The Tin Man Theory

by SRAM

This is a story involving Leonard and Howard that ends up involving Penny and Bernadette. There is violence and death in the story, so be forewarned. Howard and Leonards actions end up changing their lives forever.

9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 - The Separation

Penny didn't see Leonard all weekend, not because she didn't want to, she went over to his and Sheldon's apartment each day, but each time Sheldon told her that he was getting better and didn't want to be disturbed. She sent text messages to him, but he never responded and when she used that to ask Sheldon if he was okay, Sheldon showed her his phone was on his desk and told her, he never saw them to respond. Penny had not felt this lonely, since Leonard went to the North Pole, and each night her bed felt cold and uninviting. The only thing that kept her from fixating about the situation all weekend was that she had to work both Saturday and Sunday, and being busy allowed her to not think so intensely about him.

-TIN MAN-

Leonard wasn't sick anymore, when Monday rolled around, but he was a little surprised his pants seemed so big when he got dressed. He was drinking fluids, but he had no idea that his reduced appetite would result in so much weight loss and he promised himself he would try to eat more this week. Sheldon finally seemed to understand Leonard didn't want to talk on the drive to work and he welcomed the silence now each morning with Sheldon. Sheldon also didn't ask him about going home with him, in the evening anymore, and got his owns rides home every evening. One the benefits of all this was Sheldon was getting more and more dependent on Amy, which Leonard thought was good, because he would need her after Leonard was locked up.

Howard was still watching Leonard, he had tried to talk to him again, last week, and Leonard had yelled at him, so now he just resigned himself to watch him to make sure that Leonard didn't hurt himself. Leonard hadn't seemed to get any worse, but also he hadn't seemed to get any better and Howard didn't know what to do, there was no one they could go to. He knew Bernadette knew something was up, but she never pressed him, so he stayed every night until Leonard left, and worked on Tin Man, fixing the previous damage, correcting weak areas and improving the suit just to keep busy and make the time go by. He had fixed any damage from the Cheesecake Factory event and was now just doing things to enhance the suit, like now putting in a video camera system that would allow the user to have infrared capability. Doing all this work on the suit kept Howard sane, because his worrying about Leonard, concern about what may happen with Bernadette, if his involvement came out, and his own future weighted heavily on him too.

Leonard was now able to work again, to keep his mind on something other than what happened that night, so he started to make progress on the report. He found it was easier, to just snack at his desk, than to try and force himself to eat meals, so he did this and found he didn't loose any more weight, but didn't gain any back either. He was getting use to being alone, and felt that was for the best, because he would be alone for years in jail. The hardest part was knowing he would never see Penny again, never hold her or feel her kiss him.

Penny had worked long shifts to closing on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday but she was barely doing her job, she was depressed. All three days she worked the afternoon to closing shifts, which meant she wasn't home in the evening, when she normally saw Leonard, so she couldn't talk to him about what was happening between them. That bothered her, but what even concerned her more, was that she knew he was back to work and he hadn't even tried to contact her. That was not like Leonard, it was very unusual for him, it was something a person did when they broke up with you and it was seeming more and more to Penny that was what was happening between them.

Penny moped around and worked her job on auto pilot, all day Wednesday, her heart was not in it. That evening she worked a bar shift and it was so slow, she ended up just wiping the bar and thinking about Leonard, she couldn't understand what was going on, why wouldn't he talk to her, even just to tell her he was breaking up with her. That evening, after she got home, she decided to confront him, so since she had to get up early anyway for work, she set her alarm clock to catch him before he went to work. Penny actually went to bed, and slept a little better knowing she would confront him tomorrow morning.

Thursday morning Penny was up quickly after her alarm went off, she was nervous but she needed to see him, she had to talk to him. She brushed her hair, got her robe on and grabbed her coffee cup, it was going to be her excuse to go over there. Penny then crossed the hall and walked right in, she didn't want him to try and avoid her, "Hey guys, I'm out of coffee so I thought…" Penny stopped in her tracks, staring at Raj and Sheldon, who were now looking at her. "Where's Leonard?" was all that came out of her mouth next.

"He didn't come home again last night, so Raj is taking me to work. What are you doing up so early." Sheldon looked at her confused.

"Um…I was out of coffee and thought you might have some." Penny lied.

"No, since Leonard is not here to make it and I don't drink that caffeine filled drug, we don't have any made."

"Okay, thank you." Penny turned and practically ran out of the apartment to hers.

Raj looked at Sheldon, "What is she upset about?"

"Who knows, I tried tracking her menstrual cycle, but found she gets unpredictable even when she is not on it. It's getting late, let's go."

Penny needed the girls, she had to talk to someone about Leonard, so no sooner than she got back to her apartment she sent a text to both of them begging them to come over that night for a girls night. She was hoping that they knew what was wrong concerning him and what she did, she also thought they might know why he wouldn't talk to her. She couldn't help thinking that she did something horribly wrong, she knew she rejected him after everything first happened at the Cheesecake Factory, and as she thought, she remembered how she had done that many times before. Penny put her head in her hands, it seemed that she was always the screw up in their relationship anymore. She was the one with the indecision, the doubts, the one that was always causing conflict and the one who was always pushing him away. Leonard was the stable one, he knew what he wanted, he wanted to be with her, he had no doubt he loved her and he never pushed away until now. The only answer she had was that he had enough of her and was now done with her.

-TIN MAN-

She waited impatiently, after her morning shift Thursday, for the girls to come over and was just sitting there with a glass of wine trying to feel something other than dread. She missed him and didn't want to loose him, but she also didn't know what to do anymore.

The more Penny waited alone the more her thoughts ate at her, she was working herself into a seriously depressed state. She kept asking herself 'Why', and the problem was she kept finding reasons why, Penny had taken him for granted and now it was late to correct that. Penny was relieved, when she heard the knocks on the door, and finally felt a little comfort when the girls were finally sitting down, with glasses of wine, so she could talk to them.

"Amy, Bernadette, I really need help, do you know what is going on with Leonard? Is he okay? Has he said anything?"

Amy and Bernadette looked at each other, confused. "Penny I haven't seen him since the last time we talked, almost three weeks now. Haven't you seen him?" Amy was the first to respond.

Bernadette then spoke up. "Penny I still haven't seen him since the night you went through that ordeal."

Penny was so disappointed at their responses, her stomach hurt. "Bernadette has Howard said anything? Amy how about Sheldon?"

Amy spoke up first again. "The only thing Sheldon said was the first day I drove him home from work, he said Leonard was not living up to the room mate agreement and he would have to deal with him. Since then he has never mentioned him."

"I asked Howard about him, but Howard said he really hasn't seen him, that's all. Penny what is going on?"

"I don't know." Penny was even more confused and was trying to think of something as she stared at her glass of wine. Amy and Bernadette gave each other worried looks as they watched their friend who was in obvious despair.

"Penny did something happen. Did you guys break up?" Bernadette softly asked her.

"I don't really know." Penny responded quietly. "I haven't talked to him since Friday and then he told me to leave him alone." Penny sighed heavy. "He was sick last week and when I tried to take care of him, he told me to go away. And I think he is better, but he doesn't seem to want to see me. I don't know what is going on. Why is he doing this? Why is he doing this to me….. Why…. can't he see I love him." Penny went quiet again, staring at her glass.

Bernadette and Amy were staring at Penny, in disbelief, shocked at what she had just said. Amy again spoke first, asking the question they were both thinking, "Penny you love Leonard?"

Penny felt horrible, she was hoping her friends knew something, but their answers had just made her feel worse. She looked at Amy and she really didn't know what to say, so she just repeated herself. "Yes…..I love him."

Bernadette then jumped in. "Penny, you never said that before. The last time we really talked to you about this all, you weren't sure of your relationship with him."

Penny shook her head, "I…..I was confused, but everything worked out. We were doing so much better, really great, to be honest." Penny shook her head again, "Now I don't know what is going on, Bernadette… he won't talk to me. I'm thinking he has dumped me…..doesn't want me anymore, but how can I be sure if he doesn't tell me what is going on?"

Amy had sent a text to Sheldon and had just got a response, which made her frown, "Sheldon said he is working late again tonight, sorry."

Penny just looked at her. "That has been the story all week. Leonard doesn't act like this, this is so different for him. What am I suppose to think…..I don't really know, but it feels like he broke up with me."

"Penny you don't know that, Leonard is not just going to stop seeing you and not say anything."

"I don't know Bernadette, I just don't know. I sent him a couple texts over the weekend he was sick, but he never responded, and Sheldon, said he didn't have or want his phone."

"Did you send him anything today?"

"No, I wanted to find out if you guys had heard anything." Penny's voice got quieter, "I was also a little scared too. I don't want to text him and him tell me we are through." her voice was now cracking a little as she talked.

Bernadette looked at Amy, and Amy got the hint. "Penny, Leonard will not break up with you with at text, you know that. Just send him something casual."

Penny slowly nodded, she didn't have a clue what to do, so Amy's idea was at least something. "Okay Amy." Penny fumbled with her phone and thought for a couple seconds, trying to calm herself, before she typed

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN FEELING. HAVEN'T SEEN YOU. ARE YOU BETTER?

She sighed again, then showed the girls the phone. "Is this casual enough?" The girls nodded, so Penny hit send.

Leonard was sitting at his desk, when his phone vibrated, so he picked it up and read Penny's text message. She was just asking him how he was, but it still bothered him, he wanted her to break off all contact with him. It was bad enough that people knew who he was, where she worked, and he showed up in that suit to make her safe, he needed to try and make sure they didn't link her to him. He didn't want the authorities to see she was contacting him the whole time, they would think she was some how involved, he had to protect her. Leonard couldn't make this text go away but he needed to send her a text that would look like he wasn't that closely linked to her. If they didn't know they were boyfriend and girlfriend, things should be fine, it wasn't like they would assume a beautiful girl like her would be with him, nobody ever did.

I KNOW I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR A LONG WHILE, I AM FINE. I HAVE BEEN VERY BUSY, BUT THANKS FOR ASKING. I'LL PROBABLY BE BUSY FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS. TAKE CARE.

Leonard reread the text, and he thought anyone who read it later, would think him and Penny where people who knew each other, but were not close and had not seen each other for a while. Satisfied he hit send.

Penny smiled, for the first time that day, when she hear her phone's text notification chime. Maybe the girls were right and she had overreacted, she quickly picked it up so the girls could see and after she read his text, she felt worse. She thought 'A few months', what does he mean by than, boyfriends and girlfriends that live across the hall from each other don't see each other in a few months, unless he now didn't consider her his girlfriend. Penny looked at Amy and Bernadette, she didn't like what she saw, they both had confused expressions on their faces, like she felt.

She still had no idea what was going on. "Guys please tell me you know what he means?"

Bernadette and Amy looked at each other, then her, neither of them had a clue.

-TIN MAN-

It was midnight when Bernadette finally got home and confronted Howard. "Howie do you know what I did all night?"

"No Honey, what?"

"I spent the whole night trying to get a very upset Penny to calm down. You know why she was upset?"

Howard didn't like where this was going, Bernadette wasn't happy at all, "No."

"Because her boyfriend is acting weird and doesn't seem to want to be with her. Howard, what the hell is wrong with Leonard?"

Howard looked at his wife and thought, 'Well honey, Leonard saved Penny's life and killed a man to do it, and is thinking he will probably go to jail, so he is still trying to keep her and me safe by distancing himself from everyone', however he said, "Honey, I don't know. I haven't seen him or talked to him in almost 3 weeks. I know he is working a project for Dr Hogan, you know the guy that had the heart attack, maybe he is working on that trying to do a two man job by himself." he lied. If the truth ever came out, and she found out he was involved, Bernadette was going to kill him. Howard had only gotten home an hour before Bernadette, he left Leonard asleep in his office, obviously he was not going back to his apartment that night. Howard would have stayed the night too, but he couldn't figure a way to explain it to Bernadette.

-TIN MAN-

Penny sat in her apartment, after the girls left, just plain feeling bad and helpless, she had felt a little better when the girls were there, but now, alone again, the same thoughts crossed her mind. It really felt like she would never see him again and that was breaking her heart, she felt terribly alone, she really did love him, she honestly knew that now. Her worst fears were coming true, she had someone she loved deeply and now she was loosing him, and she had no one to blame but herself. The text he sent only made things worse, she had to communicate with him, tell him how she felt, but her trying to call him or text him was doing no good, she just wanted a way to get through to him, when she noticed her laptop on the coffee table. Penny quickly grabbed it and turned it on, then opened her email account and hit the write button, she had tell him how she felt.

LEONARD

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPENING BETWEEN US, I REALLY DON'T. IT IS REALLY HARD TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING, WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING. PLEASE TALK TO ME AND TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG. I KNOW THINGS HAVE BEEN HARD BETWEEN US BEFORE, BUT I AT LEAST KNEW WHAT WAS WRONG. I JUST NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS WRONG. PLEASE LEONARD STOP AVOIDING ME AND JUST TALK TO ME AND EXPLAIN IT TO ME. I KNOW I AM NOT AS SMART AS YOU, BUT I THINK I WILL UNDERSTAND IF YOU TELL ME.

I REALLY CAN'T BE OKAY IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG OR WHAT I DID?

PLEASE SWEETIE DON'T SHUT ME OUT. PLEASE LET'S TALK, OK.

PENNY

Penny hit send and watched the email go out, she felt a tiny bit better, so she got a bottle of water and sat on her couch thinking, her mind going back to her laptop. She thought, 'He had to respond to that, right? He wouldn't just ignore her request, would he?' The more she stared at it the more she felt she had to tell him more, so she picked it up again and started typing.

HONEY

PLEASE COME AND TALK TO ME, I MISS YOU HONEY. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW EMPTY IT IS WITHOUT YOU. PLEASE COME BACK TO ME. PLEASE UNDERSTAND IF IT WAS BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED A FEW WEEKS AGO, I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU. I KNOW WHAT EVER THE PROBLEM IS WE CAN FIX IT. HONEY, I NEED YOU IN MY LIFE.

YOUR PENNY

Penny hit send again and put the laptop back on the coffee table, then stood up to get ready for bed. She got her pajamas on, turned out the light, and got into bed, her emotions getting the better of her, her eyes now wet. She knew she had got better from the event 3 weeks ago, but there was still one thing in her life she so needed to make her life normal again, it was her Leonard, she needed him there holding her and making her feel safe. She just couldn't imagine her life anymore without him, if she didn't have him anymore, she would always wonder what her life would have been with him. No matter who she was with, she would always think about him and what their life could be together, she really didn't want anyone else. Leonard was one of a kind, she knew that now, men like Leonard were special, and every girl that really knew him either liked him or wanted him. Men like she knew before Leonard, were a dime a dozen, she just couldn't loose Leonard. The thought of never having what she had with him again was just too much, so she got out of bed and went to her laptop again, she started typing, she felt like if she didn't do something drastic she would completely loose him, so she let her heart now tell her what to type.

HONEY

I KNOW THIS IS A STUPID WAY TO DO IT BUT RIGHT NOW I DON'T KNOW ANYWAY ELSE TO TELL YOU.

I LOVE YOU LEONARD

PLEASE HONEY, YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME. I LOVE YOU TOO. I'M SORRY, I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU LONG BEFORE, BUT BELIEVE ME IT IS TRUE. PLEASE CONTACT ME, PLEASE COME BACK TO ME.

LOVE PENNY

Penny stared at the email a few seconds, then hit send, she felt a little better and she had no regrets. She just hoped he still loved her, because he now had her heart in his hands.

-TIN MAN-

Leonard sat as his desk, Friday morning, looking at his laptop, he hadn't moved for the last hour, reading and re-reading her short emails. 'Why, why now.' he thought, she was telling him she loved him and wanted him, no needed him, this couldn't be happening now, it was the worst time in his life to happen. He didn't know what to do, how could he explain to her that it wouldn't work, not anymore, things were too screwed up to fix, it was too late. The emotional pain he was feeling was as bad as when they first broke up, she loved him and he couldn't be with her anymore, he put his head in his hands, it just wasn't fair.

Howard made his way to Leonard's office, between his wife and how Leonard was acting, he had to talk to him, things seemed just to be spiraling out of control. He didn't know what exactly to say, but he was not going to let Leonard intimidate him this time, he had even prepared himself to be punched, this was important and he decided he could take a punch from Leonard if it made things better. He wasn't surprised to find Leonard's door locked, when he arrived, he knocked as hard as he could, he was coming in one way or another.

"I'm busy." Howard expected that from him.

"Leonard, it's Howard, let me in." What Howard was not expecting was hearing some movement inside and then the door unlocking.

Leonard opened the door and looked at him, "Come in." Leonard then sat back down at his desk and put his head back in his hands.

Howard was a little surprised, Leonard still seemed really down, more than before, but now also suddenly very docile, what as going on. "Leonard, we need to talk about things and Bernadette wants me talk to you about Penny."

At the sound of 'Penny', Leonard took his head out of his hands and looked at Howard, his expression strained. "I need to talk to someone about Penny too, Howard. Please come here at look at this."

No sooner as Howard moved behind Leonard and looked at the short emails, he understood the pain his friend must be now going through, however Howard didn't know what to tell him to help. "I'm sorry, Leonard."