Ello children. I'm back.
And look what I brought for you!
Paragraphs in Italics are flashbacks
She was perched on his workbench, while he finished mixing a potion. Looking around with big, curious eyes while swinging her legs restlessly. It had barely been five minutes, but her expression made it seem like she had been made to wait for an eternity. Bored and anxious, she tried to make conversation with the only living being in the room.
"So you're the King's Physician?"
"I'm the Court Physician." corrected Gaius, not looking up from the tube in his hand.
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"Not quite, child. Being the Court Physician, I treat not only the King, but the rest of Camelot's citizens as well." He shuffled its contents a bit.
"Oh. That must be a very uhh rewarding job."
"It is."
"Have you always wanted to be a physician?"
"Yes."
"Ever since you were a child?"
"Yes."
"How did you know that?"
"You ask quite a lot of questions, don't you?" Gaius finally looked away from his work to raise an eyebrow at the little girl.
"I'm a very curious person."
"So I've noticed." He went back to mixing his potion.
""You didn't answer my question."
""Of course. I'm sorry My Lady. I forget what it- oh yes. About how I knew I wanted to be physician, was it?""
"That's correct."
"I've always known I wanted to help people. To relieve them of their discomfort. And I've always held an interest in science and healing."
"Are they the same? Healing and Science?"
"Well, yes. Healing is a kind of Science."
"Isn't it like magic?"
Gaius nearly dropped his tube. "No, Milady." It's purely science. Based on facts and figures. And for your own safety, Milady, you must never mention magic in this castle. It is forbidden by the King."
"Why?'
"Because magic is dangerous. And its wielders are evil."
"All of them?"
"Yes. All."
"Father, what is this? You've sentenced Morgana to death? Morgana?" Arthur barged into his father's chambers to find him somberly looking out the window.
"Yes, I have. She has shown clear signs of possessing magic and practicing sorcery. I believe you were present in the Great Hall when the incident took place." Uther replied without turning his head to acknowledge Arthur.
"I was but, shouldn't we think this through? Give it time? Try to understand her motives, her circumstances? I refuse to believe that Morgana could actually mean any harm to us." Arthur was adamant to make his father see reason.
"Then you're a fool. A sorcerers motives always have to do with causing harm, and gaining power."
"Fathe-"
"Sorcery… changes people, Arthur." Uther interrupted his son, "That is not the Morgana you know. Or at least, she won't be for much longer. With her magic.. she is capable of destruction and evil beyond your imagination. She…" Uther broke off with a heavy sigh, his body nearly wracking with a sob, but held on "For the safety of this kingdom, for mine and most of all your safety, she cannot be allowed to live."
Arthur scoffed disbelievingly "Cannot be..!" Cannot be allowed to live?! Since when do you hold the power over life and death? Since when do you get to decide who should and shouldn't be allowed to live?!
"SINCE I AM KING! As I have been for nearly thirty years! So understand when I say I know what's best for this kingdom. Morgana is not the first person I've sacrificed for the good of my nation and she certainly won't be the last." Uther's expression softened just a bit " I know this is hurting you, son. And you cannot imagine what this decision is doing to me. But I…" Uther gripped the sides of Arthur's face, "You are my greatest treasure. And the future of this kingdom. I cannot bear to lose you. Trust me, Arthur. I'm only doing this to protect you. To protect the kingdom. You'll thank me for this one day."
"You've gone mad."
Uther dropped his hands and took a step back with a hard scowl on his face.
"Mad I may be, but I am still your king. And my decision is final. There isn't anything you, or anyone else can do to change that."
"HEAR, HEAR!" Bertha was startled by the loud, familiar voice on her way home from the sweetbread her daughter had been asking for all week. After yet another day of backbreaking work, she was looking forward to a peaceful evening and the joyous face of her baby when she gives her the surprise. "HEAR, noble people of Camelot! Uther's precious ward turned out to be a witch!"
"What?" His exclamation had piqued a passerby's curiosity, but others, it seemed, had about as little interest in the ravings of the unpleasant drunkard as she. "Shut up! Nobody wants to hear your mad ramblings" shouted another passing man.
Serves him right, thought Bertha. Was always a nuisance and hasn't changed at all.
"Hah! You won't be saying that when you all crawl to the town square to watch her execution like the sick little rats you are! I've heard it with me own ears! The Lady Morgana is a witch! No wonder she's so beautiful! She must be using sorcery to keep such lovely form and deceive us all with her fake benevolence. Lord knows what she's been up to, right under the King's nose, probably bewitching the Prince each and every day, that sneaky little devil's WHOR-"
The rest of his words died out as he felt the crushing force of a fist against his jaw that sent him knocking against the ground.
"Take that filth elsewhere. Until the announcement is made official, you don't get to spread any rubbish ideas among the people."
A grunt from the man on the ground.
The knight roughly lifted him by the collar and barked in his face "Am I clear?!"
"Yes". The man wheezed. "Yes."
"Good. If I hear about you creating a commotion again, you'll be thrown into the dungeons."
Having witnessed the entire event, Bertha now turned back and practically ran back to her house before slamming the door shut. She shut her eyes tightly, hardly daring to believe what she had just heard.
No. It couldn't be. The King couldn't possibly murder his own ward.
Or maybe he could.
In Bertha's own experience, the King was a merciless, short sighted, misogynist, delusional and unjust man. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that he wasn't above this kind of atrocity. He would be ready to watch The Lady Morgana die if that is what it took to uphold his precious laws.
Bertha didn't know if she could, though.
"Arthur. Arthur, say something, please."
The fiasco in the courtroom had shaken the entire population of Camelot. But no one was more shaken than Arthur and Guinevere. The girl that they'd grown up with, someone that they'd known their entire lives and was as much a part of them as the hands attached to their body was a witch.
Someone may as well have told Arthur that the Sun rose in the West or that he had donkey ears. That would have been more believable. Had he not seen the proof with his own two eyes he would never have believed it, and probably challenged anyone who suggested it to a duel. How? And why? Why would she do it? Why would she choose to learn magic? Why would she choose to involve herself with such evil? Morgana was one of the most just and morally correct people he knew. Why would she choose to be a witch?
Unless it was all an act? Was she evil from the beginning and just hid it well?
Wait, what?
What was he thinking? Did he really care so little for Morgana that he was so cavalierly able to doubt her sincerity at the first sign of sorcery? No. He couldn't do that her. Wouldn't do that to her.
All his life, he had been taught that sorcery was the greatest of all evils. Or rather, the root of all evil. His father and his ideologies had had the strongest impact in his upbringing.
But if there was anything, or rather anyone else who could match up to that influence in his life it was Morgana. He may have already had a conscience, but it was Morgana who taught him to follow it. It was Morgana who challenged and encouraged Arthur to form his own opinions, even if they might not align with those of his father's. It was Morgana who had always been there, for as long as he could remember.
Not to get him wrong, he loved Guinevere more than life itself. He was sure of that. Guinevere's strong, wise and patient presence has helped him grow into a man he didn't know he was capable of becoming. But Morgana? Morgana is the one who has always, always been there – for as long as he can remember. She was the one who had filled the gnawing hole in his heart caused by his mother's absence since his childhood. She was the one who had filled in the role of the understanding family member that Uther never could. His father has already made up his mind, and expects him to follow in his footsteps. Can he really do that? Can he condemn Morgana?
Just the thought of it – Of watching her being tied to a post, of watching the flames engulf his childhood companion made him shudder.
No!
He clenched his eyes shut, willing the horrifying vision away from his mind.
Just...no.
But... could he really go against his father's teachings for Morgana's sake?
His head was screaming and reminding him of his father's teachings, his legacy, of the continual magical attacks on Camelot, but his heart was having none of it. Go one way, and he might ruin his relationship with his father forever. Go the other and... he didn't even know. One thing was for sure - wouldn't be able to live with himself.
He looked into Guinevere's eyes – ice blue meeting chocolate brown. "We're not going to let her die, Guinevere. We're going to save Morgana."
Gwen's beautiful face lit up with a smile at that. Despite that the tears of fear and despair in her eyes had not yet dried, she felt instantly more confident about this hopeless situation. Although she had faith in her Arthur, there was a silver of doubt that couldn't help but creep in. For a moment she was afraid that the part of him that was Uther's son would win out and there would be no hope.
But now – she so relieved and so, so proud of him for choosing the right thing. It didn't solve everything, of course. But with Arthur by her side, she knew it was only a matter of time till they figured out a way to save their friend.
His chambers were a mess, and were about to dissolve into an even worse mess if something wasn't done as soon as possible. Gaius had just been working on what was a revolutionary and if it worked, priceless potion. However, a slight push and the alcohol had mixed with the valerian and behold - a rapidly growing, uncontrollable fire.
Luckily for him, he saw tiny pale hands struggling to grasp and lift a giant basket and poured the wite powder all over the fire. It died down almost completely in an instant. Gaius stomped his foot on the remaining tiny flames for good measure. He down at the little girl who'd just rescued him and possibly saved his chambers.
Morgana was trying to dust off the white monstrosity from her velvet purple dress in vain. She looked rather put off at the thought of ruining it. Gaius chuckled at that observation. She was an oddly endearing mix of such incongruous attributes.
"Thank you, lady Morgana."
Morgana whipped her head at his voice. Big green eyes locked on his as if she was suddenly reminded of the fact that he was there too.
"Oh! Gaius! Are you alright?"
"I'm alright, milady. Just a mild burn on my han"
"You're hurt? Oh dear, I should have been quicker!"
"I'm fine, really."
"No." For one so tiny, her voice carried a lot of authority. "You should sit on the chair over there and I'll be just a minute." He raised an eyebrow but did as she asked. She gracefully trotted over to the cupboard and pulled out the medicine box before bringing it back to him and kneeling in front of him. She surprised him even further when she picked out the exact right paste for burns and started applying it on the back of his hand where he'd been burned. He honestly wondered where she'd managed to learn all that.
"Observation, Gaius." She told him with a blinding smile when he'd asked her the same. "I see what you do whenever I come here and I just remember."
Gaius raised an eyebrow, feeling there was more to it than that.
"And, well, I.."
"And you what, Milady?" Gaius prodded.
"Please don't get mad, but I take your books to my room to read sometimes." Morgana confessed, feeling ashamed to admit it.
"You steal my books?"
"Not steal! Just borrow." Even though she wanted to believe her own words, Morgana knew somewhere that what she had done hadn't been right.
But it's not as if she had a choice! She really wanted those books! There was nothing of their sort in the library, and even if there were, Geoffrey would never let her have them, thinking her too young or too dim to understand.
"Taking someone's things without their permission is stealing, my child. Whether you return it later or not. Why couldn't you have just asked for them?"
Having Gaius' stern but understanding face staring down at her was the last straw, though. Morgana was rebellious and stubborn, but not unreasonable.
"I'm sorry." She apologized, her eyes firmly locked on the floor. "I just thought you wouldn't give them to a child if I asked. You might think I'll damage them."
"Nonsense, my lady. You're one of the most responsible and graceful people I know. I'm sure you'll treat my precious books with care. Now, I'm more than willing to lend you my books, as long as you inform me everytime you do so. And feel free to ask me about anything you might not understand or want explained further."
"Really?" Her face brightened up at that. "Thank you, Gaius!"
She hugged him then and Gaius chuckled as he hugged her tiny form back.
Gaius.
Gaius!
"Huh?"
Gaius was brought back to the present by hands waving in front of his face and his ward's worried face staring down at his.
"Gaius, what-... are you alright?"
It was only then that Gaius realised his eyes were misty and he had been crying.
He hastily brushed the tears off and gave Merlin what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "I'm fine, must've been leaning on my chair the wrong way. It happens when one does that."
"Gaius."
"It's natural. A bit of extra pressure on one side triggers the tear ducts and-"
"Gaius!"
"I know you were thinking about Morgana."
Gaius sighed, "Merlin."
"I can see how much this is affecting you. How much it's affecting everyone."
"Where is this going, Merlin?"
"Where it should! Look, we have to think of a way to save her. If she means so much to everyone then why aren't we?! If this were Arthur then would you have been stopping me?"
As much as Gaius would have wanted to right then, He couldn't lie. Not with Merlin's earnest blue eyes boring into his – begging him to speak the truth.
"No. I wouldn't."
"Then why? Why have we resigned ourselves to this situation? Why does she not deserve to be saved? Why are we mourning for her as if she's already dead?!"
There had been many times in Gaius' life when he'd felt old, so very old and so very helpless with the situation. When Ygraine died, when the Purge happened, when he lost Alice, and now finally when Morgana has been condemned to death. He braved through all of that not knowing what it was for. There were many a times when he felt like he had betrayed himself and did not deserve to live. Now, looking at Merlin he realises that it was all for this. All to mentor and care for this one boy. This brilliant, precious boy who, along with Arthur is going to shape a new world. Of peace, love and tolerance. Morgana was just another sacrifice that had to be made in order to protect that world.
That didn't make it any easier on his heart.
He knew if there was a god up there, If heaven and hell existed then he was certainly going to hell. His mind did nothing to ease him and kept replaying his memories of Morgana. He stared at the sleeping potion in his hand, and hoped he never gets a peaceful night after she dies. He doesn't deserve it.
"Because there's nothing you can do to help her. The sooner you accept that, Merlin, the sooner you'll be at peace."
Lies. Gaius has never been at peace. And never will be.
With that he rushed out of the door, quickly informing Merlin that he had to go get some supplies, unable to look at the accusing eyes of his ward any longer.
"Food."
The knight stared at the plate in his hand before looking menacingly at the servant.
"For me? How sweet."
Before the obnoxious gaurd could steal the plate Merlin pulled it away from him. "This is for the Lady Morgana."
"The Lady, eh? Don't you mean, the witch?"
The only other person to have ever called her that was the dragon. In the same tone, too. It didn't sound right to Merlin then and it sure didn't sound right now. The dragon was a giant fire breathing reptile that had mentored Merlin for years. But even that hadn't stopped Merlin from wanting to hurt the dragon the first time he called Morgana an "evil witch". This man was human. A pathetic, corrupt human hiding his true seld behind the knight's armor. Who was he to talk about Morgana like that? What did he even know about her? All the knights were divided into two kinds of men. Those smitten with her for her surface beauty or those who resented her for either rejecting their advances or for boldly calling them out when they misused their title and authority. This arse seemed to belong to the second category.
"Let me go and deliver this to her, please." Merlin gritted out the last word.
"I'll save you the trouble. She's gon' be be dead soon anyway. What does it matter whether she dies with a full belly or a hollow stomach?"
"It matters a whole lot. She's the King's ward. The kind would have your head if he found out you were the one putting an obstruction to the Lady Morgana getting her food."
"Hah. The King could care less and you know that. He's the one who has sentenced her and she's no Lady right now, get that into your hollow skull, you idiot! She's nothing but a corrupt, evil witch who's been doing the devil's bidding in order to keep the entire court entranced by her cursed beauty!" He spat out the last word before continuing. "She's probably whored herself to him in exchange for knowledge of the black arts so she can destroy the King's empire from within. Now hand over the plate before I have to teach you a lesson about respecting one's superiors!"
The ramblings of the unruly knight came to an abrupt halt as he was punched right across the face. The force of the blow made him lose his balance and he tried to brace himself in vain for the inevitable fall.
"Another word, and I will take this to the king. And make sure that you will be headless before the Lady Morgana ever could set foot on the pyre. Get out of here and if I ever see you anywhere near her cells again, you will regret it."
The look in the other knight's eyes was murderous but he complied, understanding that he was at a disadvantage now.
In hindsight, Merlin was thankful that Leon had stepped in right then or else he was sure that his magic would have been revealed in that moment.
"Merlin, I'm sorry about him. He's always been a bit of a nuisance, but I had no idea he harboured such poisonous feelings towards the Lady."
"And you, Leon? You do not? Despite the knowledge of what she is?"
"I just... I don't know, Merlin. No matter what happens I have to respect and uphold my king's decisions. But that does not mean that I must turn into a barbarian in order to do so. She is a Lady, and she has always been a kind, respectful and gracious one. I cannot imagine her to be evil but I cannot presume to know more than my King on that matter."
Merlin, both relieved and disappointed at Leon's answer, just nodded. Leon nodded back and sidestepped to let Merlin pass and make his way to Morgana's cell.
Merlin found her curled up, laying on the cold hard ground in a fetal position. She now adorned a simple light green woollen dress with her hair still loose. It made his heart hurt to see her like that – the once proud and powerful lady reduced to such hopelessness. The shackles had already made angry red marks on her delicate wrists. He could hardly bear to look at them.
"Milady."
She opened her eyes.
"Good to see you, Merlin."
"I brought you food."
"I'm not hungry. Thank you."
"Please, Milady. You haven't had anything all day. You need to eat."
Morgana snorted, "For what? What does it matter if a convicted prisoner is executed with a full belly or a hollow stomach? Or is Uther planning to stuff me like a chicken before roasting me on the pyre?"
"Oh god, you heard that?"
She let out a low snort "That knight wasn't exactly whispering."
"Morgana, I'm so sor-"
"Why are you apologizing?" Morgana furrowed her eyebrows.
"Because you had to hear that."
"You weren't the one who said it, Merlin."
"Still, I... I feel responsible for it. Don't-" Merlin sucked in a breath
Under normal circumstances, Merlin would never have been the one to initiate such contact. There had always been something unspoken between them. A sort of an understanding, a strange comfort they found in each other's presence and most of all, a desire to get to know more about the other. They always pulled back before they got too close, though. It was mostly him. He was the one who had so many secrets. Morgana had always been so raw and honest and always seemed a hair's breadth away from laying herself bare before him. It was always him who had to take a step back, before he got lost in her tide and ended up spilling all his secrets.
But now he realised that he regretted it. He regretted all those opportunities he missed to share his true self with her. To show her the true wonder that her gifts were. To alleviate the loneliness he knew she must have been feeling. And maybe, just maybe if he had started teaching her all those months ago perhaps it would never have come to this. She wouldn't have done what she did in the Great Hall and Aredian would have had nothing to condemn her with. He closed his eyes, cursing himself for not helping her out of his own cowardice, therefore inadvertently leading to this.
He reached through the bars and covered her soft and with his own calloused palm. "Don't you ever let those things get to you. You are the most kind, just, brave, intelligent and honest woman I know. I know for a fact that there is no evil in your heart. People like him, people like Uther, Aredian – they're vile and ignorant and they choose to be like that. They choose to stay in their little bubble of prejudice if it suits them. Don't let their hate get to you, Morgana. Don't ever let them change you."
Morgana gave a watery smile at that.
"Don't worry, Merlin. I won't. Besides, there won't be any time for me to change anyway." She chuckled at the bittersweet thought.
"Don't talk like that!"
Morgana jumped at his shout, so uncharacteristic of Merlin.
"Just...please, Morgana. Don't talk like that about yourself. Don't give up hope. Please."
Merlin choked on a sob at the last word.
Morgana didn't understand. She didn't understand why he was so devastated at the thought of her dying. It wasn't as if they were very close. His actions when she had first found out about her magic had been very sweet, but only those of a good friend and a helpful man. And recently his distance had made it clear that, for whatever reason, he didn't think much of her anymore. So why now?
She was being ridiculous. He was a sweet, sensitive man. He would cry like that for any friend. Even if it was one like her, who had only ever put him in danger and asked him for help. She realised that she had been quiet for too long and Merlin was beginning to look even more hopeless than before. She pulled her hand from under his palm only to put it back on top of his, gently caressing it with her thumb.
"I won't lose hope, Merlin."
Merlin managed to smile through his tears, and pulled out Morgana's hand through the bars to place a kiss on her fingers.
"I know things seem hopeless, Milady. But we will find a way. Do you hear me? We will."
And for that moment, Morgana believed him.
That's all, folks!
Next chapter we get an insight into what's going on in Gwen's mind, Uther and Morgana have a chat, and we find out what's really the deal with Bertha!
Kay I'm not gonna lie, this one really seems kinda rushed but It's been 4 million years and this story just needed to be updated. So here y'all are. Also giant thank you and virtual cookies for all the reviewers for my first chapter - Patty 4577 (Awaiting your story update too, btw!), Meri Ley, Darthas, Weskirk1, Biaa Black Potter, Maria Gaani, Guest, Adele, Lord Lelouch, SherlockHolmes4884, Maria Le Fey, Xlnt, Guest. (Gotta say I'm kinda disappointed you guys didn't carry out your death threats)
And bear hugs to each and every one of the followers - all 52 of them after the very first chapter! Thank you so, so much. I hope you continue to enjoy this story and all that is to come.
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Until the next chapter!