Painful Memories

Turles had no problem finding Haruka. Like himself, she loved to train for an excessive amount of time until she passed out on the floor. Her movements didn't seem as well thought out as they normally did, because they were angry and struck out at no particular target that he could see. 'Maybe I'll watch her for a few minutes to get a better idea on why she is who she is.'

Haruka, not knowing that anyone had walked into the room, did back flips, several combinations of punches and kicks. 'I can't get the past out of mind! Michi, I can't do this! What if he's not what he seems?' Fear coursed through her veins and nausea swept over her at the memories of the past. 'Not again! I can't deal with this again! Michi, I'm scared."

'Trust him. He'll be more understanding than you think if you give him a chance. I know you love him.' Those words still echoed in her ears, and it was the only thing keeping her from screaming in insanity.

Haruka knew her fighting was nowhere close to being up to par, but she didn't care as she thought no one was watching and collapsed to her knee, gasping for breath. If she wasn't so tired from the fight with the shadow warriors and the mental drain of figuring out Turles, her emotions would have been more controlled. Something wet hit her knee, and she looked at it surprised and touched it. "NO!" Angry because she was crying, even in front of herself, she smashed the mirror in front of her, cutting her hand badly. The pain was minor compared to the confusion in her mind. More tears fell as she started back up in her imaginary fight with an unknown enemy. More images flooded her mind as she covered her eyes and shook her head trying to think straight. 'God, I've never had to deal with this on my own.'

'Who is she fighting with?' Turles thought to himself. 'This is not a training session, but a fight to rid something that she's been dealing with for a long time.' The urge to jump in and give her a good work out was strong, but not as strong as trying to figure out what had her so upset. When he saw the tears rolling down her face, he felt something stir inside of him, but quickly suppressed it. Letting his instincts get the better of him, was not a good idea in Haruka's case. After seeing her standing over Makoto and himself, he realized at that moment that he would hate to not have her around any longer. In the seven months he had traveled with her through space, he had come to the conclusion that Haruka was a complex person with many hidden walls and barriers around her that she probably didn't understand all of them herself.

At a distance, Haruka appeared to be emotionless and fierce, but whenever he would get too close to her, he would see a shadow of fear flash in her eyes, but quickly disappear as she would find something to do. 'Maybe, I've been going at this all wrong. I don't need to hurt her, but I'm not pushing hard enough as her trainer or fighting companion to find out what is haunting her.'

Moving behind her, he waited for her to come back around before he caught her leg in mid-air and held it under his arm while he snatched her incoming fist into his hand and held it tight enough she couldn't break it loose. She was so engrossed in her fighting that it took her a full ten seconds to realize that she wasn't alone and that she was in a very vulnerable position. "Where did you come from?"

"I came in from the only entrance in the room. Your fighting is horrible and warriors don't cry unless they have a really good reason to do so."

Haruka was scared and angry at this point and tried to pull out of his grip, but he refused to loosen up and stared at her, watching to see how she was going to react. His whole presence signaled a challenge to her and she growled in fury as he had the upper hand on her. "Let go of me!"

"Make me." Haruka came up with her other leg to do a surprise kick, but Turles had been expecting it and snatched it as he flew into the air, turning her upside down. With both legs pinned under his arms, she felt awkward and light headed. Every time she tried to flip up, he would pull back, making her drop back down to where she was at.

"Put me down and fight me like a warrior, not a coward."

"I'm not the one hanging upside down, nor was I the one not paying attention. I was here for almost twenty minutes and you never once sensed that I was here. This was a fair strike, so don't call me a coward. A really good warrior can find a way out of any hold."

'I'll show him fair then.' Building up a ki blast like she had been taught to do, she twisted to hit Turles in the face with it and this time he wasn't expecting her to retaliate and dropped her down holding his face as it stung. Not wishing to prologue this fight any longer and to be alone, Haruka walked towards the door to have it slammed shut before she could get it a partial ways open.

"Training starts now and you're not leaving until I say we're done."

"You said that was in two days!" Haruka was getting desperate to get away from Turles and hide out for a few days. He was acting strange, but he still had not really mentioned why he wanted her to train all of a sudden.

"I know what I said, but seeing as how you're not in bed like a soldier should be, then we can go ahead and start now. Besides, I didn't start the fight; you did when you blasted my face."

"I wouldn't have tried to blast you if you had put me down and not interfered with my privacy in the first place!"

"You mean the personal battle you're having with yourself. No offense, but I think you've been alone far too long on this problem you have and need to face it right here, right now. No more running and no more allowing other people to fight it for you. If I have to fight you for several hours to get you to face your enemy, then so be it I will. I have a lot of patience and time."

"This is none of your business, so but out! Training is one thing, but prying into someone else's personal affairs is not something I'm going to simply tell you about. Now get out of my way before I get really angry and make you."

"Now that would be interesting to see. For your information, it is my affair if you're to continue fighting beside me. If your own fights cause you to be distracted in the future, it could not only kill you, but everyone else in your party. Is that what you wanted on that planet? If anyone's being a coward it's you, Haruka."

Anger, humiliation, and damaged pride over rode the fear that she felt with Turles presence as she elbowed him in the stomach and grabbed his hair and threw him over her shoulder to bring his stomach down on her knee. Her rage didn't stop there as she gave everything she had to tear Turles apart. With an elbow upper cut, she snapped his head all the way back to have her side kick him in the back near the spine of his tail.

With a shout of pain Turles rolled on his stomach to tremble as the effects near his tail tried to wear off. 'That does it, if she wants a challenge then she's going to get one!' He felt something warm and sticky on his face and reached to touch it. When he drew his fingers back, it was a dark deep red that gave off a scent of the winds. It wasn't his blood, because he had the scent of strong musk. Looking over to Haruka who was in a fighting stance, he saw the puddle forming at her feet from the deep cut on her hand.

Haruka thought by the way he got back up, he would be upset and ready to kill her when he froze. At first, she thought she had cut his face by the way he was looking at the color on his hand, but he didn't act hurt and when he looked straight at her, she knew he wasn't. His tail swished in front and behind him as he remained fixed on a certain point of her body. 'What is he looking at?' She followed the gaze of his eyes to notice the blood on her hand for the first time and then back at him in a flash. His eyes had shifted from that of a pissed off Saiya-jin to that of a predatory one. All the anger had gone out of Haruka as fear took its place stronger than ever. For the first time in her life, Haruka didn't want to fight and tried to make a run for it when she was tripped by a tail and pressed down flat on her stomach.

"The fight isn't over yet!" Turles moved off of her and placed himself in between the door and herself, daring her to try and get through him. "If you manage to get through me and out that door, then you win the fight. If I win, you tell me what your demon is." 'After that, I claim you as my mate.' He didn't tell her this, because he knew she wouldn't like it too much.

This was not a fight anymore as she watched Turles advance on her, pushing her back with each step he took. From the year and half she had spent in the presence of Saiya-jins, she knew a challenge when she saw one and this was definitely serious. 'No. I need more time. He won't understand!' Fear of rejection and of judgment, Haruka screamed as the symbol on her forehead blazed to life and slammed Turles against the door, smashing it to pieces. Now they were trapped and she had no choice but to beat him, or accept his terms.

Turles struggled to rise against her emotions as they crushed him against the wall. He had to admit, he was impressed by her powers when she was pushed to use them. These winds, if taught to use right would be a deadly weapon. Fear was controlling her actions now and was using it against him to get away. The idea of her winning pushed him over the edge as he began to shout and raise his power level to an extreme that Haruka hadn't seen before. The last time he lost control of his power was when she was unconscious. She watched his hair change from, black to gold several times before it erupted and when he lifted his head again, his eyes were green and promised defeat to whomever he fought.

Images of her foster father flashed through her mind as she saw what Turles had become and what he could be capable of, caused her to fall backwards and bump into the wall. He still had not moved as he kept a steady gaze locked on hers. "Time to end this fight," he promised. One step caused a whimper of terror to escape her throat as a flash of the past crossed her vision. Her foster father when she was twelve was the one coming towards her after a severe beating and she was helpless to stop him. 'I will not faint, I will not faint.' A foot stopped beside hers and she couldn't tell the difference between here and now as a tail dropped to her foot. Thinking it was her foster father, she screamed in pure agony and fear as she bolted up with strength she didn't know she possessed and ran past Turles to find a spot to hide. She wasn't over twenty any more, but a defenseless child trying to get away from what was about to happen.

Turles was confused as he watched her push him away, but she was holding her head as if it wasn't him she saw but someone else. He knew he was close to getting her to let it all out and decided to continue to press the issue. She had crawled in between the crates and boxes that were in the corner of the room and had curled herself as small as she could get trying to stay as hidden as possible. He didn't even realize he was a Super Saiya-jin until he looked into the mirrors on his left and gasped. No wonder he felt like he couldn't be beaten.

She was cornered, frightened and not much of fight as he walked over to her and kneeled. He had never seen the fighter break down to this extent and was furious with who or what ever had damaged her self-esteem and pride to this extent. 'How long have you been keeping this to yourself?'

A soft voice entered his mind and he didn't recognize it, but it did know Haruka. 'She's looking her past full in the face now. You're seeing something that she's never revealed even to myself because she has tried to smother it deep inside of her memories. I can't help her anymore and I knew this would come one day. Take care of my Ruka-cahn for me.'

'Who are you?'

'I'm Michi-chan, her one and only trusted friend before she met Usagi or came to the past. Help her please!' The voice disappeared and Turles slowly reached out to touch Haruka's arm, but he might as well have been a rattle snake that had struck her with lightning reflexes when she started lashing out blindly trying to get away.

Grunting, he latched on to her waist as she sped by him and pulled her hard against him, restraining her attempts to flee. "No, no, no! I'm sorry, I won't go in your shop again! Please stop! Don't hurt me anymore!"

Even being a Super Saiya-jin, Turles was having trouble confining her wild behavior at this point. "Haruka! Snap out of it!" She didn't even here him as her body sagged against him in a heap unconscious. Sweat covered her forehead and her body trembled against him as he gently picked her up and made a hole in the room as he left the training area. He needed to know what she was seeing and he knew just the person that could do this.

Bardock was in the middle of working on some important research, when his brother walked in the room caring Haruka in his arms. It wasn't her that had caught his attention, but the transformation stage that Turles was still in. "Turles?"

"Did you ever finish that invention where you can see what a person is dreaming?"

"Yes, but I haven't tested it yet."

"Now would be a good time to test it and she's your test subject."

"I don't think..."

"Don't argue with me! I want to know why she's retreated back to the point that I think she's reliving something as a child!"

Bardock blinked at his brother's lash of anger, but let it go as he saw how protective he was of Haruka. He knew Turles falling for her would be bad for both of them, but chose not to point that out to him. He motioned for his brother to come into the lab and set her down, but Turles refused to let her go, and sat down on the table with her head gently cradled against him. A couple of minutes passed and he saw his brother return with some devices that he hooked to Haruka and then to Turles.

"Listen carefully. You can monitor her dreams with this device and if necessary enter them. However, this has not been tested and you may destroy both your minds if you're not careful."

"Her mind may snap anyway if I don't find out what happened and figure out how to help her." Bardock nodded and put a sedative in Turles arm and watched his vital signs as he fell into unconsciousness beside Haruka.

"Good luck. You're going to need it Turles."

Dream

Turles found himself surrounded by equipment he had never seen before and wondered where he could possibly be at. There was junk all around him and some kind of machine in a corner that had a small girl looking at. She looked to be about twelve years old as she stood at the stair case looking at the piece of junk with some kind of glint in her eyes. This was a fire that told Turles that she enjoyed something about the piece of junk.

She didn't know he was there and slowly walked down the stairs looking at the door afraid of something he didn't know about. Haruka had just come to this home two days before and had stayed in her room most of the time not wanting to associate with anyone. From the shouting she heard from her new foster parents, she didn't want to meet them anyway.

One afternoon, the house was unusually quiet and she dared to poke her head out of her room and to explore the new place she was about to call home for a couple of months. She knew it wouldn't last long when she would be shoved or moved around again, because the foster parents would hate and tell everyone she was impossible to teach anything.

The house had four bedrooms, two bathrooms, and was almost to shabby to even be considered a home anymore. It surprised Haruka that such living arrangements were suitable for foster children, but she was at the stage she didn't care anymore. Once she turned sixteen, she would find a job and run away forever.

There was one door that led to a set of stairs and she went down them to see what she could find. What she saw surprised her. It was a 1968 convertible mustang in mint condition and had a set of tools next to it, which meant someone was working on it. Curious and in awe, she slowly made her way down the stairs to glance at the door once, afraid she shouldn't be down here and then went to get a better look at the car.

There was only 30 miles on the car, suggesting to her that a new engine had been placed in it and a new body and paint job had been finished. "Wow! I can't believe they can afford a car like this and keep foster kids."

She never saw the figure come up behind her and whirl her around. "What the hell are you doing down here?"

Haruka had been in trouble before, but this time she didn't know what she could have done wrong, but decided that all grown-ups were the same. "I only wanted to look at it."

"More like you wanted to steal it! Get out of here now!" He threw a bunch of tools at her, causing her to bolt up the stairs and dive in her room. A crescent wrench had hit her in the head, but she didn't care as long as she never saw that person again.

Unfortunately for her, that was not the case as five minutes passed and she heard footsteps coming towards her room and they didn't pass. With a quick kick, the door banged open as the 6'5" man stood before her with a riding crop in his hands and looking at her with an evil smirk on his face. "They told me you might be a bit of a problem child, but I know how to deal with that kind of trouble."

Haruka was on her feet, terror written on her face as she eyed the crop in his hands. "What are you planning to do?"

"It's called discipline kid and you're about to get the first real taste of it." He took a step towards her and Haruka knew she needed to get out of there and bolted under his legs and almost made it when her hair was grabbed and yanked so hard that parts of it tore. She screamed in pain, but the man picked her up and flung her to the other side of the room to dislocate her shoulder. "That just made your punishment worse kid. If its one thing I won't have is disrespectful, willful children and you will learn you place in this house and society as a female."

"Please, stop! I promise not to go in the shop anymore! Don't hurt me anymore!"

Haruka was screaming in fear at that man, with no way or where to run as he shut the door behind him and locked it. He walked over to the dresser and pulled out something she didn't even know was there because she hadn't looked in it yet and the bile in her stomach started to come up as she realized something really bad was about to happen. Before she had time to run, he grabbed her by the hair again, and shoved her against the wall face first and began to tie her hands up and through some ring holes that were already in the ceiling. Pulling on them, he tied them to the pole on the bed, to keep her suspended and made sure she was perfectly secure before he stood in front of her. Taking some duck tape, he taped her mouth shut and reveled in the fear that was clearly reflected in her eyes. "Time to break you in," he drawled in her ear.

The worse three weeks of Haruka's life went on in that room as her foster father beat her to unconsciousness and raped her when she woke up every morning. No one heard her scream or cry for help as her mouth was always gagged and she was always tied down or up to keep her from screaming. He didn't even allow her to take a bath and only gave her the rotten food in the kitchen. When the fourth week came rolling along, he cut her down and kicked her in the ribs laughing at her. "Next time I have a problem out of you, I will make it two months instead of four weeks.

Turles was never so horrified in his life about what he had witnessed. However, what he saw next was enough to make his blood run cold. The vitality and glint he saw in her eyes right before this all happened had completely vanished to be replaced by cold hatred and a wildness that couldn't be touched by anyone. Her eyes fell on a pair of scissors that had been laid on the dresser after he had cut her down and he knew what was going to happen, but wanted to see her do it anyway.

Without thinking about what she was doing, she walked over to the dresser and picked up the scissors in her hand and looked at the retreating back. "NO!" The man had stopped to turn around and snarl at the brat.

"Apparently I need to teach you some more manners since you still have a rebellious streak inside of you." He never saw it coming as he was about to hit the child with a fist and had scissors stab him in throat when she jumped on top of him.

"Never!" She stabbed him again in the eye, "Never! You won't ever touch me again! You stupid bastard!" After he fell to the ground clutching his throat, Haruka kicked him several times before standing in front of him and started chopping at his pants with the scissors, making sure he would never come back to hurt her again.

When all the life had drained from him, she stared at the body for several hours in a numb shock when she broke in a sob and ran nude through the streets. People stared at the bloody, beaten, malnutrition girl as she ran in between cars to where no life could touch her.

The scene of the house faded as he watched almost a year pass with Haruka on the run from everyone including herself. The fear in her eyes when people approached, especially men, grew to the point she screamed at the sight of one. Two more years, when she was fifteen, passed where she ran into Michuru who couldn't believe how wild and uncontrollable Haruka was. But something had clicked between them somehow and Michuru patiently waited for Haruka to trust her enough to get close.

Turles was shaking. Never, never had he felt sorry for anyone until he witnessed Haruka's life. There were other images in her mind that had scarred her as well, but he knew he needed to reach out to her now, or this would destroy her in the end. Despite the close bond Haruka had with Michuru, she never told her fully what happened in that house.

Blackness surrounded them both as he heard crying all around him. This was the crying of a scared child who was hiding from the world. Walking towards the sound, he soon found her sitting in the darkest corner of her mind clutching her knees in fear and pain. 'Please... make it stop!" she cried to no one in particular.

Slowly, he walked to her and placed a hand on her back. What surprised him, was this nude image was what she saw and it was the beat up one of the after effects caused by her punishment every day. "Haruka..."

The girl gasped and backed away from the figure in front of her. "Who are you? Please don't hurt me anymore!"

"I'm not going to hurt you."

Haruka didn't even bother to try and hide herself as she was beaten for even thinking about it. She just assumed this is what the man wanted and was invited by her foster father to help him punish her. Turles took the cloak off his shoulder and covered the girl in front of him to where she wasn't nude any longer. Confused, she looked at the first piece of clothing she had, had in a month and then back at Turles. "You don't want me like my foster parent?"

Turles growled in pure hatred and anger at her question, but had to control himself as she cringed in fear. "I do not and will never do to you what your foster parent did. That's a punishable crime of death for what he did. Dammit! How old are you?"

"I turned twelve three weeks ago. It was my birthday when this hell happened. I didn't mean to do anything wrong!" She started to cry and Turles picked her up and began rocking her in his lap, humming to her. He didn't know why he wanted to comfort her, but nothing else seemed appropriate enough. His heart cried out to help her, but he couldn't undo her past, but he wanted to help her get over it. "Who are you?" Turles realized this was the second time she had asked this question and looked at her eyes. It was possible this person didn't know who he was and was the memories of the woman he knew that was sleeping in his arms on the table. "Can you save me?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Don't let anyone hurt me anymore. Please, make the bad man go away. If I was bad I'm sorry."

End Dream

Haruka was still trembling and crying loudly as Turles woke up still holding her in his arms and rocking her. His brother was staring at him wide eyed and with his mouth hanging open, but one look kept him quiet as he left the room. He noticed he wasn't a Super Saiya-jin any longer, but that didn't matter as he looked at the fragile heart in his arms. Gently he pushed her hair back from her eyes and placed his chin on her head and began purring.

Haruka's cheek rested against his chest and felt the vibrations and the comforting feel of being rocked and somehow, loved. 'Where am I?' She opened her eyes and saw that Turles had her against him. Not in a restraining way, but in a gentle, protective way. Fear rose inside of her again and she struggled weakly against him, but he stopped rocking and purring when he felt that she was awake and looked at her. At first she didn't know what to expect from Turles, but the sad, angry blaze in his eyes caused her to pause from struggling and to notice that there were tears streaking down his face. Unable to stop herself, her fingers reached to touch the warm, fresh tears and rub them together against her skin. "I don't... understand. Why are you crying?"

"Does it really matter?" Lifting her chin, he stared into her confused and scared eyes for a long time before he said anything else. His mouth came to her ear and whispered, "I won't let anyone hurt you again, ever!" Haruka's eyes widened in surprise as his words sank in. She tried to pull away, but he refused to let her run from him any longer and held her in a warm embrace.

"That wasn't a dream?"

"No. Bardock had a way of me being able to get to you through your mind, and I have to admit that what I saw was bad."

"You saw what happened?" she gasped in fear. 'He hates me now! Saiya-jins don't like their women touched.'

"I want you to know something Haruka. What happened several years ago when you were twelve was not your fault. You didn't know how to fight and he should have known better. I still want to go and rip his throat out before he touched you."

"I don't want yourself pity!" She lashed out in fear and anger.

"I'm not pitying you, but giving you respect. Very few females in our culture would have bounced back like you've done and become the strong fighter that you are. Besides you were a child when that happened and it can't be held against you for not being able to fight him off." His words were soothing and calming as he spoke gently to her, as if trying to talk to a wild mare that refused to be tamed. He knew how he would get her to come to him, and decided to put her down and back up from her. "I'm not going to force you to come to me. I did want you as a mate while we fought today, but I know that if I try and force the claim on you, you would never truly be mine. I'll be waiting for you." Turles walked to the door, leaving Haruka staring at his retreating back hand trembling where the tears had fallen on her cheek.

'He cares about me. I don't know why or how, but he loves me enough that he came into that dream and saved me from my own enemy from years ago.' She was going to stop him from leaving, but was afraid to say anything and let him walk out the door.

'Ruka! Go on! There's nothing holding you back anymore and you know he'll be gentle with you if you ask him too. That Saiya-jin is rare, and you better not let him fall into the arms of another woman.'

'Michi.'

'Yes it's me and you better get your but in gear before I have to show you who's the stronger fighter.'

'Thanks Michi. I owe you one.' Haruka, no longer afraid, ran out of the room and saw Turles nearly at the end of the hallway. "Turles!" He stopped and turned around to see Haruka running at him in a dead run and circled his waist in a hug. "Please don't leave me alone. I... I love you."

Turles was stunned. She almost said it on the planet they had almost died on, but he thought it was the moment. He tilted her face to see that her eyes reflected her heart and smiled. His tail self-consciously wrapped itself around her waist pulling her closer to him, while he gently lowered his mouth to cover hers.

This was nothing like what Haruka expected or ever experienced before and melded against Turles, accepting the love and friendship he was willing to give her. 'How on Earth did this happen? I wasn't even looking for love and he was in front of me the entire time.' His tongue gently slid between her responsive lips and caused a moan to escape her throat.

His hands brushed against her cheeks, sending shivers of pleasure down her spine, but he went no further, letting her set the pace. "I think we need to go back to my room. We have people staring at us." Haruka turned her head and noticed that a crowd had formed around them, stunned that the hard-ass general was mating with the hell cat. Growling in warning, he led her to his room and shut the door. His tail waved behind him as he leaned on the wall, letting her make the first move.

Haruka was hesitant when she saw the door shut, but when he relaxed and let her know she had all the space to move around and leave when she chose to, her defenses dropped and she slowly began walking towards Turles, unbuttoning her shirt as she went. "Show me what it's like to be loved and not hurt."

Turles hands circled her waist and kissed her with his mind, heart and passionate soul knowing that he had made the right decision. 'Sometimes, a mouse will trust the lion if the cat doesn't eat them.' His teeth grazed her neck, hesitating and waiting for her to give him the signal. "Haruka..." he purred.

Knowing what he wanted, she tilted her head for him to be able to reach better and gasped in slight pain as he bit down, but stopped to let her get use to it. Immense pleasure shot through her entire body as she was flooded with his thoughts and feelings. 'I love you Haruka, now and forever. Please don't leave me alone.'

This was the first time she realized how much Turles actually needed her and finished the bond by biting down on his shoulder. She actually had to stand on her toes to reach that high, but the response of all the love he had for her, his child and his race, was well worth it. Picking her up gently, he walked over to his massive bed and placed her in it and took the rest of the night to move slowly with her and give her time to trust him.