Sorry is Never Enough

Disclaimer: I do not own the 100 or its characters.

Author's Note: I'm not sure what's going on with the last two chapters not showing up, but I think it's fixed now. I'm posting this chapter and may not get to post another until after this weekend. Thank you so much for reading/reviewing/following/favoriting! The chapters are picking up a bit in length, but will continue to vary with how the story flows. Let me know what you think! :)

Chapter 8

Clarke wondered what she had done in a past life to deserve the last few years of chaos. First her father was floated, then she was jailed, sent to Earth like disposable cargo, witnessed Charlotte's death, and forced to interact with Bellamy Blake. Karma is to bitch as Clarke's life is to perfect example.

She sat in the tent for several hours, trying to mediate as Jeshua had taught her. Normally she would listen to the sounds around her, alternately trying to focus on them and then block them. Normally she was surrounded by nature and the calming wind and water noises of the valley. Normally the sounds around her didn't include members of the 100 arguing over whose turn for guard duty it was and discussing what number of days between baths was acceptable. It may have been at one time, but this wasn't her normal anymore and she knew she could only take so much before breaking.

Octavia broke through Clarke's reverie by choosing that moment to push her way past the guards and into Bellamy's tent. "Get out of my way, I don't care what my brother told you. I'm going in there and if you don't take your hands off me, I promise you, you'll hear from Bellamy about it."

Suddenly Octavia was inside and Clarke was enveloped in a tight hug. Neither girl was accustomed to such displays of friendship, particularly with each other, and there was an awkward moment of silence when they pulled apart. Clarke was surprised to find she was glad at least one person had missed her.

Octavia scanned Clarke and finally settled on her eyes, asking her succinctly, "Are you alright? I'm going to kill Bellamy for this."

Clarke didn't say anything if she was surprised by Octavia's concern, but Octavia could see relief on her face as if she had expected the dark-haired girl to also chew her out about where she'd been over the past weeks. "I'm okay. Just rudely jerked back into reality once again. And don't deny me the pleasure of killing your brother once I figure a way out of this. I feel like I'm in another bad dream."

Octavia grew quiet and her face was serious as she told Clarke what she thought of her situation in a solemn tone. "No one understands why he's doing this. We all know you'd never do anything to hurt us. And if your grounder friend really wanted to do something, he would have done it by now. You've been cooped up in here for three days, for god's sake!"

Clarke smirked, "Oh, is that all?"

Octavia continued on, not pausing to laugh at Clarke's attempt at humor. "I don't mean to berate you, but what the hell is going on? You walk away from camp and then get carried back by a knight in dirty grounder armor and you won't say so much as a word about what happened all this time you were away. Bellamy is fit to be tied that you won't tell him anything and he's getting more and more pissy with the rest of the camp."

Clarke grimaced at the atmosphere Bellamy was creating out of the tension between the two of them. Her captivity was now affecting the entire camp because he wouldn't even let her outside to treat minor injuries. She had even heard the guards mumbling that Bellamy had gone off the deep end along with Charlotte. Crude as their comments were, Clarke could feel unrest brewing within the 100 and knew that Bellamy was too blinded by rage and power to see it. She could see now how she had damaged the infrastructure of order here when she had questioned his authority concerning Murphy and Charlotte. We're all going to suffer if he loses control of this camp.

Clarke shrugged with the weight of her silent realization and looked up at Octavia. "I'm sorry, I don't know what to say or do to make this better. I wouldn't have come back if Jeshua had brought me. This is all out of my hands."

Octavia was flabbergasted at the idea of Clarke giving up or giving up control, but she knew by Clarke's expression that she wasn't even close to joking. "What is even going on here? Between you and Bellamy both riding the crazy train, everyone's miserable. Snap out of it, we all need you two to figure your shit out and lead us. He's lost his damn mind, Clarke."

Chuckling lightly, Clarke whispered more to herself than to the other girl, "I know a thing or two about that."

Octavia nearly rolled her eyes at Clarke being strangely cryptic and seemingly unhelpful. "Screw this, I'm going to go enjoy what time I have left on Earth before this all blows up in our faces." She turned to leave and Clarke reached out, grabbing her arm to stop her.

"Octavia, wait. If there's anything I've learned over the last few weeks, it's that you can't close yourself off completely and there are too many things in this world you can't do alone. I'll tell Bellamy where I was and what I was doing…if you agree to be there when I tell him."