Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! Nothing at all… *sniff*
Please review, this is my first fan fiction!
The Doctor groaned as he returned to consciousness. His first thought was that he felt different. Then he opened his eyes. He… was in totally unfamiliar surroundings. Well, at least this isn't uncommon, he thought wryly. Then he realized that probably said something about him. As he regained all of his senses, he realized he was in a compartment in a moving train. "Not the TARDIS," he said aloud, "Can't feel her close by in fact-Blimey, my voice sounds way different!" His voice sounded indeed different-younger? He looked down at himself, and instead of a man wearing a pinstripe suit he was a child wearing… robes? What? And… if these were robes, what was in his pocket if not a sonic screwdriver? He pulled out a long, thin stick of wood. He could feel the power thrumming through it. He felt someone shift to his left.
"Doctor…" The person muttered. He whipped around. Next to him, a boy was blinking groggily. "You're Harry Potter!" The Doctor suddenly exclaimed. The boy sat up, awake now. "What? Where?" He looked around wildly. "You!" Exclaimed the Doctor. The boy stared at him. "I-what? Wait, you're Ron Weasley!" Now the Doctor looked around wildly. "Where! Wait, you mean me. WAIT! DOES THAT MEAN I'M GINGER?!" "Yes, you-wait, Doctor?" The boy looked closely at him. The Doctor looked back. "…Jack? Is that you? Am I really ginger?" "Yup." Jack replied. "…Blimey. Finally!" "Doctor, what happened? Where are we, why am I Harry Potter and why are you Ron Weasley?" The Doctor scrunched up his face, thinking very hard. Then he realized…
…"Where's Martha?" Jack gasped. "I don't know-you think she turned into Hermione?" "It's the only thing that makes sense," The Doctor said. "I think we're in the first book, so she should be coming here soon." Suddenly the doors burst open and Hermione Granger ran through them, looking upset. "Has anyone seen The Doctor? He wears-" "Martha! It's me, I'm the Doctor and he's Jack." "Doctor!" Martha shrieked and ran to hug him. The Doctor hugged her back, trying to be comforting. "It's okay, we're all here." "Alright," Martha said, stepping back and looking at everyone, "What the hell is going on, Jack why are you Harry Potter, Doctor why are you ginger, why am I Hermione?" "Yeah, why did this happen?" Asked Jack. The Doctor looked sheepish.
"We-ell, after I threw my banana peel into the collapsing star, I do believe it supernova-ed on us, and since the doors were open… the TARDIS must have gone into her Bibliocrisis emergency setting, and-" "What the hell is a Bibliocrisis?" shouted Jack and Martha. "Shush, watch your language, not so loud, there are definitely others on this train! A Bibliocrisis is basically a Metacrisis with a fictional book… A wibbly-wobbly-meldy-weldy-thing" he added hastily upon seeing Martha's face. "So, we're in the Harry Potter world?" Jack asked slowly. "Yep, that seems to be about it…" "Where's the TARDIS?" asked Martha, looking scared. The Doctor sighed. "We-ell, it's complicated. Since we bibliocrisised, we're still in the TARDIS physically. But in reality-yes, they're different things-we're here in the Harry Potter world. Now, I've bibliocrisised once before-mind you, Sherlock nearly went insane trying to figure out what happened to John-and so I'm pretty sure we'll get out by the end of this book, which I think is the Sorcerer's Stone." Silence followed this pronouncement. Then both Martha and Jack shrieked, "YOU BIBLIOCRISISED WITH THE SHERLOCK HOLMES BOOKS?!"
"Story for another time." said The Doctor hastily. "…" Suddenly Martha grinned. "So, can we just go into the teacher's car now and unmask Quirrell, or are we going to have to re-enact the whole book exactly the way it happened?" "I don't think we could pull an exact re-enactment off, thanks to Captain Flirt here. But we can't just ignore the plot-me and Sherlock tried that as an experiment- so… we'll just have to pretend the best we can, but it's no problem if some minor details are changed. It's basically timey wimey, but in a book." "So even if Jack flirts with everyone, it's okay?" Asked Martha nervously. "NO, that is not okay!" Said The Doctor sternly. "Jack, no flirting or I'll cast a spell on you." Jack raised his eyebrows. "…Aren't Hermione and Harry supposed to be better spell casters than Ron?" asked Jack, smirking. In response, The Doctor aimed his wand at Jack and said, "Rictumsempra!" Jack immediately started laughing. "Stop… that… that tickles… AUGH!" The Doctor now grinned. "It's called magic, but it's really telekinetics and willpower. And no one has more willpower than a Time Lord!" He finished triumphantly. He then conjured a mirror and looked into it. "I really am ginger! Finally! Always wanted to be ginger, you know…" "We know." Said Martha and Jack together, Jack having gotten over the tickling spell.