Just a few moments before stepping inside the room, Dean rethought his plan. That was when he realized that he couldn't really talk to Cassie about Renee. Seth was right; that would be stupid, indeed. No good could come out of that discussion. Moreover, there were more relevant things to talk about. So when he opened the door, his mind was set on Cassie and her moving to Vegas. He was no longer thinking about Renee.
Cassie was awaiting him, comfortably lying on his bed. She didn't seem mad or upset that he left her there, alone, for more than was tolerable. She immediately noticed the door opened and in order to show that she was ready to pay attention to him, and also that she was glad that he returned, she sat up, but did not make a single move in his direction.
"So what did she say?" she asked him casually.
Dean immediately got interested, and also suspicious, but he wasn't quite sure what she meant. "What? Who?"
"Renee," Cassie responded as if he told her beforehand where he was going.
Her quick and accurate conclusion, no matter what it was based on, surprised him. He didn't mention he would go to see her and talk to her. Hell, he had no idea he would get there when he left.
Since Dean was unresponsive, Cassie smiled so that he wouldn't be so tensed, and ask him to sit down next to her. She waited until he did so, and when he was close enough for her to have him under control, preventing him from another escape, she started the conversation. "You went after her, didn't you?"
"Uhm, no," Dean refused that accusation. She wasn't totally correct, so technically he wasn't lying.
"Okay," Cassie accepted his hesitant response. "But after you left, you went to talk to her. Or is that not true?" She was certain it happened. The only real question was whether Dean would admit it.
"Yeah," he finally said. "How did you know?" he wondered.
"That's the least important thing right now."
"Huh," Dean mumbled. "I guess you want to return to our original conversation."
"Not really," she responded, trying to figure out whether Dean knew where she was going with this.
"I don't understand," Dean admitted.
She smiled in amusement. She took his hand and placed it between her palms. Then she looked him in the eye and saw that he was really confused and needed an explanation. But so did she. Her smile disappeared when she opened her mouth to pose him a simple, unexpected question. "Did you tell her you're in love with her?"
"What?" Dean freaked out. "I'm not in…," he protested fiercely before he was interrupted.
"All right," she needed to calm him down, but didn't change her opinion. "How come, then, that she's all you're talking about?" Her voice didn't express anger; it was steady and serene. It reflected her emotions. She wasn't mad, although she had every right to be. "I know more about her than about your family, or about your job," she added spontaneously.
"None of that is true. I love…," he wanted to finish that sentence, but she wouldn't let him. She stopped him by placing her finger on his lips.
"Don't say it. You know that you wouldn't mean it. Come on, Dean," she said, hoping to cheer him, as well as herself, up. "Face the reality. I tell you I have an opportunity to work in Vegas. You walk away. Next thing you do, you find yourself in her presence. You feel better with her, don't you?"
"Please, let's not have this discussion. Why don't we just…," he ending in whispering because he engaged his mouth with kissing her neck. She smiled; she liked it, but it had to stop. He was only trying to change the topic. She gently pushed him away, to what he reacted by escaping with his eyes.
"Look at me," she ordered him. "Can you honestly say that you are indifferent about her?"
He sighed. He so didn't want to have this conversation. He had it with Renee, then with Seth. It wore him out. He needed a break, a real escape. His body fell on the bed, his eyes got closed. His girlfriend followed his lead and lay down next to him. When he opened his eyes again, he saw her gentle smile, light blue eyes and that understanding in them. She didn't mean to judge him or make him feel nervous, guilty, or even intimidated by her potential anger.
"You don't have to speak, just listen," she thought that attitude would make it easier and more comfortable for him. "Firstly, I want you to know that I'm not mad. I'm not even jealous, to be honest. I know you like her. And, maybe subconsciously, you view her more than a friend. I'm not saying you love her, I'm saying that you care a lot about her, and she clearly is the object of your desires. Now I don't know how she feels about you, but I am pretty confident about your feelings."
"Then you know more than I do," Dean unexpectedly joined the conversation.
"What would you do if she had feelings for you, too?"
That question amused him and annoyed him at the same time. "Firstly, she has feelings for me," he admitted, not thinking whether it was appropriate to say it. "Secondly, could you stop saying too? I've never said I had feelings for her."
"I know," she replied. "I did." Then she remembered the first part of Dean's answer. "So she has feelings for you, huh? What's the matter then?" she asked as if it was so simple.
"What's the matter you ask? I'm in a relationship, if you haven't noticed," Dean added ironically. And unlike you, I'm not clear about my desires." He refused to take the conversation seriously. According to him, it was a waste of time, which would, once again, lead him nowhere.
Cassie thought for a minute and Dean didn't feel the necessity to fill the silence. Then she happily looked at him, satisfied with herself and with the idea she came up with. She looked cheerful, but that emotion was out of place.
"Why don't we just call it a day?" she suggested nonchalantly.
"What?" he raised from bed in surprise. "Is that what you want?"
She harmonically answered without thinking about it too much, "It's the best thing to do. And, yeah, it's what I want. It's what you want," she changed her tone to emphasize it.
"I've never said that," he opposed quietly.
"You didn't need to. Look, Dean," she continued in her explanation, "we had a good a run, but as long as you are not fully committed to this relationship, we're stuck, or even sinking. I'm not blaming you," she reminded him. "I know it's difficult when we can't spend much time together, but even if I were to move to Vegas, it wouldn't help much. And Renee… she's your coworker, you have known her longer and there are not thousands of miles separating you. That relationship has potential, our doesn't. But as I said, we have been together only for something over a month, we cannot actually be angry that it didn't work out."
"But what went wrong?" His question sounded as if he was trying to save the relationship.
"Nothing. Everything had been great. I'm just making it easier for you."
"Are you giving up on us?" he tried to understand.
"No, sweety," she said with a smile on her face. Then she stroked his cheek and softly kissed him, knowing it was the last time. "I'm just making this decision for you, because you seem unable to choose."
Dean shook his head to show disagreement. "I can make my own decisions."
"Maybe, but you're too fucking slow. So I'm withdrawing from the battle. And trust me it's a good thing," she wanted to persuade him.
"This is not gonna work. I'm not even sure I want Renee that way," he expressed his doubts.
"You think about it too much. Don't think, just act."
"What do you mean?" he was confused.
"How can you know that you like chocolate ice cream when you never try it?"
"Are you suggesting that…?" he still wasn't totally clear about it.
"Go for it," she concluded.
"You are amazing, you know that?" he said when he realized what she has been doing for him.
She laughed, and then she gave him one final piece of advice, "Never tell Renee you said that."
