Chapter 12: Mushrooms
Note: "Kirby: This is gonna be a weird a$$ story. We did drugs, (b-word). Believe it or not, it did happened back in the day. It's longer than usual. If you guys don't believe me, then here is the tape from April 2001."
Rated T for some language, violence and drug usage
The Smashers are at Peach's castle.
"Mario, why are we here again?" asked Donkey Kong.
"Because, DK, Peach asked me to take care of the castle and I said yes," said Mario. "She want it safe and sound."
"What does that means?" asked Kirby.
"You know, without any harm."
Everyone else oohs in interest.
"Where is she, Mario?" asked Luigi.
"Peach is doing busy errands for her butler-like guys," Mario answers.
"Well, she's hardly busy," said Luigi.
"Anyway, folks, let's get to it. We got a castle to save before something villainy shows up," Mario commends.
"You mean to watch?" Luigi try to correct him. Mario thumbs up.
All of the Smashers did what Mario told them: water the plant, check on the Toads, etc.
"All done Mario," said Link. "What else is there to do?"
"Well, the next thing: we gotta search for something rare," said Mario. "Peach said she couldn't find them."
"I just hope that rare item is some treasure," said CFalcon. "I'd love that."
They searched for hours until Kirby found it.
"Look, everyone, I found it," he said.
"Ooh, what's that?" asked Ness.
"Ness, that is a mushroom. It is important in our world," replied Luigi.
"Wonder why it's doing there."
"Probably because Peach was too lazy to notice it."
"Well, we should be heading back to the castle now," said Mario.
However, then Luigi actually discovers that the mushroom is a drugs.
"AAh! Everyone! Don't touch it! That mushroom's really a drug!" screamed Luigi.
"Settle down Luigi," said Link. "It's just a mushroom."
"No, you guys gotta believe me! I can tell by its mean face," said Luigi.
He gave the mushroom to Mario and it already poisoned him thus making him under the influence.
"Nooo!" Luigi fainted.
"What the hell is this?" asked Link.
"That is no ordinary mushroom, it's poison!" Donkey Kong pointed out.
All of them panicked that Mario is using drugs.
"Come and have drugs, beez!" Mario said, stoned.
The frightened Smashers went inside the castle.
"Alright, let's just stay calm and keep Mario from entering the place," said Yoshi.
"Let's just make sure there aren't any other poisonous mushrooms here," said Fox.
They check for the mushroom and bad news: it's there! Toads are mushrooms and they poisoned.
"AAAAH! IT's A NIGHTMARE! THEY"RE EVERYWHERE!" Ness freaked out.
Kirby then slapped Ness.
"GET A GRIP NESS! IF WE KEEP PANICKING, THEY'RE GONNA TURN US INTO STONERS TOO!"
"Yelling's not gonna help. Remember what I said," Yoshi advised.
Ness and Kirby calmed down.
"Alright, we just need a cure for Mario to stop being on drugs," said Link. "And how are we gonna do that?"
"I got a clever idea," said Captain Falcon.
*Next scene*
At the kitchen.
"Are you sure this gonna work?" asked Ness.
"Trust me, if we stay cool, then no more poisonous and mushrooms under the influence hunting for us."
CFalcon set up the trap. However, Ness' panicking cause him more stress to the point that he fail succeeding the plan.
"What?" asked Ness.
"Nice going, crap head. Because of your crappy phobia, you made the fail the fudging plan!" exclaimed Falcon.
He and Ness begin to argue.
"Alright, you two, knock it off! We got a problem to solve," said Yoshi.
"What's our next plan?" asked Link.
"well, this next plan, by me, is going to be water. I'm curing them by water and I'm expecting to keep my fingers crossed."
"Good luck," scoffed Ness.
"Oh, shut up," said Yoshi as he works on his plan.
It's didn't work after all. Plus, the Toads already put Luigi stoned like his brother.
"OH NO! LUIGI IS STONED TOO!" Ness wailed like a baby.
"Oh my God Ness!" groaned Link, while face palming.
"Pika pika (shut up, dang it!)" Pikachu is annoyed by Ness' childish nonsense.
"Ness, calm down. There's have to be an explanation of how they turn him into a stoner." said Yoshi.
"By sucking the blood," said Donkey Kong.
Ness just fainted. Link groans again.
"That kid never grows up," said CFalcon.
"Well, let's stay on track, folks. We got the bros to save before it spread all over the castle," said Yoshi.
"I know a solution," said Kirby.
*Quick translation* to Kirby getting a hammer. He angrily attacked Mario and Luigi with the hammer.
"Snap out of it, you two!"
"Kirby, man, that is not gonna work. Violence isn't the answer," said Link.
Kirby grunted in annoyance and simply gave up.
"At least no other Smashers had gotten affected by this. right?" Yoshi said, but already saw DKong and Fox already stoned by the mushroom.
"OK, that poisonous mushroom is gonna affect us. What the hell are we do gonna do?" asked CFalcon.
"I know a cure for anything drug related: a normal mushroom," Yoshi just suggested.
"My, Yoshi, that's a genius idea" said Kirby. "Let's go get a normal mushroom...you meant the one where Mario grows bigger? (Yoshi nods)"
They decided to find the mushroom albeit Falcon and Ness are sadly affected by the drug. Now there's half of the Smashers with pink stoned eyes.
So they search it asap before more are pink eyed. Success.
"Ta-da! We got the solution so fast!" said Samus.
"Crud, I almost forgot. We also have to cure the Toads too," said Yoshi.
"Are you kidding me?! Those pieces of crap are also stoned?" asked Kirby.
"Kirby, sorry, but sadly most of them are."
"Alright fine, but let's just hurry this up already. We're gonna be screwed if this problem doesn't solve."
Cut to a montage that is most likely to be animate quickly if there was a flash (even though I am not a good animator).
It was basically the non-stoned Smashers finding to solve this at last and they did. They couldn't put up with this nightmare anymore.
"FINALLY!" said an exhausted CFalcon. "We got you guys back to normal!"
"Now let's go home," said Samus.
"But, wait, what shall we do with that drug related mushroom?" asked Mario.
"I got an awesome idea: let's destroy it!" suggested Luigi.
"Great idea man," Link praised.
They all pick up a random gun and shot the whatever that drug mushroom is called and it is finally gone.
"No more of that nightmare," said Mario. "I hated being a stoner."
"Yeah and we stink," said Donkey Kong.
"Let's go back home to take a shower," said Ness.
"This stinks," said Fox in a literal tone.
Everyone laughed and felt sympathetic towards Fox.
Kirby: Did I told ya guys?
Master Hand: Weirdest story instead Kirby. I wasn't even in it.
Mario: And this is why most of us don't do drugs.
End of story