I'm really excited about this part of the story (the last few chapters and the next several coming up), so I'm glad to hear you guys are, too!

I did inject a bit of levity into this chapter because things've been so heavy lately. Enjoy!

when you walk in the noise disappears
where you begin is perfectly clear
all this time i felt so confused
then came you
and i just knew
Better Than Ezra, "I Just Knew"

Juice had gone into the kitchen to make coffee while Olivia retrieved the postcards from the drawer in her vanity. When she returned she spread them all out on the coffee table in the order she'd received them. Chibs studied them a long time, carefully examining each picture on the front and poring over the text on the back like it was War and Peace.

"Each postmark gets a little closer," he said.

"That, and they're all places I lived before coming to Charming."

"And all of these are sites in and around Atlanta, aye?"

"Yup."

He lowered himself into the chair and rubbed his chin. "Jesus Christ, lass. Why didn't you tell us?" He cast a look over his shoulder at Juice, who leaned against the kitchen doorjamb as he waited for the coffeemaker to beep.

He held up his hands. "I didn't know until tonight. We got home and that last one was tucked in the door."

"This blank one," Chibs said.

The one that had been left at Tara's—but of course he didn't know that.

"That's it." She pointed to the photograph. "Rat said that one was in the door when he got here this morning. It looks like it was probably there all night, judging by the state of the envelope."

"You were at Diosa last night."

"Mmhhmm. Not home to get his message."

"So Juicy's little jaunt to the whorehouse saved your life."

"No," she said with a grimace. "He wouldn't have killed me. Not last night. He might not even have knocked. Just left the picture with some creepy ass message and moved on."

"What makes you think that?" Juice said. "If he had you right there, why would he let you go?"

"I killed his son," she said. "Killing me is sort of…secondary. Not his top priority. He wants me to suffer. He'll destroy my whole life, and then he'll come for me. And if he kills me right away I'll be lucky."

There was no fear in her voice, none on her face. She was simply stating a series of facts, the way one might read from an encyclopedia.

Chibs cleared his throat and brushed his hands against his thighs. "Tell me, lass. Why Tara? I know you're close, but surely he coulda gone after Juicy last night. Lad was out of his head and wouldn't have put up much of a fight."

Juice snorted, but the coffee beeped before he could say anything. She stayed quiet until he came back with the mugs, one containing earl grey for her, and handed them out. He propped against the mantel. She glanced at him and lifted a brow. He hitched a shoulder.

She took a deep breath and turned back to Chibs. "I don't know how long he's been watching me. Long enough, at least, to know about TM, but that doesn't mean much. Wouldn't be hard to find that out, really."

"Aye…?" Chibs said.

She took a sip of tea. "I was with Tara last night. Before I went to Diosa, I gave her a ride home from the cabin."

He stared at her. She waved a hand.

"She called me and said she needed a ride home because Gemma had brought her up there and she didn't have her car. I had no idea what she was planning to do. I just thought she needed a ride."

"Hhmm," he said, a low, doubtful noise. "Ollie, lass, it seems to me you're often in the wrong place at the wrong time, caught up in events all innocent-like."

She fixed him with a long look. Her eyes were hard as glass, and just as sharp. "Believe what you want. I'm telling you how it was."

"It doesn't matter now either way," Juice said. "If Doyle—Flanary, whatever—or one of his guys saw them together last night, it could be why he came after her today. What we've gotta focus on is finding Flanary before he can get to anybody else. We can't let something like this happen again."

"I know it's at least partially my fault," she said. "I'm ready to accept that blame, because believe me—there's nothing the club could do to me that could hurt as much as living with the guilt. Eli is dead because of me. His child will grow up without a father because I didn't speak up. Tara could've been killed, and it's only by some sort of bizarre stroke of luck that she wasn't."

She carefully avoided looking at Juice. He had saved Tara's life when he tackled Gemma and the shot deflected. A straight-on hit and she'd be dead now.

Chibs sighed. "You're square with the club, lass. You should have told us, but you had no idea what would happen. You keep secrets the way a miser hoards money: it's the very nature of you."

He tapped a finger against his coffee mug. "Bobby's called full table. Jackie boy is, unfortunately, in jail, so he won't be able to make it."

"They don't think he—?" Juice broke off, astounded. It was a consequence that hadn't occurred to him.

"Nah, lad. Patterson is holding him to the deal. He's in on the KG-9."

"Where are the boys?" Olivia said.

"Gemma's. The nanny's with them. Gemma's at the hospital."

Another quick glance between Juice and Olivia. "Alone?" Olivia said.

"Wayne's with her."

"Good," she said and relaxed a little. "That's good. I should head that way too." She set her mug on the table and rose.

Chibs stood with her. "Lass, a mo'," he said and jerked his chin at Juice. He got the hint and disappeared into the kitchen.

"Somethin' on your mind, Chibby?" she said, softly.

"It would've saved me a lot of time if I'd just called Juicy about this," he said.

"That occurred to me."

He studied her through narrowed eyes. "I feel like there's more to this than you're tellin'."

"Do you?" She crossed her arms and let her chin drop. When she looked up again she wore a cold smile, keen and brittle. "It's a pretty good bet you're right, but as you pointed out—keeping secrets is in my nature. You know what you need to know. You know what's important."

"How 'bout you let me be the judge of that?"

"No," she said. Her head tilted and the dimple in her chin flashed. "I think you and your club have passed enough judgement on me to last a lifetime."

He flinched a little and held out a hand. "I came out here tonight to tell you face to face that I voted nay. You chose to cover for me when you didn't have to; that matters, and it created a debt between us. My vote clears it."

She nodded and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "You told me once that not everyone measures things in gains or losses, or views the people around them as commodities. That's stuck with me, you know? It seemed important."

Her face twisted. "Now you're gonna tell me you voted to save my life out of a sense of obligation? And now that obligation is met. So, what. I'm on my own? My next fuck up is on me?"

"That isn't entirely what I meant, lass."

She let out a short breath of amusement. "Then explain it to me, Chibs, because I'm confused. Is this what family is? Answer that. Because to me part of loving someone is giving them a little bit of leeway. People do stupid shit, Chibs. It's fucking life. If you can't forgive the people you love, then what's the goddamn point?"

"What's the point without honor?" he said through gritted teeth.

"Oh fuck your honor! Yes, it's important. Loyalty is important. But why are we loyal? What inspires it? What makes an oath mean anything more than hollow words?"

She threw out her arms. "It's love, Chibs. At the end of the day it's the only thing that separates us from savagery. Love." She stepped closer and lowered her voice. "If you want to stand here and tell me your vote was motived by some sort of lopsided debt, fine. I'll accept it. But don't think for one second that I'm so duty-bound."

"I never would, Olivia," he said, mildly.

"Good. Then you know that no matter how even you think we are, if it came down to it I'd save your life without hesitating. Because I love you. Because you're family to me. How you voted is irrelevant."

"Tell me, lass," he said after a long, loaded silence, "do you hate as fiercely as you love?"

"Oh, Chibby. Don't you ever doubt it. Two sides of the same coin as far as I'm concerned."

"Aye," he said with a slow nod. He paused. "You're a dangerous woman, Olivia. I'm not sure I mean that entirely as a compliment."

"Only dangerous under the right stimuli. Otherwise I'm meek as a kitten."

He laughed, sharp and loud. "As you say, lass."

Suddenly she seemed to crumble a bit, like ice melting. Her expression clouded. "I have this…memory. I don't know if it's true or not, because things were pretty fuzzy at the time. But…do you remember back when I was in the hospital? After…?" She gestured toward the side of her head, where they'd drilled into it.

He gave a short, puzzled nod. "Hard to forget."

She bit her lip a little. "I thought Juice said—that is, I kind of remember—he said y'all had been taking shifts. Like, outside my room. But he said"—her mouth quirked—"he said they couldn't get rid of you. You wouldn't leave."

He hesitated. "Aye," he said. "That's true. Gemma got Juicy away sooner."

When she looked up at him her eyes were bright with unshed tears. "That's the Chibs I know. That's the Chibs who inspires my loyalty. But a man who regards a vote to save my life as obligation on a debt? That man's a stranger to me."

He scraped a hand down his face. "We're a great deal alike, you and me. After I gave Juicy that beat down do you recall what you said to me?"

"I love you, but if you touch him again—"

"You'd kill me, aye." He took her gently by the shoulders, but his eyes were hard. "You have your line, lass, just as I've got mine. I love you, Ollie girl; I've told you that before. It hasn't changed."

"Do you still trust me?" she said, her voice thick and strained. That seemed to matter more than anything. He could read it in every line of her face.

"That is a complicated question."

She pulled out of his grip and turned away. Her gaze landed on the Turner print above the mantel. She stared at the ship, rendered small to the point of insignificance as it tried to ride the storm-tossed sea, and she wondered, not for the first time, if it would survive the storm, or sink like so much flotsam.

"You know," she said, seemingly apropos of nothing, "I met TJ Flanary when I was seventeen. I married him when I was eighteen. I was a kid. I mean, like all eighteen year olds I thought I wasn't. I thought I knew—everything. But I was young and naïve and so fucking stupid."

As she faced Chibs again she caught sight of Juice in the kitchen doorway. Their eyes met, briefly, and she managed a quick smile for him.

"I'm thirty-one now," she said to Chibs, "and I'm just as naïve as the girl who promised TJ Flanary for richer or poorer. I thought I could have a life. Friends. A family." She gestured at Chibs. "Love." A wave toward Juice. "I was living in this perfect little bubble. Okay, maybe perfect is hyperbole; there was the occasional explosion and brain injury; but compared to my old life? It was pretty fucking great."

She picked up the first postcard and ran a finger around the curve of the peach in the corner. "When Chucky handed me that envelope the bubble burst. My old life was suddenly right there, in living technicolor, and I realized I hadn't escaped a fucking thing. I was still running. I was still afraid. I was still paying for a mistake I made when I was eighteen years old."

"Lass, it was hardly—"

She lifted a hand to cut him off. "Don't say it wasn't my fault. That is a complicated question."

She pressed the card against his chest and jabbed two fingers against it. He caught it before it could flutter to the ground. "I'm not running anymore, Chibs. I'm not afraid anymore. You say that makes me dangerous; you're probably right. I say good. Because I am fucking well sick of men who think they own me."

Her gaze darted to Juice and back to Chibs. "Thank you for voting the way you did. But please don't think your table or your votes will hold me prisoner ever again. I hope you got what you needed"—she flicked her hair at him—"because if we're talking debts? Then I consider mine to SAMCRO paid in full."

She spun away, but Chibs' voice stopped her halfway to the hall. "We'll help you find your Teddy Flanary," he said, for lack of anything else.

"I know you will," she told him with a sharp smile that she tossed over her shoulder. "He's a danger to all of us now. You don't have any other choice." Then she was gone, and a moment later they heard the bedroom door slam.

Juice wandered into the living room, and he and Chibs shared a long look. "Watch her, lad," Chibs said. "Vengeance can take even the mildest soul to a dark place—and our Ollie has never been mild."

"I'm not going to let anyone hurt her, Chibs. What I did tonight was it. After we find Flanary and deal with him, I'm out. Out of Charming, out of SAMCRO—out."

"Aye, lad," he said, wearily. "Can't say anyone will be surprised to hear it."

He kept the rest of his thoughts to himself: it seemed to him that Olivia was far more a danger to herself than anyone else. She was a storm of fury and pain carefully contained by a brittle shell that could shatter at the slightest nudge. He could only hope she would be pointed in the right direction when it happened.

He sighed. "Make sure she gets to the hospital okay and then come to the shop. We'll wait for you." He gathered up the postcards and shoved them under his hoodie. "Ride safe, brother."

"Yeah, Chibs," Juice said. "You too. Watch your back."

Juice pushed open the bedroom door and propped himself against the jamb. She sat at the vanity with a pair of scissors and tried to even out her hair. He watched until she grew frustrated and threw them away with a disgusted snort.

He stepped up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. She tilted her head to press her cheek against one of them.

"I told Chibs I'm leaving as soon as we find Flanary," he said.

She said nothing, just nodded.

He leaned down to kiss her temple. "Tara's not dead, babe."

"I know. Might be hard work to keep her that way."

"You think Gemma'll try again?"

"She doesn't have much choice, does she? If Tara comes out of surgery okay and remembers what happened, she'll tell Jax or the cops or somebody. Anything to keep Gemma away from the boys. Gemma's not stupid; she knows how much trouble she's in."

"So what do we do?"

She lifted her head and tangled her fingers with his. Tugged his hand over her shoulder and kissed his knuckles. They were scraped, freshly. "What happened to your hand?" she said.

"Same thing that happened to yours," he said with a nod toward the hand she'd so abused in the shower. "Punched a wall a few times."

"Ah." She flexed her fingers. "Might need to wrap it. Wasn't completely recovered from being broken in three places a few months ago."

He traced the line of her jaw with his free hand. His eyes in the mirror were sad. "You really think we're gonna be okay, Liv?"

She spun around and pulled him down so that their faces were level. "One Flanary or another has ruined everything good I've ever had in my life. I'm not letting Teddy ruin this."

"Huh," he said. His brow creased. "That the only reason? Just sheer stubbornness?"

"Ohh fuck you, Ortiz," she said.

He sat back on his heels and pulled her off the chair and into his lap. He buried his hands in her hair and kissed her. He teased her with his tongue, flicking it against her lips and tongue until she yanked him closer by his shirt and captured his mouth with hers.

"You're everything to me, Liv. You know that, right? I'm nothing without you. You make me better than I ever thought I could be."

"Shut up, Juicy. Fuck that. Fuck all of that." She raised up on her knees so that she was above him. She still had a fistful of his t-shirt, and she used it to hold him still as she kissed him again and again, barely coming up for air between each hot, fervent melding of their lips.

He kneaded her ass with both hands and she rocked into him.

"We need to get to the hospital," she mumbled against his mouth.

"I know," he said. His skimmed his tongue down her throat "You started it."

She took his face in her hands and stared him in the eye. "I'm exactly where I want to be, Juice. Do you understand that? Everything else might be fucked all to hell and back, but this? You and me? It's the one really good thing I have left. I came really close to throwing it away, and I'm not gonna risk losing you again."

"I'm not goin' anywhere, Olivia." He yanked her hips so that she dropped down onto him. Caressed her thighs and nipped at her lips as her arms went around his neck.

"I'll marry you if want," he said.

She froze. He'd said it so casually she wasn't sure she'd heard him right.

He lifted his head and met her suddenly wary look. He grinned a little half-smile. "I'm just sayin'. If you're into it."

She laughed, nervous and tense, and pressed a palm to her mouth. "That's the most ridiculous proposal I've ever heard. Was that a proposal?"

"Sure," he said with a shrug. "Because, I mean. We're both in this for the long haul, right? So why not make it legal?"

"My last marriage wasn't exactly the fairy tale."

"Neither is this," he said. "We're two of the most fucked up people I've ever met. Apart we're a goddamn mess, but together, somehow, we work. We're better. Isn't that why you marry someone?"

Her eyes were huge, stunned, and he pressed a kiss to her mouth. "Just think about it, Liv. I love you. I don't want this with anyone else."

She swallowed hard. He slid her off his lap and stood. Reached down to help her up. She accepted his hand, and once she was on her feet she didn't let go.

"You're full of surprises, Juan Carlos," she said in a soft, wondering tone.

"Gotta keep you on your toes, don't I?"

Her arms slipped around his waist and she rested her cheek against his chest. "You gonna buy me a ring, Ortiz?"

"You want a ring?"

"No," she said with a shudder. "I absolutely don't want a ring."

He ran his fingers through her hair. "Yeah," he said. "I didn't really think so."

He could only imagine what sort of rock her ex had bought to impress seventeen-year-old Olivia, or what other bits and baubles he'd decorated her with over the course of their time together. She never wore jewelry, not even her mother's necklace that she kept in the box on her bureau. Gemma had given her a real pretty pair of earrings for her last birthday, and he'd been there when she'd opened them. Gemma had gotten one look at her face and taken the box back without a word. The next day Olivia had worn a set of tortoiseshell combs in her hair, and when Chucky commented on them she said they'd been a birthday gift from Gemma.

Jewelry was not the way to Olivia Gable's heart.

Neither was cutting her hair with a knife, but apparently she was ready to forgive him for that.

She pulled away with a little sniffle. "I should get dressed. You've gotta get to the shop and I don't want Gemma alone with Tara."

"I'll take you to the hospital," he called as she ducked into the closet.

"On your bike?" She poked her head out with an impatient scowl. "I'd really rather have my car."

"I know you would, but—look, Liv, please don't argue with me. Not tonight."

She opened her mouth as though to do just that, but then she closed it. "Okay," she said after a moment. She disappeared again and emerged with a blue dress with white polkadots. "I guess I won't wear this then."

It was probably his favorite thing she owned (that could be worn in public), and it made him grin. "Wear it anyway. Nothin' like a pretty girl in a short skirt on the back of a bike."

"In your wet dreams, Ortiz. I think I'll stick to jeans."

"Oh well," he said, regretfully. "Worth a try."

A moment later the dress hit him in the face. "You wear it!"

"Maybe later, babe," he said and draped it over the chair. "Doesn't really go with my boots."

The sound of her laughter—bright and free and honest—warmed the room and deepened his smile. That was a sound he could hear every day for the rest of his life and never complain.

She hopped off the bike and handed him the helmet. Twisted her hair up and tugged on a hat. "Well?" she said.

"Very cute. Like Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca."

She shook her head. "Never stop surprising me, Juicy. Reason number six."

He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him for a kiss. "So you still owe me four."

"I'll get to them. Patience, m'love." She kissed his nose. "Call me later, okay? Let me know how it goes."

"I will. Be careful, Olivia."

"You too, Juice."

She waved at him once she was inside. He lifted a hand in return, revved the engine, and rode off. As he left her line of sight she noticed a tall, dark-haired man leaning against an old blue Pontiac Bonneville. He lit a cigarette, and the flare illuminated his face and piercing eyes. He nodded in her direction and she nodded back.

Well, she thought and turned away. Apparently Teddy had grown bored with the subtlety of mere postcards.

Tara was out of surgery, and she'd been moved to neuro ICU on the third floor. When Olivia got off the elevator she immediately saw Gemma slumped in a chair next to Wayne. Red-the-prospect stood against the wall with his arms crossed.

Unser saw her first. He nudged Gemma, who quickly rose and crossed to her. She offered a hug, which Olivia returned stiffly. Gemma cupped her face and studied her with worried eyes.

"You okay, baby?" she said.

"You're asking me?" Olivia said with a wry twist to her mouth. "I think of all of us I'm probably doin' the best. How's Tara?"

Gemma didn't so much as bat an eye. "She's not too bad. The doctor said the next twenty-four hours are critical. If she wakes up, great. If she doesn't…"

She trailed off and Olivia nodded. There was no need to finish the sentence. Her brows drew together. "Can we talk somewhere? I need your help with something."

"Sure, sweetheart. Let's go to Tara's office."

Olivia gritted her teeth. Gemma's ease was almost more than she could take. She swallowed her fury and mustered a smile. "Great. I'll meet you down there." She nodded down the hall. "Gotta pee," she said.

Olivia waited until Gemma was in the elevator before she sat down next to Wayne. He patted her hand. "Glad you're here," he said. "Gemma needs someone else to talk to."

"What are the cops saying?"

"Not much, to me. Eli and I had a certain mutual respect, but the rest of the department—" He broke off with a shrug. "They'll probably appoint someone from outside Sanwa County as interim Sheriff until they can get a permanent replacement. Also, I'd imagine, from outside the county."

"They won't want to risk anyone with a connection to SAMCRO."

"Bingo," he said.

She shifted in her seat. "Listen. I'm going to say something to you right now, and I don't want you to ask how I know. Okay?"

He frowned, but after a moment he nodded. "I guess you've earned a little trust. What's up?"

"I think, when they look, that they'll find the weapon used to shoot Tara wasn't the same one used on Eli. You've probably learned enough to get that this was a professional hit. So why isn't Tara dead? Pros don't miss."

His eyes narrowed. "You think you know who ordered the hit?"

"I absolutely know who ordered the hit. But I don't think his guys shot Tara. That was someone else altogether. I think it was kinda personal, maybe."

"Ollie, who—?"

She shrugged and pushed to her feet. "Don't know, Wayne. Pretty short list of suspects."

"Olivia." He grabbed her hand. "You can't go to the club with this. They'll kill her."

Her eyes were steady on his. "I haven't decided what I'm going to do." Her voice dropped and she leaned closer. "I do know she's not getting anywhere near those boys, or their mother. You love her, don't you?"

His silence answered the question better than any words could.

"Keep her away from Tara, Wayne. Don't let her do something stupid."

"Seems like it's a little too late for that."

Her mouth quirked in bitter appreciation. "I know you'll do what you can. You'd do anything for her. That's what love's all about, isn't it?"

So there are three songs that, to me, perfectly capture the spirit of this fic: "C'mon Baby" by Bob Schneider, "The Question" by Jeremy Aggers, and "I Just Knew" by Better Than Ezra. Honorable mention to "Changing My Mind," also by Bob, for the sad bits. I think I will make a playlist on 8tracks, but when I initially had that idea I had no idea how many songs I'd be using. So I might have to make, like, part I and part II or something. Um, I'm rambling.