Authors notes: Finally updated! sorry guys, school has been killing me the past few months.
Ella woke up, sitting up her hand flew up to her neck; but felt nothing until the throbbing in her head started. She flinched as she rubbed the bandages around her head. "Ah, your awake" Molly said, patting the cold washcloth onto her forehead. "What happened" Ella questioned as she settled back down, Molly smiling at the younger girl. "You got clipped by a bullet. Your lucky though Ella, a few centimeters to the right and you would've been dead" she smiled. Ella's mouth quirked up at the sides, "where am I?" she asked next. Molly blushed and held her head down as she answered, "Sherlock's bedroom" she giggled. "Molly if he finds out anything of his is missing-" she laughed, Molly tsked at her. "Ella Carmine I am not that kind of girl...although you might be" she said with a smile.
"Help me up, Molly" Ella motioned, Molly gritted her teeth as she helped the stubborn patient to her feet. "John? Sherlock?" Ella called as she walked out of the bedroom, "oh, in here" John called from the kitchen. "Where's my Aunt...and what happened to Sherlock?" Ella said, confusion on her face as she saw the barely sentient Sherlock waving his arms about in his chair. "Ahh, drugs..and your Aunt well she, ah, escaped" John said pulling a letter out of his pocket. "But, she, uhm, she left you this" he said handing it to her, "did you read it?" she questioned.
"No, no. No, I didn't read it. It is personal, so I kept my-and Sherlock's- nose out of it" he said sipping on his cup of tea. Ella unfolded the letter, her eyes scanning the page, getting bigger and bigger the more she read. She looked up with a far off expression, turning to John with an open mouth, she huffed, her head tilting slightly, conveying a sense of disbelief.
"I, uhm...I have to go" she said looked back up at him, tucking the letter into her bra, she turned to walk out of the house. "Oh, uhm, those are Sherlock's pyjamas" John stuttered, she tied the robe belt then opened the door in the far off manner she had before. "I'll return them later" she said walking out the door.
She walked down the street slowly, her head occasionally shifting, as she talked amongst herselves; barefoot and seemingly wandering around London with a bandaged head wound, she attracted some attention. "Ella, are you alright?" a certain DI asked her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Ella's arm flew to the unwelcome hand on her shoulder, she grabbed LeStrade's hand and twisted it to the left, his arm bending in a way it shouldn't as she pulled his hand backwards towards the knuckles.
"Ah, Christ Ella!" he gasped out, Ella's eyes widened and she let go, her hands flying over her chest in a defensive position. "I-I'm sorry Boss, I, Uh, I have to go..somewhere..I'm sorry" she said turning and running from the slightly damaged DI. LeStrade pulled his phone from it's pocket and dialed John's number, then raised the phone to his ear.
It was nearly dark when Ella stopped moving, her feet where dark brown and dirty from the contact with the pavement, her eyes showing how truly young she was, her hair bedraggled and her wound had broken open. She was a picture of true desperation. She looked up with her arms loose at her sides, rain started pattering on the cement as she heard the foot steps behind her.
She rolled her head back, looking higher up into the dark rain clouds that covered the fading day's sun. "Your not just a small time criminal who got a hold of a few bombs and Sherlock's number, are you?" she asked him. Jim's head oscillated to the side at her accusation, "No, I'm not. Then again, your not just some crazy girl running away from home are you?" he said taking a step forward, looking at the sky with his hands in his pockets, rocking on his feet. Ella looked at him over her shoulder, her eyes going straight through him.
"How did you find out about me?" she asked, fully turning to face him, eyes wide with deep purple circles underneath them. He looked at the ground and took another step, "A friend of mine...let's call him Cam, he told me about the Butterfly. Here one moment, gone in a flash. Leaves behind a dead body, and if the American police where lucky that day, a strand of died hair, in varying shades through out the years. I thought about that, how convenient for this girl to appear in London, who can change her persona with a passing thought...who died her hair" Jim said reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind Ella's ear. "and came fresh from Freedom town" he said returning his hand to his pocket, his head tilting to the side.
"How wonderful, that this 'Butterfly Doom" could appear in my little garden, hmm" he said stepping forward a half step. "I had an addiction...I couldn't always get what I needed so I-" Ella said looking down, one hand wiping away the budding tears. Jim lifted his head slightly, a frown on his face as he watched her, as she looked at him though it faded; into his general indifference and hinted manipulation. "These..different personalities" Ella said, her hands buried in her own hair as she tried to explain, "started talking when I was Ten...when I was Thirteen I stole some ADHD meds from my friend, her name was Natilee, and they stopped talking. I could be me..for a few hours until they started up again" her head shook as she pressed her hands to her face to regain her composure.
"I couldn't take from her forever...so it started up again, I- they- joined a drug ring, make up and clothes and bam I'm suddenly 18 y'know, I got that kinda face, they didn't care as long as I met my quota, climbing through the ranks until I was almost to the top. I had cops in my pocket, businesses smuggling for me; and nobody dared to fuck with the Butterfly, unless you wanted a knife in the ribs that is. I got clean about 6 months ago..my parents where cracking down on me, and father was a drunkard, people where starting to turn on me...so I ran" she said looking at him with glazed over eyes.
"I was a fucked up little kid because I had all these fucked up voices screaming at me in my head. Borderline schizophrenic in 8th grade, and these people inside me..are fuckin' dangerous. I'm scared of them, and I'm scared of me. I almost ripped off my boss' arm earlier today-Jim, I could snap at any minute" she barely choked out.
Her eyes met Moriarty's, and his straight face cracked. He licked his lips and sighed, closing the distance between the two of them. He pulled his hands from his pockets and grabbed hers from the crossed position over her chest, he stroked her fingers with his thumbs, a feeling of displeasure rising in his stomach as he watched her small hands shake. His head shifted several times, trying to see if it was just the light-or lack of, as he raised his head and eyes to the sky, having completely forgotten about the light rain.
He looked back down to their hands, her head never moving from the position it was in, her eyes always looking ahead. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth. "I forget how young you are sometimes" he said putting a hand on Ella's cheek. Ella flinched away, her eyes unblinking and unfeeling. "You act so old, but on the inside your still a scared little girl. Scared your going to hurt someone..." he said opening his eyes and staring at her hand as she pulled it from his grasp and rested it next to her other hand on her chest, fists balled up like a child's.
"Why are you shaking?" he asked her. "Cold" she responded, Jim's upper lip moved into a slight curl at how distant her voice sounded. "Don't lie to me Ella" he said coming closer to her and grabbing hold of her arm, making sure she couldn't get away. A crack of lightning flashed through the sky, illuminating- for just a second- Ella's face.
Her eyes, they seemed so hollow. Normally they held her emotions, Jim could tell if she was pissed off or happy depending on the glint in her eyes. Once she switched to Color when they where out on a date and the only hint she was different was that her pupils didn't dilate quite right; but he had never seen her eyes this empty and hollow.
Then again, Jim had never seen Ella scared.
Jim rested his forehead against hers, "your scared, aren't you Ella?" he asked her as the rain started coming down heavier. Ella went to move her head, Moriarty used the hand that was on her cheek to ball his fist in her hair, pulling her gaze back to his. "You are. Are you scared of me?" he said, moving his lips across her temple. "Or are you scared of yourself?" he said, leaning in further and planting a small kiss on her cheek, before resuming eye contact. "I don't know" Ella barely breathed.
Moriarty let go of her and stepped back, pressing his lips tightly together with a slight hum as Ella dropped her gaze to the ground. He took her in in that moment, her head down, her body curved in on itself, shivering in the hard rain in the flimsy clothes. She looked back up at him, her hair sticking to her face and her eyes still so hollow with fear.
She was a child.
She never got to grow up like he did, with kind and caring parents-despite the fact that it didn't matter in his particular case. Her father probably abused her in some way, he mused. Her mother must not have cared if she was out long enough to murder and distribute narcotics, god know that is a full time job Jim thought. She never had a childhood, those people took it over and ran her mind ragged. She had to act sane for so long, covering up her insanity with drugs and uncaring facades, never had any of it. So in this moment, in her most vulnerable and unstable time, she was the child that she had never been.
Jim opened his mouth to say something, but stopped as she took off Sherlock's robe, throwing it at his feet along with the letter. "Give those to Sherlock, I don't think he wants his favorite robe bloodied, and he'll have a field day with that letter" she said standing straighter, her eyes hardening. "What?" Jim blinked, she raised her arms out to the side.
The child was gone, the 17 year old stood before him, unblinking and unafraid. Jim thought back to her birthday; he got her a small ring, silver and blue, she fell in love with it the minute he showed it to her. He looked to her left hand, the ring glinting off her finger and he grit his jaw.
"Business is Business" she replied nonchalantly, tapping the middle of her forehead. "It's what I would have done" she told him, he stepped forward, his face screwed in disbelief. "You really think I would kill you?" he asked her, she smiled a toothy smirk and repeated; "business is business." Jim closed their distance with an angry stride, his hands going for her neck; Ella closed her eyes, waiting for her breath to expire.
Nothing. Nothing but Jim's mouth meeting hers.
Jim was kissing her with such a fury and anger that Ella fell to her knees, her hands finding hold on Jim's thighs as she sought to regain her stability. Moriarty's thumbs dug into her cheekbones, his fingers pulling the hair at the back of her neck harshly as he took her bottom lip between his teeth. He pulled away and pushed Ella to the ground, licking his lips. "I don't think I could kill you Ella, after all" he said picking up Sherlock's robe and the letter. He ripped the letter in half, "it takes a real psycho to rip the wings off of a butterfly" he said as he shredded the letter. "Even I'm not that cruel" Jim said watching the paper fall to the ground. He draped the wet robe around the confused Ella, picking her up. "Jim, this is Westwood-" Ella struggled; "shut up" he snapped, making Ella fall silent and leaving both of them to their thoughts for the length of the walk to Jim's flat.
Jim put Ella down at the front door, "stay here, I'll get you some clothes you left here" he snipped storming off. Jim stormed into his room and rummaged through the small drawer next to his closet. He pulled out a pair of pyjamas and stood there for a second, feeling the material between his own two fingers. Him and Ella had never had sex, she came over waiting for him to be released from Mycroft's 'interrogation' and waited two days before he came home. When he did they fell asleep together and nothing more, and maybe it was better that way. He snapped out of his reverie, turning to leave he stopped when he saw Ella in the door way.
"I thought I told you to wait at the door" Jim said turning to her, the clothes falling from his hands as he saw her. Fully taking in her form he twisted his head to the side. "That's one way to solve our domestic problems" he said wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning down to kiss Ella. One hand snaked out from behind Ella and closed the door.
Moran came home a few hours later, walked into the flat and seeing wet clothes in a pile by the door he stopped in his tracks. Picking them up he walked to his boss' room, opening the door, and his mouth, he looked up from the pile of clothes in his and froze. There was Ella and Jim's sleeping figures, and the smell of sex was still permeating the air. Backing up and closing the door he dropped the clothes, his jaw gritting as he went to his own room. "At least I didn't have to listen to him fuck her" he quipped throwing himself on his bed.
And he didn't, until Ella woke Jim up like an excited puppy hours later for round two.