Disclaimer: Lemme check… Nope. Still own nothing. Oh well.
Sorry for the total inconsistency between chapter size!
The Doctor, Jack and Martha sat in their compartment practicing spells for a little while. Martha had just reclaimed her trunk with Accio and they were now making up spells with mashed-up Latin and eating food Jack bought from the cart. Suddenly, Martha sat up straight and looked at The Doctor, looking slightly puzzled.
"I'm Hermione Granger." She said with wonder. "Yes you are!" The Doctor happily exclaimed. "We're on a train going to Hogwarts, which doesn't exist." "Yup." "We're laying on the TARDIS's floor physically, and we're only in this made-up world, which is real, because you dropped a banana peel out of the TARDIS." The Doctor considered. "Pretty much." Martha looked at Jack incredulously. "How is this even…Why are we just… Jack, how are you not confused?" Jack looked at her, raising his eyebrows. Then he smirked. "Because as things go, this isn't even in my top 10 list of crazy things I've done." The Doctor nodded sagely. "Well said. Now, if I do recall correctly, there is a sort of perception filter on us (Sherlock was too much of a genius for it to work), so our 'families' will still see us as one of them." Jack's eyes suddenly got huge, and he sat up straight. "Don't you have two brothers who are twins, Doctor? The joke store ones?" "Fred and George! Jack, you're right! Ooh, I wonder what they're up to. They're ginger too, I bet. Have I told you guys I always wanted to be ginger? In all my regenerations, I've never been ginger." Martha raised her eyebrows knowingly at Jack as The Doctor babbled on about random, scienc-y things. "He should have been Hermione. She's the smart one, and that's The Doctor all right." "Oi!" The Doctor shouted. "I'm not a girl! Besides, me turning into Ron is an expression of my inner ginger-ness!" Jack and Martha sighed. "Riiiiight." "You know, I think the TARDIS turned him into Ron out of pity for his obsession with gingers." Martha said to Jack with a sigh. The Doctor sulked, which was interesting given he was currently 11 years old.
Just then, the doors slid open and everyone looked up. There, coming through the doors, was…Draco Malfoy, flanked by who they assumed were Crabbe and Goyle. "He's not at all bad-looking." whispered Jack admiringly to The Doctor. "Jack…" he started warningly, then stopped. "Actually, I give you permission to flirt with Draco Malfoy. Just please remember he is fiction." Jack grinned and stood up. Draco opened his mouth haughtily, but before he could get a word out, Jack stuck out his hand and gave his most charming smile. "He-llo, I'm Harry Potter, at your service. Who might you be?" Draco blushed because Jack was being that way. Apparently, even being fiction didn't stop Captain Jack Harkness from flirting. Martha and The Doctor looked on, interested. Jack winked at Draco, who sputtered and said, "I-you-I'm-I'm Draco Malfoy. I," he said, regaining some of his former haughtiness, "can see you haven't been hanging with the right sort of crowd. I could help you with that, you know. But don't stick around with the Weasleys. They're the wrong sort of wizard." Jack had been listening with his eyebrows raised. Then he smirked and said, "I can show you just how right the crowd I've been hanging with is." Draco, Crabbe and Goyle blanched simultaneously and fled the compartment.
"I cannot-believe-you just-flirted-with Draco Malfoy!" gasped Martha between giggles. The Doctor had laughed so hard he fell onto the floor, and Jack picked him up, also laughing. "It's just a pity it didn't work!" he said, making everyone laugh harder. The Doctor looked out the window as he got back in his seat. "Blimey, I think we're almost here! Everyone, you ought to change into your robes." "Yes, mummy," said Martha, still giggling. Martha left and went to change into her robes, and The Doctor talked seriously with Jack for a moment as he waited for Jack to finish. "Jack," he said, "You are going to have to at least try to act like Harry Potter does in the books, otherwise the reality will go all wibbly-wobbly and we might get ejected from it early, and I have no idea what will happen if we do. But it will be bad. So, try to be humble, okay?" "Got it, Doc," Jack said, smiling, "I may be immortal-I still am in the book, right? Yeah, thought so-but, I get that you guys… aren't. Besides, cosplaying is fun!" The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief. "Right, thanks-Martha, good to see you again! Remember guys, you have to answer to your new names, not your old ones, unless we're alone. Got it?" "Yes." Martha and Jack chorused as the train screeched to a halt. The Doctor grinned. "Right then! Allons-y!" He strode off with his confident walk, robes billowing much in the same fashion as his trench coat. Jack and Martha shared a grin, then followed him off the train.
Yes, Jack just flirted with Malfoy.
Please, please review! I have no idea what I'm doing otherwise, and this is my first try so I don't know if I'm horrible or not!