Meh, cant help but feel like this chapter Iis missing something thats not smut... not so sure, but reviews would help.

Astrid didn't know whether to hate Snotlout for the stunt he pulled or thank him. On one hand he did unknowingly give her a heads up about the Hiccup's third arm, which he probably still didn't know about. On the other, she hadn't stopped thinking about it since that event the previous day. She could accept that he was naturally third armed. He was Stoic's son after all. But the thing that she didnt get was how in the world something as big as that was supposed to fit inside her without causing serious damage. This wouldnt be like giving birth, she was sure, but still, wrist thick and flaccid signaled there would definitely be a problem there. Was she scared? No. Of course not. She's a Hofferson. But she certainly felt uneasy, perhaps disturbed at the concept of him actually hurting her.

The next morning came rather quickly, which was ironic considering she spent at least a third of the night waking up sweaty and panicked from unusually themed nightmares. Primarily focusing on Hiccup's massive tool utterly destroying her in unbearably painful ways.

It only made it worse when her mother had set her breakfast down in front of her. The porridge looked nice with the molasses and diced apples, but the large sausage and two oranges seemed to be staring her down.

A minute passed, and her father looked at her concerned from across the table. "Whassa matter, Astrid? Ya usually wipe yer plate clean as soon as yer mother puts it front of ya."

She glanced up from her meal, "I uh... have a lot on my mind today. I guess its messing with my appetite."

"Huh. Well I s'pose bein a top dragon riders' a lot to handle Eh?" He replied with a proud smiled.

Emphasis on a lot to handle. She tried to show some backbone and sat up a little straighter, "I'm a Hofferson. I can take care of it." She looked back down at the trio of breakfast foods and deflated at the glare they were giving her.

"Well, don't go lettin that food go to waste." Another moment passed silently, Astrid only slightly fiddling with her porridge as her eyes remained cautiously and awkwardly at the sausage.

Her father washed down his mouthful of food with a gulp of tea before asking, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Her mother returned to the table with a large pot of porridge, and took a seat next to her father. She quickly joined the interrogation, "Its not the Haddock boy, is it?"

"No," she lied, "Its..." she hesitated. Did she want to talk about it? Yes. It was rather a serious issue she didn't know how to deal with. But with her father? Probably wouldn't help the problem get solved...

"Its a bit of a feminine thing..." she lied again.

Her father took the hint instantly. "Ah, say no more. I need to meet with some of the fellas anyway, try out the new warthog traps." He kissed Ingrid on the cheek before getting up from his seat. "I'm sure your Mother can help you with whatever it is you are dealing with." With that and a quick hug to Astrid, he headed out the door, hauling a deerskin bag along with him.

With the two of them alone, Ingrid leaned forward attentively. "So, what seems to be the problem, hun?"

Astrid hesitated again, unsure if she could actually have this conversation at all. She couldn't go to Gothi about it, because that would require a translator. And she couldn't possibly get much advice from Ruffnut...

"How big would you say is too big for a woman my size?" She finally blurted out.

"Astrid, dear, believe me when I say you are very fit for your size."

"What? No mom, I know I'm not fat. I'm talking about guys."

She looked at her with a puzzled expression. "I'm not sure I get what your askin, hun. Does this have to do with Hiccup?"

She nodded.

"I thought you had gotten past him being a twig."

She sighed, "Okay, first off, he isn't a twig anymore, mom. And I'm not talking about his body... well, that part of his body..."

Ingrid's eyes brightened, thinking she had met the root of the issue. "Ah, I see. You want to know about the size situation men have about their lower prides."

"Well... No. See, there was an incident yesterday, with Snotlout, during the prank war..."

Ingrid nodded her head, following her story.

"Snotlout found a way to get more points and pantsed Hiccup."

"So I spose he wasnt wearin any skivvies."

Astrid shrugged, glancing back down at the sausage.

"So you saw his lower horn. Whats the problem?"

"Thats what my first question was about. He sorta has a... size advantage."

"Oh. Well, honey, I'm sure it cant be something to worry about...

"He was as thick as my wrist, Mom."

Ingrid's eyes widened. "Oh my, that boy is full of surprises."

"Yeah, that one really caught me off guard... so how do I deal with that?"

"Why? Is he pressuring you?"

"No! I mean... I know we will end up being married eventually. So I figured to learn how to deal with this situation before, well, you know..."

The older woman smiled wryly and humorously tried to finish her sentence, "You have a date with his Red Death?"

She nearly cringed at the memory of last nights nightmare before nodding.

"Astrid, if there is anything I've learned from your father, its that talkin things out is one of the most important things to keep a relationship going."

"We already do that. Is there anything you can tell me about when we start... going further?"

Her mother shrugged, "I spose the only tip I can offer ya for when the bed starts creakin is go easy the first few times, and use a lot of lubricant."

"Are you sure thats all there is?"

"Everything else I can tell you about men I've already told you," Ingrid glanced down at the sausage on her plate before mentioning, "And by the way, I noticed how you were looking at the food. Don't you dare try to practice that at the table. Either eat like a civilized person, or give it to me."

Needless to say, she just went with the porridge that morning.

Well so much for motherly advice…

It took her some time to figure out who to go to for help. Then the realization hit her during one of the races.

Valka! Of course! Hiccup had to get his prowess from somewhere, and who else but his father? And since she was finally around again, there was a likely source of knowledge for dealing with guys who secretly have three arms.

With Hiccup at the forge after the dragon races, she figured now was one of the best times to go for it. She ended up hesitating as she approached the front door of the Haddock home, doing a double take at what she was about to ask the chief's wife.

Hes Stoic the Vast, come on, that name cant be just from him being the usual viking beef that you see all around Berk. And still, Valka is pretty much half his size, that had to be part of the variables...

Variables... great, shes turning into Hiccup now.

Astrid couldn't help regret the decision to take the step of knocking on the door. However her anxiety was put at ease a little when Valka opened the door with a cheerful smile.

"Hi Astrid, the dragon races done already?"

She smiled back weakly. "Yeah, I guess the others just didnt feel like trying today."

She laughed. "Well, if you're looking for my son, he's at the forge.

"Actually, I was hoping I could talk to you," she said, glancing inside in search of Stoic, "Privately."

"Oh. Alright then..."

"Can I come in?"

She stepped aside, "Of course. Is there something wrong?"

Astrid walked inside quickly, and waited for her to shut the door before responding. "Sort of... its about Hiccup."

"Hm. I figured it was about Stormfly. You know if theres a problem with him, you should try talking to him. Hes probably one of the most cooperative men on the island."

"I know. But thats not the problem... You know we like each other right?"

"I can say he certainly likes you."

"Trust me, the feeling is very mutual. But we have a... snag in the relationship."

"Go on," she encouraged.

"Its about his body…"

She smirked, "Hm. I didnt know you two were already that close."

"No, we arent... yet. But theres a... size issue."

"Oh. Well, truthfully Astrid, Ive never thought size mattered. It isn't the size of the dragon that shows the fire it has."

"What if its a really big dragon?"

On of Valka's eyebrows lifted. "Im sorry?"

She sighed, "Hiccup has... a bit of a size advantage... like a dragon sized size advantage..."

"Hm. Seems he's more like his father than I expected."

"Thats why I came to you. I thought you could share some wise words about that, since Hiccup has to get that from someone…"

"I see. Well, dear, you may want to take a seat. You might be here for a little while."

Astrid thanked Valka again for her generous and friendly advice before leaving with a giddy smile on her face and rolled up paper in hand. She was much more excited now than she had been before their little chat, which had been promised to be confidential. She was actually looking forward to sex with Hiccup now, instead of worrying about it.

Speaking of Hiccup, he was supposed to have something for her a while before sundown, which was about now. She held her smile as she tucked the paper into her pouch and strolled off to the forge.

Valka's tips for 3 armed men...

Lube is one of your new best friends. Make sure your body is ready to take him before you do, but still be sure to have some oil or lotion just in case. If neither of those are available, your saliva usually works. If he's got good stamina, get him to finish once and use the result.

Learn to ride the dragon first. Be on top your during your first so you can control how much meat you take at a given time. And go slow. It will hurt less that way.

Just because he's huge doesn't mean he's trained. Don't expect the first few times to last.

Don't expect to be very good at using your mouth. You are supposed to chew your food, but not this, so you probably shouldn't be expected to stuff the whole thing in there. That doesnt mean you cant try if you want, though.

If you two end up having an active sex life, expect to have issues with walking. And keep a clean rag handy.

This one Astrid added herself after she noticed how Valka had a noticeable wobble in her step. As for the rag, well... The oranges accompanied this mornings stare down with the sausage quite well for a reason.

Enjoying and wanting to have sex with him (even very often) does NOT make you a whore, and don't ever let anyone make you think otherwise.

As with any intimate relationship, communication is key. Tell him if he's doing something right or if he's hurting you, and ask him what he likes.

Next chapter:not so sure, Im open to ideas, but; Astrid will likely enjoy some Haddock milk.

Also open to ideas for plot bunnies. The plot for the next is a bit vague.