Disclaimer: I still own nothing. *sighs*
ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO REVIEW. THANK YOU.
"Detention with Professor Bat!" groaned Jack. "Doctor, couldn't you have stayed out of trouble for once?" "I didn't think he'd take it that badly!" The three students were walking down the stairs to the dungeons, where their detention was to take place. "Also, just be grateful it's not with The Master. Or Cybermen. I once was put in a holding cell by some Cybermen. They have no sense of humor! Wouldn't sing along with me. Terribly rude, too-didn't accept any jelly babies." Martha facepalmed. "Doctor, please tell me you didn't offer Cybermen jelly babies!" "Why not? I offered a lot of people jelly babies back then." "They're metal!" "Shut up, guys, we're here at the dungeons!" Jack and Martha stepped through first, followed by The Doctor, who grinned cheerily at Snape, sitting at his desk with several vials of potion. "'Ello, here for a detention?" "Ah, yes." said Snape coldly, standing. "For detention, you will be categorizing the new supply of potions ingredients that came in yesterday. Don't forget to throw the unusable ones away. And no using magic." He smirked as Martha and Jack groaned in unison. The Doctor, however, didn't seem dismayed. Snape then went back to his desk and continued to grade the potions. "Okay, how are we going to do this in a reasonable amount of time?" muttered Jack. A fair question, as the box was huge. "I can't tell the different things apart!" wailed Martha. The Doctor smiled and winked. "I'll sort, you guys put them away into the cupboard." he whispered. "You sure you can do that by yourself?" asked Martha incredulously. The Doctor tapped his nose. "Humans have remarkably inept senses, wouldn't you say?" Without further ado, he opened the box full of ingredients (some of them still moving). He then proceeded to sniff an unidentifiable blob.
"Crocodile heart." He handed it to Jack, who walked over to the cupboard. He then pulled out another blob, this one slightly more yellow, and sniffed. "Spleen… cat? No, rat? Bat?" He then licked the spleen. "Bleah. Definitely rat." He handed this to a slightly disgusted Martha, who went over to the cupboard, where Jack was still hunting. "Where do the crocodile hearts go?" he muttered. Martha hastily deposited her rat spleen in the appropriate place and pointed to a high-up shelf. "Ah, thanks-he licked it, didn't he?" he sighed, seeing her expression. She grimaced and nodded. By the time they got back to The Doctor, he had a small pile of bones next to him, a slightly larger pile of what looked like seaweed, and was licking a very squishy blob. "Bones, gillyweed, and this one's a frog brain." he said, seeing them come over. He handed the frog brain to Jack, and Martha picked up the gillyweed. "It's slimy." muttered Martha. "You're one to talk." said a vaguely repulsed Jack.
The rest of the detention went in like fashion. The Doctor would sniff and occasionally lick different ingredients, put them into piles, and tell Jack and Martha what the piles had in them. He would pocket any rotten ingredients, as Martha found. "Doctor!" she hissed. "There's no such thing as a useless ingredient. Besides, extradimensional pockets!" By the end of merely an hour, The Doctor had sniffed, licked, and filched his way through the entire box. "Yesss!" they cheered, high-fiving and forgetting to be quiet. Snape looked over at them. "Done already… or did you fools think to lump everything together in the cupboard? Trying to be clever?" he practically snarled as he stalked over to the cupboard. He raised an eyebrow. "…Finished after all." He turned to the three students. "Headmaster Dumbledore wishes to see all of you in his office. Go immediately." He then walked back to his desk.
Outside of the dungeons, The Doctor frowned and stuck out his tongue. "My mouth tastes of preserving fluid and animal guts!" he wailed unhappily. Martha snorted. "Are you sure that was safe? Isn't most of that stuff poisonous?" The Doctor thought about this for a minute. "Well, yes, but only to you lot. I'm not human; very little short of actual on-purpose poison can hurt me, and even then not always." Accepting this answer, Martha and Jack continued on. "Wait!" cried The Doctor. They turned around. "Can you give me a second to wash this taste out of my mouth?" They nodded, and he rushed into the nearby bathroom. They heard a muffled "Aguamenti!", and Jack snorted. "Maybe he shouldn't have licked the dead things if they taste so bad!" Martha and Jack were still giggling when The Doctor, mostly covered in water, came out of the bathroom. "Bleah," he said, then saw them. "Are you guys laughing at me?"
They eventually came to the gargoyle statue. "…Crap! We don't know the password!" cried Jack. The Doctor walked up to the statue, and spoke words in a really weird language full of snarls. The gargoyle came alive and answered in a similar fashion. After a little while, it jumped aside. "Aren't these guys all so nice?" called The Doctor as he started up the stairs. "No one trying to kill me… They all actually listen… I know some guys who could take lessons from them!" They soon stood outside a door. "Remember, stay in character!" said The Doctor in a low voice. They all nodded, then entered.
Jack hadn't gotten a good look at the headmaster's study earlier. He noticed much more now. It was cozy, in a way. There were odd looking trinkets sitting around (which nobody in the group was a stranger to) as well as a cozy fire and some squishy chairs. Dumbledore was nowhere in sight, oddly. The Doctor was immediately drawn to an odd instrument on a stool. "Hello, you don't belong on Earth." he murmured, eyes shining. A soft, melodious note drew everyone's attention to a magnificent phoenix, resting on a perch. The Doctor nodded at it, putting down the instrument. "Yes, and so am I." A whistle. "It doesn't exist anymore. It never existed now…" he looked sad, and the bird cawed gently, soothingly. "Yes…Th-thank you, that really means a lot to me…" He was almost crying now, and the bird sang a glorious song. He looked up at it with wide eyes. "That-but-that's…" The phoenix continued to sing, and The Doctor closed his eyes and at some point sang along, with beautiful words in a lost language. Martha and Jack stayed hushed, awed. When The Doctor opened his eyes, he looked genuinely happy-the happiest Jack had seen him since… since Rose. The Doctor smiled. "Thank you, Fawkes. I will always remember."
He just then seemed to remember that Martha and Jack were there, and blushed. Fawkes whistled, amusedly. The Doctor looked at him and grinned. He then turned to Jack. "I quote: 'If your friend attempts to flirt with me, I will burn him to death twice and then peck his eyes out.'" Jack grinned and winked. "Can't blame a guy for trying!" Fawkes whistled again, then cawed. The Doctor looked confused. "Wall? Portraits? Wait, what?" He then turned and looked at the opposite wall, where portraits hung.
A man with curly black hair and a scarf so long it trailed into another frame was looking back, and smiled.
Weird stuff happening! Yay!
If you have ideas for scenarios, etc., of any kind, put it in a review or PM. I'll really try to make it work.