Warning: sexytimes
Chapter 18:
"You can't spell Love without 'L'"
"So what, are you going to run to Finn again?"
Quinn replays what she said to Rachel over and over again. She rolls over on her bed and takes her phone.
Twenty five messages, this is the number of messages Quinn left on Rachel's voicemail. She said she was sorry, she shouldn't have walked away and that maybe she overreacted.
From Quinn: baby you're okay? Why aren't you answering the phone?
From Quinn: Rach, come on baby please?
From Quinn: are you ignoring me?
From Quinn: Okay, I deserve that.
From Quinn: I'll do whatever you want, really, I just want you, I wasn't even thinking; you're always so smart, you know things; you know what's better for us. Whatever you want okay? I love you.
From Quinn: I love you.
She sent another eighteen messages like this and then one last one:
From Quinn: twenty five; is the amount of years that you brighten up the world with your smile, though I'll probably die here wanting to send more messages, I think I said too much, I love you. Call me.
###
In her bed, Rachel tosses her phone away. She had a terrible night. She missed Quinn. Who could have predicted that Quinn is the one who is willing to be out and proud and she is the one hiding?
At first it was the promise, if she had fallen in love with a woman she would be out and proud, what a lie. Then Quinn, her Quinn happened and where is the out and proud part? Okay, she needed to tell her dads, Shelby, Beth and she needed to tell Finn. It was a very big list.
"So what, are you going to run to Finn again?"
Quinn really has no idea. Rachel sighs. She is not willing to get out of bed today. She hears Sophie purring and smiles.
"Come here you trouble maker." She just remembers that she actually didn't check her twitter yet. "Let's see what people are talking about you, shall we?" She takes her phone and checks out her twitter. She has lots of messages of fans, but that's not unusual. She searches for the F word, because thank God is not on the trend topics anymore.
What's this #faberrycat thing?
faberry faberry faberry Fabray + Berry faberry! #faberrycat.
It's not#faberrycat it's Rachel's cat
It's Sophie! #faberrycat
Wow! That was so gay! I love Brittany! Remember Fondue for two guys?! Also she is hot! #faberrycat
#faberrycat! Like: Fabray + Berry *-* genius Britt is genius… also friends taught me that cats are a big step… #justsaying
It's just me or that was soooo gay, I mean, will they still keep talking about that friendship shit? First matching bracelets now this #faberrycat
She looks at her bracelet because, although, they actually weren't together when they bought the bracelets, now it really does seem something more.
Quinn dated a girl before, she kind of hides it now, I suppose it's because of the show. #faberrycat
Why people are freaking out with this #faberrycat thing? Wasn't she with Puck?
"No! She is not!" Rachel shouts.
I think they're cute, but they're just friends. What is the big deal about this #faberrycat thing anyway?
People are so delusional, so someone puts their names together and now they're a couple? #faberrycat
I shipped #faberry since Rachel's David letterman interview. They're so cute together. #faberrycat
Cats? They are a big step remember "Friends"? Cats are a big deal. #faberrycat
Thank you very much Brittany! #faberrycat
There is much more, but she stops reading. If she wasn't so depressed she might have found it all very amusing.
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders…
Rachel, You have to be honest with her and with yourself.
Rachel's inner voice tells her.
Flashback:
"I would like to point out how much of a drama queens my dads are, I mean it's a family trait or something."
"I think they're right and it's an honor to us all to have you as our client."
"Ronnie would've killed me otherwise."
"Talking about me?" Veronica enters in the office.
"Absolutely not!" Rachel teases.
"Veronica, please we're doing business in here and you can't burst in just because your daddy is the president of this firm."
"Don't forget he is also the owner, and Miranda, please control your bitch-a- itude. I'm actually here for Rachel."She explains.
"Ronnie!" Rachel reprimands.
"Can you stop calling me that?" The woman complains.
"So how are you beautiful?" Veronica kisses Rachel's cheek and ignores the other woman.
"I'm fine really. I'm only doing this because my dads insisted I do this, so here I am."
"Quinn once told me and I can see it now, you are too forgiving."
"She said that?" Rachel smiles from ear to ear.
"I have to go or the lesbo there will complain about it with my father." Ronnie whispers into Rachel's ear and then kisses her lips quickly. Rachel looks more carefully at the woman and Veronica giggles.
"Really?"
When Veronica is at the doorway she says:
"You are still too new in this thing straight girl, because your gaydar sucks."
"Hey, I grew up in a home with-."
"Whatever." She cuts Rachel off playfully. "I have to go, so bye."
Rachel huffs.
"Sorry, I'm so sorry, you…" She turns to the other woman.
"It's okay. I'm used to her silliness."
"She really is silly."
"I'm sorry but- uh…you and her?" The redhead woman questions her.
"Will you warn me about her unfaithfulness or the fact that's she a slut? Don't worry I know, I was drunk and wow!" She covers her mouth. "Why am I telling you this? I'm sorry, we can go back to the issue at hand."
"Miss Berry, before we continue, I have to say, stop it now." The lawyer says in a serious tone.
"What?"
"This behavior, I know you artists and your life style, and yes Broadway may be a pretty gay friendly place, but I have to remind you what you are and yes, I'm a lesbian, but I'm also married."
"Well, congratulations!"
The woman frowns as she is not joking.
"And we want to adopt a child."
Rachel shrugs.
"Do you know how difficult it is? How much prejudice is involved?"
"I have…"
"Two fathers yes and still, you think you can be playing around with girls just for fun?"
"It's not like that."
"No? Are you gay then?"
"This is highly inappropriate and I'm leaving, I demand another lawyer!"
"Are you running away from this conversation?"
Rachel explodes. She bursts out all her frustrations at once.
"Don't you dare! Don't you fucking dare! You don't know me! I've heard this speech many times before! So fuck you! I'm done with this shit!"
Rachel leaves the office fuming.
She calls that one person who always has the right thing to say to her, because it always seems to be Quinn that Rachel goes to, for so many reasons.
"Hello Rach what's up?"
Because really, just to hear that voice.
"I shouldn't be bothering you, I was, well, pissed off, and I just wanted to hear a friendly voice, you know?"
Actually I just wanted to hear your voice.
Rachel thinks it, but she doesn't say it.
"Okay, tell me everything."
Now:
Rachel sighs. It really is time to let it go. She loves Quinn and that's all that matters. She is a person, not a cause.
She spends the whole day alone, but she sends a text to her girlfriend.
From Rachel: I'm ok, just need to be alone today.
From Quinn: Can I see you tomorrow then?
From Rachel: I'll be at Mercedes.
From Quinn: Can I call you?
From Rachel: I just need time and I'll call you soon.
From Quinn: Time from me? Are we breaking up?
From Rachel: No Quinn, I love you and I'll call you.
From Quinn: Okay I love you too.
After her time alone, she decides she should visit Mercedes. Of course she is buying a gift for the Diva, she is Rachel Berry, and she doesn't pay a visit with her hands empty. But is West Hollywood, paparazzi are an inevitability.
"Hi Rachel!"
She keeps walking toward her car; her glasses are hiding all the signals of the previous night.
"Where is the cat?" Someone jokes and she smiles.
"Is Quinn going to live with you again?"
Rachel ignores the questions and they keep taking pictures. She reaches the car and drives to Mercedes house.
"So, you finally decided to unglue yourself from your girlfriend? Which by the way is still weird to me…You and Quinn? Kurt said he knew, but I really doubt that, he was only bragging."
Rachel giggles.
"Nice to see you too Mercedes. I am going to hug you now."
Mercedes smiles widely and hugs her friend. After all the greeting, Mercedes prepares some drinks and they go to the pool area.
"Sunbathing is divine!" Rachel states.
"There is not much of this in New York or in Ohio uh?"
"This is not true, you know, to keep my complexion's tonality, I always did it at my house in the backyard or in central park, when I used to have time, that is."
"Who could've imagined it… us, here in California?"
"Tell me about it, but I think I always imagined it you know, I always wanted everything too much. Broadway, New York..."
"Quinn Fabray." Mercedes completes teasingly.
"That's so true and in so many levels, you have no idea." The singer smiles from ear to ear."But let's talk about another blond." She adds playfully.
Mercedes laughs amused.
"What did Sam tell you?"
"Not much, because hey, it's Sam." She shrugs. "But the little we did talk I could detect a case of divahavior."
"What?" Mercedes giggles.
"Diva behavior and you only behave like that when you're insecure and I saw the pictures, the one with Sam and those skinny models."
"Okay, Sherlock."
"My intuition never fails."
"Okay, maybe you are just a little bit right."
"Mercedes he loves you, he's not like that." Rachel ponders.
"He dated the unholy trinity and you know B, Santana and Quinn are gorgeous."
"You know you just mentioned three of our best friends and they are very special women, right? Quinn is the most special of all, but anyway my point is, you're special to him, those are just superficial women, he loves you, that's what matters and besides Mercedes, you're beautiful."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." She nods her head. "Now let's gossip."
Mercedes chuckles as she almost chokes on her drink.
"Should I call Kurt?" She asks.
"Of course!" Rachel shouts happily.
"Stop! You're annoying me and if you keep whining Quinn I'll kick you out of here!"
"I'm not whining." Quinn whispers. She throws herself on the couch.
"Yeah right!"
"I'm sorry, it's just that I was such-" She stops talking because of the sound of Rachel's voice singing one of her songs, coming out from her phone.
"Oh so cute." Santana teases, but Quinn ignores her and answers eagerly.
"Hiiiii." Rachel's voice is an octave higher.
"Hi."
"Mmm, I love your voice baby."
Quinn smiles at that.
"Are you drunk?"
"Nope, I'm with Mercedes and we've been drinking just a liiittle."
"Okay baby, I'm going to take you home."
"No!"
"Why not?" Quinn whines.
"I'm just calling to inform you."
"To inform me? Rach, I'm not your boss or something, I'm your girlfriend."
"I just meant that I don't want you to worry about me."
"That's impossible my love. Now let me take you home, okay?"
"It won't be necessary Quinn. I think I'm going to stay here."
"But Rachel I want to see you."
"Tomorrow, I promise. I love you."
"I love you too."
Rachel hangs up the phone.
"So?" Santana asks.
"She's with Mercedes and I screwed up, didn't I?"
"No, let her be Quinn, something is telling me that she is dealing with her own demons right now"
"What you mean?"
"I have a guess, maybe it is my third eye."
"Do you know something I don't know?"
Quinn asks as Santana gets lost in thoughts.
Flashback:
"You won't believe it!"
"Hi Santana, how was your trip?"
"Whatever lady Hummel, Ohio sucks!"
"What we won't believe?" Rachel asks.
"Brittany and I were walking on the park with her cousin's daughter and you know, Britt loves PDA… anyway, this stupid woman just said: Nowadays things are quite strange, imagine how messy this child's head is."
"Don't lose your head over it."
Kurt says sweetly as Rachel's eyebrows are about to meet in the middle of her forehead, they are furrowed so tight.
"No wait, there's more, the other bitch and I know she knew we were listening, said: It really should be illegal for the kid's sake. I mean it's an abomination!"
"Well, welcome to the Berry family's life."
"Sorry, I forgot."
"No, it's okay. If you'll excuse me." Rachel leaves them.
Now:
"San?"
"Uh?"
"Do you know something I don't know?"
"No, not really, just be patient okay?"
Quinn sighs. She is going to be patient; after all she waited almost ten years for Rachel. What's one more day?
Except that on the following day Rachel was busy yet again. She waited patiently. Then she went to her girlfriend's house.
"Hi Quinn!"
She is not very happy that it is he who welcomes her in the house.
"Where's Rachel?"
"She is getting some sheets which she has worked on these past few days. How are you?" Brian asks.
"I'm fine; I'd like to ask you to not intrude in our private lives."
"You mean?"
"Whether we will make it public or not, it is our problem."
"Oh, that… yeah I'm sorry, I'm a pragmatic person, when I have a goal I chase it for all it's worth."
"What does this have to do with me and Rachel?"
"I wanna make her a star."
"She is a star." She says harshly.
"A bigger star."
"Your point?"
"She seems a bit distracted lately." He points out.
"By me?"
"Maybe and let's face it when you two go out public, it will be madness. Look what one little tweet already did. I don't want her distracted, I want her focused."
"She will be, as she always has been and as I said, don't intrude." Her voice is lower than usual.
"Here it is, finally. It is kind of a mess in-" Rachel gets in the living room and in the moment she sees Quinn her smile spreads across her face.
"Don't worry music is a universal language."
"Yes it is." She says to him but her eyes are locked onto her girlfriend's eyes.
"Well, I'm leaving." He says getting annoyed.
"Okay." Rachel says not paying attention to him anymore. Brian kisses Rachel's cheek, which annoys Quinn, and then he leaves them.
Quinn gets close to her girlfriend, she lifts her hand to cup Rachel's face but the brunette holds it and kisses it.
"Are we okay?"
"Mmhm are you hungry? Have you had dinner?"
"Yeah, Rach?"
"Mm?"
"What's going on? Look, I'm sorry, I…"
"What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything wrong." Rachel puts her hands on Quinn's hips and pulls her close as she kisses her girlfriend's chin. "Let's sleep?" She asks.
"Okay, look, I need to go to Ohio tomorrow, because I promised my mom, and I want to see Beth."
"Okay."
"Are you coming with me? I know you don't have..." she trails off. "Kurt, B and Santana will be there if it makes things better." She smiles hopefully. Rachel giggles and rests her forehead on Quinn's chest.
How similar they are.
Because, really, Quinn is enough reason for her and it has always been like that. Just like Rachel always wanted to be enough reason for Quinn.
"Come back to Glee, it will be fun boys vs. girls…"
She remembers amused.
She then cups Quinn's neck and presses their lips together. They remain like that with their lips just pressed against each other as they don't need to let passion overtake their bodies. Right now, they are feeling all the love they feel for each other.
Rachel pulls away.
"I love you, but I'm not going with you."
"Why not?"
"Not tomorrow, I need to do something first."
"Are you still mad at me? I'll do whatever you want."
"It's not you, it's me." Rachel waves her off.
"Oh god!" Quinn whines.
"No, it's not like that, I just meant, I'm dealing with some-" She sighs.
"You can trust me."
"I know, and I do, but I need you to trust me too, so you're going to Ohio tomorrow, everything will be okay, I promise. Let's sleep because I'm really tired."
Quinn nods. She misses cuddling with her girlfriend and her smell, and having her hair all over her face.
"Okay."
"Quinnie!"
Quinn goes to Ohio the following morning, without Rachel.
"Hi mom."
She comes into the house and hugs her mother.
"Where is Rachel?" Judy questions her daughter.
"She couldn't come."
"Oh, but you're here! I'm so happy, my two daughters!"
Judy beams, but Quinn shrugs.
"She is here then?"
"Quinnie…" Judy complains.
"My bedroom now, Frannie… later…"
"Okay." Judy conceals.
She goes to her bedroom. As soon as she gets there she tosses her bag away and throws herself on her bed. It seems like the last time she came home.
She loves you… she loves you…
After a moment of mental rest, she decides to face the perfect couple downstairs. She really doesn't know why, but she feels the need to look good, so she takes a quick shower, she puts on her makeup and wears one of her favorite dresses (actually, it is Rachel's favorite).
Before she reaches the kitchen, Quinn can hear her sister's voice. It would be a pleasure to spy, but she really is not in the mood.
"So, you finally decided to give me the honor of your presence?"
"Yeah…"
Quinn gets a little closer and they hug each other.
"I mean my sis is a celebrity."
"Kind of, where is Mark?"
"In the backyard, but tell me about your glamorous life, I saw you on the David Letterman's show."
"It's nice, sometimes and it's exhaustive and not glamorous at all at the same time."
"Interesting."
Quinn knows her sister is avoiding the love life subject, which used to be her favorite pastime, to inquire about Quinn's relationships. But somehow the actress likes it this way, Judy has others plans though.
"So Quinnie, why is Rachel not here?"
Judy asks and Frannie rolls her eyes.
"She said she had to do something."
"I thought you guys couldn't stay away from each other." Judy teases her daughter.
"Rachel? Rachel Berry? The Jewish girl with two fathers?"
"Frannie…" Judy reprimands her older daughter.
"Okay, since mom seems to be apparently in a trance, I guess I'll have to say, you're dating a girl again? Really? I thought that was just a phase. I think I don't have to tell you what I think about it."
"Frannie!"
"It's okay mom and really, you can stop now. Rachel is not here."
"Stop what?"
"I think I just screwed up everything anyway, but hey! Maybe someday I will marry a guy and give you beautiful grandchildren."
She says resentful, and then she storms out, well, she has learned with the best.
Her phone is ringing on her bed when she gets in her bedroom. She throws herself on the bed as fast as she can.
"Hello."
"Hello my love."
Her face lights up with a happy smile.
"Yes, I'm yours."
"I hope so."
"As long as you want me to be."
Quinn bites down on her bottom lip as she hears Rachel's breathing.
"I called to see how you are and whether you got home safely, because apparently someone forgot to tell me."
The actress giggles amused and more at ease.
"I just arrived not long ago, and will you come?"
"Yes, like I told you, I just needed to do something before."
"Don't be long."
"I won't. I promise."
"Okay, I love you."
"I love you too, and Quinn? I'll always want you."
Everything is going to be okay. She is feeling so much better that she can barely contain her smile.
She is in dreamland or Racheland, it's the same to her anyway, when she hears a knock on her door.
"Come in." She says.
Judy gets inside the room.
"It's what you think?"
She bursts out the words right away.
"Mom." Quinn sighs.
"Maybe I do deserve it. I let him kick you out of here right? But I'm really trying Quinn, I know I'm not the perfect mother, but you know what? After your accident, I really realized how much I was losing.
I wanted to get close to you Quinn and yeah that's not the easiest thing in the world for me, but you know what? Your happiness is what matters to me, and now, Rachel's too, because really, look at her, I don't think it's possible not to love her right away."
Quinn's tears stream down her face.
"I'm sorry." She stands up and hugs her mother. "I think Rachel is right, the Fabray women can't resist Rachel Berry."
"Well, she definitively captivated me." She smiles and wipes her daughter's tears.
"Yeah yeah, she is mine."
Judy rolls her eyes.
"You really need to control your jealousy. Anyway, she has one more Fabray lady to conquer."
"That will be tough."
She wakes up the next day with the buzz of her phone. She takes her phone and reads the text.
From Santana: I'm bored already… Lima sucks!
From Quinn: Where's B?
From Santana: Fuck you!
From Quinn: She's not with you I'm assuming.
From Santana: She's at her mother's. Is Berry coming?
From Quinn: Soon ;)
From Santana: Ass
From Quinn: She is on her way.
From Quinn: Fuck! Delete that message right now!
From Santana: Done
From Quinn: Why are we texting?
From Santana: I didn't know you were awake.
Quinn calls her friend right away.
"Hello bitch!"
"Hello."
"So, your plans?"
"I'm going to visit Beth and then I'll spend the rest of the day with my mom."
"Nice, but tell me are you and Berry okay?"
"Aw, you're concerned about my love life?"
"Why are you assuming it's you? It could be-"
"Rachel?" Quinn completes. "Aw, how sweet."
Quinn teases her.
"Shut the fuck up!"
"It's really nice to talk to you Santana, but I'm going to see Beth."
"Go ahead Juno."
"Whatever sandbags."
"At least I have boobs."
"Whatever…"
She hangs up the phone, gets out of bed and goes downstairs with a smile on her face.
"Morning mom! Happy mother's day!" She kisses her mother's cheek and hugs her tight. Judy giggles happily.
"Hey there Quinn." Mark greets her.
"Hi Mark, how are you?" She goes toward him and hugs him quickly, what must have been the strangest thing in the world for her sister, taking into consideration her face. Rachel was right. The Fabrays are not like the Berrys though she really doesn't care about her sister's opinion.
"I'm fine."
"Morning sis." Quinn kisses her sister's cheek.
"Who are you?" Frannie asks confused.
"This is Rachel's influence." Judy teases and Quinn smiles.
"Still with this Rachel's thing mom?"
"Who is Rachel?"All the three women look at him at the same time.
"Rachel is my girlfriend and the love of my life, I'm sorry if that upset you sis and now, if you'll excuse me, I have to see the other love of my life." she turns to Judy. "Sorry mom, I promised Beth I would have breakfast with her, okay?"
"Okay. Uh… you could bring her here, maybe?"
"I'll see. Bye guys!" She leaves the kitchen with a smirk on her face.
"I'll get it! I'll get it!"
Quinn hears Beth's voice and as soon as the girl opens the door, Beth jumps in her mother's arms.
"Quinn!"
"Beth!" The actress lifts her daughter and hugs her tight.
"Happy mother's day!" Quinn smile couldn't be any bigger. "Come in! I have something for you!"
"Really?"
They come to the living room.
"Hi Quinn!"
Shelby welcomes her.
"Hi Shelby."
"Rachel is..." Shelby nibbles her bottom lip.
"She is coming. She should be in her plane now." Quinn smiles at the other woman reassuringly. "She didn't forget you."
Shelby nods happily.
"Come on!"
Beth drags her to her bedroom.
"I love you bedroom." Quinn states as they get inside Beth's bedroom.
"Really?"
"Yes really."
Beth goes to her closet and takes a box.
"Here!" She hands it over to Quinn and the blonde takes it.
"What is it?"
"Well, your gift! You know, I was thinking, I'll have to be rewarded, two mothers two presents and I may have spent all my savings." she smirks.
"By her savings she meant blackmailing Rachel."
"Mom!" Beth shouts and Shelby laughs.
"Quinn, you're having breakfast with us right?"
"Yes, I promised."
"Okay."
Shelby turns around and leaves them.
"Open it!" Beth says eagerly.
"I'm opening."
Quinn giggles as she opens the box and finds a gold charm.
She loves her girlfriend. She thinks.
"Here," Beth takes the note that it is in the box too. "Read it…" The older blonde smiles at her daughter. "Go ahead…" Beth says.
Yes! Maybe the charm was my idea, but she chose it!
Love you!
Always yours
Rachel
"These tears mean you loved it or…" Beth trails off unsure.
"Of course I loved it! Come here!" She pulls Beth close and hugs her daughter.
"Do you know what it is?"
"Mmm let me see, 'Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!'"
Beth laughs and sings.
"I'm late I'm late for a very important date. No time to say Hello, Goodbye. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late…"
She smiles happily.
"How did you know?"
"It's a rabbit isn't it?"
"Yes it is, Rachel told me to buy something that would represent me and I love Alice in wonderland, like a lot."
"Of course you do you're my daughter after all."
"Let's eat breakfast I'm starving."
"Beth?"
"Mmm?"
"Do you remember when you told me you wanted to meet your aunt? Well, she is here, I mean, in my house."
"Yes, I want to see her."
"Okay, let's talk to you mother."
Later, at night, Kurt, Brittany and Santana are in her living room trying to cheer her up.
"Sorry guys, I'm not really in the mood and I'm waiting for Rachel." She pouts. "She should be here by now."
"She will be Quinn." Kurt says.
"I know, but it's almost midnight though."
"So what? The spell will be over Cinderella?" Santana teases her.
"San." Brittany reprimands her girlfriend.
"I meant it's late, but thank you guys, for coming here. I would have freaked out if you-"
She stops talking as she hears the bell ringing.
"I'll get it!" She stands up quickly, but Judy is already going toward the door.
"Wow calm down Cinderella." Santana says smiling.
Before Quinn can complain, Judy walks toward them, hand in hand with Rachel.
"Rachel!" She runs toward her girlfriend and hugs her eagerly.
"Hey baby, sorry I'm late I was at Shelby's" Rachel giggles into their embrace.
"I'll leave you guys now. I think I'm going to bed. Have a good night guys." Judy addresses to the group as they greet her too.
"Night Judy!" They say in unison.
"I think we are leaving too." Kurt informs.
"No, stay, you all. I want you all to hear this, I feel like I own this to you guys too."
Rachel says, a serious expression on her face.
"What's going on baby?" Quinn questions her girlfriend.
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Then she looks at those beautiful hazel eyes that have been her world, not just in these weeks they are together, but for almost ten years.
"I love my family, I love my dads, this isn't me complaining or regretting. This is me finally being honest with you. Seeing you insecure about my love for you makes me torn, more than you can imagine. So, with that being said, prepare yourselves for the mother of all the ramblings."
She goes to the arm chair and sits, gesturing to them all to do the same.
"Growing up in a home like mine was nothing less than wonderful to me, but outside those walls, my life was not so easy, I don't want you to think I'm a coward, that I wanted to hide our relationship on purpose…"
She sighs, eyes glazed over nothing, a scowl on her forehead.
"Don't you know she is gay? Her parents are turning her." She smiles weakly. "It should be illegal; this is too confusing for a kid…
Just one of the things I heard. When I was eight I remember that I got scared because I loved my dads so much I couldn't have imagined a life without them. I didn't know for sure that nobody could've taken me away from them."
She explains sweetly as Brittany eyes are watering, Santana is frowning and Kurt is crying, thinking how he could never have thought about it before. How could he have missed it?
Quinn is staring at her like she is watching the most perfect thing in the world. That is what Rachel is for her. She won't cry. Not now. She will listen Rachel's every word.
"I was raised to embrace the gay, and to love every person no matter what, my dads would've never been less than supportive about it and maybe if it was a different time and a different place, who knows? But it was Lima, Ohio. It was where I grew up and I never stopped being myself because of that, really, I was always myself."
She looks at Quinn more intensely.
"And I think…" She has to stop to control her tears. "I'm not gay. I'm even worse! I almost could hear the voices again. Look what they turned her, the promiscuity, it doesn't even matter if is a boy or a girl to her." The tears stream down her face.
"Rach…" Quinn whispers sweetly.
"I was fifteen and I panicked! So I decided to be the outstanding heterosexual girl who could prove that her home was like every other home and that she was just like the other girls who were raised in a "normal" family… you might have been raised in a conservative family Quinn and I know that loving me must have been really tough for you, but don't get me wrong, the optimist girl who wanted to live a fairytale? That was really me and I used to dream about my Mr. Arnstein."
She giggles.
"Yes it was silly, but I was a teenage and I really fell in love with Finn, that wasn't an act, it never was, but…" She cries hard. "You think I may be torn between you two…" More sobs. "Which is really ironic Quinn, because right now I love you and only you."
She tries to wipe her tears.
"But Finn always had to get half of my heart, because all this time? I have loved you and I kept it in secret, in a secret place inside my heart…" She looks at Kurt who gives a sympathy smile. "I will always be grateful to him, because one day half of my heart stopped beating and if it wasn't the other half I would be so damaged, it wasn't just the guilty, but the knowledge that I could never see you again or never talk to you again or never say: I love you Quinn Fabray, I always have. Yes, you pissed me off sometimes, well a lot of times."
Quinn laughs and sobs, because she stopped trying to hold her tears since the whole half heart thing.
"You really didn't understand what you meant to me. You couldn't. Because I was in a crusade, holding the Berry's family flag; and it didn't matter that when I first saw you it was like a neutron star collision, because that's what we are, a neutron star collision, you make me shine, and really Quinn? I named the song using the words you said to me! Because you mattered to me, you've always mattered to me and that song is all about you; it is all about us, and that includes him, because somehow he is part of our crazy love story. I met you before I met him…"
She starts crying again.
"The prettiest girl I've ever met and then you hated me."
"I never hated you." Quinn says affectionately.
"I didn't know. To focus on Finn was easy, especially because as I said I fell in love with him, but once and a while the collision would happen and it was always magical, like when I wanted to convince you to stay in glee, when we confronted each other that day in the auditorium, when you said we were friends, when you told me you got Yale, when you said you were going to be in the wedding, when I first saw your face after the accident."
She sobs.
"The first time I visited you in Yale, and my first musical. Even when we weren't friends, I always knew you weren't the bitch everyone thought you were, and you knew that I was destined for bigger things; we were always there for one another. Even without knowing, I told you that day when we were ...you know… what that crown represents to me."
Quinn blushes a little when she remembers that day.
"It was you that brought me back Quinn, because that's what you do, you make me shine, you didn't give me a piece of plastic, you gave me your dream."
"I kind of helped..." Santana teases. They all smile.
"Thanks." Rachel smiles with more tears rolling down her face. "I think that that was the most beautiful thing someone has ever done to me. Here is the thing with secrets, you need to keep it for yourself, but when you're over the edge, it's nearly impossible to do it, there were two times that I almost gave away my feelings, I know this will give ammunition to Santana's innuendos but Finn always managed to overshadow everything else, so when we were together I was blind to everything around me or inside me for the matter 'cause, yes I confess I became Mrs. Rachel Hudson."
"Yes, there will be innuendos."
"He said now or never and it was never after all and I chose you, I didn't realize at the time but I did and when we found out about the car accident, all this feelings came out and I was so scared and by the way I need to apologize to you 'cause I stepped away, and let's face it, I was the reason behind that accident, you know that, I know that, everybody knows that.
I should've been in your every physical therapy. Why wasn't I? Well, fear, really Quinn, I would've carried you on my back if you had let me, but seeing you like that made me sensitive, I was afraid to say the wrong thing and you would regret my friendship, it was selfish and not me at all, if I had to choose a moment when our relationship failed, it was in that three months that I let you on your own."
"You didn't…"
"Yes I did and ironically I choked on my audition! I don't need you to tell me Quinn, I know and I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach, you weren't okay, something was wrong and I couldn't focus on my rehearsals. Which shouldn't be a problem 'cause I sang it at sectionals without rehearsals but I knew something was wrong."
Quinn looks down, thoughtful.
"I was really down, like never before. I don't know if I would have done something drastic, I'm here right?"
Rachel gets pale, nauseous. Her hands are shaking as tears stream down her cheeks.
"I wasn't progressing in my recovery and yes, I was feeling lonely."
"I'm such an ass…" Rachel cries out.
"It's okay." Quinn kneel in front of her and holds her girlfriend's hand. "I was like that before the accident, Puck-" She sighs, caressing Rachel's hand. "We kind of understand each other and he was right, I was lost, but he thought it was because of the pregnancy, but it wasn't just that. He thought glee club was dedicating so much attention on Santana. When everybody always knew about her and B, but no one stopped to help me, because I was lost, and he had no idea how right he was. I was dealing with the same problem. I just didn't know. Finn was wrong, Santana would've never hurt herself but…" She takes a deep breath.
"I think I need to apologize to you Quinn," Kurt steps in. "I said those horrible things to you because of that David thing, you were right, and I'm not even talking about your sexuality, you went through so many things and you're right, San would've not hurt herself, but you wouldn't too, okay? You're a strong person." Kurt says emotionally and she smiles at him.
"When Puck told me about he and Shelby, that really pissed me off, and really, if it wasn't for Beth and you Rachel, I would have reported her, but I didn't and everything was going so well, we won sectionals, we became friends, I got Yale, my life finally was good, and then the weeding; I had to put some sense in your head, it never was about you choosing me over him, it was about sending you to your destination, but you didn't listen."
Quinn laughs.
"I was so vulnerable that day and I was exposed like never before, I mean, I was saying out loud in front of everybody, what had never happened before with us, how much I admired you and you didn't listen, so I walked way, and when I reached my car, I laughed, I laughed really hard, and it was liberating. I laughed of myself and I thought, wow Quinn, do you really think Rachel would considerate to call off the wedding because you won't be there?'"
"That's exactly what she did." Santana jokes trying to hold her tears. They all smile and Brittany puts her arms around her girlfriend shoulders, hugging her tight.
"So I decided to be a supportive friend. I really don't know what made me wear that uniform, it's funny cause I said so many horrible things to you wearing that and I don't know, I think it was unconscious. It was sad but at the same time that was me assuming the role that I have played so far, I was being a friend, I settled with this part that day…
She pauses, mulling everything over.
"And then the accident, I got really happy when I saw your face again, you all and I decided that I had to be strong, and I was, you said it was your fault, I disagreed, because it wasn't Rachel. Anyway, time passed, I got frustrated, Joe was the only one there for me, besides my mom, that is, and my mom and I became really close at that time, which was great, but the physiotherapy wasn't working, I was mad, frustrated and I got depressed."
She turns to Kurt.
"Here is the irony about my speech about David that day Kurt, I said I would never think of doing such a thing, somehow I was right I think I would never do that, but I got really close."
Rachel sobs again.
"Maybe not really close, but I was really down. Then I focused on one thing." She smiles and rolls her eyes.
"A plastic thing. I asked Finn, because I believed he could help me and yeah I think you're right, he is part of our crazy story and once again there was I, trying to push him away from you a… at that point, I could be crowned, having my dance, I mean, if Finn let me get up from that chair at my own pace instead of trying to pull me out by force…" She mumbles.
"When did he do that?!" Rachel shouts angrily.
"He was looking for me and he found me in the bathroom. I was standing and as always he took the worst conclusions and he didn't let me explain that I still needed my chair, I wasn't pretending. You don't have to be really mad at him. He was mad because I was keeping him away from you."
"That's not an excuse! You were recovering from a spine surgery! This could have been…" She huffs and Quinn was kind of amused that Rachel is actually mad at him.
"As I said, that night was being horrible so far, but you happened and even if we were actually making out…"
Quinn trails off as looks at Santana suggestively. The Latina laughs hard.
"That was my most incredible line!"
"Yeah, and you didn't win after all."
"Whatever, I blame Berry and her one vote she has been always your fan-girl anyway."
"As I was saying, making out would've been interesting, but I wouldn't change that day, and really, when you started your speech, I got scared of what you could say in that moment, but it was perfect, and I didn't need that crown anymore and you're wrong, I didn't give you my dream because you're my dream."
Rachel blushes a soft shade of pink.
"Your car accident was my worst nightmare Quinn, but it made me see how much you meant to me and how your friendship meant to me." She smiles widely. "The accomplishment I am more proud of." She lifts her girlfriend up to her mouth and kisses it fondly. "when I said those words, I released a breath I was holding since the day I met you, cause I was in front of you and I knew I had a place in your life, a real place, me Rachel Berry, and not because my mom had your baby, but because we were really friends."
Quinn smiles in love.
"We really have this thing with proms." Rachel jokes and Kurt giggles. "It was really destiny, 'cause I could've not known that Finn was going to complain about you. Your car accident was the second time I really faced my feelings for you, but after your speech that day in the auditorium, I started thinking:
That was it, you were going to marry him and stay here and I was going to leave to New York with my best friend and that was it. I would never be part of your life, right? He said he was going to pick up the wrong one. I could have said that it wasn't like that, that us, girls, appreciate the gesture, not the object, but no, I just couldn't shut my mouth."
"You're saying…?" Quinn questions her.
"You know, when you gave me that note, the one you signed as Lucy with that gardenia, I thought for a moment that I was caught."
"What you…?"
"Girls like Quinn … you don't want to do anything that's going to distract from their face, so ask for a gardenia with a light green ribbon wrapped around it to match her eyes. That was what I said to him."
Quinn smiles because the first thing that comes to her mind is: It matches my eyes.
"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry for what I put you through; cause really Quinn all your insults and names? Nothing compares to the fact that you almost died because of me and I was trying to prove something and I sat there trying to compare my love for you, with my love for Finn.
I swear that when you opened your eyes I almost lost it, but your mother was there, as a reminder of the world we lived in. Someday, somewhere, a girl would find her Quinn Fabray and dream about having a family with her and all those things that makes life worth living. Kurt once questioned me if I was hiding my sexuality as I never dated any girl for real. But the truth is that I couldn't. There is no other girl for me Quinn." She wipes her tears and squeezes Quinn's hand. "Yes, all this rambling was to tell you that I'm sorry for not being there, for the time I wasted, for my cowardice, but I would've never imagined, not in a million years, that you could love me back."
Santana laughs and Kurt frowns at her.
"Sorry, I couldn't contain myself."
"And yeah, when I found out about your sexuality I got a little crazy, but I was still Rachel Berry and you were still Quinn Fabray."
Quinn hugs her. She hugs the love of her life as tight as she can, because she won't let her go, ever.
"I really don't want to hide us anymore. I think I still want to be discreet though."
Rachel nibbles down on her bottom lip apprehensively.
"I'm finished." She informs playfully as they remained in silence.
All four release their breaths and she giggles because their faces are priceless.
"My prom was awesome."Brittany says prideful.
"Yes it was." Kurt nods.
"So Quinn Fabray? Do you want to be my girlfriend?"
"I thought I already was." Quinn arches her eyebrow.
"Yeah, but I always wanted to ask." Rachel smiles her big smile.
"Yes I do."
Quinn presses their lips together and soon they are kissing each other passionately.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife, I mean, wife and wife, you may get a room and fuck each other now." Santana teases. "And that's our cue to leave." She adds as they don't pull away from the kiss.
"I agree, let's go." Kurt grimaces.
"Have a good night girls!" Brittany shouts.
"You too B!" Quinn shouts back, and then she turns to Rachel again. "I need you now."
Quinn takes her girlfriend's hand and drags her to her bedroom. When she crosses the door she locks it and Rachel smirks.
"Do you really want to do this here?"
She doesn't answer she grabs Rachel's waist and pulls her into a searing kiss.
"I take that as a yes." Rachel teases.
They kiss again, with urge, and passion and lust, moaning into each other's mouth. They pull away breathless, staring into each other's eyes. Rachel then takes control as she pulls Quinn forward to another kiss, one of her hands slides away from the back of Quinn's head, down to her girlfriend's ass.
As they continue to kiss, Quinn slowly unbuttons Rachel's blouse, exposing her sexy black bra. Rachel gets rid of her blouse quickly and tosses it away, the singer grabs her girlfriend's shirt and takes it off too, but Quinn is not wearing a bra and Rachel soon takes advantage of that.
She cups Quinn's breasts and squeezes them gently at first but insistently after, all the while she leaves a trail of wet kisses on Quinn's neck.
"I missed this." Rachel says.
"Did you?" Quinn inquires, taking her girlfriend to her bed.
"Yeah."
Quinn then gets on top, licking her girlfriend's neck, making her way down to her breasts. She kisses and licks between Rachel's breasts playfully biting, sucking, nipping and licking over the bra, first one nipple and then the other as one of her hands starts its downward journey.
"Oh no…" Rachel shifts their positions. "Tonight I'll make you mine Fabray."
"I'm already yours."
"Let me love you?" She asks sensually and Quinn smiles widely.
"Always."
The singer starts undressing her girlfriend in a very slow pace, stopping sporadically to kiss every inch of that amazing body. When she takes off Quinn's panties, Rachel sees how wet her girlfriend is and she smiles. It is all because of her and for her.
She settles on top of her girlfriend and they kiss again. Their lips locked, mouths open, tongues greedily exploring every inch of each other's mouth, Rachel's teeth biting her girlfriend's lower lip gently, then not gently at all, Quinn moaning, her hands traveling down Rachel's back as she seems to have gone to another world, as Rachel slips her hand to cup her sex.
She lets out a low moan when the singer starts tracing circles on her clit. And she keeps moaning as Rachel teases around her sex, inserting first one, then two fingers into her very wet core. The brunette stops working over Quinn's breasts and starts licking her abs and then she moves farther down as she keeps fucking her girlfriend, in and out.
"Oh fuck! I'm really…Trying... To... Keep... Quiet!"
"No need to, everyone's sleeping. You can be as loud as you want to baby."
As soon as Rachel's lips find her clit, Quinn explodes in pleasure, moaning unabashedly, bucking her hips onto Rachel's mouth and fingers. She is in a trance, twisting, and letting out loud moans.
"Oh Rachel… Mmmm… Oh, Oh fuck…"
Rachel sucks and licks and thrusts her fingers harder into Quinn as the blonde starts shaking and moaning even louder.
Quinn can feel her orgasm getting close.
"Oh Fuck! Oh yeah! I'm gonna…" She screams as she explodes and goes over the edge. "Oh yeah…" She moans as Rachel starts kissing her abs again. "Baby you turned me into a loud bitch… I'm sure the entire neiborhood heard that."
Rachel giggles amused.
"Sorry."
"Well, I'm not sorry."
The brunette starts laughing.
"What?"
"You really didn't notice?"
"What?" Quinn gets curious.
Rachel sits up and Quinn finally notices it.
"You got another tattoo?"
"Yes!" Rachel beams.
"Let me see it…" Quinn demands eagerly.
Rachel's new tattoo is on her left rib, right under her breast. Quinn starts inspecting the tattoo and as soon as she sees what it is, she sighs.
"You…" She trails off and then she presses their lips together in a heated kisses.
"So, did you like it?" Rachel asks as soon as she pulls away from the kiss.
"You're kidding? This is beautiful…" She looks at the tattoo again.
She reads it out loud:
"You can't spell Love without L…"
"That is so fucking sexy." She admits.
"You really liked it uh? What's good because that's the reason why I didn't want to come with you."
Quinn smiles happily.
"I'm going to show you how much I liked it."
"Yes show me baby." Rachel moans playfully.
And she shows her girlfriend how much Lucy liked the tattoo.
All night long.