Sorry is Never Enough

Disclaimer: I don't own the 100 or its characters.

Author's Note: This is a few weeks later, after Clarke and Finn have been together and Raven has crash-landed. Again, this is much darker and Clarke/Bellamy are probably somewhat OOC for some readers' tastes. For example, Clarke may seem selfish or spoiled, but she's just very tired and overwhelmed. Bellamy is downright hateful, but he's also overwhelmed. Bear with them and with me. M rating is for language and possible future situations. Thank you for reading, reviewing, following, and favoriting! Let me know what you think!

Chapter 2

Two weeks later, Clarke woke in the early morning to the usual sounds of the camp, people milling about talking as they worked. They were recovering slowly from the storm. Rather, the others were recovering from the storm and building a life together on Earth, Clarke was merely existing. She lay on her pallet in the bottom of the drop ship and thought about the past few weeks. Wells was gone. Charlotte was gone. Finn may as well have been, though she really didn't have any ill will toward Raven for reclaiming him. Finn had disrespected them both with his actions. Clarke resisted smacking herself in the forehead every time she thought about how she had let herself trust and be distracted by the Spacewalker. She felt incredibly stupid. But not for long, she told herself.

Bellamy Blake may have hated her and he may have induced the rest of the camp to be leery of her after the situation with Charlotte, but she was done being a sitting duck for grounders and Bellamy's verbal punching bag. Though he had hardly spoken to her in recent days, when he had, it was with disdain and to mock her every suggestion. She was finished trying to help him or reason with him. Octavia had said to give her brother time, that he didn't handle grief or sadness well and it was just his way to lash out when he was upset. Clarke had bit her tongue to keep from telling Octavia to shove the psycho-babble where the sun didn't shine. She was tired of excuses, when it came to Bellamy, to Finn, to her mother. She was just so damn tired.

Groaning, she forced herself to roll over and push on to her feet to start her day. She had a plan forming in her mind and she wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep anyway. She stretched and folded her pallet back up to a manageable size and thought about how much of it she would be able to carry with her. She didn't have many personal items and even if she had, she preferred to pack and haul rations and practical tools. She needed to be smart if she was going to get where she was headed safely and quickly.

Exiting the drop ship, she looked out at the camp and suddenly heard a commotion coming from the other side of the drop ship. Octavia appeared and rushed to grab her arm, pulling Clarke in the direction she had just come from.

"Octavia, what's going on? Is someone hurt?" Clarke wasn't sure she was up to facing yet another injury so early in the day. She tried to stay patient and clear-headed, but she couldn't muster the energy for it today. She'd made up her mind to go and she wanted to be gone as soon as possible. Monty, Jasper and Octavia knew enough now that they'd be able to help the injured until Bellamy figured something out. They really didn't need her and she tried to convince herself that she didn't need them. She needed peace.

Octavia continued to drag her around the ship and quickly explained the newest development in trying to contact the Ark. "Raven got the radio working! She's speaking with your mother now and asked me to come get you. Your mother wants to talk to you." Clarke immediately dug her heels in and ripped her arm from Octavia's grasp. She balked at the idea of talking to her mother and didn't want to be anywhere near Raven right now, no matter how useful the mechanic was proving to be for communication with the Ark. But this meant she could leave without feeling guilty about it. The sooner the better.

"I, umm, I have to go check on Finn's wound. I'll be right there." Octavia looked at her like she'd grown a second head, but shrugged and let her go as Clarke quickly ducked back into the other drop ship entrance and began throwing her things into her pack. She had no intention of checking on Finn or speaking with her mother ever again. The two people that had hurt her the most could comfort themselves, or not, for all she cared. It was time to take care of herself. She could imagine her dad telling her to stop and think things through, but she couldn't let that stop her. It was time to go.

She exited the ship and made her way silently to the edge of camp, trying not to attract any attention to herself or the overstuffed bag she carried. As she reached the edge of the clearing where the 100 had set up tents and work stations, she picked up speed only to be jerked back by a strong hand gripping her forearm. She whipped around to see the third person she hoped to never speak with again.

Bellamy stared down at her with unmasked anger and a hint of disgust, his eyes nearly black with his dislike for the petite woman in front of him. "Where exactly do you think you're going, Princess?" His sneer made her skin crawl and she wondered how she had ever seen any good in him. She jerked from his grasp, rubbing her arm where he had gripped it tightly.

"What is it with you Blakes and not respecting personal boundaries? Keep your hands to yourself, King." The nickname was thrown with such sarcasm and bitterness Bellamy had to keep himself from stepping back in surprise. Good, Clarke thought, she could give it just as good as he did.

He recovered quickly and smirked. "Don't flatter yourself, Griffin. And don't answer a question with a question. Where. Are. You. Going."

Clarke knew she couldn't tell him the truth. She kept the lie simple and began walking quickly as she threw the explanation over her shoulder. "I'm going to gather more herbs for medicine."

He caught up to her and stepped in her path, forcing her to step first to the left then to the right when he sidestepped her at every turn. Bellamy wasn't going to let her go anywhere unless he felt like it.

He looked down at her and studied the determined expression on her face before narrowing his eyes. "Despite what you privileged think of janitors, I'm not actually stupid. You don't need a whole pack to gather medicinal herbs, Clarke. Now tell me where you're really going."

She couldn't help throwing her arms up in frustration before settling them on her hips. "Why do you care?! Don't you have many more worthy people or things to worry about?" Bellamy didn't miss the wounded tone in her voice. He didn't doubt she realized how she'd sounded when she quickly swept around him to continue walking toward the newly reconstructed and nearly finished wall around camp.

He caught up once again and looked relieved when she paused at the sound of his voice. He hid his relief as she faced him and added extra venom to his next words for good measure. "Let's be very real with each other, Clarke. I don't care about you. I care about this camp. And you affect this camp. I need to know where our only healer is sneaking off to." He paused, then pasted a vicious leer on his face as he came to a realization. "Are you going to meet the Spacewalker somewhere, Princess? Is that why you need your bed roll?"

Clarke gasped at the insinuation and whirled around to face him, her fury evident in every feature. She had known everyone in camp knew of her previous indiscretion with Finn, but it hadn't been spoken of since Raven had arrived and fully staked her claim. She thought everyone had some modicum of respect for privacy. Wrong again, she thought to herself. Her hands shook as she pointed a finger at his chest and punctuated each word with a jab in his direction. "You, Bellamy Blake, are a fucking bastard. I knew you were guilty of a lot of things, but because you loved your sister, I never expected you to be capable of such intolerable cruelty."

Bellamy remained stalwart and unmoving. He looked down at her literally and figuratively and she expected him to yawn to express his lack of interest in her tirade. She worked hard to regain her composure and kept her voice cold and uncaring, much like the tall man in front of her. "I am going to search for resources. I am going alone and I am not coming back until and when I'm ready." She refused to tell him she wasn't coming back, that she'd rather be grounder bait than remain in a camp run by a hateful megalomaniac who seemed obsessed with lobbing insults at her whenever the opportunity arose.

His loud chuckle made her want to slap him, but she forced herself to remain calm. She would be away from him and the rest of her problems soon. She just had to get him to leave her alone once and for all.

"What makes you think I would allow that, Griffin? You're needed here, whether you and I like it or not." He crossed his arms and waited for her answer, thinking he would get the best of her by appealing to her need to be needed and recognized as a healer.

Now she smirked. "Actually, you don't. Raven made contact with the Ark this morning. The radio signal is holding strong. You can direct any and all medical questions to my mother and when the drop ships from the Ark begin coming down, you'll have actual doctors to depend on. Or at least the others will, you'll probably be floated as soon as Jaha gets ahold of you." When he didn't immediately respond, she hoisted her pack higher and turned, not intending to stop again until she was far from the camp and the 100.

Bellamy's mind raced thinking over her words and debating their truthfulness. He ignored her comment about Jaha, choosing to focus on how the camp would proceed without her. But he didn't stop her. He still blamed her for Charlotte's death and the chaos that had preceded it. He couldn't let it go and he couldn't let her go without one last jab.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish then! Don't worry, we won't be missing you!"

She turned to see him waving and was glad they were both out of earshot of the rest of the camp. She raised a middle finger and waved to him with it. She had an irresistible urge to wipe that smirk off his face.

She smiled her sweetest smile and began walking backwards grasping the strap of her bag with both hands. "You would know an awful lot about rubbish, wouldn't you, Janitor Blake?" The smirk fell from his face and she turned passing through the wall, knowing he wouldn't follow. An overwhelming contentment settled over her. She was finally free.