, when she allowed herself to remember, she liked to think about one night. Milla was visiting some boy who was bitten by a snake and returned late at night after she was sure that the antiserum helped. The house was dark and she was sure everyone was sleeping. For some reason she was not tired and went to get a hot chocolate and a book she was reading at the moment and enjoyed too much. But the book was nowhere to be found. So she gave up and walked to her room to find something other to entertain herself. But the door on Loki's bedroom was opened. Of course, she looked inside. The man was sleeping on his belly, one hand fallen off the bed and right next to it was the book she was looking for. She immediately created a theory. He waited for her and fell asleep while reading something she enjoyed. She never mentioned it, nor asked about it. But it was a sweet memory. The one she liked. The one she was torturing herself with. "You are right. He is not coming back. Thank you for reminding me." She said in ice-cold voice.

Without further word, she turned againg and walked to face the guests again. She had everything under control now, letting her acting save the night. And maybe later, save her. Maybe, if she pretended long enough, she would believe it. Or not. She hoped not.