Those words opened Renee's eyes. She now saw what has been clear to Roman and Seth for a while, that Dean had feelings for Renee just as she had for him. She realized if she decided to kiss him, he wouldn't try to stop her. Maybe he would think it's strange at first, but eventually he would realize it is right and it's what both of them want. But it amazed Renee that Dean admitted he was jealous. It was untypical of him and not thought-through very well. Why would he say it? Did he want to give her a hint? Was he not aware of what it meant? Was he really so blind that he didn't understand he wanted to be with her? Renee expected the latter to be true. If he actually was aware of his feelings, he would either be honest about them or lie, the option Renee has chosen.
„Why? Why were you jealous?" Renee asked to make him realize the truth. She couldn't stop smiling; she was happy. It suddenly all seemed so easy. It wasn't really, there were many problems, but none of them could bother Renee at the moment. It didn't feel complicated at all.
„I don't know," he said, and it sounded like a denial. He wasn't pleased with the reality which seemed to him too confusing and difficult to process. „I guess," he pronounced in a hesitant voice. He decided to continue and see where his thinking would lead him, „I wanted you to notice me and somehow find good qualities in me and . . ." He let the sentence be unfinished.
Renee knew it would not be clever to force him into talking, especially when she could easily recognize his lowered confidence and insecurity. She needed to take initiative and make him feel comfortable instead.
He moved away from her, but she came closer, erasing the distance which Dean had created. She wouldn't let him escape, but she made sure not to scare him either. Renee needed to be patient with him, as he was in a new situation which he had problems dealing with.
"What's going on?" she asked carefully, to make him speak about his problems and not to hide himself from her. She was being gentle and friendly, trying to comfort him with her smile.
"You are an amazing girl, Renee," he found the courage to express his mind. "You don't deserve to be unhappy." Dean somehow managed to get away from the uncomfortable topic and change the direction of the conversation. He made Renee lose focus on him and his issues.
Undoubtedly, it surprised Renee to hear him say that. Unhappy? She didn't feel unhappy at all. But she should, she was supposed to. It seemed as if Renee forgot she was the one suffering in this situation. She was hiding her feelings; she was being forced to forget about them because Dean was in a relationship. She was alone. Yet somehow her mind would keep her believing that it would change. Maybe that was why sadness was not an emotion describing her mood.
"I'm not sad," she opposed, and she made it look like she really meant it. She didn't need to try hard; she really didn't feel that way.
"I know I've said it before," Dean continued, ignoring Renee's statement, "but you should, you have to, forget about Seth. This time, it's not a command. I am being your friend, somebody who cares a lot about you and want you to be happy."
"I am," she emphasized.
"But you know that you will never be with Seth, don't you?" He didn't understand her good mood.
"I know," she responded confidently.
"You need to let those feelings for him go."
"That'll be easy," Renee suddenly admitted, what really surprised and confused Dean. She decided to take a different direction. The original denial was not working.
"How come?" he wondered.
"To be honest, there are none. I've never wanted to be with Seth." Renee decided it was the right time to reveal the truth to Dean. There was no point in lying anymore. It has only made things worse. Dean worried for nothing. He tried to help and come up with a solution to her problem, but he couldn't succeed as long as she keeps hiding the real truth from him. That was why it all needed to stop.
"I don't understand," Dean sighed.
Renee felt ready. She somehow managed to gather all the confidence she needed to reveal her true intentions. She wanted to finally be able to have a meaningful conversation with Dean, with no more lies, no more denial. They needed to explain to each other what they really wanted and together find a way to fulfil their desires. The time has come.
A little disturbance proved to be enough to ruin their moment of truth. When they heard a knock on the door, they could not ignore it. Renee sighed in despair but, at the same time, she felt relieved. Due to that casual sound, she realized what would happen. He would know the truth. Dean would know she was in love with him. She knew that was what was going to happen, but somehow she didn't really know; her mind kept her in ignorance of reality and prevented her from thinking about the consequences of her actions. It was so close but the possible disaster has been averted.
Dean, on the other hand, didn't have a clue what might have happened. He was still too confused to focus. He was scared to try to come up with some theory which would explain it all. He needed more time to absorb the new information.
Since Dean didn't really pay much attention to the repeated knocking, Renee had to get up and see who the saviour and trespasser was.
She opened the door but she didn't recognize the person standing in front of her. That round childish face belonging to a grown-up woman was unfamiliar to Renee.
"Hi, you must be Renee," the redhead said cheerfully, and then let herself in.
"Hello, my love," she addressed Dean lying in bed while Renee was still standing beside the door in shock. It took her a while to close it and realize what was going on. When she did, she got really uncomfortable and it felt too awkward to be there.
When the girl, who was apparently Dean's girlfriend, kissed Dean and he welcomed her as well, she turned back to Renee as to get to know each other better.
"I'm Cassie," she said while Renee tried hard to look casual and keep smiling. She knew she was supposed to respond, say something, anything, but her brain was producing only words she definitely couldn't use, for they were inappropriate and showing her discomfort. Fortunately, this Cassie person didn't seem to need somebody else to join her in the conversation; she was doing fine on her own with all her enthusiasm. One thing that Renee really appreciated was that she seemed like the kind of person who trusted others and had no suspicion whatsoever. "Thanks for taking such a great care of him," she spoke. When she noticed Renee's confusion, she explained, "I've heard about his food-poisoning incident."
"Oh," was the only syllable that came out of Renee's mouth.
"Still, you didn't have to come," Dean joined what could hardly be called a dialogue.
Cassie lovingly looked back at him and, keeping her good mood, she said, "I needed to see that you are fine. Well, I needed to see you in general," she corrected herself. "I've really missed you." It sounded inappropriate to say those things in front of Renee, but it probably wasn't because Cassie wanted to show her dominance and play vicious games with Renee; it simply was the way she was, caring, cheerful, and spontaneous.
"Also," Cassie went on, while Renee wondered why she was still in there. It was neither pleasant nor appropriate. She should have given them privacy, but she couldn't force her legs to move. "I've got some news." When she pronounced those words, it was the first time since she entered that she was not smiling. Her face finally got serious, but it made Dean worry.
"Good or bad news?" he asked as he made his way out of the bed and approached his girlfriend.
"That depends," she responded, and at that moment Renee realized she couldn't stay any longer. No matter what that conversation would be about, it was none of her business, and quite honestly, she didn't want to know.