Disclaimer: I do not own and am not, in any way, affiliated with the Dark Knight franchise.

"This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper."

― T.S. Eliot, "The Hollow Men"

Chapter Seventeen

The sun was just peeking over the horizon when she'd finally worked up the courage to leave the house and the sky had a dusky, gray quality to it. She picked the scarf up off of the floor and tucked it into her pocket. Not wanting to leave Lobelia, she'd found a lead and had dragged them both out onto the street. Her feet had led her to the orphanage without realizing it was her end destination.

She had been standing outside the doors of St. Swithin's for five minutes before Beth showed up. "Aud, are you okay?"

And just like that she'd dissolved into a blubbering mess.

A shocked Beth then guided her around to the back, away from the curious eyes of early risers, and pounded on the door until Father Reilly opened it. He had taken one look and ushered them inside. Audrey let go of Lobelia's leash and the pug took refuge under the desk where she settled with a content snort while Audrey collapsed into an armchair. Something was forced into her hand- a cup? She stared down at it.

"Drink," he commanded. The liquid burned her throat, her mouth forming a mew of distaste. Whiskey. "One more to be safe. There's a good girl." His voice was soothing and her chest felt warm. Color slowly seeped back into the world around her. "Audrey." He crouched down next to her. "Where's your father?"

"Jack," she whispered. Beth paled. "Jack- one of the- Bane's men- he was at the house when I got home and-" her voice hitched. She drained the mug. "He was waiting for me. He wanted to pay me back for what happened and he-" she sniffed, her eyes watering again. She stared into Father Reilly's face. "He killed him. Dad's dead. I just left him there. I-I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't move him."

Beth was on her in an instant, encasing her in a strong hug. Audrey's shoulders tensed and then relaxed as she let herself cry. She heard them talking over her but couldn't make out or bring herself to care about what they were saying. Eventually her sobs subsided to sniffles.

"If you'll excuse me," Father Reilly said, clearing his throat. The light filtering in through the windows hit his face and Audrey could see his eyes were glistening. "The boys will be starting to get out of bed and I have to check on them." He placed a hand on Audrey's shoulder. "I'm sorry, my dear. Alex was a good man."

She averted her gaze to the wall behind him and gave a stiff nod. "Thank you, Father." Beth moved to follow him to the door, promising that she would be out to help when she could.

As soon as the door was shut, Audrey raised herself out of the armchair. Her entire body felt itchy, the room too small, too confining. She wanted to be anywhere but there. For one second she allowed herself to imagine Barsad's arms around her. You know where you want to be, she thought wearily as she moved toward the door.

Beth held an arm out, forcing Audrey to take a step back. "Whoa- where are you going?"

"Come on, you don't expect me to stay here."

"Uh, yes, I do. I want to keep an eye on you. You're clearly in shock and what you need is to sit down for a while."

"And do what, exactly?"

"We're moving forward with the plan today-"

"Jesus- give it a rest! The plan! The plan! The stupid plan that's going to get you all killed. You know that, right? This is basically a suicide mission- you're dead either way." Audrey's voice sounded too loud in her ears and she knew she was being unnecessarily cruel. It was evident by the hard look that had darkened Beth's features. But she couldn't stop herself. It was her only way out. "But you go ahead. Because you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, right? I don't want to be a part of it."

To her credit, Beth handled it like a champ. She flicked her blonde mane over her shoulder and budged not an inch from her position. "Yeah, tough guy? How long you been holding that in, huh? You feel better now that you've let that all out? And where are you going to go?" Her eyes caught the red knitwear in Audrey's jacket pocket and she emphasized the next two sentences carefully. "Listen to me, okay? There's nothing out there for you."

"From where you're standing, I imagine that's very easy for you to say."

Beth threw her hands up in frustration. "You want to run after some- some guy that kidnapped you because what? You're in love with him?" She snorted when Audrey only crossed her arms in front of her chest and said nothing. "Look, it was fun to indulge in all that bullshit romantic stuff when we were drunk, but Audrey this is real. People's lives are on the line. That used to mean something to you. I get it. You want someone to hurt just as badly as you're feeling now, but this is not the Audrey that I know. She would never run away from people who needed her."

Not wanting to admit that she was close to the mark or how much her comments stung, Audrey laughed nastily. "Oh my god! This isn't an after school special. Do you even hear yourself right now? What's my line supposed to be after this, huh? People change, Beth. Is that right? Did I give that enough dramatic emphasis or should I try it again?"

The frustration finally became too much.

"So you're just going to leave everything your dad worked for?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Beth's face became a veil of remorse. "Aud, I'm so sorry."

Audrey, stomach churning sickeningly, looked down. "Get the fuck out of my way."

Beth backed up and Audrey wrenched the door open, more desperate than ever to be out of there.

(-)

It didn't take her long to work out a plan. As she receded further into the broken heart of the city, a vehicle rumbled passed her. She wrapped the scarf around her neck and followed it.

If it couldn't take her directly to Barsad, it would at least be a step in the right direction.

As she got closer to the apparent hub of activity, however, she felt wrong. It was too quiet, like Gotham was holding its breath in anticipation of something significant. Nuclear doom she had thought during a time that felt like decades ago. Another truck rolled by and she had to bite back a scream, nearly jumping out of her skin.

Finally, she rounded a corner and saw a mass of mercenaries crowding the steps of an old government building. Her heart sank a little. How was she supposed to find him in this throng of people? Then she saw Bane at the top of the steps, Barsad hot on his heels.

Unthinking, she ran forward, pushing through the crowd, desperate to get to him and terrified that he would disappear. He had, by the time she got to the entrance, but only inside the building. She stepped forward, but her path was blocked by some man she did not recognize.

"No entry."

"I need to get in-"

"No entry," the man repeated, looking at her like he was seeing through her.

"Look," she began. "I don't have time to argue with you, asshole. I have-" she thought, scrambling to come up with something. "Important information to deliver to Bane."

"No entry. Go join the ranks."

She was saved from further arguing by Barsad. He pushed the door open, giving them both a stern look. "Get inside," he ordered. Audrey floated past the guard and inside. There weren't many people, only the top tier of the operation it seemed.

Barsad led her to a quiet corner and once they were away from all eyes, he pulled her against his body, hugging her fiercely. "I know that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad!" he whispered into her hair, quoting what he had once deemed the most sensational, gormless speech of all time. Then he stepped back, bewilderment apparent as he remembered himself. "Why are you here?"

For the second time that morning, she broke down in silent tears.

This time it was easier to get herself under control, going back into that numb shell she had been constructing and told him, as quickly as she could, what had happened. "I had to find you after that," she concluded.

He was silent, strained, as he digested this information. "That cowardly fuck," he said finally. "No wonder he looked so bloody pleased with himself this morning. Something he mentioned too, but ah, it doesn't matter. I'm sorry about your Dad, Audrey."

"Thank you." She paused. "I'm sorry- I know this was a stupid idea, but-"

"S'alright. You're here now, anyway, damage is already done. Come with me. And I mean it when I tell you to stay put. D'you understand?" He took in her wide, unquestioning eyes and some of the tension went out of him. "I'll come back to you, if I can. That's a promise. I just can't have you mucking about in the middle of everything."

She didn't argue. Instead she followed him to a spot where there was a man standing guard over someone else. The woman, she recognized, was Miranda Tate- Talia- whatever her name was. Who cares? Audrey went where Barsad directed her.

"I want all eyes on both of them," Barsad barked. She flinched at the harshness in his voice, but the man only nodded. He exchanged some words with Talia, it sounded like he was asking for further instruction, but Audrey wasn't listening, only watching. Her eyes followed him as he walked away.

With her back to the outside world, she slumped down along the column she was leaning against. Her thumb automatically went to her mouth, chewing the edges of it. She observed Talia staring unblinkingly out the window. The woman's face was all hard lines and almost reverent eyes as though she were watching her favorite preacher deliver a particularly passionate sermon. The woman's hand fidgeted with something inside her pocket and for just one, brief moment, Audrey caught sight of what looked like a detonator.

Suddenly, the whole thing made sense. It was clear now that Bane was not the one in charge here. Not really.

Time flew after that. The sounds of Bane's orders, gunfire, and men shouting were all she heard. How badly she wanted to stand up, to see what was happening.

But she couldn't bring herself to do it.

Not even when Batman himself flew in, when Bane was lying on the floor in pain, when Talia delivered her impassioned speech, did she move. Of course, she thought with dull detachment, the villain always has to give a speech. So much happened, was said, in that moment that she would never understand: things about revenge plans, about corruption, about faraway places, and people she would never know.

This was bigger than her. Bigger than all of them. Bigger than Gotham itself.

And she found she cared very little for any of it.

Talia held the detonator out.

Audrey closed her eyes and waited for the end.

But it never came.

"The trigger's under attack." It was only when Barsad, run ragged with the events of the outside world, spoke that she stirred from her position. Like a sailor whose tired eyes finally see the shores after months of being at sea, she lit up. He glanced in her direction and firmly shook his head once. Stay put.

And then he was leaving her again, leading Talia out of the building and back into the world.

No, she thought angrily. She did not want to be alone. Not again. Not anymore.

In that moment, she had a choice. She met Bane's eye and something like understanding passed between them.

Audrey ran out onto the steps and watched as Barsad loaded Talia into an armored vehicle. When the shot rang out that she found her voice again. She watched, the world slowing motion, as the bullet hit Barsad's shoulder and he fell off of the side of the truck and to the ground.

"No," she whispered.

A/N: We get closer to the end. Thanks for sticking with me, guys.