Tales of Sam and Bess, 1660-1700

Tales suggesting famed 17th century diarist/naval adminstrator Samuel Pepys and his lady had more going on than even his famed daily diary let us know...

Note: The best way to know Mr. Pepys is through his magnificent nine year daily Diary...Which is now available on-line on a day-to-day basis at pepysdiary courtesy of the wonderful Phil Gyford.

I would also recommend "The Unequaled Self", a new biography by Claire Tomlin...Just terrific and fills in the gaps the diary leaves...

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"The Saga of Cap't Pepys…"

Summary: So…If young Batten is unacceptable and it's beneath the dignity of
Admiral Sir Will P to command the privateer bequeathed to Batten,
Penn, and Pepys…

"Bess? Remember how I said you could come with me on my next sea
voyage?"

Enter (legal) pirate captain Pepys…

Deck of the Flying Greyhound…( I for one love that name)

"Avast you there! Shiver those timbers, sir! Take no prisoners! And
remind the men they are to properly enter all receipts for equipment
used and prizes taken in the accounts books. And, Hewer, everyone is
to provide Mrs. Pepys with full receipts for food and drink."

"Aye, aye sir."

"'E's the capt'n? That feller?..." one old salt asks of a fellow
sailor.

"Aye..."

"We won't make it to the next port."

"Maybe not...But there no man better to handle clearances about prizes
with the Royal Council when we return."

Bess emerges, in what she envisions from her novels as appropriate
garb...

"Bess?! I've told you before I would tolerate no patches."

"Sam'l…Tis only an eyepatch. To make me look more menacing when we
assault ships. Arrh…"

Waves cutlass… "This is grand. You know I bet I could do a better job
now on your stone cut than your doctor."

"Mrs. P.? The crew wanted to know if we would be having dancing
tonight on the main deck?"

"Oh, yes…" "Oh, no, we won't!"

"Sam'l…It's for the men's morale…Which considering this ship and its
officers, could use a lift."

"Bess…You're the only woman on board…." Hewer rolling eyes at the
thought of Mrs. Bagwell safely secured in the hold… "…We must take
certain…Precautions."

"With this crew of clerks and elderly sailors recalled to duty?
'Sides, French Bess, the doxy of bloody Sam Pepys has her trusty
cutlass handy."

Swings…

"Bess!…"

"Sorry…I am having a grand time, love. And you never looked so… Black
really suits you, Sam'l."

"Really…?"

"Arrh…"

Hmmn…

"Hewer…I'd like you to look to our supercargo… " takes aside… "…and
inform our passenger that I will be somewhat too busy with ship
matters to visit with her tonight."

"Aye, sir.".

"Swab down that deck! Look alive you mutinuous dogs! Or the
capt'n'll have your throats cut by me! You, there! You want a good
flogging?! Have at that deck, you bloody hounds!"

"Bess...No need to be so harsh on the men..." Sam'l, hissing...

"Sorry...Just supporting your authority, darling. And I am in charge
of the housekeeping. Will? A word..." Takes Hewer aside...

"Tell the 'supercargo' if she wants to see another dawn to take the
boat and make for land...Immediately."

"Aye, aye, ma'am."
…