**** I just got back from the Wizarding world of Harry Potter in Orlando ! So crowded but amazing ! I drank butterbeer and pumpkin juice, and got a chocolate frog ! Totally Geeked out ... Oh and I got engaged in DisneyWorld ! so sorry the huge delay.

Chapter 11

What a girl wants

Ginny's POV

"Well, I think I'll take a nap" I say hoping to get this annoying girl to quit talking to me. We have been on the train back to school for almost an hour, she has not stopped talking since she sat down.

Her name is Avielle, a transfer from some school in America but I don't know if I believe her because her accent sounds fake. I've never really spent allot of time with anyone from America but I swear this girl sounds British. Anyway who the hell transfers in their last year of school? Whatever, I think she tried to explain but by that time I was tuning her out completely. I am so not in the market for new friends although I should be ,I am here alone, I quit hanging out with all my friends that were my age to hang out with the Slytherins. I cannot stand the thought of trying to reconnect with those airheads.

I lean my head on the window and close my eyes. I miss him, I miss him so much. I am almost certain that I will forget everything I have learned from my therapist over the past few weeks. Without continuing to see her throughout the year I don't know if I can stay strong. I think I just need a new interest. I would like a guy but I don't think I want to chance putting him in danger like Andre.

At some point I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know the new bubbly blonde is shaking me awake. I look out the window and see we have made it to school. I feel so tired I don't even want to go to the feast. I just want to settle back into my room, I was told over the summer I would be reprising my role as head girl, Fine with me I can push all the associated work off onto the prefects and have some privacy.

After all the stupid little first years and Avielle ( seriously who transfers in their last year?) are sorted and we eat it is finally time to go to bed. The prefects take the new students to the their common rooms. Avielle to my great annoyance is sorted into Gryffindor and starts tailing me.

" Avielle" say turning around abruptly one step above her.

"You have to go to the common room. I'm head girl, I have my own room."

" Can't I see it?"

Hell no I think to myself, I cannot have her annoying ass knowing where my room is.

" Not tonight, I'll see you in class tomorrow." I say leaving her there. When did I become such a bitch? Maybe I was one all along and I'm just know acting myself. I like the thought of that.

I settle myself in the room and can't help but remember all the times Tom came to me in this room. I sigh heavily and flop on the bed and stare up at the ceiling for what seems like hours.

I miss him damn it. I almost can't stand it. When I go to sleep I dream of him. Of his eyes, of his quick wit, of his lips, his hands and the way he would touch me. I never had that before and don't think I will ever again. I mean something that good can only be once in a lifetime. The chemistry we had was just, I don't even know and now I've lost him.

My days are tedious. I don't want to learn this crap, I thought I did. It just doesn't seem that important to me anymore. I just feel like I am crawling out of my skin. I don't feel like myself and I hate it. I thought I would feel better here.

"Ginny,Ginny" I here from behind me as I make my way towards the great hall for lunch, I know who it is before I even turn around.

" Hello, Avielle." I said through gritted teeth

" Are you going to lunch?"

Duh, I think. "yes"

"I'll go with you. I haven't talked to you in ages." You were up my butt last night at dinner, you twit.

As we ate she babbled on and on. I picked at my food, not having much of an appetite.

" Ginny, I know that we haven't known each other that long but are you ok?"

" What do you mean?"

" Well,you just aren't very sociable, you hardly ever eat and you spend allot of time in your room."

" I well... I appreciate your concern I just have allot on my mind. I just went through a really bad breakup."

" Oh I'm sorry. Does he go to school here?"

" No, He uh lives in Ireland. I spend summers there ever since I was a kid. I've known him a long time."

" Do you mind if I ask why you broke up?"

" Uh, Its complicated but lets just say our lives were taking us in different directions."

" I'm sorry Ginny, Look I didn't mean to pry or to annoy you. I just, well I'm here if you need to talk."

" Thanks, I...I am sorry if I have been rude. I'm just...shattered. Damaged. Have been for a long time. With that I excuse myself not wanting to elaborate.

_ Tom's POV_

" Damaged?" What does she mean by that?

"I'm not sure My Lord." Avielle responded. She had been spying on me for a few weeks now. I just wanted to be able to keep an eye on Ginny. As I look at the young girl nervously shifting her weight from on foot to the other, her features were gradually turning back to Parkinson as the polyjuice potion wore off.

" Has she dated anyone?"

" You don't understand, She doesn't do much of anything. She just really is not herself. She is withdrawn, She hates me being around her, she hardly even eats. I am worried about her."

" She won't eat?"

" No, My Lord, She looks thin, tired and stressed all the time. I don't know what to do for her. I think there is only one...person...who c..could fix this." She says nervously.

" She doesn't know what she wants. You can go." I sat down in the chair by the fireplace with a glass of fire whiskey. What is she doing to herself? I never wanted to feel this way about anyone. I don't need this aggravation but I find I can't stop myself. Perhaps I should bring her back to the manor. Obviously we function better together then apart. I yell for a house elf to tell Lucius to have Snape sneak her a sleeping potion and bring her to the manor along with her stuff. I make people miserable every day, why can't I stand to have her be miserable, What is different about her? I'm not sure but I guess the least I can do is try to find out.

_Ginny's POV_

I'm sprawled out on my bed after the most restful nights sleep in weeks. I cuddle into the covers and turned over a few times. Stretching my arms and legs I smile feeling Hopeful that the day will be better then all the others. For some unexplained reason I feel content, hopeful and happy. Almost as if I had taken a calming draught. Happy is not really a word that has been in my vocabulary recently. I don't know what time it is, I hope its still really early because I don't want to get up. I never want to get up, my therapist would have my head if she knew I was acting like this. I wish I was stronger. I suddenly realize I have to pee really bad so I groan and open my eyes because I know I won't be able to go back to sleep with a full bladder. I put my feet on the ground and finally open my eyes as I put my hair in a messy bun. I drop my arms in a huff when I realize that I am not at school but in my old room at Malfoy manner.

" Uh Tom I don't think I can take much more of your mind games." I whisper out loud before going to the bathroom. I don't know why he brought me here and I am too emotionally drained to care. He must have giving me a calming potion as well as sleeping because I literally feel the happiness slipping away. It's a terrible felling, you are happy, even though you don't know why. Then the next moment all of that slips away and your thoughts are your own again.

I decided to take a bath and let the emotions take over me. While I was crying in the tub I came to a decision that I would make myself numb to Tom and whatever it was he was going to say or do. I will not become any more emotionally invested than I already was.

I relish in the warm water and the vanilla scented bubble bath. I slowly let myself slip under the water, I used to do this when I was little, I liked when I would come up and the bubbles would be all over my head, I was kind of a stupid kid, It didn't really take much to amuse me. I resurface and dip down a few times, I am about to come up again after testing my lung capacity and finding I can hold my breath allot longer then I thought I could when I am pulled roughly out by my left arm.

" Ouch, What the hell"

"Get out"

" Wait, stop, your hurting me." I yell as I scramble to my feet, A towel is roughly wrapped around me as I am flung over a should and carried into the bed room.

" What is your problem" I yell as Tom drops me on the bed.

" Get dressed, I'll wait." He said as he sat down on the window seat.

" You are such an ass hole." I say wrapping the towel around me and going to the dresser. Its inexplicably filled with my stuff. I pull on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt then go to style my hair and do my makeup, making sure to take my time, I know the longer I make him wait the madder he will get.

To my surprise he doesn't come barging in so I take one last cleansing breath and exit the bathroom.

" Happy?" I say gesturing to my outfit. He thinks I don't notice his eyes moving over my body before he curtly replies " Took you long enough"

" I can't win with you" I say sitting on the chair opposite him and crossing my legs. "Why am I here?"

" Because I hear you are not taking care of yourself." He waved his wand and I could feel my glamour spells melt away. I had gotten very good at charming away the dark circles under my eyes and my unwashed hair.

" You hear? from who?"

" Yes, I hear, I hear from my source. I had hoped my Ginny wouldn't be so stupid but I can see you have stopped caring for yourself." The intensity of his stare made me feel small. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

" Don't call me that, I am not your Ginny per your request. I'm moving on."

" But you aren't though are you? You're wallowing."

" So what, Let me process. Eventually I will get over you." I could feel my anger rising.

" What if I don't want you to get over me?"

" To many ifs in that sentence Tom, don't go there."

" You look unhealthy." He says Ignoring my last remark.

" I'm fine. Anyway my health is no longer your concern."

" You will always be my concern."

" No Tom, No. You can't do this to me. Its not fair. I deserve a life, I deserve all the things I want. You cannot or will not give them to me. I am not settling. So talk all you want but I am an open drain."

" What the hell does that mean? Open drain?"

" It means that anything you say runs right down the drain, I will not listen, I will not respond. I will no longer engage you in any way."

" Oh sure, I bet I can get you to engage." He said slowly raking his eyes over her body. Ididn't look at him when he got up and made his way over to me. He pulls me up and starts running his hands all over me as he starts kissing my neck. I melt into him for a moment until I feel myself coming to my senses. I push him away and walk across the room, increasing the space between us.

" You can't do this to me, I want things you can't give me."

He slowly walks towards me again, I move backwards until I feel the wall behind me. I avert my eyes from his intense gaze. He hooks a finger under my chin making me look at him.

" What is it you want?" I don't answer I am afraid I will say "you". With him being so close I find myself responding to him physically. His hands run down my neck, across my shoulders and down my arms. He takes hold of my left hand and pins the right about my head when I try to push him away. Lacing his fingers with mine he lifts our linked hands to my line of sight. Running his thumb over my knuckles he begins playing with my fingers.

" You want a husband" Still I don't answer, I follow his gaze, I look at my hand, try to imagine a gold band on my ring finger and wonder if he is thinking the same. He drops my hand and slides his down my neck, over my chest to my stomach.

"You want to have a baby" He says slipping a hand under my shirt to trace circles on my skin. I stay silent, I couldn't talk if I wanted to, I don't know what to say.

"I see it, you know" He pauses and moves his eyes to meet mine.

"I never have before, I see you pregnant with my child." My mouth goes dry at the thought. I have to remind myself who he is. A master manipulator who will say anything to get what he wants.

" Isn't that what you want?" His hand thats holding mine above my head tightens when I don't answer.

" I did" I whisper. He raises an eyebrow to that.

" Not anymore?"

" No, because I know that is not what you want."

" I just told you I see it."

" You don't have the gift of foresight Tom, Just because you can picture it does not make it so."

" What if I said I would give you a child?"

" Stop, I can't do this. Please, stop, it hurts to much." I say tears forming in my eyes.

" What hurts? I just said I would give you what you want." He's getting angry, I can tell by the aggressiveness in his tone.

" Realizing that I don't mean anything to you."

" What?" He releases me roughly. "How can you say that? "

" Realizing that I am just another person you can manipulate. Lie to and use for your own selfish motives."

" My own selfish motives, I just said I'd have a child with you."

" Yes, you did. For none of the right reasons. Just so you can try to make me stay. You think I will just have your child and agree to be the wife of someone who never wanted a wife or kid but just agreed so I will be available to you for sex on demand"

" You know you mean more to me, more then anyone else has in my life." He takes hold of my shoulders. " Why can't you see that." He says through gritted teeth as he shakes me roughly and pushed me back against the wall.

" You don't show it. Frankly I am not sure if I will ever be able to trust you. I have thought about this long and hard Tom. I need to go back to school and I need you to stay out of my life. We are no longer involved. Please let me go back and do not interfere with my life. I need to move on. If you cared about me, you would let me. Let me go"

The look in his eye is deadly. For the first time in a long time I am afraid to be around him. I realize my right hand is very close to the door, I reach out and try to turn the door knob but before I can he grabs my arm and has me pinned again to the wall.

" Please, let me be." I whisper, tears streaming down my cheeks. He leans in and kisses me roughly on the mouth before placing his lips so close to my ear that I can feel his breath tickle my skin, sending goosebumps over my body.

"No" He says quietly but no less threatening. Before I can respond he is gone. I sink to the floor in shock.

"If you loved me you would" I say to the empty room.