((A/N: Sooooooo what's up everyone? I know it's been a long while since my last update; I've been out of internet for some time now. But for the moment, I have internet access! So for now, enjoy this next chapter!))

Sirius couldn't help but stare back at Melanie in shock from across the Gryffindor common room.

"What did you do to her face?" he asked in horror. The lovely purple bruise and swelling around Melanie's left eye seemed to have left people in shocked silence, but Sirius had to ask. Artemis looked around and snorted.

"Why do you just assume it was me?" she asked in an affronted tone. Sirius just gave her a piercing look. "What? She deserved it, don't you worry. What do you care anyway?"

Sirius leaned back in his chair and shot his girlfriend a skeptical look. "She deserved it, then? And what did she do to you?"

The stubborn ass just huffed and shook her head. "Never you mind. She just did. Although I did lose my temper a little..." Sirius scowled.

"Do me a favor and stop making enemies?"

"Well, technically, she already was one."

Sirius rolled his eyes at her. "That doesn't mean you should hit her." She stuck her tongue out at him and continued with the essay she was writing on early wizarding wars of the 1500s. Sirius chuckled and went back to his own task: devising the Marauders' next big prank. "Where were the others going again?" he asked, jotting down 'Filch' as he spoke.

"James, Remus, and Lily are out on prefect duties, and Peter said he had to go to the hospital wing for... I dunno, something weird."

"Oh, that's right! I think he found last year's underwear."

Artemis paused and looked up at him, opening her mouth to ask but seeming to decide she'd rather not. Instead she glared at him. "Sirius, can you do me a favor? Shut up so I can focus on this stupid essay!"

Sirius pouted at his list but nodded. "Fine fine. But you owe me snogging later." Artemis waved her hand dismissively, now to the point of ignoring him. Sirius sighed and returned again to his list. "You're boring when you're doing your homework, love." The only sign that she heard him was her sticking her tongue at him again.

-James and Lily were preoccupied, but certainly not by their Head duties. They were supposed to be roving, keeping an eye out for misbehaving students. At the moment, however, they were tucked comfortably in a small nook James had found years ago behind a tapestry on the fourth floor. The spot was obviously used as a cozy spot for couples: there were plush cushions on the ground, and half-used candles currently giving off a dim light.

"We shouldn't be doing this, James," Lily said softly as she sat precariously on one of the plump cushions. "We're supposed to be-"

"Sh, Lily-kins," James interrupted, putting a finger over her lips gently with a soft smile. "It's fine. Here." He pulled a piece of parchment from his robes and tapped it with his wand. Lily watched as lines spread across it, gradually coming together to form a map. James beamed and placed it on the floor next to them. "See. It's a map of Hogwarts. It will show anyone and everyone in Hogwarts. All we have to do is occasionally check to make sure no one is where they shouldn't be."

Lily leaned over the map and was astounded to see that he was right: the map showed where everyone was! Sirius and Artemis were sitting in the common room. Remus was monitoring the Astronomy Tower. Professor McGonagall was in her office, presumably grading the essays they'd turned in that morning. "That's amaz-"

James cut her off again, this time with a tender kiss on the lips. It was only a second, but Lily kind of had to admit she wanted it to last longer. James pulled back and looked at her, his hazel eyes meeting her emerald, looking at her with love like they always did. Lily suddenly felt breathless, looking up at him, her heart beating fast. How was it possibly that he could make her feel this way? Just last year, he'd been the worst, she'd hated him. But now...

Now Lily could almost see a life with him. She could see herself walking down the aisle to meet him, see small children running around and playing in a beautiful backyard, see the two of them sitting side by side in rocking chairs when they were old and decrepit. She wanted to give herself to him, this boy who had tried so hard to win her over, this man who had finally succeeded.

Lily pulled James to her again, their lips meeting once more, though not as softly this time around. There was passion in their kiss, and it kind of scared her but also exhilarated her. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as he stroked her hair and moved down to her lower back. Her body ached with longing. One of his hands found its way beneath her robes, and the feel of his hand on her bare leg made her shiver. His warm fingers traced a pattern on her thigh, and the longing intensified. Lily had never felt this way before. She was letting him go farther and farther, get closer and closer. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore.

"Too fast!" she gasped, pulling away. She realized with a shock that her face was burning, probably scarlet even in the dim light. James instantly stopped, pulling his hands back quickly as if he'd been burned. "S-sorry," she muttered, looking down at the map.

"For what?" James asked, looking at the map himself. Though he probably saw it; Lily definitely didn't. She felt her blush deepen, as if that were possible.

"I... I don't know. I guess... that I stopped you?"

James snorted, then grinned sheepishly at Lily's confused derision. "You don't have to be sorry, flower. Too fast, you said. And you're right. We are moving a bit fast. So... if you want to slow down, just say so, okay?"

Lily stared at him for a minute before nodding. "All right." They sat in silence for a few minutes. Finally, Lily got up the nerve to ask: "Was that... was it just me, or was that pretty intense?"

James looked at her and laughed. "I guess it was! More... fiery than usual, I guess." He paused. "Did you like it?"

She blinked and pretended to think about it for a second. "Yes. I think I did."

James smiled. "Good. 'Cause there's plenty more where that came from." Lily elbowed him. "Sorry." He went silent, instead just cozying up next to Lily and burying his face in her hair. Strawberries.

"Where are Sirius and Artemis going?" Lily asked suddenly; she had just noticed their dots moving from the common room. James surfaced to look, following their path.

"The... Room of Requirement?"

"The what?'

"Oh, er... it's just this magic room. Basically it turns into the room that you most need at that time. A place to hide things. Or a place to hide, period. Or perhaps... a broom cupboard?"

Lily elbowed him again. "Please! We're closer to that than those two." James chuckled and shrugged, watching the two dots disappear from the map. After a minute, the two decided that it wasn't something to be concerned about and went back to something they both agreed was fun: kissing.

-I sighed and leaned back against shower wall, letting the water wash away the sweat that I'd worked up in the Room of Requirement. Sirius and I had gone to work out (yoga, this time, during which Sirius complained nonstop), and had finished with a make out session that ended in the same old argument when I wouldn't let him feel me up. In the end, he had stomped off angrily, leaving me huffing in the Room by myself.

Feeling guilty. Feeling angry. Feeling lonely. And desperately needing a shower.

So I decided to fix the only one I could. As quickly as I possibly could (I was out after curfew), I was back in Gryffindor tower, back in my dormitory, and in the shower.

With my thoughts, unfortunately. Was I really being a prude? Maybe Sirius had a point. Normal girls, girls like Melanie, they probably would have slept with him already... and yet I was holding him back. I wouldn't even let him touch me: not the breasts, and certainly not there, not that place that burned for want of him. And how could I? There was so much fear in me, so afraid that things might change and escalate out of control at the slightest change.

Was Sirius right then? Did I need to just grow up? Was it time to take the next step?

And that was when it hit me: yes. Yes, it was.

The next day, I spent all day trying to decide how to tell him I was ready. Not to go all the way, just to take the next step. Would he be happy? Or wouldn't he still want the whole thing? Probably the second, but maybe... would he settle for taking it slow?

Sirius was still pouting when we got to Charms class and took our usual seats in the back corner of the classroom. He ignored me as I sat down next to him and started immediately on his classwork. At his coldness, I felt the nerves, finally.

"S-Sirius?" I stuttered. He glared around at me, but didn't respond. I sighed and continued. "I'm sorry. Again. For being... prudish."

His annoyed look turned to one of confusion and suspicion. "You... are?"

"Well... yes. I thought about what you said while I was in the shower and-"

"Miss Gaunt!" I jumped; I hadn't noticed the Professor approaching.

"Er, yes, Professor?"

"Why don't you show me how you've improved! You must have nearly mastered the spell by now."

I grinned in embarrassment. "Er... not exactly..."

Sirius snorted, but Professor Flitwick smiled on expectantly. With an enormous sigh, I took out my new wand and scowled at the suit of armor the short professor expected me to move. "Animus!" To no one's surprise, the armor didn't move. Flitwick and I sighed at the same time. "Sorry, Professor... I really am trying..."

"Of course, Miss Gaunt. I know. You just need a bit more practice, I think. How about... remedial lessons, starting next Monday in here with me."

I hung my head and nodded sadly. "I suppose that's for the best..." Professor Flitwick smiled at my dismal attitude and wandered off to watch James and Lily, leaving me to mope and Sirius to chortle a little bit.

After a minute, Sirius remembered that I had been in the middle of a sentence. "So, what were you saying then? Something about me being right?"

I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I said, but I should have expected that to be the conclusion you came to." Sirius just smirked at me, so I ignored him and continued what I'd been about to say. "Well... I was just thinking about it, and I guess I realized... maybe I am ready. Not to... you know! Just for whatever comes next. Stop looking at me like that, you dolt!" I resisted the urge to smack him upside the shaggy head and tried to cast the spell again. And failed. Stupid Charms.

Sirius made a valiant attempt to wipe the smug grin of his face; at least, I assumed he did, because the look didn't go away. If anything, it intensified. "So what are we talking here? Like, everywhere? Just breasts? Ass?"

I scowled at him. "Well, I suppose anywhere is fine... Though I should mention I don't plan on taking off my clothes."

"Oh, silly Artemis. You don't have to. I will!" He snorted at my look of indignation. "Kidding, kidding. Don't get your knickers in a twist!"

"You know, you always know just what to say to make things worse for yourself. It's an impressive talent."

I was saved his snide comeback as the bell rang for the end of class. Together with Lily and James we all headed down to lunch together. Lily was saying something about how nice it was of Professor Flitwick to give me extra lessons; I would need them if I expected to pass the N.E.W.T. at year's end (I didn't expect to pass... but I wasn't going to let Lily know that).

I glanced at Sirius out of the corner of my eye and smiled to realize he was staring at me as we all sat in the middle of the table. Remus and Peter joined us a moment later.

I dished myself some potato casserole as Lily and James started talking about their plans for the weekend. "What are we going to do?" I asked Sirius, tuning the lovebirds out. Sirius looked thoughtful, but only for a second.

"Well, I know what I want to do..." He smirked at looked at me with a look that made what he wanted to do quite obvious. I stuck my tongue out at him.

Remus glanced once at us and chuckled.

"You two should get a broom cupboard," he stated with a knowing smile. I nearly choked on the bite of casserole I had just put in my mouth. "The way you're looking at each other isn't really appropriate for the lunch table."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh shut it, Remus." I pointed my fork at him. "Anyways, I'm not the problem here; he is." And I took another bite. Remus laughed as Sirius sighed and shook his head.

"She's in denial," Sirius said matter-of-factly. I punched him in the arm, but he just continued to smirk smugly. "Just refuses to admit that she wants-"

"Sirius!" A very unwelcome voice saved me from whatever ridiculous thing was about to come out of his mouth. Unfortunately, I would rather have heard him say whatever he had been about to say than see Melanie striding towards us with a haughty expression. "Sirius!"

Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes, his smugness turning to a look of frustration. "What?"

"Well," Melanie started slowly, looking between Sirius and I with a pout, "I was kind of hoping we could talk alone..."

"I'm busy," Sirius said bluntly, gesturing towards his food and turning back to me.

"But... It's about that," she said, looking pointedly at me with a razor sharp look. My stomach sank; I had a feeling I knew what she was trying to do. Sirius did me the favor of glaring at her for me.

"Well, if it's about that, then you can say what you have to say in front of it," he informed her, folding his arms across his chest stubbornly. I snorted and hit him upside the head.

"Well thank you, dear," I said sarcastically. " I really enjoy the way you refer to me as a neutral pronoun." He just shrugged.

At this point, Melanie was grumbling to herself, furious, glaring at me with deepest loathing. Finally, she inhaled deeply, puffing up her cheeks a little and somehow making that look determined. "Sirius, there are some things you don't know about your-" she paused and looked at me with distaste, scrunching up her nose-"girlfriend." By now, she had the attention of students in the immediate vicinity, and it occurred to me that maybe Sirius should have taken her up on the private conversation. This was going to end badly, whether it was for me or for her.

"Is that so?" Sirius chuckled, rolling his eyes again.

"Yes!" she snapped as the other Marauders starting laughing with him. "As you well know, she's related to Slytherin; you're the one who told me, so of course you know that!" The radius of attention was growing. At least half of the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor tables were paying attention now. Mira and Olivia had arrived to back Melanie up, looking only slightly sheepish as they met my eyes. They flanked her like small, skinny bodyguards. Not very intimidating. "But I bet you don't know..." a pause for dramatic effect... "She's also related to You-Know-Who!" There were gasps, including one from Lily. I looked at her questioningly.

"So low..." she muttered angrily under her breath, and I could see her wand hand had tensed.

Sirius, however, drew me closer and laughed. "As a matter of fact, I did know that. Not only can you figure that out if you have a brain and know she's a Slytherin; we also have this little thing called trust and honesty. It's quite refreshing, actually."

I beamed at him and he kissed me softly. If this was all that Melanie had on me, there wasn't a thing in the world she could do to convince Sirius to break up with me. We'd make it!

Melanie looked as if she'd seen a ghost, a very scary one anyways. She blushed and her look of hatred increased tenfold. "She's-She's a parseltongue! She can talk to snakes, for Merlin's sake!" It seemed as though the entire Great Hall was listening in now. Professor McGonagall had gotten up from her seat at the teachers' table and was heading this way, presumably to see what the real problem was. "Sh-She pushed her brother down the stairs when they were little! She was trying to kill him!"

My smile faltered and I looked at Lily questioningly. How could she possibly have known that? I was almost one hundred percent positive that Lily was the only one I had ever told that; Lily was giving me about the same look. Sirius was looking a bit disgruntled now, but it seemed to be more directed at Melanie than at me.

"Well, I don't blame her. He is kind of an asshole. And like you said, they were little; she probably didn't know any better. Now if you don't mind-"

"She's bloody crazy, Sirius! You have to know! She cuts herself!"

My smile completely dropped, and so did my friends. For a split second, they all just stared at me while I gaped at Melanie. Then Sirius pulled me protectively to him.

"Yes, well, everyone has problems; you're a jealous cunt."

Melanie's hurt look was hard to miss, though it was quickly masked by fury. Things were obviously getting out of hand; McGonagall was almost there, and I just prayed to any God that could hear me that this whole scene would come to an end quick.

"She stuffs her bra! That's why she won't let you touch her! And she's shagged all the Slytherins!" Melanie was clearly running out of arguments; maybe McGonagall wasn't actually needed, I thought with relief. Had her previous statement about my cutting not been almost true, what she was left with would have been hilarious. Sirius even managed a laugh. "She's only dating you because I told her to!"

Absolute silence replaced the scattered chuckles and hushed conversations. It felt like every singled pair of eyes in the Great Hall turned from Melanie to me. I felt the blood drain from my face as I gaped at her; my eyes widened and my jaw clenched shut and I just stared. How could she use that? How could she use that against me? She blackmailed me! And surely, the end justifies the means, right! Yes, the initial idea came from her forcing me to agree to her bullshit plan, but by the time we'd actually started dating the feelings had been real. Regardless of whether either of us had wanted to admit it. I had been falling in love with him all year, even before she had threatened me. So how could she use that?

"Is that true?" Sirius whisper, smaller and softer than I'd ever heard him speak before, cut through my emotions and thoughts like a knife through melted butter. Eyes that had looked at me with admiration and happiness not ten minutes before stared with confusion and pain now, just waiting for an answer they seemed to know they weren't going to get. "Well?"

I swallowed nervously, the weight of everyone's attention on my shoulders, everyone silently awaiting my answer. Even McGonagall had stopped. "I-I mean... Sirius, it's not like-she's just-" I stuttered, feeling my eyes start to tear and blinking quickly to stop the tears from forming.

"Answer the question, Artemis," Sirius growled, removing his protective arm from around me and half standing up. Even that was enough to make me feel small, like he was going to crush me if he didn't like what I said. Melanie seemed to realize that she'd won.

"Yeah, Artemis, answer the question!" she mocked with an evil smile. "See, Sirius! She doesn't love you. She never did. She was just using you, playing with your emotions!"

"N-no! That's not-"

"Shut up, Melanie!" Sirius snapped. "Artemis, answer the damn question: Did you only start dating me because Melanie told you to?"

The tears were getting harder and harder to hold back; I told myself sternly that no matter how this ended, I was not going to let the entirety of Hogwarts see me cry. "That might have been... might have been the original idea, yes, but-"

But Sirius had had enough; he clearly had no intention of letting me try to explain.

"We're done," he interrupted, pushing himself the rest of the way up and away from the table. With a glare that made me feel like part of me died, he hissed, "I don't ever want you to speak to me again." And then he stalked out of the Great Hall with his head held high, leaving me feeling very cold and very empty. Sorrow was threatening to overwhelm me, the tears now very close to falling as Remus, James, and Peter tore after him, shooting me confused looks, as if they were just seeing the real me and weren't sure what to make of it. Lily didn't seem to know whether she should comfort me or scold me, but with one look between the two of us, she seemed to decide. She reached over the table and took my hand comfortingly in one of hers, a string of words that I couldn't understand coming out of her mouth.

Sirius hadn't even let me explain, I thought dully, feeling the empty and shock start to wear off and the anger start to replace it. He'd asked his question, but he'd only heard half my answer. The knowledge that only minutes ago we had been talking about broom cupboards seemed like a precious dream, one that had quickly turned into a nightmare when Melanie entered.

Melanie. The very thought of her was enough to fill me with fury. The smug look on her face just made it worse. This was all her fault! This had all happened because of her! It had been her plan to begin with! She hadn't been able to get her happy ending with Sirius, not the way she'd pictured it. So she'd had to ruin it for me too. She'd realized that I was happy being with Sirius, and she'd reasoned (like most girls do) that if she couldn't have Sirius, no one could. This was all Melanie's fault.

The anger was building, filling every particle of my being, and common sense was being engulfed by the ire. Lily's mouth was still moving at me, her look one of fear, but that only made it worse. I could hear Voldemort laughing through our unwanted connection, and he was feeding me his own hatred and anger. As if my own weren't enough.

Screams erupted around me, and for a full minute I couldn't understand why. My mind felt so narrowed and focused, my vision was red. So I didn't really notice the hands that were trying to pull me off of the violet blob that was actually Melanie's slowly darkening face. I couldn't tell that the hands grasping her neck were my own. I didn't get why I was suddenly kneeling on the ground over her when only seconds ago I was sitting at Gryffindor table with tears threatening to pour down.

"THAT IS ENOUGH!" I heard McGonagall shout, and I presume her hands joined those that were desperately attempting to remove me from Melanie. Suddenly, my fingers relaxed their grip; I was pulled back roughly as Melanie gasped for air, coughing and clutching her own neck. "Someone get Miss Jordan to the Hospital Wing! Madame Pomfrey!" The nurse tittered as she approached, silently taking Melanie by the arm and guiding her away. "As for you, Miss Gaunt, what you've done is... well, utterly repulsive! I would have expected better from you!" She cast a glance towards the teachers table, then nodded and started to lead me out of the Hall in the same manner as Melanie, albeit her grip was much tighter. As if there were a point in running. The teacher continued to lecture me, but I didn't really pay much attention to it. The rage was still tuning it all out. Still too irate to listen to her yell at me as she dragged me through corridors and up staircases. I kept seeing Sirius' face when he'd told me it was over: so shocked and hurt. I kept seeing Melanie's smug triumph. And I couldn't make the pain and the anger go away. Voldemort may still have been feeding it to me, but I knew most of it was mine.

I knew without being told that I had probably just gotten myself expelled. I'd made myself a pretty big mess, the biggest one so far. Sirius would most likely hate me for the rest of our lives, along with the rest of the Marauders. Lily would be humiliated because she was friends with a psychotic nutter who had tried to kill a fellow student; that is, if she actually chose to remain friends with me. I'd be sent back out into the world, alone, with no where to go. And it probably wouldn't take long for Voldemort to find me and kill me. I could see it all now; I'd end up alone, working some dead end job no one else would take and being hated by everyone. Maybe that was just Fate.

McGonagall seemed to be finishing up her tirade, her nostrils flaring and her mouth in the straightest line I'd ever seen. I was rather surprised to find that my eyes were completely dry, that we were standing in front of a gargoyle statue, and that Lily, James, and Remus had followed us. All three were looking extremely grim.

"Butterscotch toffee," Professor McGonagall told the gargoyle, and it leapt out of the way, revealing a hidden staircase that spiraled up and out of view. She led the way up, with me following slowly. Stopping at the door and looking back at the other three, she shook her head. "Miss Gaunt will wait for the Headmaster by herself. I don't know why you three followed to begin with." Lily opened her mouth, but whether she was going to answer the unasked question or argue was unsure. As it was, McGonagall shook her head again. "No, Miss Evans. We will wait out here. Professor Dumbledore will call when he's done with her." With not another word, she opened the door, shooed me inside, and shut it behind me.

For a moment or two, I stood at the door and stared at the wood. Waiting for Dumbledore to call me to sit. Waiting for him to yell or give me that grim, sad stare. To tell me that I'd fucked up. When the moments passed in silence, I turned slowly around.

The room was empty, with the exception of a beautiful red phoenix perched on his stand. I looked slowly around, too distracted by my anger and fear to be able to focus on the shining instruments on the tables to the sides, the portraits of past Headmasters and Headmistresses staring down at me, the view from the only window. Instead of feeling calming, these things all just seemed to be feeding my mood. With a huff, I stalked to the chair across the desk from the one that was clearly Dumbledore's and sat myself in it unceremoniously to wait.

It felt like an eternity before I heard his voice behind me. "I see you're still fuming." I didn't respond, continuing to glower viciously at the closest leg of his desk. "You may be happy to know that Ms. Jordan is perfectly fine; Madame Pomfrey fixed her up quite well, and she seems less angry about the situation than one might expect. She even insisted that she didn't want to press charges for assaulting her. She almost seems... happy." I snorted but didn't look up as Dumbledore brushed passed my chair to sit in his own. I could feel him waiting for me to respond. But I didn't know what he wanted from me: to explain why I'd lost control of myself and wound up choking out Melanie? To tell him all about how my life was crashing down around my ears? To say I was sorry, beg him not to expel me? I didn't particularly feel like doing any of those things. So instead I continued to scowl at the desk leg. The phoenix called sadly from his stand. "Artemis." Dumbledore's voice was so soft and filled with a sadness and pity that I couldn't help but look up at him now. His eyes twinkled behind his glasses. "Please, Artemis. I need you to help me help you. You've lost so much recently... and you're being strong because you don't want anyone else to see how hurt you are. And how hard it all is. But there are people around you who want nothing more than for you to be safe and happy again. Miss Evans, Mr. Potter... Mr Black."

I cringed at that and looked back down, my face flushing as I remembered why I was here in the first place. The anger and fear returned, along with the smallest bit of shame and sadness. I folded my arms across my chest tightly, as if that would keep me together somehow. Dumbledore seemed to notice my reaction; even he know how badly I'd fucked up. He sat back in his chair and looked at me thoughtfully.

"Under normal circumstances, such violence would not be tolerated and would certainly be grounds for expulsion. But... in light of recent events, I think it is perfectly understandable that you might need to, ah, take out some anger on something else." I stared back up at him in disbelief; he leaned forward and frowned at me again, as if he didn't notice my look. I wasn't going to be expelled? "Keep in mind, Miss Gaunt: this is your last straw. There are many teachers in this school who will disagree with my decision so vehemently that one toe out of line will be enough. Anything else, any rule breaking whatsoever, and I'll be forced to expel you." He leaned back into his chair again, seeming to look past me as he thought. "Now... the issue of a punishment. Detention, obviously, but that may not be enough. You did attack Miss Jordan, after all. Hmmm, well, how about detention once a week until you graduate. Suspension, I think, may be in order. Yes, that will be best, I think. Perhaps a good week or two. And of course you two will have to be separated. We'll have to move you out of Gryffindor Tower."

"Sir," I interrupted, and Dumbledore looked at me as if he were surprised that I could speak. "Sir, are you serious? I'm not... not expelled?"

"Well, Miss Jordan has kindly agree not to press charges, though personally I think that you may have Miss Evans and Mr. Lupin to thank for that. So long as it will never happen again, I see no problem allowing you to remain here."

I gaped at the man for a minute and then nodded. "It won't happen again, Professor."

Dumbledore nodded and smiled. "I should hope not. So, your punishment, then, is: detention once a week until you leave this school; a two week suspension during which I or one of your teachers will assign you a different task; and counseling with one of the staff once a week as well."

"Counseling?" I interrupted again. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows at me over his knitted fingers, so I quickly shut my mouth and slumped a little in my chair.

"Counseling. Every week. I'm sure it will do you some good. I will have Professor McGonagall keep you informed of places and times. Is there anything else?"

I stared at the wizard again for a minute before I slowly shook my head. Dumbledore... was weird, but definitely cool. How the hell had I just escaped expulsion.

"Excellent. Professors McGonagall and Sprout should be fixing up your new quarters now. If you would wait outside with Miss Evans. And be a dear, send Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin in?"

I nodded and stood up, taking one last look at Dumbledore and realizing that, at that moment, there was no one I respected more.

-The new room was more like a small suite of rooms. Two full size beds with the same red canopies, a vanity to share, and a small connected bathroom with two showers and a small bath. There was a small sitting room, too, with a window looking out onto the grounds. A love seat that would seat two and a pair of cushy chairs next to a table. True to Dumbledore's word, it was not in Gryffindor Tower, though it wasn't far. I was also banned from the Gryffindor common room until further notice from McGonagall. Something that was probably for the best. I didn't want to see any of them anyways.

I gave my trunk one last shove to get it to the end of my bed. With a sigh, I turned and watched James drag Lily's trunk in after me. He seemed to be ignoring me, but I supposed that should have been expected. Lily's red head followed him in through the door.

Lily had fought valiantly to move here with me, insisting that if Melanie's accusation of cutting was true I shouldn't be left alone in my removed room. Dumbledore and McGonagall apparently found this a valid reason, so here we were. Lily's real reason, she told me while we were waiting for McGonagall and Sprout to finish up the room, was slightly more selfish (but comforting all the same): she didn't think that she could bear to be holed up in our old room with Melanie, Olivia, and Mira, especially after the day's nightmare.

James finished pushing Lily's trunk into place, gave her a kiss and passed McGonagall on the way out. I thought about asking her how she and Sprout had made up this room, or if it had already been here. But her mouth was still very straight and thin, and I had a feeling that any noise out of me would add to my detentions, so I kept silent. Lily looked around the bedroom with a pleased expression, then turned to look at McGonagall, who was explaining the rules with a very bitter tone.

"Miss Evans, you are free to come and go as you please, of course. Miss Gaunt, for the duration of your suspension, you will be secluded to this room unless you are given a duty to preform. In that case, you will be retrieved by a teacher. Miss Evans or Mr. Potter will be escorting you to and from meals, or if she cannot your meal will be brought to you. Once your suspension ends, you will be allowed to go as you please; however, Gryffindor Tower will still be off limits. You are not to speak to Miss Jordan. If she speaks to you, inform a teacher or a prefect and we will handle it. Do you have any questions, Miss Gaunt?" I hesitated, but asked anyways.

"What about Quidditch, Professor?"

Her scowl deepened, if possible. "Mr. Potter will decide if you will remain on the team or not as team captain. If you do, he will escort you to and from practice. If not... well, you will remain here."

I nodded solemnly, and told her I had no more questions. She left without another word, her mouth still in that straight line.

And then it was just me and Lily. And that anger that still dwelled within me, just waiting for the bait to let it go.

Lily was going to want to question me. There was no doubt in my mind; she would probably ask why I'd let Melanie say things like that to me, why I would let her force me into a relationship, if everything she had said were true. This was Lily, curious and just. And what I said would probably decide the future of our friendship.

Lily's mouth opened, and I realized I wasn't ready for the questioning. Fear flowed through me, terror that I was going to answer wrong and lose the one that was now, quite possibly, my only friend. Her green eyes were bright as they looked at me, watched me closely. Her mouth shut and then opened again.

"Perhaps we ought to just get some rest? It's been a long day. Maybe a nice shower too."

I gaped at her and she stared back for a minute before gasping and clapping her hands.

"Ice cream! And hot chocolate!" she said randomly. She hesitated and then shrugged. "Or alcohol! Or... I dunno, a book!"

"What about the rest of your classes?" I interjected, if only so that I could catch up with her. Were those... comfort foods? She snorted and waved me off, as if classes were of no importance to Lily Evans.

"One day won't hurt. So? Ice cream? Chocolate ice cream! How about this: you go take a nice hot bath, and I'll be back in a bit with some food. All right?" Without waiting for my answer, she turned me around and started pushing me towards the bathroom door. "Don't leave, all right, Ar?"

"I didn't plan on it," I mumbled, realizing that a bath might do me good. Especially one with bubbles. Lily nodded, as if she knew just what I was thinking.

"All right. I'll be back soon."

The bathroom door closed softly behind me. And then I was alone with just my anger.

My gaze drifted across the room: the porcelain sink, the tub laid into the floor and the shower stall next to it with its scarlet curtain, the torches on the wall. I settled on the silvered mirror directly across from the door. And I looked awful, like I had just gotten out of a fight. My eyes were red, even though I'd yet to shed any tears. My black hair was disheveled, like someone had been tugging at it, trying to pull it out, though I'd yet to do that either. My skin was paler than normal. I looked exhausted. And beneath it all, that anger raged. Mine. And Voldemort's. It was visible, almost an aura around me, trying to break through my icy eyes. It scared me.

I forced myself to take a deep breath and move to the tub, turning a couple of the spigots until I found the warm water and one with big purple bubbles that smelled like lavender. While the tub filled, I scowled at my reflection. Thinking. Fuming. Finally, I lowered myself into the warm water. Outside, I heard voices; Lily's and James'. With a sigh, I sank deeper into the water.

They were angry. The voices weren't the hushed tones of two people having a happy couple conversation. They were arguing. And probably about me. Just another thing to add to the guilt that just kept racking up. I was hurting everybody today. Everyone would probably be better off without me, I thought sadly. Sirius. Lily, James. Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall wouldn't have to go to so much trouble to deal with me and all my issues.

The water was covering my mouth now, I was tilting my head backwards so that it was covering my ears too. I closed my eyes.

Professor Flitwick wouldn't have to give up time for my extra lessons, I thought dully. My parents might still be alive. And maybe Melanie wouldn't have had to destroy lives to get what she wanted.

A door slammed and for a minute there was silence.

I slipped under the water.

-James slammed the door shut behind him and stalked through the small lounge with only the slightest bit of regret. He was too angry, much too upset to handle this right now.

How could he be expected to cope with this? Artemis... she'd really fucked up. James knew that she was good at heart. He knew she tried hard to do what she knew was right, tried to rein in that awful temper of hers. She was stubborn and independent.

But had she really pretended to love Sirius this whole time? It had seemed so obvious to James; if she'd been pretending, she was an extremely good actress. But then, whoever knew with girls, especially unpredictable one's like Artemis and Lily. James thought he knew them, but really, how much did he really know?

It was too much to ask. His best friend's girlfriend? Or his girlfriend's best friend? How was he supposed to choose sides? And as to the issue that had brought up the topic with Lily and led to him storming out of the girls' room: How could he be expected to let her keep playing Quidditch? Even if he allowed it, there was no doubt in his mind that Sirius wouldn't play along. Everything that had put the two together was going to become a living nightmare from now on. Even the fact that they would probably lose the Cup because of this wasn't going to be enough to convince Sirius to cooperate. Of course, pointing this out to Lily in the way he did, with that loud and angry tone as if it were her fault, didn't help the situation either.

And now, to top it all off, Lily was mad at him. She'd kicked him out, even as he'd slammed the door.

How was he supposed to do this?