Chapter 51 - Missing
Bernadette sat on her couch, she had been there all afternoon, after having tried to get in touch with Howard all the night before and all day today, with no luck, which was making her more and more upset. She had left work early because she couldn't keep her mind on anything except where her husband was, and even now she had no idea. What made things worse, she didn't know exactly where he went, she knew the city and state, but he had always called her and they never discussed where he actually was. She had called every number she knew from the military with no one being able to help her, so now she had only one more option, as she hit the number on her speed dial. Her hormones had been all over the place the last few weeks and she couldn't keep from crying now, she was fast becoming worried sick over him.
Penny was back in the room with Leonard, after his afternoon workout, she was holding on to him, as he moved into the room with crutches. Penny had been trying to settle down since the day before last, when he left her, even though it had only been for a couple hours, it had rattled her. Him leaving without her having any idea why, scared the hell out of her, she couldn't help feeling like the worse possible thing was going to happen to him. They usually showered now, after his workout, and she couldn't wait to be under the warm water with him, holding him, she still helped him, even though they both knew he didn't need it, it was really for her.
They were about to take off their clothes when Penny's phone started to ring, she was going to ignore it until she saw it was Bernadette. "Hi Sweetie, how are you?"
"Penny, I can't get in touch with Howard, do you guys know anything about where he is?"
"No, I don't know where Howard is." Penny looked at Leonard, who was watching her talk on the phone, so when she looked at him he shook his head. "Leonard doesn't know anything either."
"Oh God, Penny, I'm scared." Bernadette whimpered.
Penny knew exactly how she felt, loosing someone you love was unbearable, she knew that so well and listening to Bernadette had Penny almost crying. "Bernadette what can we do?" she just wanted to help her friend.
"Can I talk to Leonard?" Penny gave the phone to her husband.
"Bernadette….Yes I do….Okay, I will…..I promise, as soon as you hang up…..Yes, then I'll call you right back….Bernadette don't worry, it is probably nothing, just his phone battery dead or something simple like that…..Okay, Yes right now….I talk to you soon." Leonard then hung up, shaking his head, as he walked to the phone in the room.
"Who are you calling?" Penny looked at him confused.
"General Turner's office." Leonard then started punching numbers on the phone.
It took Leonard about 5 minutes to get through to Turner's office. "Hi this is Lieutenant Colonel Hofstadter, is the General in, Sergeant?…Yes I am doing fine, thank you….He's not? Do you know when he will be in?….Okay, can you give him a message for me?…Yes, Please have him call me when he gets time, it is sort of important….Oh, let me ask you, have you heard anything about Lieutenant Colonel Wolowitz?…Okay thanks anyway, please give the General my message when you can." Leonard put the phone down and sat on the bed thinking.
"What is wrong, Sweetie." Penny sat down next to him and took his hand.
"They haven't seen the General in a couple of days, he only checks in about once a day and they don't know anymore." Leonard looked at Penny, "What can I tell Bernadette?"
Penny frowned, "I don't know. She was upset, this isn't going to help."
Leonard nodded, "I did tell her I would call her right back thought." he sighed, and picked up Penny's cell phone.
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Bernadette sat there listening to Leonard, like a zombie, all hope gone out of her. "Thanks for trying Leonard." she whispered then hung up. Suddenly she even felt alone even more, if that was possible.
Bernadette needed someone, so she got in her car, and drove to her parents house, she wanted to cry on someone's shoulder, and her mom seemed like the most logical choice right now. She had trouble driving, wiping her eyes at every stop light, not able to keep tears from coming to them, the thought of something terrible happening ever present in her mind. It was a relief to finally pull up in her parents driveway, and when her mother opened the door Bernadette just lost it breaking down in front of her and holding her tight.
The commotion at the door even brought Mike, her father, to see what is happening, "What's wrong?" his heart sank as he saw his crying daughter, of all his kids he was proudest of her, she really was his favorite.
"DADDY!" Bernadette let go of her mother and went to hug her father, who held is baby girl tight, a little tear forming in the retired policeman's eye.
Bernadette's mother came up behind her and put a comforting hand on her back and rubbed it gently. "Honey, what is wrong?
"Howard," sniff, "Howard is gone." Bernadette barely got out.
"Gone? He left you?" Bernadette's mother said in shock, she just couldn't believe Howard would do that, he was crazy in love with her daughter and especially since her daughter was pregnant with his baby.
"No." sniff, "He's missing." Bernadette corrected.
"I can contact people I know at the department and they can start looking for him." Mike added, wanting to help.
"No Daddy. He is not in California, he went to do some Army thing and now I can't get a hold of him and no one knows where he is." Bernadette tried to explain how little she knew.
"Army? What is Howard doing with the Army?" Mike asked.
Thinking about the Army made Bernadette want to cry harder, Howard and Leonard and that machine, they had risked their lives without the Army's help, and now it seemed like the Army wanted them to just keep doing that, trying to get them killed. Her and Howard had told their parents about the baby, but nothing about the Army, deciding later would be better, she figured today was later. "Daddy, Howard is in the Army."
Mike looked at his daughter, "Him! You're kidding right. Is this some NASA thing." he scoffed.
Her father's words cut through her, her husband was a hero and no one was going to belittle him in front of her, her sorrow turned to anger. "Why would you say that! Why do you always act that way about him!" Mike looked at her in shock after her outburst. "I married Howard because I thought he was the opposite of you, a kind gently man who would come home each night and I could live a boring, happy life." sniff. "But it must be a curse, I married a wolf in sheep's clothing, he has gone to space and he is a Lieutenant Colonel in the Army and he just can't keep from risking his life, actually risking his life!" the sobs were starting to come again, "And I don't know where he is or if he is alive!"
Mike swallowed hard, "I'm sorry Honey, I had no idea. He is a good man and really smart, I'm sure he is okay." he pulled his daughter in tight as she sobbed again and thought 'An Army Lieutenant Colonel, damm was he wrong about his son-in-law.'
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Leonard sat on the edge of the bed, quietly thinking about how upset Bernadette was and wondering where Howard was, he was so lost in thought that he didn't even realize that Penny was practically molded against his side, clinging to him. The sniffles he heard a moment later, brought him out of his thoughts and when he looked at her he saw red rimmed eyes, tears on her cheeks and desperate eyes staring back at him. "Penny what's wrong?"
"I'm scared Leonard. You having to leave, just over a day ago on some secret thing, Howard now missing, you are getting well and it's all happening again." sniff "I'm scared I'm going to loose you. Honey, I can't do that again. I can't loose you."
Leonard wanted to tell her it was nothing, but the more he thought about it, Howard being missing, Turner not being available, and nobody knowing anything, only made him think of one thing, the suit. They had another operational version and Howard was qualified to use it, that knowledge made him come to only one conclusion, Howard was doing something for Turner and the Army and it was classified, which was never good. "Honey, nothing is happening, I would know, and Howard is probably fine, you'll see." Leonard blatantly lied to her.
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The rest of the flight was quiet, Howard could see many of the men either being quiet, thinking, or trying to distract themselves by checking equipment or talking. Howard just wanted to think, Parsons had stopped staring at him, so now he finally felt alone enough to think about things that were intimate to him and first on that list where his wife and unborn child. The first thought was he wished he knew if it was going to be a boy or a girl and for the first time he cursed himself for agreeing with her to keep it a secret, he really wanted to know now, before… Howard shook his head, he didn't want to think about that, he just wanted to think happy thoughts about them. He pictured Bernadette in a sun dress in the park as they walked together, their child between them holding both their hands, swinging every so often on them. Their child was beautiful, like his wife, suddenly Howard hoped the child was a girl, like his wife, smart and beautiful, and he would have two beautiful women in his life, it made him smile. He could see both his wife and mother just spoiling her, to no end, and how he would read her stories at night, laying on one side of her bed, while Bernadette was on the other rubbing her back as she fell asleep, their little angel.
Howard thought about his wife, his amazing wife, and wondered if she would be okay, she was a strong person really, but he had seen the side of her that no one else got to see and he had held her at night when she had needed him. Their marriage had only gotten stronger since they said 'I Do' and now they both needed each other, they were so much a part of each others lives. All Howard had to do is cuddle with her at night in their bed, to know she loved him, the way she laid against him making him know she was his and that was the way she wanted it. He was hers too, but she deserved so much better, he always told himself, even now hating himself for what he was doing to her, after he promised. Even though he hated it, he hoped she found someone that loves her as much as he did, she so deserved it, and he hoped she got over him quickly, he didn't want her to forget him, just move on with some one she loved. He sighed, then noticed the crew chief coming back towards them.
"Gentlemen, we are landing in 5 minutes, please buckle up." Howard stared at the crew chief, surprised he had been just sitting there for that long just thinking. He then thought to himself about something he heard, that time does seem to go by faster when you have so little left, how true that seemed now.
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The plane landed quickly and was soon stopped the back ramps coming immediately open and a truck backing up to it to unload Howard's equipment. Howard, Reed and Smart unloaded their equipment, a few of the SEALs helping them, quickly loading the truck, then moving off with their equipment to an hanger, while the SEALs went to another building. They worked quickly, setting up the Suit Support Rack and then using a portable hoist putting the suit up on it, to begin its checkout. It was after 20 minutes of basic checkout procedures that Reed and Smart helped Howard into the suit, then another 20 minutes of systems checkout before the helmet was finally fitted and Howard went through the suite internal systems check. It had been a hour and a half, since the plane touched down and Howard was now ready, he started to move towards the door when he stopped, Reed and Smart standing at attention saluting him. Howard was really moved, and came to attention in the suit and saluted them back, then moved to the door, the helicopters were waiting for their cargo of SEALs and him, it was time.