Chapter 14: I Don't Wanna Be In Love

(-Arion's PoV-)

Hey Diary/Journal thing,

I guess it's been a while, hasn't it?

Well, where do I start? Gray hates me. Gajeel hates me. I hate me. Life hates me. What am I doing wrong? Is it my inability to trust people? Probably. They probably wouldn't have been as mad if I just said it.

And Gray, the look on his face when I told him I was engaged was horribly painful to look at. It's not that I didn't like him, it's just- my people need me. I had to stop that bastard, Acnologia right? Right?

Tear drops fell onto the page. I sat in a booth in the farthest corner of the guild, isolated, as I was meant to be.

Tell me, Diary. What am I doing wrong?

I break down into my words. I can feel his cold stare on me as he watches me. I hear his heart beating rapidly as he listens to my sobs. Not even a milkshake could heal right now.

I wipe the tears from my face and stand, leaving the guild hall before anyone could ask what was wrong.

Tell me, Diary. Am I a fool?

I rush out, not knowing where I could possibly go. I feel a sad navy stare on my face. I'm sorry for the pain I caused.

Am I making the right choices?

I'm a dragon. I'm a dragon trying to live with humans. If I stayed put, I would have never even met any of these people. I am a dragon in love with the impossible.

Tell me. Have I the right to love without lying?

I don't want that. I don't want this kind of love it only cause heartbreak in the end. Gray hates me. I'm sorry. Gajeel hates me. I'm sorry. I hate me. I said I was sorry. Life hates me. Come back. I didn't mean to push you away. I didn't mean it! I'm sorry.

I stumble along the Magnolia streets. Can't go home to Lucy's. Damn. Can't go home to Cecily until the wedding. Damn. Can't go back to the guild. Damn it all! Where am I going?

As I wobbled around a pair of strong hands caught my shoulders. "Princess?" Griffin seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"Go away!"

"What happened to you?" his voice sounded harsh and his face- my vision is blurry.

I'm going crazy. "Nothing." I lie, sobbing out my words. "Leave me alone!"

Worthless.

What?

"Then why are you crying?"

You are worthless. I saw another me this time. She was the Red. She again dressed like me only with a red shirt and black pants and boots. Her hair was actually only chin length. She was obviously the anger I felt inside, as the previous me had been the happy/love me.

"Do I not have the right to my emotions?" Stop.

Its your fault that you mother died.

Tears ran down from my eyes faster and Griffin hugged me tightly "Tell me, Arion. Please tell me what is the matter." He plead to me.

Stop! Please! Stop!

You'd be better off dead.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I began thrashing around in Griffin's arms.

You don't deserve Gray. Or Griffin.

"Why are you saying those things?!"

Gray would be better off with Juvia. Anyone but you. Red had said.

Juvia?

You know Gray hates you. He even told you that he wanted you to leave him alone.

Are you not me?! Why do you wish me pain, Me?

And Griffin! He's a man I could love 'til the end of time. Too bad he's gonna leave you, too, isn't it?

I grip my skull roughly. A loud roar escapes from my lips and my body flashes in and out of its 2nd Release form. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I CAN'T TAKE THIS! PLEASE STOP!" My voice becomes rougher as the pain begins. The transformation is happening faster now. The scales shoot from my skin rapidly. "STOP!"

"Arion what's happening?"

"Gray..." and all goes black.

(-Griffin's PoV-)

"Gray?" my grip tightens around my fiancé. "What did that icy bastard do to her?" I never particularly liked Gray or any human for that matter. When I first met him that snowy night, I instantly knew I wouldn't be his pal. He tried to kiss my princess and now he had hurt her.

I marched down to the guild hall after taking Arion to that Porlyusica woman's house. When I had spoken to Grandine she told me of her counterpart and how to find her if I ever needed her help while in Fiore. This was as good a time as any to ask. Porlyusica told me she would d her best but there was no guarantee she could do anything. I thanked her and then left in the direction the Fairy Tail guild hall.

When i walked in the doors, everyone was chatting loudly, drinking, and fighting. How disgusting. I was greeted at the door by a young woman with long white hair wearing a pink dress. "Hi there. I'm Mirajane. Is there anything that I can help you with?"

"Yes. Actually I'm looking for a man named Gray."

"Gray? Oh he's right over there where that blue cat is flying around. He's the one with dark hair-"

"Yes, I'm fully aware of what he looks like. Thank you." I say pushing past the young woman. I walked over to the group of people where Gray sat. "What did you do to her?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Who is this guy, Gray?" The busty blonde woman asked.

We continued our argument, ignoring the woman. "You know exactly what I'm the talking about, you bastard! Arion." He gasped when I said her name. Did he really not know?

"What happened to her?"

"I have no idea. i was walking around when I heard her crying. I went to see what the was and she started freaking out and talking to herself. Her magic was flickering then she fell unconscious. She said your name before she fainted so I assume you had been the cause."

"My name...?"

"Unless you know another Gray, then it was you."

The red haired woman spoke next. "Gray when you left with Arion the other day, what happened?"

He was hesitant when he answered her. "I told her to leave me alone and to not speak to me anymore. I was angry and I took it out on her."

"Why would you be angry with Arion? She's trusts you most out of anyone in this guild. She tells you everything." The blonde spoke again.

"Yeah, well there is one thing that I wish she hadn't told me."

"And what would that be, Ice mage?"

"That she was marrying you..." A smug smile came onto my face. I had won.

(-Arion's PoV-)

Everything was black. There was no trace of anything anywhere. There was a blinding light that appeared out of nowhere at all.

Are you done crying? I saw myself again. She was glowing white. Her clothes were all white, too, and her hair was longer than I had ever seen before

No. I don't believe I am.

Why are you crying so much these days, Ari? She stood before me with her arms crossed but her facial expression was soft. White was the kind and gentle me. She was the philosophical and spiritual part that couldn't her a fly even if it was trying to destroy he most prized possession.

I'm not sure. Can you tell me?

She walked toward me and laid a hand on my shoulder. Her hair dragged as she moved.I can not. You have to know for yourself.

Are you not me?

No. I am not you. I am me and you are you.

What do you me-! ZZZZZZURG. An electrical surge begins to flow throw me. ZZZZURG. What's happening to me, White?

You're gonna die, Princess~.Another voice?

I won't die.

They're gonna kill you~. No its the voice from before. Red came back, meaner than ever, though she seemed happier now than before.

Isn't this exciting. There gonna be an execution today!

I'm not dying today. I haven't told Gray how I felt yet!

But Gray still hates you. He will never accept your feelings now.

You're wrong. Y-you're wrong!

ZZZZZZZURG. AHhHhHhHhHhHhHh! ZZZZZZZZZZURG!

See. This is what your love has got you. I don't wanna be in love, especially if I'll be the death of me.