Chapter Three

Ranma couldn't shake the dream from his mind, he thought irritably as he walked down the stairs. It was as fresh as a memory that had occured only seconds ago and Ranma, to his great dismay, had a very good memory. He tried to put his mind on other concerning matters, like what he should make for breakfast.

Suddenly, he heard a window-shattering scream, which scared so many wits out of him he very nearly fell down the stairs. His foot lost it's hold and he slipped, yelping in surprise and snatching the railing with both hands to keep from tumbling painfully down the wooden stairs. His head shot up to the sound of the front door snapping open and Akane barrelling inside, her eyes wide.

"What the heck are ya screamin' about?" Ranma blurted in exasperation, pulling himself up onto his feet again.

Akane's whole body was trembling. "Y-you have mail," she squeaked.

Ranma put his hands on his hips, and raised a brow inquisitively. "Oh, really? That so? I've got mail, you say? Please, Akane, tell me what the heck is so darn shocking about me gettin' mail that you've gotta wake all of freakin' Tokyo with yer screamin', huh?"

Akane held up a piece of paper in her hand, which was shaking so badly Ranma could see from where he stood on the stairs. Ranma squinted, and saw that what she held was a small envelope. Ranma came down the rest of the stairs and strode up to Akane, taking the envelope from her trembling fingers. Examining the envelope, he found that it was already torn open. He walked over into the dining room, pulling a peice of folded paper out of the envelope.

The words were written in bright green ink.

Ranma,

I miss you.

Yours,

Ryoga

"What does this mean, Ranma?" Akane cried, causing Ranma to jump.

"I..." Ranma began.

"Is this some sort of horrible joke?" Akane snapped, suddenly turning appalled and furious. "Who would send...who would send that to you? Who would do such a wretched thing? H-he's been gone for four whole years and this...this monster sends this as some sort of sick, heartless-"

"Akane," Ranma said loudly, breaking off her tangent. "Ryoga is alive."

Akane eyes bulged. "What?" she exclaimed.

Ranma took a deep breath. "Ryoga is alive. He...he came here yesterday, while you were out shopping." Ranma said, as calmly as he could muster. It was hard enough saying his name after that dream he'd had the other night.

"He's alive?" Akane whispered.

Ranma nodded.

Akane opened her mouth to say more, but Ranma suddenly walked past her and out of the room. Stunned, she whirled around and caught sight of him making his way up the staircase. She hurried out of the dining room to the foot of the stairs, just as Ranma's retreating form disappeared out of sight.

"Ranma!" she called, but he did not reply, nor did he come back. Akane's shoulders slumped, and she sighed audibly.

This explained Ranma's strange behaviour last night, she thought. Sure, it certainly wasn't rare for the prude to run away from her romantic advances, but then he'd gone and slept in the guest room. Akane's brows furrowed in concern, but she walked into the kitchen to fix up breakfast, deciding to leave him alone, for now.

Ranma was breathless when he'd reached the guest bedroom, even though he'd walked slowly. His back pressed against the shoji door, his hand over his racing heart, praying it would slow down because it raced so fast it bordered on painful. He suddenly growled in anger, clenching his teeth together, and stormed over to the dresser. He wrenched open an empty drawer and shoved the letter inside. He was about to slam it back shut when something caught his eye. The drawer wasn't empty after all.

There was another piece of paper, stained slightly green, water-damaged, and crumpled and wrinkled like aged skin. Curious, Ranma took the paper out of the drawer, and flipped it over. On the other side, there were smudges of faded black ink where words used to be, now unreadable. In fact, the whole page was absolutely impossible to decipher, all except the last few lines. They were rather smudged, but the words were legible.

I miss you.

Ryoga

Ranma sucked in a sharp breath, and practically threw the wrinkled paper back in the drawer and slammed in shut. He spun around and started to pace the room, his mind whirling. The burning sensation returned and it was if a wall in his mind crumbled down and behind it revealed many, many things kept dammed inside.

It had turned into something of a routine.

Ranma would sit in the kitchen at the island, drumming his fingers on the table top, a cup of tea beside him. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Around midnight each night, he'd give up and retire to bed, a little more disappointed with each night that passed.

It had been exactly three weeks, and even Ranma was starting to admit to himself he was getting worried. Sure, he'd been gone much longer than this many times before. That didn't make much of a difference however.

"Come on, stupid..." Ranma muttered to himself.

The kitchen was completely silent. Ranma glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. It was almost one in the morning, and his eyes were heavy with lack of sleep. He decided it was once again futile, and got up and made his way out of the kitchen, his cup of tea forgotten.

He made his way up the stairs, his body heavy from more than just exhaustion. He reached their bedroom, opening the door and stepping inside. Just as he was about to shut the door behind him, he heard a noise. He perked up, but tried hard not to get his hopes up too high. It could just be the house settling. Yeah, that was it. Just the house.

There were more noises, and as Ranma listened further, he heard that they came from downstairs. Caution be damned, Ranma flew out the bedroom and down the stairs. To his heart's great relief, there stood Ryoga, a travel pack on his shoulders. He was disheveled, and that was putting it nicely. He was covered head to toe in filth, dirt, and grime. There were even leaves and brambles stuck in his brown hair, which was tangled in clumps. From what bare skin he could see, he was covered in scratches, some minor, some fresh and bleeding slightly.

To sum it all up, Ryoga looked like a disgusting ball of wet hair in a shower drain. Though others would have scrunched up their noses and demanded the filthy boy take a well-needed shower and stayed ten feet away, Ranma had no problem running over and throwing himself at Ryoga with such impact he nearly brought both of them to the ground had it not been for Ryoga's strength.

"Sorry I'm late," Ryoga said sheepishly. "did I miss supper?"

"You idiot...!" Ranma sighed, kissing him deeply. Ryoga returned the kiss with enthusiasm, but looked clearly baffled when Ranma pulled away.

"I should, er...probably get a shower, no?" Ryoga said with a nervous chuckle.

Ranma wasn't paying any attention. He kissed Ryoga's dirty cheeks, down over his jaw, along his neck. He roughly pulled down the collar of Ryoga's shirt as much as he could and kissed the skin there. He wrapped his arms around Ryoga's neck, kissing him longingly on the lips. Ryoga groaned, obviously very torn.

"Ranma..." he sighed. "It's barely been a minute, and I've already covered you in dirt." He wiped a smudge of dirt off of Ranma's cheek.

"So?" Ranma replied simply, continuing his barrage of kisses.

"I'm not implicating in any way that you should stop. All I'm saying is that we can continue this after I've gotten a shower." Ryoga explained, with difficulty as Ranma nibbled on his ear gently.

He heard Ranma laugh lightly. Ranma placed his hands on Ryoga's shoulders, sliding the straps of his pack off. The bag fell loudly to the floor. Ranma turned Ryoga around, and pressed his palms onto his chest, pushing him backwards into the living room. He had a coy little smile on his face that sent Ryoga's heart into a frantic flutter, and thousands of butterflies promptly had nosebleeds in his stomach.

Kissing him with hunger, Ranma grabbed his shirt and yanked it over Ryoga's head. Pulling away briefly, Ranma examined Ryoga's exposed chest, running his fingers lightly over the small scratches and bruises. He pushed Ryoga back further until Ryoga stumbled backward and landed on the small couch. Ranma straddled him, running his hands up his chest, over his shoulders, then up to grip his tangled hair. He yanked it gently, pulling Ryoga's head back. He brought his mouth down on his again, kissing him with a frantic desperation yet slow gentleness.

Ranma pulled away softly, and Ryoga's eyes fluttered open and gazed upon Ranma's flushed face, his eyes shimmering with affection and mirth, the corner of his mouth pulled up in a mischievous smirk.

"We can both get clean when we're done." Ranma whispered.

He pushed them down onto the couch, and quickly made up for two weeks of seperation. The other week was made up in the shower afterwards.

Ranma stood in the middle of the room, motionless and silent. His eyes wide, and his cheeks flushed deep pink. His mouth hung slightly open, and when he recollected himself he noticed his breathing was ragged. He clamped his hand over his mouth, shutting his eyes tightly. He shook his head, as if willing the red on his face to fade away at the action.

What the hell was that! Did I just have a fantasy about RYOGA?

No, you dumbass. That was a memory.

W-was not!

Was too. You remember it as clear as day. You were married for almost a year, and Ryoga had gotten himself lost again. He'd been gone three weeks, you were getting worried about him. Then, when he finally made it home, you were so relieved that...

Aaaargh! I know, I saw it!

"Dammit!" Ranma snapped, running his fingers through his hair angrily. He stormed out of the room and down to the kitchen, where he smelled something burning. There was a pot in the sink, still smoking, with some...something-or-other on it. Akane sat at the island, looking forlorn, eating a bowl of cereal. She'd messed up on breakfast again, he surmised.

Ranma went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. Akane chewed quietly, silently watching him as he unscrewed the cap and took a swig. He seemed tense, and for some reason his face was tinted red. Akane took a deep breath and summoned up her courage.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Akane asked suddenly.

"What?" Ranma asked.

"You didn't tell me Ryoga was alive, or that he came over here yesterday. Why? I'm your wife, Ranma, you should tell me these sorts of things." Akane said quietly.

Ranma grunted, shrugging. "Never seemed like the right moment."

Akane looked at him and frowned. "What's that supposed to mean? There doesn't need to be a right moment, you just have to tell me. Hell, it would have been a lot nicer to have heard it from you before I got that mail today. Do you have any idea how much that scared me?"

"Whatever, it doesn't matter if I told you or not. Ya know now, so what's the big deal?" Ranma said bluntly.

Akane gave him a dark look. She got up and put her dishes in the sink along with the smoking pot. She turned on him, her expression serious.

"We're married, Ranma. Get that through your head. Ryoga actually being alive, and back in Nerima...that's huge. That's big news. I deserve to hear it from you straight away. Don't keep things from me, especially things like this." she told him.

Ranma tossed his water bottle back in the fridge, half-empty. "I'm goin' to the dojo." he muttered.

"What you're doing is avoiding me!" Akane snapped. "Again!"

"I'm going out!" Ranma shouted back, slamming the door behind him and heading out to the dojo. When he got there, he stared at the sign at the front of the room, which now had his family name as well as Tendo. Seeing it now suddenly made his stomach churn, and suddenly he didn't feel like working out. All of his energy had flooded out of him. He turned and walked out of the dojo, and decided to go for a walk to clear his mind.

If he was going to be completely honest with himself, he had to admit he was utterly miserable. In fact, he'd been miserable for the last few years. He was just a good actor, but yet some days he would be tired of acting and be an absolute wall of pessissism to everyone close to him. He'd been doing a good job of hiding it for quite a while...and then Ryoga showed up and all of a sudden Ranma couldn't shake the heavy feeling inside of him.

He could vaguely remember a feeling of contentness last night, just before he'd gone to bed, but he couldn't seem to remember why he'd felt that way. When he tried, it was like he put up a wall to block himself out. He wanted to see it, but he didn't. He figured there had to be something he'd thought of last night that made him feel so happy, and yet his mind also told him he was simply imagining things. Ranma rubbed his temples, severely confused by his strange and conflicting thoughts, frustrated by his fight with Akane, and all around miserable about the entire situation as a whole.

Ranma was pulled out of his thoughts when he caught sight of something like smoke billowing through the air a short distance away. The further he walked, the closer he came to the smoke. As he got closer, he saw that the smoke was coming from a vacant lot. As he walked past the lot, he noticed the smoke was in fact coming from a kettle on a small burner, and was actually steam from whatever was boiling inside. There was a yellow tent that the kettle on the burner sat just outside of. Just as Ranma looked at the tent as he walked by, the tent flap opened and a man crawled out, a cup of instant ramen in his hand.

I made camp in a vacant lot, and as I write I'm waiting for the water to boil for my luxurious dinner of instant beef-flavoured ramen.

The words flashed through Ranma's head, written in neat scrawl on a piece of slightly worn paper. Suddenly, the words blotched and became unreadable as liquid splashed over them. At first, Ranma was confused at the image, but then he thought to himself of the letter he'd received, the day of the-

"Ranma!"

Ranma gasped slightly, and the feeling of recognition left as quick as it came. He looked up to see Ryoga in the vacant lot, standing up and staring at him. Ranma's eyes widened, and he started walking again, idly wondering why he'd stopped in the first place.

"Ranma, wait!"

Ryoga quickly caught up to Ranma and grabbed his shoulder before Ranma could start to run with all his speed; if he had done so, Ryoga would have never caught him. Today, however, it seemed Ranma's legs were made of lead. Maybe he was hadn't been training hard enough recently.

Or maybe, you didn't try very hard to escape because you want to be caught.

Shut up!

"Hands off, bacon breath!" Ranma snapped, jerking himself out of Ryoga's grip. He started to run again, but Ryoga snagged his wrist, pulling him back. "Lemme go!"

"Will you just wait a minute, please? I just want to talk to you!" Ryoga begged, tugging him closer. Ranma desperately tugged his arm, trying to pry his hand free, but it was hopeless. Where Ranma was insanely fast, Ryoga had brute strength.

"We already talked! I thought you said you were gonna leave me alone?" Ranma cried, still trying to pull himself free even though he knew it was in vain.

"...I lied, okay?" Ryoga replied simply. "Back when we were younger I made melodramatic proclamations of that sort a lot. Goodbye forever, we'll never meet again...that sort of thing. I guess you could say it's an old habit of mine to say things I don't mean."

What does he mean, when we were 'younger'? He's talkin' like we're adults or somethin'...

That's because you are.

"So that whole nonsense about you bein' in love with me, you didn't mean that either, right?" Ranma asked, looking over his shoulder at Ryoga.

Ryoga's eyes softened and he gave a small laugh, a laugh that sounded to Ranma as if he were mocking him. "No, Ranma, that one I meant."

"Still goin' on about that, are you?" Ranma quipped.

"I guess so, since I have been for the last six years." Ryoga replied.

Ranma blinked. "Ryoga, I was ten six years ago. You didn't even know me." Ranma told him.

Ryoga deadpanned. "Ranma, you aren't sixteen." Ryoga said calmly. "I don't know why you started acting and pretending like you are...but you aren't. I was going to try and snap you out of this in a more gentle way considering you've probably been like this since...since that hurricane...but-"

"What hurricane?"

Shirokuro whimpering under the table. The whole house shaking. The tea spilling onto the letter that Ryoga sent from-

"Stop decieving yourself, Ranma." Ryoga said. "It won't do anyone any good."

Ranma finally ripped his hand out of Ryoga's, and turned to face him, glaring. "I ain't decieving myself." he snapped.

Yes, you are.

Ranma blocked out the voice, his glare deepening.

"I'm sixteen years old. I'm married to Akane, and we've taken over the Anything-Goes school like our father's promised we would do. There wasn't any hurricane. You don't love me, and I ain't married to you. We are rivals in the Art, and you hate my guts!"

Ryoga sighed in frustration. Ranma had always been a good actor; it appeared he was so good he could even make himself believe his own lie. Had everyone else around him been playing along, decieving him as well? Did they just all pity him too much to show him the truth? Ryoga didn't want to do it, but he had no other options. Ranma had severely warped his own phyche, and now the only way to put it back to normal was to wound it. Shatter it to pieces so Ranma could glue them back together the right way. He didn't want to mess with Ranma's head, cause him this mental turmoil...but he had no choice.

"If you're sixteen," Ryoga said. "are you still going to Furinkan High School?"

Ranma frowned, looking puzzelled by the strange question. He seemed deep in thought for a moment.

Coming up with his lie, thought Ryoga.

"No," said Ranma, standing up straighter. "I dropped out. School is a waste of time for a martial artist, anyways."

"Then what about Akane? School is important to her. Does she still go?" Ryoga pressed.

He's only fabricated his own lie. It's not like all the people around him stopped living because he did. He'd have to make up something to go along with his own story.

Ranma shrugged, scratching his nose. "She probably studies in her spare time." he said vaguely.

Akane may love you, Ranma, but she'd never give up her education for you.

"Isn't sixteen kind of young to be married?" Ryoga continued.

Ranma puffed out his chest. "Doesn't matter how old we are," he said. "I love Akane."

Ryoga looked away at nothing, looking thoughtful. "Is that so? From what I remember, when I asked you, you yelled at me and said we were too young."

The burning feeling came back, and he could see himself, and Ryoga. They wore regular shirts and jeans. Ranma was looking at Ryoga, red in the face, looking angry yet nervous.

We're seventeen! We're too young to think about something like that!

"I don't know what you're talking about." Ranma muttered.

Why don't we just...wait a while? Ask me again then and see what I say.

"So I waited," Ryoga went on, like Ranma hadn't spoken at all. "I waited a whole year, in fact, just to be perfectly sure I'd given it enough time. I asked you if you wanted to do some training up in the mountains, and you excitedly agreed. You loved it when we went on training trips together. So we went up to the mountains for a week, and spent the whole time training, using the hot springs, going for walks in the forest...whatever we wanted. One night, the sky was so clear you could see every single star. We were sitting out by the campfire, and you were watching the sky, and saying how one of the reasons you loved to go on training trips was to get away from the city and see the whole sky without all the smog in the way."

You don't see this many stars down in the city, do ya? You sorta forget how many stars are really up there until ya go out and see 'em all, an' it amazes you every time. I guess that's the wonder of it...

Ranma stared at Ryoga, his mind replaying the whole night, and yet screaming at Ryoga to stop. His mouth refused to move, and he listened as Ryoga continued, still looking up at nothing, a reminiscent smile on his lips.

"I said that we should try to find some place where we could see the whole sky and all the scenery. You knew just the place, and were eager to show me. It was a cliff nearby, and you could look across the whole valley from there. Do you remember what happened after that, Ranma?" Ryoga finally looked him in the eye, and his eyes held a hidden plea.

Of course I remember. You took my hand suddenly and I looked at you, and you were smiling at me. I smiled back, and then all of a sudden you dropped down, still holding my hand. You looked up at me, and let out this strange, nervous little laugh. I usually laughed at you whenever you did that, but at that moment I was frozen; I could only stare at you. You reached into your pocket and pulled out a gold ring, holding it up pinched between your thumb and first finger, and you still had that nervous little grin on your face. Then-

"...I asked you if a year was a long enough time for you to think it over." Ryoga said amusedly. "You just stared at me for a long time, before you laughed and said-"

...I think I've made up my mind now.

Your grin got so big I laughed even harder. Then you slipped that ring on my finger so fast it was like you were scared I was going to change my mind in the next five seconds.

"We were married for two years. Those two years were the happiest of my whole life." Ryoga said, taking a step towards Ranma. "What I can't understand is how those two years were so easy for you to forget. Like they meant nothing to you at all."

They meant the world to me, you fool.

Ranma could only stare at Ryoga, lost in his eyes, which looked at him with such affection yet such betrayal.

It hurts too much to hold on to a world that you think has left you behind.

"I refuse to believe you have completely wiped away the memories of those years we spent together," Ryoga muttered. "Somewhere, deep inside of you, I know they're all there."

I had to bury them deep or they would eat me alive.

Now each one is resurfacing and it's tearing me apart.

"Shut up!" Ranma shouted. "Just leave me alone!"

Ranma turned around and ran away, hearing Ryoga call his name, but he dove around a corner and ran as fast as he could, losing him instantly. Strange sounds that sounded like sobs escaped his throat as he ran, but he wasn't crying. At least, he really hoped he wasn't. He ignored the looks of confusion, bafflement, and concern from the people he rushed by on the street. He would have jumped to the rooftops, but his legs still felt too heavy. He pushed his way through the crowds of people on the streets, sometimes earning shouts and curses, but he kept running.

He leapt over the Tendo wall, leaping across the yard and up onto the roof, then slipped inside his bedroom. His breath ragged, he dragged his heavy legs to his dresser, as if moved by a strange force. He opened a drawer filled with random knick-knacks, and he dug through. He knew what he was looking for, and yet he didn't.

He pulled out a necklace made of thin chain, which held a golden band. He held up the chain, watching the gold band turn slowly and flicker when the lights hit it. He put it around his neck, and fastened it. Instantly, he brought his hands up again to undo it and put it back, but his hands froze on the chain. Then they fell, and he kept the necklace on. He looked down at himself for a moment, feeling strange yet right all at once. As he walked towards the shoji door, he took the ring and tucked it beneath his shirt. He could feel it's weight and coolness on his bare chest.

He smiled at the feeling, hating himself for it.

Author's Notes:

A rift that has been left ignored for four years between Ranma and Akane is making itself more visible, while Ryoga persistently tries to break Ranma's self-inflicted brainwashing. Ranma continues to battles his conflicting thoughts, feelings, and emotions. And the more he thinks about Ryoga, the closer he gets to breaking free.

Has everyone really been decieving Ranma all this time, playing along with his own lie? Will Ryoga finally get through to Ranma? And what of Akane and Ranma's relationship, and marriage?

Holy crap, are things gettin' freaking complicated, or what?

Stay tuned for Chapter Four!

- Jadells