Eh, I felt like putting the smutty part in the next chapter. SO I CAN GLOAT ABOUT POSTING 3 CHAPTERS IN 2 DAYS XD GLOAT, GLOAT, GLOAT!

Hiccup rarely left Astrid's side as she lay bedridden and unable to do anything. He only got up to get her food or things to make sure she was comfortable. One more time to get his sketchbook so he could do something without leaving the bed.

Early next morning there was a knock at the door. Hiccup hoped it was Gobber, but it was unfortunately Snotlout. And Hiccup would much rather be with his wife than with Snotlout.

He was wearing his snotty, prideful grin on his face that made Hiccup know the average IQ in the area was about to drop. "Hey Hiccup, I just wanted to come and tell you that I volunteered to be the donor, so you don't need to worry about anything."

"Donor? For what?"

"Oh, you don't know? Well, don't worry, I'll take care of everyth…"

The author quickly wrote in Gobber, so Snotlout wouldn't ruin the surprise for the fans. "Oh, no ya don't, Jorgenson." He said sternly, hobbling over to the front door. "First off, you're not married to Astrid. Second, you aren't even supposed to be in this chapter."

"Awww, man," he pouted, before he promptly poofed away, having been deleted by the backspace button on the authors keyboard.

"Now that that's taken care of, I've got the stuff you need." He held up a medium sized pot with the lid on it.

"Oh, thanks Gobber. Come on in."

"So is this medicine edible enough that she wont have to hold her nose when she eats it?" Hiccup said as Gobber closed the door behind him.

Gobber sighed. "No, but she wont be the one eating it."

"What? Why not?"

"Look, lad. I didn't want to be the one to tell ya this, but I'm unfortunately the best one for the job," He set the pot down near the fire pit and continued, "Ya remember the story about the Bog Burglars and their epidemic with this disease?"

Hiccup nodded. "Oh right. You said you were going to tell me the details… Wait, do I really want to know this?"

"Its not much of a want as much as a 'need to know' situation."

Hiccup gave a deep breath and sat down in one of the living room chairs. "Alright then. Tell me what I need to know. Nothing else."

Gobber got right down to business. "Okay. Ya see, men never get this disease. No one knows why, but at some point, this remedy was figured out and it saved a lot of women. Legend has it that all the married women that got this disease survived it."

"Can you just get to the 'what the cure is' part, please? I want Astrid to feel better already."

Gobber's eyes narrowed. "I was gettin' to that part. In order to cure it, you need to eat this pudding… porridge… stuff. Then wait about an hour or so. Your body will do whatever it does to the food, and the byproduct will be the medicine Astrid needs."

"Wait, are you saying Astrid is going to have to eat my… That's disgusting!" Hiccup yelled, mortified that anything like that could qualify for anything other than being in an outhouse.

"No, no, its your seed, Hiccup!"

Hiccup was rendered speechless, so Gobber continued, "For some reason, the semen ends up containing the byproduct. Nothing else works, maybe because it only goes there once its made for some reason. Astrid will have to eat yours once your body has started creating the byproduct from the ingredients. What did you think I was talking about?"

Hiccup shivered from the thought of what he assumed Astrid would have to eat. "Don't ask."

BAM! I bet no one saw THAT coming. Medicinal jizz for the win! LOLOLOLOL

Next chapter: Hiccup does his duty as a good husband, and Heather helps Astrid get her "medicine."

BTW FYI I recently got a few rather odd guest reviews, so I think I should point this out. I am in fact a straight male.