Doctor Who belongs to the BBC, Harry Potter belongs to J. K. Rowling, and… yeah, I got nothing. Oh well.

Jack got his broom in the mail two days later. "Yessss" the three cheered. Martha, surprisingly, was perhaps the best at flying next to Jack, and wanted to try his new broom. Jack found that his new broom was amazing, it followed his directions like it knew what he was thinking. He also found that Oliver Wood really was obsessed with early-morning Quidditch practice, as well as keeping Jack's skills a secret.

"So it's 4 in the morning, hail the size of peas, and Wood is telling me, 'come on, don't be a sissy! Just get back in the air!'" he complained to Martha and The Doctor over breakfast. They laughed. "Well, you ARE immortal!" pointed out Martha, grinning. The Doctor giggled. "Yeah, you've managed clinging onto the TARDIS in the middle of the Vortex, so what's a little hail?" All three of them laughed. The Doctor lowered his voice. "If you don't have too much homework, I have some fun planned. Courtyard at 5?" "YES," said Martha and Jack. "Life feels weird without running from aliens trying to shoot us," complained Martha. Jack nodded solemnly in agreement. "Well, we do have Professor Kitty."

After a long day, which included a very fun Transfigurations class in which The Doctor turned his beetle into all the different kinds of buttons he had encountered in the universe when the teachers' back was turned, Jack and Martha found themselves in the courtyard. The Doctor bounced up to them. "Follow me!" he said, grinning. They shrugged and hurried to catch up with the ginger figure already striding away.

"…Doctor?" "Yes, Martha?" "…Why are we in the Forbidden Forest?" The Doctor turned to the both of them and grinned his I-have-an-idea-which-may-get-us-killed grin. Martha and Jack both cringed inwardly. "I found the Acromantula colonies!" Martha and Jack stopped dead. "Ok," said Jack, taking a deep breath with his eyes closed, "First, that's not till next year. Second… they're giant bloody spiders that want to eat people!" The Doctor, still grinning, looked vaguely puzzled. "They're friendly enough once you talk to them. What's wrong?" Martha facepalmed and sighed. "Are you sure you're Ron and not Hagrid?" was all she asked. Not really having payed attention to the route they had taken there, Jack and Martha had no choice but to follow The Doctor, though they did so reluctantly.

They came to a clearing, and… a giant spider scuttled out from between the trees. John introduced him as Aragog, the chief/leader/whatever of the spiders. Then he introduced Martha and Jack to the rest of the clan.

Half an hour late, they were running for their lives through the woods, following John. "Running." huffed Martha. "Why. Is there. Always. So much. Running." "Remember this morning?" "Shut up Jack." The Doctor, meanwhile, was yelling at Jack. "His WIFE. You were hitting on Aragog's WIFE-why?! She's… WHY?" Jack was quite cross. "I haven't been flirting with anyone for almost a month! D'you want me to die, Doctor?" "Yes! And then I'll kill you again when you come back!" "…Fair point."

Many people wondered that day why Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger had bits of leaves and spiderweb stuck in their hair and robes, and why Ron and Hermione were angry at Harry. No one said stuff about it, though, after Ron cursed Draco Malfoy (then his two goons) when he made a snide comment. Being a ferret for a week didn't look like fun.

So… yeah. What, you thought Jack could turn off his flirting?

I JUST WATCHED REICHENBACH FALLS! WHAAAAHHHH THE FEELS

No, I don't care that it's unrelated. IT IS STILL JUST… WHYYYYYYY?!