Chapter 44

Over the next few weeks, several things changed for Aaron Hotchner. Changes not only physical, but emotional as well. First, he got rid of the nasal cannula. He also got rid of the soft casts on his feet, the machines and wires he had been hooked up to, and the splint on his knee. The knee had been straightened, and the splint replaced with a cast. He also began physical therapy to strengthen the knee. In addition, the cuts on his chest and chin had healed completely leaving barely any visible scars.

Second, he was no longer confined to the bed. With the aid of crutches, Hotch could now take short walks in the hall. And by short walks, the doctor meant from Hotch's room to the nurses' station and back. For longer journeys, he had to use a wheelchair, much to his dismay. Hotch hated using a wheelchair; believed he didn't need it. But without it, he was prohibited from taking long 'walks' in the hospital. So a grumbling Aaron Hotchner relented, after a long 'talk' with his wife, to using the wheelchair. Hotch grinned when he thought about their talk. It was more like Haley talked and he listened. In the end, he figured it better to relent than have an argument with Haley which he realized he wouldn't win.

But most of all, Hotch would no longer let himself wallow in self-pity. He told himself to either accept the hand he had been dealt and try and move on or, as Haley phrased it, have a 'pity party.' He decided to try and move on, if not for himself, than for his wife, son, and team. They needed him as much as he needed them. They didn't need a hollow shell of a man.

Hotch thought about how far he had come since being rescued. He had come a long way. The doctors had told him it might be months before he would be able to walk unaided. And even longer before he'd be able to return to the field. But Hotch vowed to prove them wrong. He would walk again, and it would be sooner rather than later.

Haley still visited daily. Sometimes with Jack, sometimes with her sister, Jessica, and sometimes by herself. It warmed her heart to see to her Aaron show the fight he had within him. In fact, if not for the injury to his groin area, the catheter, and the injuries to his face, he almost resembled his old self. And she and Aaron had both been told earlier he would have plastic surgery the following week to repair his face. So that would be one less problem to face her husband. To try and make things easier for Hotch, she did everything possible to encourage him and he appreciated it all. Especially when he began the physical therapy for his knee.

Hotch had been told he would be spending six hours a week in physical therapy. His physical therapist was a man about ten years younger than Hotch with blond hair and green eyes named Mark Singleton. But despite his youth, he could be as stubborn as Hotch. The agent intimidated the younger therapists, and bully the older ones. But Mark turned out to be the perfect fit as he could take as well as give. And experienced in handling people like Hotch. And on this particular day, Hotch was being difficult.

Mark understood the agent was determined to walk again. And it was this attitude he liked to see in his patients. He liked to see them have a goal and then set about reaching it. But Hotchner was different as he realized right away. Not only did the agent have a goal he wanted to reach, but was intent on reaching it in record time. And while Mark was impressed by the man's determination and expectations, he didn't want him to overexert himself and re-injure his still healing knee.

But Hotch was determined to do more than required of him. So when the time came for him to quit using the parallel bars for the day, he pushed himself beyond his limits, determined to do one more. Mark, though impressed, was also afraid Hotch was overdoing it. So during this particular session, Mark watched Hotch struggle walking back in his direction using the parallel bars. He found himself nearly leaping forward after Hotch stumbled midway when his knee gave out. He managed to catch the agent before he hit the floor, ignoring the older man's swearing. He aided Hotch back into his wheelchair which was positioned facing him close up at the end of the bars. Once seated, Mark tossed the panting agent a towel he used to wipe the sweat from his face.

As Hotch wiped the sweat from his face, he glanced over his shoulder at the therapist. His knee was throbbing, but not painful. And despite the throbbing, Hotch felt better than ever. It was a good feeling to be out of the bed and doing something. Even if only physical therapy. But Hotch was disappointed. Disappointed that the knee would not cooperate. He realized he had suffered a serious knee injury. But he also believed he should be further ahead in his recovery. He totally overlooked the 'be grateful for the small accomplishments' Haley and Strauss had suggested. Mark grabbed the handles of the wheelchair, and headed out of the physical therapy room. He headed back in the direction of Hotch's room as Hotch draped the damp towel around his neck.

"You're making good progress, Agent Hotchner," Mark remarked. "I'm impressed."

"But…" Hotch interjected. He understood the therapist worried his overdoing things.

"But I'm concerned you might be pushing yourself too hard. Don't get me wrong. I admire and am impressed by your determination, but you can easily re-injure your knee and suffer a setback. Take today for example. Your knee gave out on you when you were determined to push yourself to walk one more time. You could have easily hurt yourself."

"I appreciate your concern, but I know how much I'm capable of doing." He paused a few seconds. "I'm determined to walk again and soon. It's important that I do. I understand what I'm doing."

"I understand that, Aaron. I do. It's just that I don't want you to get reinjured and set yourself back further."

"I don't intend to reinjure myself," Hotch replied a bit more harshly then he intended. "But the sooner I can walk, the quicker I can leave here."

Mark shook his head and smirked at the agent's feistiness. They had reached Hotch's room. As he wheeled Hotch into his room, the agent smiled when his eyes fell on his wife and best friend waiting for him. Rossi smirked as his eyes went from Aaron to Mark.

"He give you any trouble?" he asked Mark.

Mark liked David Rossi. He reminded the younger man of his own father growing up as a child. He even wondered at first if they were related. But Rossi pointed out that Hotch was his boss and best friend. "Nothing I can't handle," he admitted with a chuckle. He parked the wheelchair close beside the bed and locked it. "But he's doing very well despite his stubbornness."

"That's my boy," Rossi chuckled looking at Hotch proudly. The younger man glared at his best friend and growled.

Mark took the towel from Hotch. He then helped Hotch to his feet and back into bed. Afterward, he unlocked the wheelchair and moved it out of the way and near the sofa. Hotch, with Haley's help, adjusted the blanket on the bed. Once settled in the bed, Hotch grabbed the remote, and elevated the head on the bed into a sitting position. Haley sat down on the edge of the bed and Rossi in the chair. Mark looked at Hotch. "Doctor Maynard will be by to check out the knee, Agent Hotchner."

Hotch rolled his eyes. He was so sick of being probed, prodded and examined like a lab animal. But a warning look from Haley calmed him as she reached out and gripped his hand. He watched Mark grin and leave the room.

"How's the knee?" asked Rossi seriously. "And don't tell me its fine."

"It aches," Hotch acknowledged. "But it's a good ache if you get my meaning, Dave."

"But no pain, honey?" asked Haley, worry lines creasing her forehead.

"No. No pain. Just an ache. I swear." He frowned. "At least I feel something in my knee."

"Honey…." Haley warned. "I thought you promised no self-pity anymore."

Hotch let the back of his head fall back against the pillows Haley had fluffed up when he was getting settled in bed. "It's not pity, Haley," he admitted, not looking at her. "It really isn't. I promise. If anything, it's frustration. Frustration that it's been at least three months with no sign of any improvement in that area."

Rossi let out a deep breath. "Aaron, look at me," hoping the younger man would look at him. He was pleased when Hotch faced him. "We understand you're frustrated. Any man would be. But you have to remember there are some things that are out of your control."

"I know that, Dave. Don't you think I know that? I just want to be myself again. Before Armitage."

"I know you do," Rossi replied. "But for once you have to show patience, Aaron. There are things that take time, with this unfortunately, being one of 'em. Nobody can snap their fingers and all magically will be the way it was. Hell, if that were the case, I'd snap my fingers in a second so you would never have gone through what you did with Armitage. But I can't. Nobody can. But I believe you will come back from this. And until you do, you need to learn patience. Besides, haven't you heard that old saying 'Good things happen to those who wait?'"

The corners of Hotch's mouth curled upward which touched the older man's heart. "Thank you, Dave. And thanks for being here. Besides Haley, I don't know what I'd do without you in my life."

Rossi patted the younger man's shoulder. "I promise you you'll never have to find out, my son."

Hotch's eyes misted over at hearing Dave refer to him as 'my son.' The two men were extremely close. So close, that Hotch was the only one in whom Dave had confided that his own son, James, had been stillborn. Nobody else on the team even knew Rossi had once had a son. And as he advanced in the BAU, Hotch had often wondered how different his own life might have turned out if Rossi had been his birth father.

He did love the man he considered a surrogate father. He had since being recruited into the BAU by Rossi years ago. Rossi even admitted that if James had lived, he would have been a lot like Aaron. It was from that moment on that Rossi accepted Hotch as his surrogate son, and Hotch accepted the role of surrogate in the older man's life. The smile widened on Hotch's face as they stared at each other.

Haley watched the interaction. She was glad that Aaron had somebody like Dave Rossi in his life. So was she. Rossi understood Aaron and could reach that part of him that he kept hidden, even from Haley. She didn't deny that a small part of her wasn't a bit jealous. But over the past few weeks, she had begun to understand the level of caring the entire team had. And for that she was grateful. Because a good part of that caring involved watching her husband's back, and making sure he returned to her alive and in one piece.

The following week, Hotch underwent plastic surgery to repair his face. Haley and Rossi accompanied Aaron as he was wheeled on a gurney by nurses' assistants from the elevator once it had reached the surgical floor. They followed the gurney into the surgical unit, only to be stopped by nurses as the doors to the surgical unit automatically hissed open. These rooms were off-limits to the public. Understanding, they reluctantly went to the surgical waiting area where they found the rest of the team already seated. Haley was glad they were there today because she didn't want to be alone.

While it was true that plastic surgery was a simple enough operation, something could still go wrong. What if Aaron's face couldn't be fixed this time? What if the scars were permanent? While she was well aware Aaron wasn't a vain man concerned with his looks, permanent scars on his face would affect him emotionally thus creating more problems for him. She glanced around the room at the others. They were all concerned about her Aaron, and she needed their collective strength. Rossi, sensing this, sat beside Haley and gripped her small hand in one of his big ones. Her eyes shifted to his face, and found him watching her.

"He's gonna be fine, Haley," Rossi told her with a smile.

"I know, Dave. I just worry about him. I love him so much. I can't picture my life without him."

"And that love is gonna help get him through this."

"You just keep telling yourself that," Garcia said from her seat beside Morgan across from Haley. "Boss-man's gonna be just fine. You need to believe that. Hotch wouldn't leave you, mini-Hotch, or us for anything." She saw Haley smile at her.

"Thank you, Penelope."

"Hotch is a fighter," Morgan added. "He doesn't let anything stop him. And he's been through this plastic surgery ten years ago because of Armitage."

Haley bowed her head and nodded. "But I still worry. What if something goes wrong this time?" She looked up, her eyes brimming with tears.

"There are several things which can happen during any surgery," Reid began. "Infection, poor reaction to anesthesia, and many others. In fact, with plastic surgery, anesthesia-related complications are the leading cause…"

"Morgan's right, Haley," JJ interrupted quickly. "Besides, Armitage cut up Hotch's face before, and he came through that plastic surgery just fine."

"Yeah, he did," Emily tossed in while placing a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "And he was fine afterwards."

"That's what I was about to say…" Reid continued. "All surgery is not without risks. And plastic surgery is no different. There are only four concerns. A patient doesn't tolerate general anesthesia well. A poor cosmetic outcome. Scarring. And nerve damage or numbness. In that case, nerves may be damaged or severed. The result is more obvious if it's a facial nerve. The outcome can be an inability to make facial expressions or the drooping of the eyes called ptosis, or the mouth."

Haley stared at the young genius, frightened. Her grip on Rossi's hand tightened hearing Reid's description. The senior agent stared at the younger man. "Nice going, Reid," he replied a bit harshly. "Why don't you scare everybody?"

Reid looked at the others, and saw everybody staring at him disapprovingly. He didn't understand what it was he had said wrong. His hazel eyes fell on Haley and saw a tear roll down her face.

"What did I say?" he asked Emily who sat beside him. He truly was puzzled as he had only told the truth about the cons of plastic surgery. What could be wrong with that?

Prentiss punched his arm but not too hard.

"Owww," Reid replied rubbing his arm and looking at Prentiss with narrowed eyes. "What was that for, Emily?"

"That was for putting thoughts in Haley's mind that weren't there at first about Hotch's surgery. Nice going, genius."

Reid abruptly turned toward Haley and saw another tear run down her face. "There's no need to worry," he apologized. "I mean, none of what I said will happen to Hotch. He doesn't smoke. He's healthy as an ox I believe the saying is. And he's in excellent condition. In fact, there are only two possibilities. Disfigurement and scarring as a result of the surgery going wrong. But I don't see either of those things happening either."

Garcia, clutching Morgan's arm, rolled her eyes towards the heavens while Morgan closed his eyes and shook his head.

"No. No. No, Reid.'

"What did I say now?"

Morgan looked up at him. "Forget it, kid. Just promise me one thing. Stop with the probabilities and any statistics."

Reid looked at his boss's wife. "Sorry," was all he managed. He bowed his head and stared at his fidgeting hands.

Haley wiped her eyes with her free hand. She understood from Aaron that Reid only spoke in terms of statistics and probabilities and had difficulty relating to others in any other way. He was better than he was in the beginning. But he still understood only one way to relate. Haley smiled at the young agent, understanding he meant no harm.

"It's okay, Doctor Reid. Really. I understand you were trying to say you care about Aaron as much as we do."

Reid straightened in his chair, and allowed a small smile to appear. He didn't respond verbally, but his eyes said all he wanted to convey.

Everybody continued to wait for several hours which felt, to those waiting, more like a year. Haley's head was resting on Rossi's shoulder while clutching his hand. Garcia clung to Morgan's arm. JJ was holding one of Emily's hand tightly in hers, while her other elbow rested on her thigh, her jaw resting on a clenched fist. And Reid was leaning forward in his chair with arms on thighs, staring at his hands. Everybody but Haley was involved in their own thoughts when the doors of the operating unit hissed open. A surgeon walked out, his green surgical garb stained with blood. He held a chart in his hands.

"Family of Aaron Hotchner?" he announced looking around the room.

Rossi nudged Haley, and everybody got to their feet.

"It's Agent Hotchner, doctor," Rossi corrected him. He glanced at Haley. "And this is Mrs. Hotchner."

Seeing the doctor hesitate, Haley spoke.

"Doctor, whatever you have to say, you can say in front of these people. They are his family as well."

Somehow the surgeon doubted that declaration, but didn't argue the point as he had permission from the wife of his patient. "Very well. And I stand corrected. Agent Hotchner came through surgery with flying colors as they say. Everything went well. I see no reason there should be any complications. I will even go as far as to say I expect a full recovery. Nor will there will be any scarring whatsoever. His recovery period will be about two weeks."

There was a collective sigh of relief, and smiles appeared. Haley's eyes were as bright as the smile on her face.

"Can we see him?"

"He's being moved to recovery right now. In a few hours, he will be moved back to his room on the fourth floor. I will have somebody inform you when he's back in his room so you can visit him. Right now, I suggest you all get something to eat and relax."

"Thank you, doctor," Rossi told him.

The surgeon smiled, glad he had been able to deliver good news to this group who obviously cared very much for his patient. He turned and walked away leaving the group to talk among themselves.