A/N: Someone whom I shall not name, used the review page of one of my stories to bully and criticize a fellow author and friend of mine who no longer writes for this site. I have taken steps to put a stop to this ridiculousness. Review pages are to be used for readers to voice what they like/dislike about an update or story, and not to bully someone. If you have a problem with someone, discuss it privately. I hope this is the last time I see this. I have written this author's note on each of my stories because not everybody reads all three.

Chapter 40

A smiling Haley was leaning forward with both arms on the bed, stroking her husband's hair, and kissing his lips repeatedly. The head of the bed was slightly elevated, allowing him to sit up with no discomfort. Hotch gently held her free hand in his with a smile on his face. They were staring into each other's eyes totally absorbed only in each other. Even the internal negative voice was gone for the time being. In fact, they were so absorbed with each other that neither noticed the door open.

"Jeez. Are you two at it again?" a familiar gruff voice asked.

Hotch and Haley looked over to find Dave Rossi, with a smirk on his face, standing just inside the room watching them. Instead of coming by after work, he had decided to take an early lunch and stop at the hospital instead. Haley blushed while Hotch stared at Rossi, his face unreadable to Haley, but not to Rossi's trained eyes.

Rossi understood from the expression in Hotch's eyes. The younger man was still miffed at him for withholding the truth, but he spotted something else as well. Forgiveness.

"Why are you here, Dave?" Hotch asked staring at the older agent. He wouldn't make things easy for his friend.

"Aaron, behave," Haley muttered with a frown and swatted her husband's shoulder. Hotch mouthed a silent 'owww' and rubbed his shoulder.

But Rossi was unfazed by his friend's reaction. He was prepared to let Aaron have his fun. He shrugged his shoulders. "What can I say? I missed your ugly mug."

"Ugly mug? Have you looked in the mirror lately? Garcia, JJ, Prentiss, Reid, and Haley are all prettier than you."

Rossi chuckled. "I guess that means I'm prettier than Morgan since you didn't include him."

Hotch opened his mouth to respond. But before he could utter a word, Haley got to her feet. She suspected her husband had forgiven his best friend. Hotch closed his mouth and arched both eyebrows in surprise at her actions. She faced the older man and smiled. "Why don't you take my seat, Dave? You and Aaron need to talk."

Rossi glanced at Hotch's face and back at Haley. He feigned concern. "Are you sure about this?" he asked with arched eyebrows. "I mean, Aaron doesn't appear too happy I'm here right now."

Haley glanced over her shoulder at her husband and gave him her version of the Hotchner stare. "He'll behave himself if he knows what's good for him." She turned back to Rossi. "Besides, I need a cup of coffee." With a last glance at her husband, Haley walked out of the room leaving the two men alone.

As the door closed, Rossi sat in the hard chair and leaned forward with arms on his thighs, hands clasped between his knees. He glanced around the room and eyed all the trolls, including Betsy, who still stood on Hotch's stomach. Nobody had had the heart to move it, including doctors and nurses, no matter how much its presence annoyed Hotch. Everybody had found the little troll adorable. But every time Hotch looked at it, there was the hot pink hair sticking up, the bright red dress, and eyes staring at him. And it drove him crazy.

"Garcia told me she stopped by here on her way to work," Rossi said with an amused smirk. "She said she had left a few friends to keep you company." He touched the troll's hair and chuckled. "Your girlfriend's really hot, Aaron. What's her name?"

"It's Betsy and shut up, Dave!" Hotch growled. If he was able to bend over without pain he would grab Betsy, and stick her in a drawer.

Rossi chuckled at the bear seated on the foot of the bed. He looked at Hotch, eyes twinkling. "I'm not even going to comment on your friend here except to say the likeness is remarkable."

Hotch cast his eyes toward the ceiling and groaned. When he finally did face the older profiler, he noticed the man had an amused grin on his face.

"Why are you grinning?"

"I'm waiting for you to say you forgive me."

Hotch's eyes widened in shock. "Forgive you? From my point-of-view, you should apologize to me. You're the one who kept the truth to himself."

Rossi found himself chuckling. "Still being a hard ass, aren't you, Aaron?"

"Who are you calling a hard ass, old man?" Aaron fought hard to keep from smiling.

"Who you calling old? You get your lazy ass outta that bed, and I'll show you who's old."

A moment later the two men were laughing. Rossi reached out and gripped Hotch's hand tightly. Hotch's smile faded and his eyes glistened. His lower lip quivered.

"Dave, I am so, so sorry. I never meant to treat you like an enemy because you kept the truth from me. I…I understand you were not only concerned with trying to save my life, but you did what you thought was best for me." He blinked to keep his tears from falling.

Rossi smiled an affectionate smile and his brown eyes showed the love he had for the younger man who he considered a son. "No apology necessary, Aaron. I didn't take what you said personally. You were handed a great shock and you needed time. There's nothing wrong with that."

Hotch swallowed hard. "Strauss was here earlier."

"I know." Rossi had no reaction that their Section Chief had come for a visit.

Hotch's eyebrows arched upward. "How did you…never mind. Don't tell me."

Rossi chuckled. "Good boy. Because I wouldn't tell you anyway." A serious expression appeared when Rossi noticed Hotch's trembling lower lip. He became concerned. "What's wrong, Aaron? Talk to me." Hotch sighed.

"I love you like a father, Dave. Lord knows you've been more of one to me than the one I had."

Rossi let out a deep breath and his own smile reappeared. "Te Amo, Aaron. Te Amo." A wide grin appeared on Hotch's face, but disappeared seconds later.

"Dave, I need to ask you a question, and I'd appreciate an honest answer. Can you do that for me?"

"If I can." Rossi suspected what the question would be. After all, Hotch was one of the most brilliant profilers in his field, and could read people like they were open books. "What is it?"

"Has the team been told what happened? Everything that happened?"

"Morgan and I were there. We both saw what was done to you by Armitage."

"That's not what I mean, Dave. I mean the rest of the team. Do they all know everything?" Hotch's dark eyes looked directly into Rossi's. "And don't lie to me, please."

"Aaron, what makes you suspect the rest of the team's been told about your problem?"

"Garcia's behavior. I could see it in her eyes and the way she handled herself. She was nervous, and appeared to be keeping something from me. Something I'm not supposed to find out."

"Aaron…."

"She never said anything to me, but I'm a profiler, Dave. I have a feeling she knows. So I ask you one more time. Does the entire team know everything?" Rossi still hesitated. "Please, Dave. It's important to me."

Rossi stared into his friend's eyes, and could see the desperation in them. Only the truth would work now. He bowed his head, let out a deep breath, and nodded. He raised his head and focused on Aaron again.

"They all do. They found out in Santa Barbara when you were in the hospital there. The doctors there came out to speak with us, and explained everything, including the injury to your privates."

Hotch turned away from the older man and squeezed his eyes shut. "Oh God!" he muttered.

Rossi put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Aaron...Aaron, you need to stay calm."

Hotch turned toward him with tears in his eyes. "How can I calm down, Dave? Tell me. I'm sure the entire team believes me less of a man and can no longer lead them. How can I even face them again? Oh God." He covered his eyes with his free hand. Rossi grabbed that same hand and pulled it away from his friend's face. He then gently grabbed his chin and lifted his head so Hotch had no choice but to look at him.

"Aaron, nobody on your team believes or even thinks that of you."

"How could they not? I have this little voice in my head that keeps telling me the same thing. If I don't believe I'm a man, how will the team believe I am? I'm damaged goods, Dave. I'm broken and probably can't be repaired. The team would be better off choosing either you or Morgan as the new Unit Chief. They need somebody who's whole to lead them."

"Stop it, Aaron!" Rossi's eyes became hard and his eyebrows knitted together. He was angry. "Just stop right now with the self-pity! It's not like you at all. First, you are not damaged beyond repair and I won't allow you to think of yourself that way. You will recover, Aaron. You just have to give yourself time. Second, I don't ever want to hear you refer to yourself again as less of a man. You understand me? I don't believe that, Haley certainly doesn't, and neither does the team. They all feel badly about what Armitage did to you."

"I don't want their damn pity! I don't want somebody to say 'Oh there's poor Aaron. He used to be a man but he's not anymore….' "

"Aaron, stop!" He waited as Hotch took a deep breath and calmed himself. "I understand you're a private man and the knowledge that the team knows something so intimate and private about you is humiliating. But when I said the team feels badly, I did not mean pity. I meant anger. They are angry at what was done to you. They feel badly because they didn't get there in time to stop him. One last thing, you are our leader, and the one we want to follow. Whether you can or can't hasn't got a damn thing to do with leading the team! Now you tell that little negative voice the next time you hear it, to go straight to hell and don't come back!"

Hotch wiped his cheeks with the palms of his hands. "But what if they.…."

"But nothing, Aaron. And don't let anybody try and convince you you're not the same man we all know and love. If you find one, just give me their name, and after kitten ruins their credit, I will kick their ass! You understand me?"

"Thank you, Dave, for everything. I mean it with all my heart."

Rossi leaned back in his chair. "No need to thank me. I only spoke the truth."

Hotch exhaled through his mouth. He was calmer now, but realizing the team had been told still bothered him. "I know."

Rossi glanced at his watch. "I have to leave or Morgan's gonna suffer a heart attack. I left him in charge, and I've been gone longer than planned. You gonna be okay until Haley gets back?"

Hotch nodded. "I'll be all right." He smirked as he looked down the length of the bed. "I have Betsy to keep me company."

Rossi grinned. "She is definitely a hot looking babe. I'd go out with her myself if I was younger."

Hotch just shook his head and chuckled. "Get out of here and go rescue Morgan before he goes insane from paperwork." Rossi chuckled.

"The exercise will do him good," he smirked.

"He's going to hate you, y'know," Hotch replied with the corners of his mouth curling upward. "According to you, you're already late." Rossi merely shrugged his shoulders noncommittally. He checked his watch again, and got up from the uncomfortable chair. He stretched to loosen his stiff joints from sitting so long in the small, hard chair. He kissed the top of Aaron's head then stroked his hair. "You desperately need a haircut, my friend," he teased. "Maybe I can have Morgan give you a trim."

Hotch looked horrified. "Don't you dare!"

"Why? Morgan's pretty good, I understand. Besides, I'm sure he'd be glad to trim your hair for you. It's getting shaggy, especially in the back."

"Dave, Morgan is bald. I like my hair and don't intend to end up looking like Yul Brynner or Mr. Clean."(1)(2)

Rossi tried to hide his snickers imagining a bald Hotch. He failed miserably.

"I know that look, David Rossi. And I warn you. Don't even think it. I will sic both Garcia and Haley on you."

Rossi placed a hand over his heart feigning being wounded. "Despite your threats, and apparent lack of trust, I will still be back later this evening with the entire team. They really want to see you. And JJ told me since Will's aware Jack and the team are coming this evening, he figured it might be too much for you in one day. So he will bring Henry tomorrow. JJ says Henry made a get well card all by himself for his Uncle Aaron." Seeing a smile on his friend's face warmed Rossi's heart. But he was aware his friend was still troubled by the fact that the entire team was privy to extremely personal and private information. He walked to the door and opened it. As he stood in the doorway, he looked back at his friend. "Get some rest, Aaron. And remember what I said if that voice comes back."

Hotch looked at his friend. "I don't know if I can face the team.''

It's all gonna work out, you'll see. Trust me." Rossi smiled. "Ciao, Aaron," and disappeared out the door leaving Aaron alone in the room. Watching the door close, Hotch swallowed the lump in his throat. But he didn't have much time to think as the door opened again, and Haley walked in holding a Styrofoam cup of hot coffee. She glanced cautiously around the room before her eyes fell on her husband.

"Since I don't see any blood splatter on the floor or walls, I guess you and Dave didn't kill each other." She sat in the chair Rossi earlier occupied, and took a sip of her coffee. "So what happened while I was gone? Did you both make up and shake hands?"

Hotch sighed. "He said the entire team has known since California. He also said they're coming later today for a visit." He faced his wife. "How can I even face them? What must they be thinking? Seeing the pity in their eyes would hurt more than anything, Haley."

Haley put a hand on her husband's shoulder. "Aaron, I ran into Dave as he was leaving, and I was on my way back here. He told me what he told you to do when that negative little voice comes back which sounds like it has. Don't listen to it, sweetheart. Tell it to go the hell away! Your team respects and loves you, and does not pity you. To them you are a strong man who takes on adversity and wins. And you will beat this, Aaron. You just have to give yourself time. Time and not rush things as your boss said. And during that time, be happy with whatever small improvements you achieve. And let those who love you help."

"How do I do this, Haley? How do I learn to accept what I now am?" A tear rolled down his cheek from the corner of one eye. "I don't think I can do this."

Haley wiped away the tear that fell with her thumb. She got to her feet, leaned over her husband, and studied him with an intense stare. "You listen to me, Aaron Hotchner, and you listen good. I didn't marry a quitter. I married a man who can handle anything life throws at him. So don't you start quitting on me now. You understand me, mister?"

"Yes, ma'am," Hotch replied with the corners of his mouth turned upward. "I just may need you to remind me from time to time."

Haley smiled sweetly. "I think I can do that for my man." She pressed her lips against his gently, then slowly deepened the kiss.

Most of the day was uneventful for Hotch. But there was one bright spot. He received a phone call from his sister-in-law confirming if it was still okay to bring Jack by after he got out of school. Of course Hotch said yes. He was desperate to see his son. Things went downhill after that. First it was lunch. He was served a bowl of tasteless clear broth, jello, milk, and a Styrofoam cup of hot water and a teabag. He groaned when he saw the broth, but Haley glared at her husband with arms folded across her chest. Hotch sighed seeing her expression, picked up the plastic spoon, and under the watchful eye of his wife, began to eat his lunch. He made a face after one spoonful of the broth.

"What I wouldn't give right now for a thick steak, one of you delicious banana creme pies, and a bottle of beer," he said with a sigh.

Haley chuckled. "Perhaps once you're home," she replied gesturing to the tray. "Now eat. Or do I have to contact Penelope?"

Hotch rolled his eyes hearing the tech analyst's name, fearing the wrath she would unleash upon him if Haley told her he wasn't eating. With a sigh, he resumed eating.

Next, he had to endure an examination by Doctor Maynard which he didn't mind. Maynard chuckled when he saw the bear and shook his head, amused. In fact, Hotch received good news which did make him smile. His feet were healing so well, that the soft casts could be removed in another week. Also, the injuries to his face were nearly completely healed enough for plastic surgery to be performed to fix his face. The injuries would need one more week of healing. But before he could pull back the covers to examine the left knee, Maynard was forced to hand Betsy over to Haley who laid the little troll on the bed beside her husband's head much to his dismay.

The swelling of his left knee had gone down considerably, but was still somewhat painful; but not as painful as a few weeks ago. Yet, the swelling had not gone down enough. The swelling still didn't allow the leg to be straightened and the knee fitted with a cast. Still, neither Hotch nor Haley complained. But the happiness Hotch enjoyed soon went away when Doctor Markus entered the room to conduct her examination. Hotch cast his eyes upward and sighed.

Markus tilted her head as she spotted the bear then looked at her patient. She chuckled. "Amazing resemblance, Agent Hotchner," she teased. Hotch rolled his eyes. This was never going to end as far as he was concerned. She noticed the trolls around the room and simply shook her head, amused.

"I'm here to examine you, Agent Hotchner." She glanced at Haley. "You may step out of the room if you'd like, Mrs. Hotchner."

"I'll stay if you don't mind," Haley responded with a smile. She reached over and took her husband's hand, mindful of the IV needle and squeezed it tightly. She understood how embarrassed her husband was at having another woman seeing him so exposed even if she was a doctor. With her free hand he patted his shoulder. "Go ahead doctor," she added. Hotch turned away so he wouldn't have to look at the injured area. Haley remained by his side throughout Markus' entire examination never releasing her husband's hand the entire time. She didn't wince when she saw the wound. Even though it was still in the early stages of healing, it looked much better than earlier. Hotch had always been a fast healer. She smiled as she gazed lovingly at her husband as Doctor Markus put fresh bandages over the area, while a nurse replaced the urine bag with a new one. When Hotch felt the blanket being adjusted, he turned toward the doctor.

"Well?" was all he asked.

"It's healing very well. In fact, it's healing much better than I thought at this stage." She made a few notations on her chart before she again looked at the couple. "As to when we can remove the catheter, you'll have to be able to urinate on your own. But considering your injury that will take time. Possibly several months."

Hotch frowned. "How much time and how many months?" He wanted to leave this hospital and go home. He hated hospitals.

"That I cannot answer," Markus explained. "All we can do is take it one day at a time. Now if you'll excuse me, I have other patients to examine." With a smile, Markus walked out of the room.

Alone now, Haley held Hotch close to her and rested the side of her head on top of his head. "See, honey, you got a few small victories. Be happy for those because they will come. They just won't come as fast as you may want. But they will come."

(1) Yul Brynner was born 7/11/1920 and died 10/10/85. He was a Russian-born United States-based film and stage actor. He was best known for his portrayal of the King of Siam in THE KING AND I with Gertrude Lawrence. Another well-known role was that of Rameses II in THE TEN COMMANDANTS.

(2) Mr. Clean is a brand name and mascot fully owned by Procter & Gamble used for a cleaning solution. Mr. Clean was created by Linwood Burton, a marine ship cleaning businessman. Made his TV commercial debut in 1958.