((A/N: Yeah... I know...))

Sirius sat in his usual armchair in the common room, staring across the room at his ex-girlfriend as he had for the past week. She was now allowed back in the common room, but it was a moot thing, since she sat alone or else with Lily regardless. And in the few days since McGonagall had acquiesced, she hadn't once looked in Sirius' direction. His hopes were gradually dwindling.

She was never going to forgive him.

What he really wanted was to march over there and give her a piece of his mind. Take her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her: he loved her, they'd both made mistakes, they could move on from this if they just sat down and talked and forgave each other. Beg her pathetically to take him back, please. Just give him another chance.

But she was right. He hadn't even given her a chance to explain when Mel had first broken them up. Did he really deserve one now? But...

What if she really didn't forgive him? Could he handle that? She was probably the best thing that had ever happened to him, even though he hadn't noticed it before. What was the saying? "You don't know what you have until it's gone." And it was so true. Without her, life just seemed... duller, somehow. He knew it was overdramatic, but he almost wanted to say that he couldn't imagine living out the rest of his life without her. If she didn't forgive him, if they never got over this whole mess... well, Sirius just couldn't see what he would do after.

Probably become a hermit, or a recluse, hiding in some mountains and trying to forget all this regret.

"SIRIUS!"

Sirius jumped as he surfaced from this depressing trance; it took him a second to realize that James was barely half an inch from his ear, one hand gripping his arm. And even then, it took him another few seconds to realize that his fellow Marauders had been talking to him.

"Er, what?" Peter and Remus both gave him pitying looks, glancing towards Artemis not at all inconspicuously. But James just sighed and returned to his chair.

"We were discussing possible marauder-ing for Moony's time of month."

"She's only in here to spite you," Remus pointed out, inciting a vicious glare from James. "She knows you're watching her; she wants you to."

"Since when did you become an expert on girls, Moony," James argued, folding his arms stubbornly. He sighed again and glanced at the girl in question too. "Look, Padfoot, you need to just... You need to just give her some time. That's what we told her to do when everything happened before. And you came around, just like we said you would. Unfortunately, you did it in a very stupid, childish way. And she's a lot more hurt by this than she wants to admit. Bloody furious, you can hear it in her voice and see it in her eyes. But she'll figure it out; she wanted to be with you before, and she still does."

Now that all four Marauders were staring at the girl across the room, she seemed to detect the gazes. With a farewell to Lily, she gathered her things and left the common room; she didn't even look their way. Lily also gathered up her things, but instead of leaving, she came across the room to join them. Depositing a couple of heavy books with complicated titles on their table, she sat lightly in the chair next to James.

"This is getting unbearable." James nodded, and Sirius sighed and looked at the essay he was supposed to have been writing when conversation of night time escapades had distracted the four. And then he'd completely zoned out. "There's got to be a way to fix this," Lily demanded, ignoring the obvious lack of enthusiasm at the boys table. "I mean, her feelings haven't changed. She still loves you, she just doesn't know how to get around your guys' vindictive tempers."

"Maybe if we just lock the two of them in a room together, they can work it out," Peter suggested from his side of the table, while craning to compare his homework to Remus'.

Sirius and James looked at the mousy boy in horror, even more so when Lily smiled in agreement.

"No!" Sirius shook his head emphatically. "No."

"Well, that will solve their issue one way or another," Remus admitted, pushing his paper towards Peter somehow without Lily noticing. "Either they'll work out their problem, or one of them will kill the other."

Lily's face fell, realizing that Remus was correct. "True. Ar would destroy Sirius... and then she'd get kicked out of school. Maybe we could lock ourselves in there too: as referees."

Sirius sighed, drowning out their debate as James pointed out another flaw in the plan. He wished there was a way that they could just forget about the whole Melanie issue: from her blackmailing to his fuck up (literally). He wanted to go back to before that fateful day. Back to when they were all pretty happy, and the only things that worried them were N.E.W.T.s and what they were all going to do after school. But that was impossible. He'd need a Time-turner. And even then, there was no guarantee that he'd be able to fix everything by going back in time to stop the chain of events from unfolding. After all, without Melanie blackmailing Artemis, there was a possibility that she never would have been willing to give him a chance in the first place. And if she did, and he'd never lost her, maybe he wouldn't have realized how much she meant to him.

He had to fix this. But how... How?

~~"Your constant anger and depression is really... aggravating," Apollo mumbled, casting a sidelong frown in my direction. His face was partially blocked by the purple frill of the pillow his head rested on, but I could see the worry in his ice blue eyes. I grimaced and looked back up at the vaulted stone ceiling, half wishing I could just sink into the cushy bed and disappear forever. Or at least for a few hours. A swirling black cloud of negativity rested in the back of my head, not helping my own emotions in the least. At least Voldemort was enjoying my turmoil. Sighing at my lack of response, my brother punched me lightly in the ribs. "How long are you going to mope? You know this can't be resolved that way."

I groaned and rolled over onto my stomach, almost to the edge of the bed we were laying on. I thanked the Room of Requirement silently for making the bed large enough. Though how a "place to talk" included a bed, I still wasn't sure.

At least it was comfy.

"Merlin, you sound just like Lily," I grumbled, my voice muffled by the blankets.

He mimicked my action, ending up almost on top of me; I could hear his scowl. His arm draped over my shoulder and his head bumped into mine. "Look," he started, his irritation at my previous comment clear in my ear, "I'm not saying you should forgive him. What he did was stupid. Really stupid. And I would go hex him myself, except for some reason you've asked me not to. I'm just saying that you can't walk around holding on to all this anger and shit you've got going on. I'm getting tired of feeling it. And I can't even feel all of it."

I sighed dejectedly, which didn't seem to be the answer he wanted. The next second, his hand, the one that had just been resting on my shoulder, was tangled in my hair and my head was pulled roughly around, forcing me to look at him. Our identical eyes were barely an inch apart. "Artemis. You're my sister, and I love you, and I want you to be happy. Which doesn't usually include you walking around in a depressed trance or looking like you'd rather be drowning in the lake. I can't help you fix this. You and Black made this mess, you two have to clean it up. And it might not end up the way you want it to; maybe you really can't forgive him. But you aren't going to feel better until you muddle through this horrible mess of feelings and figure out where you want to go from here. And what you're going to do to get there. And at that point, I'll support you in whatever decision you make." He glowered at me and pulled my hair some more. "But moping around and keeping all your feelings inside and not talking out your problems isn't a valid option so I refuse to let you do it. Partly because when you do it to yourself, you're also doing it to me."

I frowned, feeling tears come to my eyes. I was such a sucker for sentimental moments. And I really did have a pretty great brother... sometimes. Also, his pulling my hair was starting to hurt.

But I wasn't going to cry in front of my brother. It was what he was waiting for. A release of all the pent up emotions that I wouldn't allow myself to express in front of anyone. Not even Lily. I'd cried enough before that Divination class to make it obvious that I had, and the pitying looks I'd received afterwards had been more than I could bear. It wasn't happening again.

Apollo seemed to come to the realization that I wasn't going to cry; at least not for Sirius. He gave me an exasperated look. "I'm going to break you, Temmy," he muttered, leaning his head forward so that our foreheads touched. "We both know you're going to let those emotions go before you leave this room."

I scowled and tried to turn away, but Apollo had a firm hold on my hair, keeping me from going anywhere. My dear "older" brother always had to get his way. "Look, Apollo, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to let it out. I'm fine. I'll get over it, but I don't need help. Not from you; not from Lily; not from James or Remus or anyone else."

Apollo stared at me for a second before letting my hair go. He sat up, drawing his knees up and looking at them thoughtfully, as if they could help him break my barriers. Finally free, I buried my face in the blankets again. I heard Apollo sigh again. Felt his weight shift next to me.

And then felt his weight on my back. My eye twitched and I raised my head, though obviously he was behind me and couldn't see it. "Are you... sitting on me?"

Gently, he pushed my head back down into the blankets. "I already told you, you aren't leaving this room until you cry."

"Get off me, you idiot."

"Stop pushing me away. You're my sister and I'm trying to take care of you. So just cry already."

"What kind of brother wants his sister to cry?" I pointed out, halfheartedly struggling to remove his weight from my back.

"The kind whose sister stubbornly refuses to show her emotions and would rather self destruct."

"I am not self destructing!"

"But you will be," Apollo pointed out quietly, turning slightly and starting to massage my neck. Once again trying to break down those barriers. "You already have our unpredictable temper. And you've seen what happens when you get stressed out. You can't afford to get yourself into any more trouble. There's also You-Know-Who, just waiting for you on the outside, and on the inside. Making yourself stressed and volatile isn't going to help that situation much either. You'll distract yourself from studying for N.E.W.T.s, and you'll be unsure what to do after school because you lost the course you wanted to take while you were busy staying bitter, angry, and depressed."

I hated Apollo when he made valid points. I folded my arms under my chin, scowling ahead at the wall. "And what? You think crying about it will make it better? If I just have a good cry on your shoulder, all those emotions are just going to go away? I'll walk out of here smiling and happy and ready to fix my life up? Because that's not how it works, Olly. That's a temporary fix."

"So fucking fix it forever," Apollo interrupted. "Do what you have to to fix it. You're not going to feel better until you do. And for now, you use me for whatever you have to. Talk about it, figure it out, vent the emotions that you don't want anyone else to see. I'm your brother, we're family, and I won't judge you."

"I'm going to hex you if you don't get off me," I warned, my patience growing thin. Why the hell was everyone trying to butt into my business? Why couldn't they just understand that I didn't want to talk about it? I just wanted to be left alone!

Apollo was getting frustrated too; I could feel it through our bond. He let out a groan and rolled off me, right back to his original position. This time, he had the heels of his palms pressed to his forehead. "You... are infuriating, dear sister, and one of these days I'm going to strangle you."

"That's not nice," I pointed out jokingly; he just scowled in response. Finally, he crossed his arms and turned back to me.

"What do you want, Artemis?" he asked.

"For you to piss off," I deadpanned. He actually looked like he might strangle me. "I don't know, okay?" I snapped, when he continued to glower at me with sharp ice eyes. "I don't know what I want! I just want everything to go back to normal! I want Voldemort to get out of my head so I can think straight! I want-" I cut myself off before it could escape. Apollo was watching me out of the corner of his eye.

"Sirius?" He finished for me, smirking. I could feel heat coming to my cheeks. My eyes stung a little. I buried my face into the pillow and nodded curtly.

"Yes... and no."

"That's not a real answer. So which one is it?"

"Both," I snapped. "It's both. I want things to go back to before, when we were happy. I want to go back to when he cared about me and wanted me to be happy, and I cared about him and wanted him to be with me. And I do care for him! I want him back. But... I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at him the same again. I don't know if I can forget how much... how much this hurts. Or how this all happened because I'm an idiot and I was just afraid of what Jordan would tell everyone. I don't know what to do or how to fix it." I went silent and pushed my face further into the plush pillow. Apollo sighed next to me.

It wasn't very often, but occasionally Apollo had a sweet side. And since he'd finally got what he wanted, the least that he could give me was a hug.

~~I hadn't talked to Sirius in almost two weeks. I made it a point to sit in the common room for hours on end and pretend to do homework when I knew he was there. I ate meals with Lily sitting next to the Marauders, blatantly ignoring any attempt at conversation. Classes were miserable, especially Charms. I think Lily finally realized that getting me anything above an A on my N.E.W.T.s would be impossible, and getting me even that would be a miracle; that being said, she forced me to practice every free moment I had. Which there weren't many.

Most of my time was spent on class, homework (I think the teachers were starting to realize how close the end of the year, and thus N.E.W.T.s, actually were), detention, counseling, and Quidditch. And well all of it was pretty stressful, Quidditch (once my favorite) was what I dreaded most.

There was about three weeks left before our next match, against Hufflepuff. And considering the tense atmosphere settled over the whole team, we were actually doing ok. By that, of course, I mean that by our normal standards we were doing absolutely awful. James was more and more tempted to kill Sirius and I each practice; one could easily look at him and see how close to that he was. As for the rest of the team, I think our attitudes were starting to wear at them as well.

All in all, my life felt pretty miserable, and even my forced cry session with my brother didn't help.

He was right. It was about time that I sorted out my priorities.

It was a resolution that Sirius was going to make very hard on me.

It was ironic, really: how deathly afraid of spiders I was while still having my fondness for magical creatures. I understood how necessary for the environment they were, sure; and most of them weren't likely to hurt me. Maybe it was something about the way they moved, or maybe it was the way they could hide wherever they wanted and no one would even know.

But I was terrified of spiders. And I was relatively positive that at least one of the Marauders knew so.

So the only question I really had at this point is which one had decided that breakfast on an early morning in March would be much better with hoards of spiders and other creepy crawlies hiding in the high ceilings of the Great Hall. And had I noticed this before I'd sat down and started eating my eggs and pancakes, perhaps I wouldn't be frozen, staring between Lily and I at the fist sized spider hanging on a thin string of web above a pitcher of pumpkin juice. Lily's right eye was twitching, her mouth turned down in a frown, her spoon halfway to her mouth as she followed the web up to the ceiling.

Me? I was resisting the urge to scream, my stomach had dropped several inches and I definitely wasn't hungry anymore, and my own utensil had fallen to my plate with a loud clatter. I could swear its spindly little legs were waving at me, and it's tiny black eyes were watching me.

"L-Lily..." I whispered, afraid that any louder and I would draw the spider's attention (an obviously ridiculous notion, but I couldn't help it).

"James!" Lily hissed, her spoon meeting the same fate as my fork as she stood up, nearly catching another descending spider in her red hair.

"Lily," I whispered again, glancing up and covering my head when I realized just how many spiders were up there. Too many to count. But Lily was already sweeping down the aisle between the tables, presumably in search of her boyfriend. Leaving me too terrified to move and still sitting at the Gryffindor table.

Sirius... this was Sirius' doing! It wasn't enough for him to shag the bitch that ruined my life, now he had to unleash spiders on me too! I wanted to find him and yell at him until my voice was hoarse. Maybe hex him a few times.

But that would involve me moving, and at this point the massive amounts of spiders were lingering on their little webs inches above my head. I wouldn't be able to stand up without getting at least half a dozen in my hair. Seeing how I was a Gryffindor, crawling under the table didn't seem like the proper action.

"Artemis, are you ok?"

I was so relieved to see my brother that I nearly threw my arms around him; I settled for shooting him a pleading look for help. He was currently squatting next to me, a smirk playing on his lips and amusement in his eyes. He sighed and rolled his eyes at my pathetic look.

"They won't hurt you."

"I know that! I mean, they're just spiders... but..."

"No, Temmy. I mean, they can't." He stood up, right in the middle of a group of spiders.

They brushed off him as if he were surrounded by some kind of force field. I gaped at him.

"It's a scare tactic. They literally can't touch you." He pulled me to my feet, ignoring my protest and the way I cringed as the small creatures brushed away from me. He shook his head at me. "Honestly, you aren't afraid of werewolves, but you're scared stupid by spiders?"

"Who said anything about werewolves?" I snapped, still breathing heavier than normal and gripping Apollo's sleeve so tight that my knuckles were turning white. I was going to give Lily shit for the rest of our lives for leaving me here like this. And Sirius? Sirius was dead.

Apollo rolled his eyes again. "So? What are you going to do?"

"Um, tear Sirius limb from limb until there's nothing left of him but a finger?" The response to that was another eye roll and a shake of the head. "Do the same to all of the Marauders?" I eyed a particularly large spider as it lowered itself towards my brother's black curls. He scowled at me. "Then I don't know?"

"Strike back." I stared at him for a minute before I understood what he was actually saying. I frowned.

"I... I don't know. I kind of just wanted to do something quick and painful."

"Artemis, this is your chance. What Black wants from this is exactly what you're talking about giving him: attention. Anything that makes you talk to him. Look at him. If you go yell at him, you're giving him exactly what he wants."

I pursed my lips; Apollo was right, of course. This was Sirius' way of getting me to acknowledge him. And somehow from there, he would probably try to convince me that he deserved another chance. But I wasn't going to let him off the hook. I suffered for weeks for my mistake.

"Well?" Apollo pressed, looking at me expectantly. I nodded, cringing a little and trying to ignore a spider that was hanging right between us. It would be a lot easier to consider this if I weren't surrounded by spiders, I thought nervously. My brother rolled his eyes at me and headed to his own house table, where our classmates were now figuring out the same thing he already had and were going back to their breakfast.

Steeling myself, I walked quickly towards the entrance to the Great Hall, trying not too look too terrified as the spiders brushed away from me to either side. I heard a few sniggers regardless, but my focus was on getting out of the Hall so I had no idea who it was.

Outside in the Entrance Hall, Lily had cornered the four Marauders and was now yelling herself hoarse at them. I distinctly heard my name as I was brushing the goosebumps from my arms nervously, glanced their way. A split second of eye contact was all he got before I turned to the staircase and took a deep, steadying breath before heading on my way. Red stones were trickling back upwards as I passed the hourglasses at a a painstakingly normal pace, en route back to my suite to finish my panic attack; I hardly made it up the first three stairs before a second pair of footsteps fell in next to mine.

"Artemis, are you ok?"

It took everything I had not to whirl around and punch him in the face. Not to hex him until he was nothing but a gelatinous pile of goop on the floor. Not to curse and scream at him about lack of common sense or tact or... I didn't even really know what I wanted to say. All that slipped through before Lily yelled that she wasn't through with him was a disbelieving frown.

"Look, I'm sorry, the spiders were a stupid idea-"

I stopped suddenly and turned to look at him, the anger finally catching back up to me and the disbelief not helping in the slightest. "Oh, you will be. Sorry, that is." I saw confusion flash through his eyes; heard the beginnings of a "What?" But I didn't let him finish before I started back up the stairs. "Don't worry, I'm sure I can still play that game. I just hope you're ready," I said clearly, waving a hand casually over my shoulder.

Back in the safety of my small suite, I showered quickly (I swear I felt creepy crawlies all over me, even though none had even come into contact), but my thoughts were on something else. It was going to take some planning; I would be expelled if I got caught. I would have to start small, with things that I could easily get away with. Things I could accomplish alone, since half the school still hated me. I would have to be very, very careful.

~~Classes for the rest of the day passed pretty normally: I earned Flitwick's disapproving head shakes in Charms, Apollo and I brewed pretty spectacular poisons in Potions (beaten only by Severus Snape), and Sirius gave me apologetic and anxious looks that I pretended to ignore the entire day. It wasn't until dinner that I decided on my first course of action.

I suppose I ought to thank James for giving me the idea. The timing would require me breaking curfew, but what Lily didn't know wouldn't hurt her, as long as I didn't get caught by any other prefect or a teacher.

Between dinner and bedtime was a counseling session with Professor Slughorn. It was about as useful as could be expected.

The first thing he asked was: "Miss Gaunt, how are you this evening?" He was sitting at his drafty desk in the Potion Master's office, myself seated across from him. His tone was jovial, curious, concerned. But I could tell from his expression and his posture that he was about as thrilled to be there as I was.

"I'm doing fairly well, Professor. And yourself?"

"Oh, well, well indeed! And how are you feeling?"

We looked at each other in silence for a few moments before I answered. "I'm all right, Professor. I would say I'm experiencing an average amount of stress from N.E.W.T.'s and all the studying I've been doing. I haven't felt too angry in a while, and You-Know-Who seems to be leaving me alone, for the most part."

"Excellent, excellent!" Which really seemed to be about all that he could think of to ask. The next hour was spent with him asking more questions about my studying, and my plans for my future, and basically anything else that came to his mind. I'm absolutely positive that both of us left that office feeling that it was time well wasted.

Next on my agenda was scolding Lily. Though the panic of the morning's breakfast was gone, I still didn't appreciate her having left me alone with all those spiders!

Lily gave me a disbelieving stare. "Spiders? You are afraid of spiders?" she asked, eyes narrowed as if she believed I was lying. I sighed.

"Yes, Lily, I am. I find it hard to believe that you didn't notice me frozen across from you at the table."

Now she was smiling, mockingly too. "Actually, I didn't. I was too busy being Head Girl to think too much about why you dropped your fork." I scowled at her, but she ignored me. "Anyways, I am proud of you for not snapping back at him. I half expected you to tear his head off."

"Honestly, I was pretty surprised myself..." I admitted, reflecting somewhat guiltily on my plans for after Lily was asleep. "I certainly wanted to."

"Just do me a favor, Ar?" Lily interrupted. I pursed my lips nervously, and she seemed to take notice. She heaved a sigh. "Just don't do anything too stupid, okay? I don't want to see you expelled over something stupid like this."

I think I may have teared up a little, nodding to show I understood.

Which is why I felt really guilty when I left around one that morning with her sound asleep, praying the guys would be too. She was right, of course; this was Lily we were talking about. Getting expelled and being out in the cruel real world with only Voldemort for company wouldn't be fun. Definitely not at the top of my To Do list. But I was done letting Sirius win. And I wasn't going to do anything horrible, promise! As long as I didn't get my ass caught on the way to or from Gryffindor tower, I would be fine.

Amazingly enough, I didn't see a soul either way. Which left me going to bed around three feeling very accomplished and satisfied with myself. With a pleased smile on my face for the first time in what felt like forever, I changed to pajamas and crawled into bed for a few hours rest.

~~It smelled so nice, Sirius thought dreamily, his eyes still closed and a dream where him and Ar were happy together still fresh in his mind. Like a sweet spring day, one of those that he hoped would be coming in the coming months. Sirius breathed in deeply.

It was so... fresh. If anything, it smelled a little too fresh. Actually, a lot too fresh, since he was pretty sure that he was still in the boys seventh dorm, which generally smelled of seventeen and eighteen year old guys. Sirius slowly opened his eyes.

He was laying in a bed of flowers. Orange blossoms, primroses, and tuberoses, to be exact.

Merlin, she was a bitch, Sirius thought groggily (thinking back to their third date, these were the flowers Sirius used to decorate the table). And obviously still angry at him.

Upon further investigation, Sirius deduced that he was laying in his usual bed, only it now had the three types of flowers growing out of it from every surface possible. And it wasn't just him. James was laying in a bed of lilies (though probably not the type he would have liked), Remus was surrounded by tulips and daffodils, and Peter's bed was adorned with various colored roses. Jon and Wes had been left completely alone, making it obvious that this was Artemis' subtle (but not too much so) strike back at the Marauders for the spiders.

The other boys were also starting to wake up, and Sirius wondered if it was the cloyingly sweet scent of the flowers that was waking them early on a Saturday. James blinked at him in confusion from the bed next to Sirius'.

"Mate, why am I laying in a bed of lilies without my Lily-kins?"