So. I saw a Benjen/Obara pairing once, and I was interested in how, precisely, it would work if it wasn't necessary to Dorne's wellbeing.
Obara Sand, who was visiting her sisters and cousins, was curious about the Men on the Wall, and was quite stunned to come face to face with Benjen Stark, who looked more like a warrior than a Lord. He was cold, as she seemed, but she wondered if she could light a fire in him.
It turned out, that once his vows were gone- dissolved by the descendant of the builder of the Wall- she could. And Benjen was so different from all the men she's ever known. Strong, kind and compassionate with an ice cold edge. He warms, slightly, when Jon and Bran tackle him for hugs, cradling his nephews close. Robb, Sansa, Arya, Rickon and Ned move in closer, finally engulfing the three males.
Over the time spent re-establishing the Wall and the Watch, she tried courting him the Dornish way, fascinated with this icy cold man who smiled at his family. He refused her gently every time, so she went to Robb for an explanation.
Blue eyes lighted with love, he explains that Benjen is a Stark, descended of the Kings of Winter. It is not that she is a bastard that he will not play with her. It is that she will go, and if he lets her close, gives her his heart, she'll have the power to break him, as Lyanna's leaving with Rhaegar had done before.
Brandon, young, sweet Brandon comes in, in time to hear, and he says in that serene way of his
"You are a princess of Summer, Obara. If you truly desire to keep a prince of Winter, no one and nothing will stop you." Robb adds softly
"But only if you will keep him."
After that, Obara spends a long time thinking. She had only wanted to play for a bit, to see if Benjen had fire. But… would it be so bad, wed to such a man as the renewed First Ranger of the Night's Watch? Expected to fight at his back when the Wildlings revolt, and warm his bed when they didn't?
Ned Stark suggests she consider staying at the Wall, or at Winterfell for a season or two, training with the Northmen. She does so, writing her father of all the challenges to be found in the North- how Rhaegar's sons fight with swords, and the Spearwives are fierce as any woman from Dorne.
Most of all, though she doesn't realize it, that letter is filled with the name Benjen. How strong and kind and compassionate he is.
Oberyn Martell receives the letter from Obara when Doran receives a letter from Trystane, announcing the impending birth of his Sand, the piece Myrcella intends to give to Tywins' downfall. The brothers jump into action, though neither knows Trystane sent another letter, one across the Narrow Sea to Norvos.
My dear Mother Mellario,
I doubt you have forgotten me, but you never knew me as more than a babe. I am your youngest son, Trystane. I am announcing, to the family at least, that my beloved, Myrcella Baratheon, is three moons from birthing the Sand Snake she promised me.
If you do not come to Winterfell, I will not hold it against you. But Mother, I must tell you that I have also told my Father.
I have never asked Father this, but as he has taken no paramours, I believe he has not stopped loving you. Mayhaps it is the disease that often keeps him abed, but Arianne, last I spoke with her, believes this too. Quentyn, in our correspondence, has revealed to me that he has not forgotten you. In many ways, Father has never permitted it. The statue and paintings created in your honor remain tended only by Areo Hotah on his orders.
Father did what was expected of him by his people and lost the woman he loves.
If you return to Westeros, please remember that my father loved- still loves- you.
With loving respect,
Trystane Nymeros Martell
In Norvos, Mellario spent a number of days stewing over her sons' letter. The rebukes in it were gentle, more implied than said. She had reviled her husband for doing his duty.
Doran.
Heart thudding, Mellario booked passage to White Harbor, sending a letter to her son ahead. She was greeted in White Harbor by a girl who introduced herself as Wynafryd Manderly, who offered her the choice of wheelhouse or horse to get to Winterfell.
Taking the horse and the girl's guidance, Mellario froze as she realized her husband's wheelhouse had arrived ahead of her. A scream lodged in her throat when she saw Areo Hotah carry her Doran, wrapped in furs, to a wheeled chair an attendant held firm. Jaw quivering, Mellario slipped down from her horse, grasping the saddle to remain standing. Hidden in the gateway as she was, she saw a young man in Martell colours and reddish furs hurry to greet her husband. That had to be her son Trystane, she thought dizzily.
"Princess Mellario?" The gentle address had her head whipping around, as she came face to face with a grey eyed, black haired boy, who carefully took the reins of her horse as a girl with Valyrian hair took her arm, another black haired boy taking the other.
"Come meet Myrcella first." The girl suggested softly. Nodding softly, she allowed them to lead her to Myrcella, a golden girl nursing a black haired babe.
"Nymeros, Princess Mellario." She told Mellario, green eyes glinting. Mellario startled when her children filed in, Trystane followed by Arianne and Quentyn.
"Mother." Arianne breathed, squeezing her before Quentyn did the same. Trystane kissed her cheek, all three inhaling when Mellario asked
"Where's your Father?" Quentyn lowered his eyes and Arianne said softly
"The journey tired him greatly, Mother. He's resting with Areo as his guard." Quentyn cleared his throat and asked urgently
"Will you try to forgive him doing what needed to be done?" taken aback, Mellario went to protest, and then Arianne jumped in
"The Maesters have been begging him to write you for ages, because he's so sad, Mama, and Uncle Oberyn suggested we beg you to write a few lies so he wouldn't be so heartbroken." Trystane sighed and reminded his siblings
"That is between Mother and Father. It was lucky enough to get you all here to see Nymeros, even if it was under the pretense of betrothing Obara."
Mellario felt terrible. Hurt as she'd been, her actions had hurt others. Watching her children coo over Nymeros, she slipped away to Doran's rooms, pressing a finger to her lips as she passed Areo Hotah. Her husband was dozing beneath a heap of furs and quilts, Obella and Loreza, the youngest Sand Snakes if she remembered Areo's letters correctly, curled up beneath his shoulders.
She sits on the bed and studies her husband's face. Younger in sleep, yes, but still lined, his hair streaked in silver. His eyes flutter open as she strokes his nose, and then they shut tight and he mumbles that it's a dream, a dream, a fucking dream.
His mumbling wakes Obella and Loreza, who quietly slip out when Mellario shows them the Martell necklace she's worn since she married Doran. Who is himself quiet now.
"The children have asked me to forgive you for doing your duty." Her words wake Doran, if he'd ever returned to sleep.
"Mellario." His rasp washes over her, as does more guilt. Her husband that she'd claimed to love and honor, and the customs of his people, is lying here and she can tell he believes it a dream still.
How can I love him still? After what he's done…But I do. I wish I hadn't left him, not like this, not for so long, but would he even take me back?
Rising, she strips off her clothes and burrows under the furs until she lays beside her husband, lacing her fingers through the trembling hand that traces over her stomach.
There is much to talk about. But. She will forgive him, maybe. Maybe they will just have a little more time in the frozen North, and she will return to Norvos and he to Dorne.
When Trystane slips in to hand Nymeros Sand to his father, he smiles to see his mother tucked against Doran. He hopes that they can be without the anger and bitterness, but he's unsure if there'll be more than that.
Obara, for her part, is happy for her uncle. If he felt for Mellario half what she did for Benjen, then he's spent many years in misery for their country.
Another thing she's happy about is that even with her being legitimized as a Martell, he had shrugged off changing her name or words and said indifferently
"Ned's Cat kept her fathers' name, why can't my Sand Snake?"
And she loved him for it. She loved him all the more when he announced after their wedding
"Obara Martell Stark will train the spearmen and wives willing to join the Night's Watch if that is her wish."