Ella woke up pissed. The couple underneath her where fighting with each other; and she was so done. Ella put on a bra and a pair of shorts rather haphazardly and walked out into the hallway and up to the door of 221B and rang the doorbell rapidly. "Dammit Sherlock, get the head off the table by the time I'm back!" an angry voice yelled. "But John, I'm working on a-" this John fellow interrupted him; "I. Don't. Give. A. Damn."
He opened the door. "A little late at night for me to deal with your marital strife don't you think?" Ella bitched. John's mouth fell open at the teenage girl in front of him. "Oh god, your attractive" he let slip out before collecting himself as Ella snapped her fingers in his face. "Listen, John, can I call you John? I'm gonna call you John; the next time your husband gets cranky just get him laid, because quite frankly, I can't deal with this shit this late at night when I have an interview in the morning, so the next time your spouse needs a shag-" John caught up with her and cut her off. "We are NOT a couple, I'm perfectly heterosexual and he's-well he abstains from shagging at all so-"
"John I put the head back in the freeze-" Sherlock stopped dead in the doorway. "Ahh, you must be miss Carmine, a pleasure" he said sticking his hand out to be shaken. Ella not so ceremoniously declined by pushing his hand away. "And you must be the husband" she said talking to Sherlock. John protested, but Sherlock cut him off.
"Your hair has been freshly died, within the week I would assume, by the dark circles under your eyes you haven't slept well in just about that much time, your little finger's nail is longer than the other which would imply a cocaine addiction, but judging by your looks it is a past event in your life. By the tilt of your hips your used to copulating on a weekly basis, the way your pupils are dilated gives way to the idea that your ready to attack. Your single, I can tell by the fact that you aren't wearing any make up, not even a trace, says that you haven't worn make up in at least a week. You clenching your jaw, sensing that you think I know something, which I may or may not; I haven't deduced that yet. Your accent is American but your clearly still a young woman, how old are you? mid-twenties?" he asked her.
Ella looked at him with fire in her eyes. "19" she muttered. John's eyes nearly popped out of his skull. "Wait, WHAT?" he looked at Ella. "19!?" he gasped out, continuing behind Sherlock's added commentary. "Ah, so running away, yes, that's it. Your just a normally boring person; but I'll be seeing you around the morgue with Molly I'm sure." He turned to go back into his flat, when Ella grabbed his arm. "How in the hell did you know I was being hired by the morgue?" she growled. John looked at her; "you said it was an interview!" he cried, utterly confused by all the goings on about him.
"I'm always hired, besides; I can hold my liquor, know my bones and can deal with some pretty grotesque mutilation. What's not to like?" she charmed. Sherlock's face lit up. "AH! Your a mask!" he said leaning closer with a slight smile. "But who are you really, why the cover personality?" he asked.
The next thing John knew Sherlock was on the ground bleeding with Ella on top of him holding his hair. Ella brought his face up to hers and hissed in his face. "I. Am. Real." she was in tears. She got up and took his scarf from a near bye hook and wrapped it around her neck. She turned and walked past John. "Fix your boyfriend's face like a good boy" she scowled. "Not his boyfriend!" John cried, exasperated. "Not giving a shit!" she yelled from the top of the stairs.
She flung herself on the bed, sobbing the words "I'm the real, I was first, It's not fair!" over and over again until she lost consciousness.
"You messed up Sherlock" John said sternly.
Sherlock folded his hands under his nose. "We're going to need her John, I was making an impression that was necessary. You, however, need to resist the urge to copulate (or try to) with the young woman" he said entering his mind palace, much to John's chagrin, who tried to wake him up but eventually gave up and went to bed.