Renee was sitting in her room, alone. She had some free time before heading to work, but she couldn't think of anything better to do than desperately staring out the window, watching the raindrops fall on the ground. She felt a little depressed, partly because of the weather, partly because of her confusion. She was lonely, but didn't want to see anybody. Her head gently touched the wall to her right and her eyes closed. Her body started shaking; she was apparently cold but didn't do anything about it. Instead she grabbed her phone to make a call.
She was thinking about the date she was supposed to have tonight. She was having some serious second thoughts and decided to call it off. What would be the point of having a dinner with him when she was not interested in him at all? The only reason she was doing it was Dean. She wanted to forget about him, she wanted to convince herself that it was a very bad idea falling for him and she needed to stop thinking about him. Now that she was considering her reason for the date again, it seemed legitimate. She saw the point of meeting the guy. For all she knew, he might be the love of her love. He probably wasn't, but she could give it a try. If it didn't work out, she can always decide not to see him again.
With Dean it was totally different. It they had a fling or something and things didn't work out for them, she could not stop seeing him. They were working together. Wasn't there a rule saying you shouldn't date people you work with? She didn't want to risk that. On the one hand, she really wanted to give it a try, but on the other hand, it was too dangerous. They were friends now. One stupid desire could ruin that. There was no going back from crossing that barrier between friendship and love. Love was too destructive to play with.
She put the phone down. She decided she would go on a date with the person she has never met before. It could be fun after all. It could be something that would stop her mind from permanent thinking about the man who reserved himself a special place in her heart. Renee wanted to believe that there was still a way out of it.
When she met Adam, she seemed like a genuinely nice guy. He welcomed her with a kiss on her cheek, he brought her a bunch of flowers, and took her to a fancy restaurant. It was not that he was short or not muscular at all, but when she was surrounded by wrestlers, she lost the ability to appreciate regular built. He was still attractive, though. He had beautiful eyes, lovely smile and everything, but Renee was not interested in him. There was only one person who she could picture being with, and that person definitely wasn't the guy who was sitting in front of her at the moment.
He tried to do his best to make her smile and laugh, he really wished the date would end the best way possible, but he could not help but notice her mind was somewhere else.
"Renee," he said softly to grab her attention. He even dared to touch her hand resting on the table.
She immediately moved her hand away. The gesture might have been a little too harsh. She looked at him, apologizing.
"Is something wrong?" he worried.
She sighed and breathed in and out deeply. "Yes," she replied. "My being here is wrong. I should have never agreed on going on a date with you."
He seemed not to understand. He was thinking it was him, that he did something what he shouldn't have done.
"Oh," he groaned.
"No," she quickly continued when she saw he did not get what she was trying to say. "It's not you. You are . . ." she took a break to think about something clever to say, but honestly, most of the time he spent talking about his traits or interests, she was not listening. Unintentionally, she was thinking about Dean and picturing him sitting on the chair which was now occupied by this random guy. "You are a great person," she assumed. "But I'm here for wrong reasons. There's somebody else I have feelings for. And to be honest, I only agreed on this date to get over him."
Adam felt how the door was closing right in front of him. The chance of getting the wonderful girl with gorgeous blonde hair equaled zero. "I see," he replied in a low voice.
"I'm really sorry," she apologized. She smiled at him in hope he would smile back but he didn't. It was totally understandable. She just ruined his dreams and destroyed his confidence. "I should go," she added. Then she stood up, looked at him to see what he was going to do but when he did nothing, she put on her coat and simply walked away.
She felt guilty for the whole situation but at the same time, she was sort of glad it happened. She was finally certain about her feelings. No more confusion. Now she knew what she needed to do. This awkward date helped Renee realize that Dean was not her crush, what she felt was much stronger and it wouldn't go away. More importantly, she did not want it to go away anymore. She really wanted to be with him. Talk to him and let him know about her secret desires. How she wished to kiss him. How she wished to take control over Dean's perfect body. She smiled at the thought of her doing nasty things to him. Wondering, smiling, she imagined how amazing it would be if they became a couple. She could see the tension in her next interview with The Shield. Of course, it would be incredibly hard for her to take her eyes off of Dean, she was well aware of that, but that was a challenge she wanted to accept.
It all seemed so dreamy but so real at the same time. She was really looking forward to seeing Dean and revealing him her dirty secrets. She did not want to wait anymore, the time was right. There was no more doubt, therefore no reasons for postponing the talk. She did not know what to say yet but that didn't matter. Something would come up in her mind. She could be spontaneous. Maybe she wouldn't even need to speak; she could show him what she felt. She could take the initiative and be a bad girl for once. She could surprise him with a kiss.
On her way back to the hotel she starting laughing when she imagined a scenario when she was interviewing all three members of The Shield, she posed a question to Dean Ambrose, then he would start talking being all cocky and dominant as he always is, and then to his big surprise, she would stood up on her tiptoes, took him by his neck to pull him closer to her and finally connected her lips with his. She could see him losing the track of the script, breaking the kayfabe and not knowing what to do. How great that would be, she thought. Of course, she would never do that in real life but it was fun to picture that situation. And who knows, maybe when she finally meets him in order to break the news to him, the real situation will be even better. It was definitely something Renee was looking forward to.