So if you want me to write a sequel, say so when you review, I'll only write a sequel once I get 3 reviews though. So yeah hope you enjoyed reading my fic!
"Cas?" Castiel felt something touch his face, he wished it would go away, he wanted to stay in the darkness, next to Dean.
"Cas. Come on man, open your eyes." The voice sounded a bit panicked
So Castiel slowly opened his eyes, and saw Dean, his Dean, sitting up, looking at him with concern in those beautiful green eyes.
"Dean?" Cas's voice sounded rough and unused from grief
"Cas, whats wrong?" It was time to go back to hiding his feeling from Dean again, it would only make things more complicated between himself and Dean if he said anything.
"I'm fine, Dean." He lied quietly.
"No you're not." Dean looked at him with understanding. "Talk to me Cas." And that was so Dean, the Dean Cas had missed, it hurt deep inside his chest. Before he could think about it, Cas reached over, and hugged Dean tightly. Dean stiffened for a moment, then hugged him back just as tightly.
"You died." Cas said, all the grief pouring out of him, showing what he couldn't convey in his voice.
"I remember." Dean said softly
"You do?" Cas said in surprise pulling back from the hug.
"Yeah I do. I remember everything that happened after I become demon."
"So you remember what happened when you died." What Cas really wanted to know was if Dean remembered what Cas had said, in his desperation.
"I remember bits and pieces, it hurts when you die, Cas." Dean laughed bitterly. "The transformation from demon to human is not painless, I was being pulled apart then rearranged. It hurt so much, that I thought I wouldn't be able to make it."
"Then how, no what helped you survive?" Cas asked quietly, even tentatively.
"You." Castiel froze in surprise "I heard you Cas, telling me to wake up. To not give up on myself, and most importantly that you needed me." Dean smiled softly "Now I don't want this to turn into a chick-flick moment, but knowing that you of people needed me, made me strong enough to pull myself back together." Castiel was speechless, but he made an effort to speak anyway
"Well, um, uh-"
"Oh shut it Cas." Then Dean leaned forward and kissed Castiel. All of Castiel's nerves lit up, and Cas felt like he was melting. But then Dean pulled back sharply, shaking his head.
"Whats wrong Dean?" Cas said surprised that he had pulled back.
"This." Dean gestured between himself and Cas "If I let you get close, I'll pull you down with me. I know I've said this before, but I'm poison Cas, you know that."
"Dean thats not true, stop thinking about yourself so badly." Castiel hadn't missed this part of Dean. The part that always thought he wasn't good enough
"Cas, I'm not lying, how do you think I would feel if I see you dead because of me." Dean said angrily, and pounded his fist on the floor, but it caught on something sharp, a nail that stuck out on the floor, and his hand started bleeding.
Almost as if by reflex, Castiel reached out and healed Dean's hand. The wound closed, but something went wrong. He felt the last bits of Theo's grace burn out, and felt nothing left. All the pain that the stolen grace had kept under the surface pushed through and pulled Castiel in, turning the inside of his body into what felt like liquid fire. Castiel moaned in pain and put his hands on his head, willing the pain to stop. Make it stop he kept thinking, as if the mere thought alone would halt the pain.
"Cas, are you alright?" Dean reached out his hand to calm Castiel, but instead of his hand grasping Cas it grasped thin air. Castiel was on the floor writhing from the flames within, mumbling incoherent words.
"Cas, whats wrong? Tell me!" Dean reached towards Cas again, and tried to push him into a sitting position, but Castiel just lay limply against Dean's arm.
"The grace-" Castiel managed to gasp out "It's killing me, can't stay awake." Castiel tried to fight against the darkness, tried to keep , but it was too hard. He felt his eyelids begin to close. It was so hard now staying awake, fighting the heaviness of his eyelids. Breathing was becoming hard too, he wondered how he hadn't noticed how much effort it took before.
"Dammit Cas! Don't you dare close those eyes!" Dean shouted desperately. "You're not dying Cas, just stay awake!" Castiel tried even harder, but the pain was too much, it hurt to stay alive. Castiel knew that Dean could live without him as long as Dean had Sam, all that mattered to Castiel was that Dean was safe and unhurt. So Castiel closed his eyes and gave up fighting, gave up trying so hard to breathe
"Cas? Cas! Wake up, you bastard! Don't you dare die on me!" Dean's voice came from far away sounding broken and hurt, but Cas felt the darkness engulf him completely. With great effort, Castiel managed to say three words, his voice shaky .
"I-I'm sorry Dean." Castiel took his last ragged breath and felt himself stop breathing. Castiel felt a pinch of guilt in leaving Dean behind, but where he was going he didn't want Dean to follow. After all, angels didn't go anywhere good when they died.