A/N: Sorry this update took so long. Thankfully I do not have carpal tunnel or diabetic neuropathy. The doctor says I have tendonitis in my left hand and have to take it easy with the typing. I also had trouble with this chapter. But in-between icing my hand/wrist for thirty minutes every two hours, and 15 minute breaks every hour, I will continue to update both stories. Please bear with me.
Chapter 23
For the next two hours, Rossi, Morgan and JJ sat, waiting, while Prentiss and Reid went to the hospital cafeteria for coffee. So far, nobody had come to tell them about Aaron Hotchner. All they had been told was the Unit Chief had been taken to x-ray to check for damage to the ligaments and cartilage in his damaged knee. From there he would undergo a scrotal ultrasound, and a possible CT scan or MRI on his genitalia. And they weren't handling the wait very well.
"How much longer is it going to be?" JJ asked nobody in particular.
"I have no idea," Morgan replied, seated beside JJ and staring into space, arms on thighs. He rubbed his palms together and shook his head. "Hotch has had to endure a lot of crap, and he's recovered every time. But for the love of God, I have no idea how he's gonna come back from this if worse comes to worse."
"It'll be tough," Rossi agreed. "In fact, it'll be the toughest thing Aaron's ever had to deal with in his life. And for once, I'm not afraid to admit I don't know if this time he can, or what he'll do if he can't." He looked at Morgan. "I mean, it'll take time to recover from the physical injuries, especially the damage to his knee, not to mention the psychological damage done by that bastard. But it's the other injuries that worry me the most."
"I can't stand this waiting any longer," JJ said as she got to her feet. "I'm going to see if I can find out anything." She turned and marched in the direction of the nurse's station at the far end of the hall. The others continued to wait, growing more impatient and worried. Before long, Prentiss and Reid returned. The brunette was carrying a tray on which sat five Styrofoam coffee cups, dozens of packets of sugar, and wooden sticks for stirring.
"Derek!" a familiar voice called out causing the entire team to turn and look. Penelope Garcia, dressed in a bright yellow dress with red and pink roses, her hair in twin ponytails tied with pink ribbons, and red framed glasses came into view. Just behind her was Haley Hotchner, her face streaked with tears. The entire team got to their feet. Garcia ran into and was at once enveloped in Morgan's strong arms. Haley clung to Rossi and buried her face against his chest, gripping his jacket tightly in her fists. Rossi wrapped his arms around her.
"How is he?" asked a tearful Garcia, pulling back and looking up at Morgan.
At that exact moment, JJ rejoined them looking frustrated. "All they would tell me is the doctors will be speaking with us soon."
Morgan took in and let out a deep breath and ran the pads of his thumbs over Garcia's cheeks. He glanced over at Haley and after wrapping an arm around Garcia's shoulders, led her away from the group where they wouldn't be overheard.
"Not good, baby girl." He then repeated what the doctors had told them. Garcia gasped and put her hand to her mouth.
"Poor Hotch. What can we do for him?" she stammered.
Morgan hugged her close to him. "I have no idea, baby girl. No idea whatsoever." He looked over her head at Haley who had pulled away from and was looking up at Rossi.
"Dave, what's happened to Aaron? All Penelope told me was that he was in the hospital. I need to know what's happened to him."
Swallowing hard, Rossi looked at the others, his eyes stating what he wanted which was understood. "Emily, see if you can find Doctors Fleming and Betters. Tell them Mrs. Hotchner is here." Prentiss sat the tray down on a wooden table, nodded, and hurried down the hall. The others moved away to give the duo privacy. Meanwhile, Rossi guided Haley to a seat, and sat beside her. He took one of her hands in both of his larger ones. "Haley, I can tell you what we've been told, or you can have the doctors explain everything. It's your decision."
"Tell me what happened to Aaron. Why is he in the hospital?"
Rossi explained Hotch's injuries. As he explained, as delicately as possible, the injuries to the genitalia, Haley burst into a fresh batch of tears.
"Oh my God!" she cried covering her mouth with a free hand. "How did this happen?" she asked when she had composed herself a bit. "Who did this to him?"
Rossi started to open his mouth and explain when he saw Emily returning. The brunette woman looked at both of them. "I spoke with someone at the nurse's station. Dr. Fleming and Dr. Betters are still with Hotch. He's been moved to a room. They've already put him in a medically induced coma, and are now inserting the catheter. Once that's done, one or both doctors will come out and speak to all of us."
Haley looked again at Rossi. "Who did this to Aaron?" she asked again. "Please tell me."
Rossi sighed. "Haley, it was Jason Armitage." He watched the woman for her reaction to the information, and didn't have long to wait. A flash of anger appeared in Haley's eyes. She recognized the name.
"Isn't he the same bastard who attacked Aaron years ago and disfigured him?"
Rossi nodded. "The same. But he won't be after Aaron again. He's dead."
Haley took several minutes to digest this new information. Finally, a smile appeared on her face. "Good. I'm glad," she uttered. "Now he can never hurt Aaron again."
Rossi was about to respond when he noticed Dr. Fleming approaching from the end of the hall. He gestured with his head causing Haley to turn. She spotted the older woman and quickly got to her feet along with Rossi. She gripped his hand tightly in hers.
"Mrs. Hotchner?"
"I'm Mrs. Hotchner. How is my husband?"
Dr. Fleming glanced at the group before focusing on the wife of her patient. "Mrs. Hotchner, now that you've arrived, wouldn't you prefer to discuss this…"
Haley's eyes narrowed. "Whatever you and Dr. Betters have to say, it can be discussed in front of my husband's team." The others gathered around Haley and Rossi.
"I understand." She glanced at Rossi again and then Haley. "How much have you been told so far?"
"Everything," Haley said. "What's happened to Aaron since then?"
Fleming let out a deep breath. "Then I won't bother repeating that information. Given the seriousness of your husband's condition, we've moved him to the ICU where he'll stay for two weeks and be monitored by both Dr. Betters and myself. Agent Hotchner was given thiopental to put him in a medically induced coma. Dr. Betters is now installing the catheter. He will be out to talk with you once he's done."
"Can I see Aaron?"
Fleming swallowed. "Once we have everything set up involving your husband, somebody will come and get you, so you can visit for a few minutes. Do you have any questions for me?"
Haley swallowed the building lump in her throat over all the information she had been overwhelmed with about her husband. She licked her lips, hesitant to ask her question and afraid of the answer she would receive. "What are the chances of my husband regaining full use of his uh…sexual organs over time?"
Dr. Fleming let out a deep breath. "Mrs. Hotchner, are you sure you want to discuss this in front of other people."
"Just answer the question, please. What are his chances?"
"I won't lie to you, Mrs. Hotchner. An x-ray of your husband's left knee showed bruising to both the ligaments and cartilage. Besides his left knee, your husband suffered serious injuries to his genitalia. There's a possibility he might never regain use of that part of his body. There's just no way to know."
A gasp from Garcia interrupted the doctor's explanation. Her mouth formed a perfect 'O' at hearing of her boss's most serious injuries.
"Fortunately, the scrotal ultrasound and the MRI of that area showed no fractures or dislocations. Dr. Betters is the best urologist on staff. After the catheter has been installed, he will speak with you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to return to your husband's room. I'm sorry I don't have better news for you."
Haley pursed her lips. This was all too much for her to absorb. Added to that the fact that her husband may never be a fully functional man again, cut through her like a knife. But if Hotch never regained full use, she would continue to love him as much as she did now. She would also never let him forget that despite the loss of the physical part, that wasn't going to change. "Thank you," she stammered.
Smiling, Fleming nodded, turned, and walked away. Haley then turned back toward Rossi and clung to him, letting herself cry again. He engulfed her body again in his strong arms and held her close as his own eyes became moist. His own mind raced as it tried to think of how he might help his best friend if the worse should happen. Rossi had experience in dealing with a lot of things, but not with this. But he would be there to help Aaron cope with what he hoped was a temporary loss.
Morgan felt Garcia lean against him and grip his shirt tightly. He hugged her close. "It's gonna be okay, baby girl," he told her.
"How can it be, Derek?" Penelope asked looking up at him with moist eyes. "I mean…suppose Hotch…that is, what if he…" she struggled to find the words and found herself at a loss.
Morgan sensed her inability. He looked down at her and offered a small smile. "Hotch will come back from this. It's just gonna take time. Perhaps a lot of time. We just have to be there for him more than ever."
Garcia considered Morgan's words. She wiped her cheeks with the pads of her fingers of one hand. "Of course we will, stud muffin." She gasped as she realized the term she had used and felt horrible. "I'm sorry. I should make sure I don't use that term anymore especially around Hotch." She let out a deep breath. "I just wish I knew how to be there for him. I mean, it's not like he suffered a gunshot injury or…or a knife wound. This is an injury to his…you know. How are we suppose to help him?"
Morgan let out a deep breath and held her close again. "Let's just wait and see, Garcia. I know it's hard, but let's try to not think the worse right now."
Reid stuffed both hands in the pockets of his corduroy pants and found himself staring at his shoes. Right now he had compassion and sympathy for his boss and friend. He thought of Hotch as more of a father figure after Gideon left. He wanted to help him any way he could, but for once his brain couldn't figure out how. But he would be there for him regardless. Reid can quote the statistics of men who recovered from the injury Hotch suffered to the genitalia, and it wasn't good nor promising. He also can quote the statistics of men who took their own lives because of said injury. He looked up and blinked back the gathering moisture in his hazel eyes. Hotch was so alpha Reid feared his boss wouldn't be able to handle this devastating loss if conditions remained as they were. But he promised himself he wouldn't let Hotch become another statistic of the group of men who took their own lives. He couldn't handle losing another person he cared about and was important to him. He just couldn't.
Emily and JJ exchanged looks. As women, they sympathized with Haley, especially JJ as she was married. But because they cared about Aaron Hotchner not only as their boss, but as their friend, their hearts went out to him. Especially if what Doctor Fleming had told them held true, and Hotch's condition became permanent. They would be there for him without a doubt. But as women, they would also be there for Haley. JJ was positive her husband Will would be there for Hotch as well. The blond glanced at the brunette as she wiped at her eyes and noticed Emily blinking back tears, and understood she was trying to compartmentalize. "It's going to be all right, Em," she said. "Hotch will get through this."
"Will he?" Prentiss asked softly so the others wouldn't overhear. "How would Will handle it if this happened to him? How would any man?"
JJ thought about it for a few seconds before she answered. "Will would not be able to handle something like this very well. But in my heart I would make sure he knew I still loved and wanted him. And that I found him desirable. And for an alpha male like Hotch, this loss, if permanent, will devastate him, Em."
Emily smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away and looked at the blond. "Then we'll just have to make sure he knows we don't think any less of him, and that he knows we still think of him as an alpha. Every day if we need to, JJ."
JJ nodded. "For a man like Hotch, convincing him won't be easy. He'll fight us every step of the way and tell us we're wrong."
"I know," JJ replied wiping her cheek. "Haley won't have an easy time of it either."
"And we'll be there for her as well and help them both get through this."
Rossi, who had continued holding Haley Hotchner close, released her and gestured with his head as he saw Doctor Betters approaching. Haley, looking up at her husband's best friend, saw the motion and turned. She wiped her cheeks as she waited for Dr. Betters to reach them.
"Mrs. Hotchner? I'm Doctor Simon Betters." He looked at the woman and the others gathered around her. He had spoken with Doctor Fleming. "I'm the urologist assigned to your husband's case."
Haley shook her head and wiped her cheeks again. "How is my husband? When can I see him?"
Betters folded his arms across his chest and looked at the gathering in front of him. He understood he had to choose his words carefully. "First let me say that your husband has been placed in a medically induced coma and as Dr. Fleming probably told you, will stay in for two weeks. A catheter has been inserted, and a urine bag attached. Your husband has been put on strong antibiotics to prevent infection, and pain medication. He is also being given IV fluids. We have inserted a feeding tube so he can receive nourishment. In addition, he is hooked up to a lot of machines to check his vitals and to help him breathe. I understand Dr. Fleming explained the results of the scrotal ultrasound and MRI to you, so I won't repeat the results. What I'm mainly concerned about are the second degree burns to his genitalia and the direct tissue damage. I am hoping the antibiotic ointment will do the job. If it doesn't, I'll have to perform surgery to remove all the dead tissue." Betters sensed Haley's next question. "I can't tell you right now whether your husband will regain full use of his sexual organs. He may or may not. But right now he has no sensation in that area. There's also the possibility he may never regain full use, and might end up wearing a catheter for the rest of his life. Only time will tell. We should know more after the two weeks."
Haley rubbed both sides of her temples. She had a pounding headache. "What can be done if Aaron doesn't recover full use?"
Betters let out a deep breath. He didn't want to sound like a messenger of doom, but he didn't want to frighten the woman any more than she apparently already was. "Let's just cross that bridge if we get to it," he said allowing a small smile to appear. "I'd rather not speculate this early. Now, as far as seeing your husband, Dr. Fleming and myself are going to allow visitors, but only two at a time, and for only twenty minutes."
Haley looked at Rossi and the others. The older man smiled. "You go ahead, Haley. You're his wife and should be there with him. We'll visit him later this evening."
Haley smiled at Rossi then turned back to Betters. "I'm ready," she said nervously.