Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Warning: This chapter does contain lemon.
The house had changed so much since Paul had last seen it. He had made a point never to come to this side of the Reservation so that he would never have to see it and face the memories that came along with it. He noticed that the ground around the porch was bare; he would talk to his dad about putting some grass seed down. There was a time when his dad had taken great pride in how the yard looked and he found it hard to believe that he would let it get that way.
The banisters on the porch were loose and he was tempted to go around back and get the tools from the shed to fix it. He stopped himself when he remembered that it wasn't his job to do that anymore. The top stair creaked under his weight making him shake his head in dismay. He noticed that the door needed a fresh coat of paint as he stepped up to it. He knocked lightly, hearing voices on the other side.
His aunt was the one who answered the door. She took him in with a smile once she had let him in. He let her pull him in for a hug and he hugged her half hardheartedly.
"You turned out to be so handsome. Doesn't he look like Dad, Tom?"
"He does," his dad said with a nod.
Tom and Jay sat at the small table in the corner that he had done his homework at every night. His parents' bedroom door was open at the end of the hall off the side of the room.
"She's in the bedroom if you want to go back." Sadie said, giving him an encouraging look.
"You don't have to if you aren't ready," Jay said.
They were complete opposites; that was what he loved most about them. He needed to strengthen his resolve before he went back there. He was already regretting telling Bella that he wanted to come by himself.
"Where is your wife?" Sadie asked.
"Bella is working."
"Bella, what a pretty name," she said with a wistful smile.
"Maybe next time," Tom said.
"It's good to see you Paul. It's not even your birthday," Jay joked.
Paul smiled, glad that his uncle was there to break the ice. He'd made it half way down the hall when his mom started to cough. It sounded like she was hacking up a lung. Then again, she did have throat cancer, so technically she was hacking up her lungs. He stopped a few feet from the door, debating on if he should go in.
"Paul?" His mother asked.
He stood at the door taking her in. She was propped up by at least five pillows. She was as thin as he had ever seen her. Her face was gaunt, he could see the bones of her cheeks and her eyes which now had circles as dark as night underneath them had lost their luster.
"Come in, let me look at you," she said lifting an arm to wave him in.
Paul sat in the rocker by the window. There was at least ten feet of space between them, but he didn't feel like that was a safe distance. He shouldn't hold a grudge against her, she couldn't hurt him anymore. She probably couldn't even get out of bed without help.
"You've grown," she said quietly.
"You've missed out on a lot more than that," he said, not able to look like her.
"You've joined the new pack?"'
His head shot up, looking at her wildly before recovering seconds later.
"I guess I should have told you that Pop was a member of Ephraim Black's pack."
Her grandfather Emanuel had been a former pack member?
"Isn't the gene passed down from father to son?"
"You were the first male born into the family since him."
"How can you tell?" he asked credulously.
"I may be sick but I am not deaf or blind. Sam has been coming by here to help out since your dad came back. He didn't tell me that you had joined though. I had hoped that it wouldn't happen. You don't need added stress; I put too much on you as a kid."
"Is that your way of apologizing?" he asked bitterly.
"I regret treating you the way that I did. I told myself that I wouldn't turn into the monster that your Grandpa Miller was. I let things get out of control; you were just acting out because you wanted my attention. You probably won't be able to forgive me, but I am sorry."
"Then why have you avoided me for the past four years?" he asked pointedly.
"I was ashamed. I didn't think that you would want to see me. I haven't had a drink in over a year," she answered quietly.
"I told myself that I would never let myself turn out the way you did. I may not drink, but I couldn't escape inheriting your temper," he said with a harsh sigh.
"I'm sorry," she said as tears welled up in her eyes.
"Me too, unlike you, I am doing something about it. Being a part of the pack has changed me. Then I met my wife, and I now feel like I'm finally whole."
"You're married?"
"We got married a couple of weeks ago."
"How long have the two of you been together?"
"Five months."
"Your dad and I only knew each other for a few weeks before we got married," she said with a sad smile.
"I know."
"Are you happy?"
"As happy as I can be," he said with a shrug.
"You don't hate me?"
"I did up until yesterday. I can't be mad at you now," he said with a shake of his head.
"I wish that your Dad had had a chance to make amends before your Grandfather died."
"Was he really that bad?"
"I was exactly like him," she confirmed.
"Why did you let it happen?"
"I was angry and bitter; I was left to care for you for months on end by myself. I was crying out for attention in my own way. It all happened so fast and I wasn't able to stop it."
He nodded accepting the answer that she had given him. He had always wondered what had driven his mother to spiral out of control. He had never thought that his dad's being away was the cause of it.
"I'm glad that you came. I'm just sad that it has to be on these terms."
"Yeah, me too," he said with a sigh.
"You aren't going to hug me, are you?"
"What are you, crazy?" he asked giving her a credulous look.
She had never hugged him before, why would she start now?
"You are my son," she said with a light laugh.
"The only person I have ever hugged willingly is Bella."
"Bella is your wife?"
"Yes."
"Is she good to you?" she questioned.
"She's the best thing that has ever happened to me," he answered with a crooked smile.
"Good, you deserve to be happy."
His dad stood just outside the door listening to their conversation. He had never known that Marisol had felt the way she had about his being gone so much, but he should have. Things would have turned out completely different if they had tried a little harder to be a normal family. None of that could be undone now, he was just glad that they were working to bring themselves back together. They had been apart for far too long.
XXXX
Paul sat on the porch with Bo at his side watching the sun go down. The sky was a prism of purple, yellow, blue, and pink. He loved ending his day like this; he liked it even more when Bella was with him. She wouldn't be home for another half an hour. The sun disappeared behind the trees, not to be seen again until morning.
Paul stood and Bo followed him into the house. He stood at the refrigerator with the freezer door open, looking for something to take out for dinner. He couldn't cook to save his life; he had lived off of ramen noodles, scrambled eggs, fried chicken and steak growing up because neither of his parents could cook either. He left the cooking to Bella, but he did take the time to get something out to thaw.
He was in the bedroom when the front door opened. Bo's nails could be heard clicking across the floor slowly and he shook his head with a smile. He couldn't even get off of the bed before the dog had gotten all of her attention.
Bella came into the bedroom and he watched her as she toed off her shoes and changed out of her clothes. She pulled on a pair of short pajama shorts and a cami before sliding into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist with a sigh. She threaded her fingers through his hair after placing her head on his shoulder.
"I never want to turn out like my parents," he said quietly.
"I don't think anyone sets out to be like their parents."
"My parents are just now getting it right and it's too late."
"Do you think your mom is going to die soon?"
"I know she is. My dad is doing everything he can for her, but he should have done something a long time ago."
"Like when it started," she offered.
"Someone had to pay the bills. My mom refused to work and I wasn't old enough."
"I can see where you're coming from since you put it that way," she said with a nod.
"Not everyone was brought up the way you were brought up," he said evenly.
"I didn't say that."
"I know you didn't, I was just stating a fact," he said with a shrug.
"My life wasn't perfect. My mom would rather be my best friend than my parent. She never gave me rules or set boundaries for me. She told me when I was fourteen that she was okay with me having boys in my room and I could feel free to shut the door because she trusted me," she said using air quotes around the last two words.
"What about Charlie?"
"My Dad was there for me when he could be. He came down during the summer and at Christmas and I talked to him once a week. I'm like him in a lot of ways. I took care of my mom from the time I was twelve until she got married when I was sixteen. I made sure that the house was clean and that the laundry was done. I cooked dinner because if I didn't, we wouldn't have anything to eat. My grandmother lived with my Dad up until last year. She lives in a nursing home in town and my Dad and I go to see her on the weekends."
"Our lives weren't that different after all," he mumbled.
"Your dad didn't give you rules?"
"No. He let me do whatever I wanted, he felt that my mom had done enough damage and he didn't want me to go through what he had gone through with his dad."
"Was it weird going over there?"
"At first it was. The house has changed, and my dad has let the maintenance fall behind. I'm going to go over this week and fix the porch, paint the front door, and put grass seed down in the yard."
"Those are the kinds of things that a son should do for their parents," she agreed.
"Those are the kinds of things that Sam and Jake do," he said quietly.
"You're the one who said that not everyone had the life you did growing up."
"I know it's just that when I was growing up I wanted to be a part of Sam's family so bad. Now I find out that he has been in contact with my parents since I left."
"What?" she asked in shock.
"What else has he kept from me?"
"I'm so sorry," she said rubbing his back gently.
"My Great Granddad on my mom's side was a part of Jake's Great Granddad's pack."
"Really?" she asked in intrigue.
Paul nodded his head slowly, his mind still replaying what had happened that day. Did he really want his parents to meet Bella? He had been thinking about that a lot since his dad had brought it up just before he left. It wasn't that he didn't want her to be a part of that part of his life; he was more worried about his parents thinking that he was keeping her from them because he was ashamed of them.
"Do you want to come with me when I go over there?"
"Sure," she said before kissing his neck lightly.
"I think that we should stay in bed tonight," he said huskily.
"I think you're right," she agreed.
He lay down on the bed, pulling her with him and she lay over top of him with her hair creating a curtain over them. He brushed her hair over one shoulder silently, not breaking eye contact with her. This was the way that he wanted to spend his time with her, just the two of them. He could literally feel all the stress from the day melt away. She had a calming effect on him that no one else ever could.
He pulled her to him, letting all of her weight fall on him. His hands slid beneath the hem of her cami, pushing it up. His fingers brushed her skin gently, setting every place he touched on fire. She lifted her arms so that he could pull the thin material over her head before threading her fingers into his hair once more.
She leaned up on her elbows before reaching between them. Her hand slid down his stomach and into his basketball shorts without missing a beat. His hand blazed a trail down her side, pushing down her shorts, he growled impatiently when he realized that she was wearing underwear.
"Can't you make it easy for me, just once?" he said with a sigh.
"You might be comfortable going commando, but I'm not," she countered.
He pushed down the underwear, giving her an even look. She reached behind her to undo her bra one handed, and he gave her an agonized look when she pulled her hand away from his erection. To make up for the lack of contact she grabbed a condom from the nightstand. She tore it open with her teeth quickly before rolling it down his shaft.
She straddled him and he was inside her within seconds. He groaned in satisfaction as she set a slow pace. He would take his time, savor everything, please her, and let her know how much he appreciated her. There wasn't any reason that he shouldn't get something out of it too.
Her hair was still over one shoulder when she leaned down to brush her lips to his. His fingers slid into her hair again to keep her where she was. He loved the feel of her hair between his fingers. It was soft, like silk in his hands.
She pulled his bottom lip into her mouth, lightly sucking on it. His fingers pulled at her hair gently, letting her know that he enjoyed what she was doing. She nipped at his lip playfully, getting a sharp intake of breath from him in return. She opened her mouth for him and his tongue passed her lips forcefully. Their tongues dueled in a fight for dominance as she slowly moved up and down his shaft.
His hands left her hair to travel down her back. He stopped at the small of her back, urging her to go faster. She sighed with pleasure when he completely filled her. She pulled away from him and he gave her a look that let her know what he wanted. She lifted herself off of him to lean over the bed and he came to kneel behind her. He slid inside of her easily, continuing the pace from before. He placed his weight on one arm before reaching around her to caress her breast.
His fingers tweaked her nipples roughly, making her gasp. He liked that she could keep up with him with very little trouble. She knew exactly what he wanted without him having to say a word. She gave as much she took, she was comfortable letting him take control. His hands left her breast to glide over her taught stomach. She moved with him, never breaking stride. He hadn't known what he was missing before her because he hadn't needed anyone the way that he needed her. Now that he had her, he was never going to let her get away from him.
His arm snaked around her waist pulling her flush to him. She turned her head to kiss the corner of his mouth. He brushed her hair away from the back of her neck to kiss in between her shoulder blades. His fingers glided down her spine, chill bumps forming wherever he touched. Her back arched and her head came to rest in the hollow of his neck.
That gave him the opportunity to kiss along her jaw line and neck. Her breath quickened with every kiss he placed. He pulled out of her and she turned around before lying back against the pillows. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him to her. He was inside of her again within seconds. They found it hard to stay in one position while they made love, they usually changed positions at least three times during intercourse; it kept things interesting.
Their sweat slicked bodies moved together, causing an electrical charge to course through him. Every time with her was different; he learned something different about her every time they made love. Like now, her face was calm and serine, but he knew that once she was close her eyes would close and her lips would pull at the corners to form a pleasured smile. It was the most beautiful look she could ever give him.
He could feel his climax fast approaching, so he sped up his movements. Bella was able to meet his new pace after a few seconds and soon his breath was knocked out of him and he came with a grunt as his seed spilled into the condom. She sighed contently as her arms relaxed around his neck. Her eyes closed and the smile that he loved so much pulled at her lips. Her eyes fluttered open as he ran his fingers through her hair. His fingers left her hair to caress her jaw line then chin. She leaned into the touch once his thumb brushed over her bottom lip.
He pulled out of her then pulled off the condom and chucked it at the trashcan on the other side of the nightstand. He heard it hit the floor before rolling off of her, he would get it later. She turned over on her side, propping her head up with a hand. He lay on his back staring up at her. Everything about her was perfect and he made sure to tell her that in some way shape or form every day. He would never take advantage of her love for him.
He had never considered himself the sentimental type until her. Once he had met her everything had changed. He was not the same person he had been six months ago. Gone was the guy who was quick to start a fight with someone just because they were staring at him. He couldn't remember the last time he had threatened anyone other than Jacob. He was going soft and he wouldn't change it for a minute.