8.

Caroline was relieved that her mother was still sleeping when she arrived back at her childhood home with her arms full of groceries, flowers, and an emerald green a-line cocktail dress. This afforded her a little more time to process what she had just gotten herself into.

She put away the groceries as quickly as she could and found an old vase in the cabinet under the kitchen sink. She arranged the bright yellow flowers and placed them on the kitchen island. The dress and the two bottles of wine that she had picked up for the upcoming lunch were taken into her bedroom.

Caroline took the next couple of minutes to look at her self in the full-length mirror that stood in the corner of her room. She appraised her appearance; how she had changed and grown since her last time in this small town. Her face had aged slightly, with small smile lines at the corner of her eyes. Her body had rounded out. Gone were the straight lines of her teen-aged figure, replaced by soft curves of toned muscles from years of running in the park.

With plans to shower before heading to the Mikaelson estate, she slipped her arms through the thin straps of her dress and it pooled at her feet. Her eyes traveled over her exposed body. Her stomach was still flat and she ran her hand over the tight skin as she did many years ago, wondering how her body would have changes with the baby. The absence of stretch marks and her still perky breasts stood proud with a mocking sense of disappointment.

No longer able to look at herself without feeling disgusted, Caroline walked into the adjoining bathroom and started the shower. With her blonde locks piled high on her head, she slipped into the steam filled shower and let the scalding water attempt to wash away her shame.

As her senses started to fill with the warm moist air and her skin started to heat and turn red from the pounding water, Caroline was taken to another time; a time when she had loved recklessly. The first full night that her and Nik had spent together, their fumbling kisses, how Nik had almost slipped while trying to push their warm bodies against the cold tile wall. A smile ghosted across her face and she could feel her pulse between her thighs.

Being no stranger to self-pleasure, Caroline ran her hand down over her breast, stomach, and rested between her legs. This is the same path that Nik's hands had taken time and time again during their short-lived romance. Caroline would be lying if she said she never thought about him or their time together. She may have even called out his name a time or two during drunken trysts with former lovers.

But right now, enveloped in steam, Caroline could feel him, smell him, taste him, and that is what sent her over the edge, gripping at the tile wall for support.

Taking a moment to catch her breath and bring herself back into the reality of her situation, she finished her shower quickly. The new green dress was upscale enough to make her feel like the youngest VP of Saks Marketing, but also casual enough to have lunch with old friends. She was just thankful that Esther had made no mention of any of the other Mikaelsons being home for the reunion.

Thirty minutes before she needed to leave for the other side of town, Caroline sat at the kitchen island chewing at her thumbnail. Not a moment later she cursed herself for chipping her $200 New York manicure. Figuring it was better to show up a few minutes early rather than chewing off all of her nails, Caroline grabber her bag and the wine and set off to Mikaelson Manor.

The house was just as grand and she had remembered it. The circle drive was littered with upscale cars and Caroline parked her BMW next to a dark blue Audi. After checking her makeup one last time in the visor mirror, Caroline started the slow walk up to the covered entry. With one last deep inhale and exhale she rang the doorbell.

The sound of a woman yelling out echoed behind the door. The voice belonged to a woman about Caroline's age, "Hey Caroline, come on in."

Caroline took a moment to look the woman over. She was tall and slender with her black hair cut into a short bob. Something about this woman seemed familiar but Caroline couldn't quite place her and the confused expresses on her face must have conveyed just that.

"You probably don't remember me, I was a year below you in school. I'm April Young."

Remembrance dawned on Caroline's face. April was Rebekah's friend who spent the night of Nik's graduation party. The same night that her and Nik had made love for the first time. A blush crept over Caroline's chest as the memory of that night, and what she had just done in the shower earlier that day, came flooding through.

Pulling herself together Caroline stuck out her hand, "I do remember you April. It's so nice to see you again."

April smiled and waved Caroline it to the home. The entry looked almost the same, except for some changes in art on the walls and the scattering of children's toys. "Please excuse the mess," April said shyly, "we've never had all the kids here at once before."

Caroline followed April into the kitchen and breakfast area. There were so many wonderful and warm memories in this room of meals, laughter, and friendship. Her eyes almost welled up with tears thinking about the simpler time.

Scanning the room Caroline's eyes locked with her once best friend who was sitting at the kitchen table with a smock spread over her chest. April walked past the kitchen island over to Rebekah and placed a tender kiss on her forehead, "How's our little guy doing?"

Caroline once more was set with a shocked and confused look on her face. As she watched Rebekah and April look lovingly at each other, it all clicked. April and Rebekah are together, and the new baby is theirs. Trying to not let the shock over take her expression, Caroline wished that she had kept up better with her old friends, with modern technologies there really was no excuse.

When Rebekah looked up and saw her long lost friend standing in the kitchen she almost went hysterical. If it wasn't for the fact that she was clearly breast-feeding her child, she may have launched herself over the island into her friend's embrace.

With tears forming in her eyes, Rebekah stood from her seat, still holding the unseen baby and walked up to Caroline. "I'm so glad that you are here. It has been too long."

All Caroline could do to keep herself from crying was nod her head and gently hug her friends. April walked past them, muttering something about giving the girls time to catch up. Caroline followed Bekah back over to the table and they sat next to each other.

There was an awkward moment of silence where neither woman knew what to say until almost in unison they blurted out "I'm sorry…"

They both laughed for a moment before Caroline held out her hand, wanting to speak first, "I'm sorry that I wasn't around for you those last years of high school and even after that. It's obvious that a lot has happened and I'm very sad that I missed out of all of it." She looked longingly to the little figure that started to squirm under the smock.

Rebekah took a moment to reposition her self and pulled a very small blonde headed baby from under the smock. "I am sorry too Care. You went through a lot the summer before junior year and I just didn't know how to be there for you." Rebekah wanted to say more but she could see that her friend was no longer listening. Caroline only had eyes for the two month old baby in her arms. "This is Liam, would you like to hold him?"

Not saying a word, Caroline just nodded. Most of her friends from New York were too focused on careers to have children so she felt that she was in a whole new realm, but it also felt natural. Supporting the baby's head, she cradled him into the crook of her arm.

"So, you and April?" Caroline was burning with questions.

"You noticed that, huh?" Rebekah laughed, "It happened after high school. I always knew that I felt differently than expected…but once we were away at college, everything just happened."

"And this little guy?" Caroline asked.

Bekah reached out and stroked her son's head, "Once it was finally legal for us to get married, we wanted to start a family right away."

As they were both lovingly looking down at the baby, the sound of children laughing and tiny running feet were getting closer. Two children came bursting through the door into the kitchen. There was an older boy and younger girl. Their dirty blonde hair and piercing eyes were a Mikaelson trait.

"Auntie Bekah, we are going swimming!" the older child shouted excitedly, his English accent thick.

"That's wonderful Henrik, perhaps that will expel some of your energy." Rebekah joked.

Caroline was smiling at the family banter, still holding the sleeping baby against her chest. "It must be nice to have Finn here with his kids too." She was only guessing by their ages that they would be Finn's children.

Bekah now had the little blonde girl sitting in her lap as the young one tried to get a better look at the baby in Caroline's arms. "Actually they are not Finn's kids, although Finn does have four of his own if you can believe it…"

"Don't tell me Kol has children, I don't think the world could handle any more of him in it!" Caroline laughed.

"No, these two belong to—"

Rebekah was interrupted when the kitchen door swung open again and Nik came walking in, "Kids go put on your suits…" his statement trailed off as his eyes locked with Caroline's from across the room.

He felt as he if he had been punched in the gut. Caroline was as beautiful as ever and seeing her holding Liam, that sweet blonde baby, made him feel 18 years old again. It made all of her doubt and self-punishment run through his mind. He felt as if his feet were glued to the floor. The only thing that made him snap back to reality was his daughter leaning so far over to see the baby that she was about to fall off Rebekah's lap.

"Lily Caroline!" he snapped without thinking.

The little girl's attention turned to her father, "Sorry daddy, I just wanted to see him better." The girl removed herself from Rebekah's lap and ran out the door after her brother.

Caroline's eyes were still locked on Nik as she tried to absorb what had just unfolded around her. Taking in a breath and finally breaking eye contact, she slowly raised from her chair, placing the baby back in his mother's arms, "Thank you for having me Bekah, but I have to go."

"But you told mother you would stay for lunch," Bekah pleaded.

Caroline was already pushing open the door to escape the room when she called back, "I'm sorry, I just have to go."

Rebekah walked over to her brother and snapped her fingers in front of his face as Liam started to fuss, "Earth to moron, go get her back."

"I don't know if I can," Nik stated in a shallow voice.

"Try," was her only reply before pushing him through the door.

Caroline had made it out of the front door before the tears flowed. Now standing by her car door trying to find the keys though the tears was impossible. She felt him behind her before she saw him, "Go away Nik," she said through a sob.

"I'm so sorry Caroline," he thought that that would be a good place to start.

"For what exactly?"

Nik didn't have to think hard about his next words; they had been etched in his mind for years, "For July 24th, 2001."

Caroline's entire body froze. Hate and self-loathing rolled over her and her tears ceased. A short laugh tumbled from her lips, "How clever of you to know the date like you actually care about what happened that day."

He took a tentative step towards her, "I did care, I still do."

She laughed again, "You broke me that day Nik, and I've never been able to put the pieces back together quite the same, but I'll be damned if I let you break me again. So why don't you go back in to the family that you actually wanted and leave me alone." She finally found her keys and unlocked the car. "As memory serves, you are very good a leaving me all alone." Caroline started the car and watched Mikaelson Manor and Nik grow smaller in her rear view mirrors.

Nik was left feeling cut to the core and empty. He knew that he had hurt her deeply. He only wished that he had the stones to man up and say those words twelve years ago.

Putting the date out there pulled his thought back to where they always go. Him and Caroline would have an 11 year-old child if he had not followed his brother's advice. Where would they be? Was it a boy or a girl? Could they have made it work? Was their love that strong?

His thoughts were interrupted by his son who was now standing at the door, "Yes, Henrik?"

"We are waiting on you to go swimming."

Nik took one last look at the street that Caroline had disappeared down and turned back to the house, "I'm coming buddy, make sure your sister is ready."

About a mile away from the Mikaelson home the tears had reemerged. Caroline had to pull over in a vacant lot to compose her self before driving again.

"How could he?" she ranted aloud. "He kills my baby, just to go on and have his own with some one else. And then gives his daughter my name?" Caroline felt like she was going to be sick. She closed her eyes and tried those deep breathing exercises that her yoga teacher always talked about. After about five minutes she felt relaxed enough to drive again, but instead of going home she headed for the Grill for a stiff drink.

Sitting on the back patio of the Mikaelson home, Nik watched his children splash and play in the water. April was in the pool with them and was holding Liam. Any other person looking in on this situation would have thought this was the perfect family.

Rebekah came out of the house with a beer in one hand and one of her breast-feeding super food smoothies in the other. "Guess which one is for you?" she joked and set the beer down on the table next to him before sitting down.

It was a long moment before he talked, "I screwed up so badly Beks."

"It's not that bad. So there is some awkwardness between you two after all these years." She took a sip of her smoothie, "I mean we all knew that she had a thing for you back then and now you just blurt out that you named your daughter after her…give her some time to wrap her head around it."

"That's not it Bekah."

"Well I hope you told her about Hayley."

Nik pinched the bridge of his nose and downed the rest of his beer, "The baby was mine Beks."

"Of course they are yours, you and Hayley were married for almost six years…nobody questions that."

"No Bekah, Caroline's baby, the one she had terminated, the one I made her terminate," He lowered his voice at the mention of the abortion. "It was mine. Mine and hers."

Rebekah was quiet for along time. Her gaze was focused on her wife and child bouncing in the teal water of the pool. Every once and a while she would glance at her brother, but he just looked hollow.

"Why did you do it Nik?"

He puffed out a long breath, "Mostly because I was scared. When she told me," he paused and swallowed, "about the baby, I accused her of doing it on purpose to keep me here."

Bekah looked at her brother with sadness in her eyes. All these years, she never knew the extent of the pain that her best friend and brother had endured. "Do you think she did?"

Nik looked offended, "Of course not, she was nothing but supportive of me going to Oxford, regardless of what it did to our…relationship." He side glanced at his sister because he knew what her next question was going to be.

"How long did it go on, your relationship with Caroline?"

"You can't be mad at her from keeping it from you, she always considered your friendship more valuable," he pleaded.

"Just answer the question Nik."

"I told her how I felt about her when we got home from Christmas break in 2001. She kept rejecting me because she was worried about what you would think," a small smile played across his face as he retold the tale. "We started secretly dating after the camping trip to the falls."

Rebekah was thoughtful for a moment, "And the baby?"

"That happened some time after graduation. Like I said, I was scared and after what Elijah told me, I thought she was trying to trap me here?"

"What did Elijah tell you?" Rebekah may have looked calm on the outside, she was fuming on the inside that not only did one of her brother's have a hand in terminating a child, but now another one was involved as well.

Nik had started to peel at the label on the empty beer bottle, "That both Caroline and I would be better off without the child. That I shouldn't be held back by a small town girl. That with time, Caroline too would see it as a good choice." Nik looked almost embarrassed to retell the words.

Rebekah half mindlessly threw a pool toy back at the kids when it had landed at her feet. "I don't know who is the bigger idiot, you or 'Lijah." She took a drink from her smoothie, "Did you love her?"

"Yes," Nik answered without a beat of hesitation.

"Do you still love her?" When Nik furrowed his brow at her, Bekah threw her hands up, "I'm just saying, you give your daughter her name. And I didn't realize it until now, but when you walked in and saw her holding Liam, it looked like you had seen a ghost. You seem to still be holding a candle for her."

"It's been twelve years Bekah. We are different people. And it's only been a few years since Hayley passed. Even if she was receptive to making amends, the timing isn't right. My children are not ready for me to move on."

Rebekah huffed as she stood to retrieve a towel and take her son who was starting to get fussy, "Don't use Henrik and Lily as reasons for you not to man up and do what you should have done twelve years ago."

Nik knew his sister was right, but 'manning up' as she had so simply put it would be harder than expected. He called out to April who was still in the pool with his son and daughter, "Are you okay with them for a while?" April smiled in response and he headed for front of the house.

Caroline was already on her second cosmo when she looked around the Grill to see how it had changed over the years. She was seated at the bar when a familiar face rounded the corner from the back of the restaurant. "Well if it isn't Matty Donovan."

A warm smile came from the handsome man carrying a box of wine bottles. "The beautiful, brooding Caroline Forbes," he returned in jest.

"Hey I'm not brooding anymore," she replied with a giggle. She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol that warmed her attitude or just seeing a person from her past that had no association with bad feelings.

After her fallout with the Mikaelson family and Rebekah's disinterest in the all American quarterback, Caroline had budded a friendship with Matt that mostly involved them getting high behind the bleachers after practice. During that time, Caroline looked for anything that would turn off the pain and the voice in her head that continued to tell her what a horrible person she was.

"I can see that," he said with another one of his smiles that could light up a room. "You back for the reunion?"

"Yep. I'm staying with my mom and return to New York on Sunday." She drained her martini glass for the second time.

"New York huh? What are you doing with yourself out there?" Matt started to mix her another drink. "On the house," he winked.

"I work for Saks in marketing and purchasing," she giggled at his confused look, "I get paid good money to buy clothes," she simplified.

Matt laughed and poured himself a double of whiskey, "Well isn't that just the perfect job for you." He remembered when Caroline was extra stoned she would talk about fashion to the point that it would lull him to sleep.

"Is it okay that you are drinking on the job?" She questioned taking a sip from her own drink.

"It is if you don't tell the boss man."

"Your secret is safe with me," Caroline drunkenly winked at him. "I'm surprised you are still working here, I mean not that it is bad thing but I just expected you do be a major NFL star or something."

"Football was the plan, but when the scholarships didn't pan out, I had to find another way to pay for college." He finished his drink and poured another, "Lockwood and I joined the Army after high school." He turned and raised his glass to a plaque behind the bar that she had not noticed before.

Leaning over the bar to get a better look at the words engraved on the plaque, Caroline gasped. It read:

In Memory of SGT Tyler Lockwood

KIA November 17, 2007

"I had no idea," Caroline murmured sitting back on her bar stool.

Matt downed his second drink before turning back to Caroline, "Yeah it didn't make national news but it was a big deal here in the town."

"Were you over there with him?"

"Sure was. That son of a bitch saved my life." He pulled up the corner of his tee-shirt to reveal a large scar that ran the length of his abdomen. "Helped me buy this place too, surprised the hell out of me when his life insurance money was given to me." He mixed Caroline another drink as she had downed her last one during his story. "I was discharged shortly after healing up and came back here to make something of myself."

Caroline was glad that Tyler had at least gone out a hero, because at the rate he was going in high school, his only ambition was to screw his way through college. She picked up her fresh drink, "To Tyler Lockwood," she toasted, clinking glasses with Matt.

Nik's decision to go to the Grill and drowned his sorrows was a selfish one. Instead of coming up with a plan to speak with Caroline again and try to make amends, he was planning to get drunk enough that he didn't have to think about what a horrible person he was to her.

The Grill was crowed, mostly due to all the visitors for the reunion. While he would have preferred a booth in a dark corner, the only open seats were at the bar. Weaving between the tables of people he looked up just in time to see Caroline tap glasses with the man behind the bar.

When he noticed that the only open stool was the one directly to Caroline's right, he almost turned around and went home. But maybe this was his blessing in disguise.

Caroline paid no attention to the person who took the seat next to her; she was engrossed in Matt's tales from his time in the Army.

Nik took no offence to Caroline's inattention. A young woman with dark skin and kinky hair walked up to him asking for his order. "Your most expensive single malt, neat." He watched the woman turn and pull a bottle of Johnnie Walker King George V from a top shelf. "Be a dear and leave the bottle."

Caroline heard his voice and for a moment thought that her mind and the alcohol were playing tricks on her. Turning her head slowly to the right she groaned, "Can I not escape you?"

"It appears not," Nik spoke into his glass as he downed two fingers of scotch in one go.

In turn Caroline finished her cocktail, "If we are going to do this I'm going to need another. Matt help a lady out," she called. When the fresh drink was placed in front of her she turned to Nik, "I'm already four drinks in, so you better catch up."

"Yes ma'am," he drawled, pouring another.

Matt took his queue from their rigid body language, "It was good talking with you again Care, let me know when you need a refill."

There was a long silence between them before Nik spoke, "What do you want to know?"