12.
The next four days were packed with activity filled morning and lazy afternoons. They visited the Natural History Museum, Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Battery Park, Ground Zero, and spent plenty of time walking through the Park and the shopping district.
Caroline didn't have her night with Liam until that Friday. It was the night before April and Rebekah were heading home and they wanted to spend that time doing something special. They caught a show, ate at a high-end restaurant, and finished the night with a cliché carriage ride through the Park.
Not knowing the first thing about entertaining a six-month old baby, Caroline just stuck to the basics. She spent some time on his play mat until he became fussy. A bottle and diaper change later his eyes were starting to seem heavy. She rocked him as she checked up on the latest fashion blogs and he was soon sleeping on her chest.
She fell completely in love with his little angelic face. He smelled of fresh baby shampoo and powder. One of his hands was pressed against her neck and her heart melted. Caroline wanted this, even if she had to do it all by her self.
Bekah and April packed up after breakfast. Once Rebekah walked back to the bedroom to change Liam, April approached Caroline. "So last night was good?"
"It was wonderful. You are a very lucky woman," Caroline commented as she sipped her coffee.
"Remember what I said, if you have any questions, we are here."
Caroline called her friends a car around ten and again it took two trips to take all of their bags down to the lobby. "You have to come visit us in Atlanta," Bekah cried into Caroline's shoulder.
"Of course I will. I forgot how much I need you in my life."
April reminded her wife that if they waited any longer they were going to miss their flight. Liam was sleeping in his carrier as Caroline bent down to place a kiss on his head.
Caroline stood out in front of her building for a while after the car pulled away from the curb. She watched men and women in business suits going into work on a Saturday. She saw families walking towards the park and couples sitting at the café across the street.
She loved her life and the people in it. She was learning to love herself. Caroline smiled, thinking this was the beginning of something good.
As promised, Liz came to New York for Caroline's 28th birthday in October. They both decided to skip Thanksgiving this year and meet up in Atlanta for Christmas.
Caroline and Rebekah kept in contact through social media and video chat. They had planned to meet up for Christmas with the understanding that Nik wouldn't be there. It has been six months since she last saw him and each day her heart hurt a little less. She had started to see all the wonderful things happening around her instead of focusing on things from the past that she couldn't change.
It was warm in Atlanta, much warmer than Caroline was used to for Christmas time. There wasn't any snow and she almost wished that she had invited everyone up to the city.
April and Bekah lived in a suburb about thirty minutes outside the city. Their home loved like a Christmas catalog exploded, but it made Caroline feel like she was back in Mystic Falls.
Liam was now standing and trying to walk. Caroline couldn't believe how much he had grown in just a few months. Liz fell in love with the little boy right away and Caroline's heart was so full seeing her mother so happy.
It wasn't long before Caroline was jet setting for Fashion Weeks in Paris and Milan. She met with buyer in Tokyo and even ended up in Australia for a few weeks.
Her life was so fast paced, but she still found time for her friends and family. Seasons passed and before she knew it, her birthday was rolling around again. This time her mother and Bekah's family were coming to New York.
They opted for ordering a meal in instead of going out. When the cake was cut and when presents were being passes around, Caroline walked back to her room and walked back out with a colorfully wrapped box.
She set the gift down in her mother's lap. Rebekah bounced in her seat with excitement. Caroline had been talking with her and April for months about this.
"What's this sweetie?" Liz asked confused.
"Just open it mom," Caroline was nervous. She didn't know if her mother would understand.
Liz pulled at the ribbon and tore at the paper. A non-descript white gift box was under the paper. Lifting the lid, Liz's shoulders relaxed. "A photo album," she laughed out. "You didn't have to get me all worked up for just a photo album."
She pulled the black binder from the box and flipped open the cover. Confusion set over her face once more. "What is this?"
Caroline took a breath, "Those are potential donors."
"Donors?" Liz questioned. Each section had a profile for a different man. There was a picture and a short bio along with a few other pages outlining education, hobbies, and genetic testing markers.
"I want to have a baby, mom. On my own."
Liz had tears in her eyes, "Are you sure about this sweetie? Are you sure you don't want to wait a little longer and see if you can have a family the traditional way?"
Caroline looked over at her friends who had stayed quiet during the exchange. "I've been thinking about this for over a year. I've done my research. I've talked with my job. I've even been seeing a therapist. I'm sure this is what I want."
Placing the binder on the coffee table, Liz reached over and hugged her daughter, "I am so proud of you."
As they separated from their embrace Caroline picked up the binder again. "I've narrowed it down to seven donors and I would really like your help picking the right one."
April stood to collect a sleeping Liam from the floor where he had been playing, "Let me get him settled in and we can look over your picks."
Rebekah opened a few bottles of wine and the four women sat in the living room looking over the profiles in the binder. As she flipped through the bios she caught her wife's gaze across the coffee table. All the men had a familiarity about them. They of course were handsome, smart, and successful, but it was the copper tinged blonde hair and gray eyes were distinctively Mikaelson.
By the nights end they had narrowed the profiles down to two men, an engineering grad student and an artist who scored off the charts on the Mensa exams.
"They both seem good. I mean this is a big decision," Caroline was started to get frustrated. She knew this was going to be a hard choice, but she didn't expect to be so torn between the two profiles.
Liz got up from the couch and took the empty wine glasses to the kitchen, "How about you sleep on it and we'll talk about it in the morning."
They all said their good nights and Rebekah and April walked to the guest bedroom. Liz was bunked up with Caroline and they went to her room to get ready for the night.
"This is a brave thing you are doing Care," Liz said and she pulled her pajamas from her bag.
"I've waited for this for so long mom. I just want it to be right." Caroline pulled the quilt back on the bed.
"Are you sure this is what you really want? I ran into Esther last week and she was saying that Nik still isn't dating."
"Mom," Caroline warned.
Liz threw her hands in the air, "I'm just saying…"
"Well don't. That isn't an option."
With a single nod of her head, Liz retreated into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
Caroline put on her pajamas and slid into bed. Her mind spun. He wasn't an option. She could do this by herself. She would do this by herself.
They said a quiet 'good night' to each other before flipping off the lights.
April and Bekah noticed some tension between Caroline and Liz in the morning but they didn't mention it. The topic of the profiles was not brought up and the four women focused on Liam who was now running around the apartment babbling about trains.
By the time everyone was ready to head home, Liz pulled her daughter aside. "I know you will make the right choice Caroline. I am so excited for you and so ready to be a grandma."
Caroline had to laugh. Her mother still didn't look at day over forty. The thought of her as a grand mother was such a foreign idea that Caroline could hardly imagine it.
That night, when her apartment was quiet and she had a large glass of red sitting on the bar top, Caroline looked back over both profiles. Still not knowing what to do, she slipped the packets into two separate manilla envelopes.
Caroline didn't leave much up to fate, but she felt that just this one time that she would put this out to the universe.
The next day she went to the fertility clinic and at random pulled an envelope from her bag. "This one," she said simply as she slid the packet across the table.
"Let's see who you picked," the counselor started to open the envelope.
Caroline held up her hand, "No, please. I don't want to know. Just make sure the information is sealed in my records incase I need to know."
The counselor gave a tight-lipped smile and nodded. "Have you been tracking your cycle for at least six months?"
"Yes," Caroline handed over some printouts.
"So it looks like you are going to ovulate next week. Did you want to go ahead and try then or wait another month?"
That may have been the most important question anyone had ever asked her, but without a doubt she knew her answer. "I want to try next week."
"Ok, I'll put you down for next Monday for us to check your levels and then go from there. We will draw blood today as well." The counselor flipped thought the chart. "So your plan is to try for at least six months before intervening with hormones or implantation correct?"
Caroline nodded her head.
Finally the counselor looked up with a smile, "It's okay to be nervous. This is a big step, but this is what we have been working towards."
With the chart reviewed and her appointment for next week set, Caroline was taken to a small triage room where her blood was drawn.
This was it. Caroline had made her selection and within the next few weeks she would know if she was pregnant.
Caroline's week seemed to drag on. Sophie noticed that her boss often was caught staring out the window. "So you are going through with it then?" Sophie asked over lunch.
The blonde played with her food. "Yeah, they are going to try next week."
"Wow, that's soon."
"You know that I've been wanting this for a while." Caroline had been slowly grooming Sophie to be able to handle the work when the baby did come. She had faith in the young woman and didn't think that she could be taking this next step without Sophie there to help.
"Well here is to you not being able to drink alcohol for a while," Sophie laughed as she held up her wine glass.
Monday morning came too quickly and Caroline started to bite at her nails as she sat in the waiting room of the clinic. The same smell of antiseptic filled her senses, but this time she was there to create a life, not end one.
She was called back a few minutes past her appointment time and taken into an exam room. Her blood was drawn and then she was asked to put on a paper exam gown.
"How are we doing today Caroline?" Asked Dr. Gerard as he entered the room.
Dr. Gerard was an attractive young doctor in his early thirties. His features were those of African American and Asian descent and he had kind dark eyes and a killer smile. If he wasn't her doctor, Caroline would have asked him out.
"A little nervous," Caroline's voice was small.
A nurse walked in behind the doctor and handed him some papers. "Well your labs from last week look good. Hormone levels are within normal limits." He put the report in her chart and sat down on rolling stool. "Let's do an exam to see where we are."
Caroline laid back on the exam table and put her feet in the stirrups. This part was usually a little uncomfortable, but she guessed that she would need to get used to it through this process.
"Everything looks great and your cervical mucus is in a good state to try insemination. Do we want to try today?"
She was thoughtful for a long moment, "Yeah, let's do it." As the words feel from her lips she turned red, "I mean, not you and me, let's do it, but let's get me pregnant…I'm going to stop talking now." Caroline was beyond embarrassed.
Dr. Gerard was a good sport and just chuckled. "You can put your feet down and relax. We are going to get everything ready."
The doctor and nurse left the room. Caroline sat up on the exam table and put her face in her hands. After mentally beating her self up for a few minutes, she walked across the room and picked up her cell phone.
It rang a few times before the other line connected, "Hey mom," Caroline said softly.
"Hey sweetie. What's up?"
Caroline walked back over to the table and sat down. "I might be getting pregnant today."
"That's wonderful Care!" Liz couldn't contain her excitement. "I'll have Pastor Young say a prayer for you in church on Sunday."
"No mom, I don't want anyone to know. Not yet. Just in case it doesn't take this time."
The other end was silent for a moment, "I understand, I'll keep my prayers to myself." There were muffled voices on the other end of the call. "I have to go sweetie, I'm on duty. I love you and good luck."
Caroline hung up and decided to check her social media page. She saw updates from Rebekah with a picture from her birthday two weeks ago. Checking the comments, of course there was one from Nik, a simple 'looking good sis'. What did Caroline expect? She had made her choice perfectly clear.
Nik had sent her a friend request last year and she had just left it pending. She didn't know what kind of relationship she wanted with him, even it is was strictly thought social media.
She looked up from her phone when the door reopened. Dr. Gerard and the nurse were back, carrying a surgical tray.
The procedure was short and before she knew it Dr. Gerard was pulling off his gloves and giving directions for recovery. "I want you to come back in on Thursday so we can check you and possibly inseminate again."
Caroline experienced some cramping during the procedure and was told to stay home for the rest of the day, relax, and drink plenty of water. A short call to Sophie took care of the work aspect of the day.
She was restless when she got home. It had been a long time since she just had to sit still. Reading a book only took up so much time before sleep took her over. Dreams of blonde hair, blue eyed children filled her mind.
Thursday's appointment was uneventful. Dr. Gerard decided against any more insemination and recommended that Caroline take a home pregnancy test in two weeks and follow up after the results. "As a precaution, no alcohol or drugs," he warned.
Caroline held off on buying the pregnancy tests until the two weeks were up. "Do you want me to come with you?" Sophie asked as they packed up their things for the day.
"If you don't mind." Caroline had become less social after work, somewhat because she could no longer drink and partly because she wanted to reduce her stress.
The drug store a few blocks from her apartment was abnormally busy for a Wednesday afternoon. She picked two different brands and made the short walk home. Sophie showed up about a half hour after Caroline arrived home.
"I brought Knocked Up and The Switch," Sophie called as she held up the two DVD cases.
Caroline laughed as she picked up one of the boxes. She tried to think back to her sixteen year old self, and how it felt to be pregnant back then. She hadn't felt any different expect for being tired. Taking two of the test with her into the bathroom she followed the instructions.
"Okay, two minutes on the clock." Sophie had put a bag of popcorn in the microwave and hit the start button.
The sound of popping corn filled the apartment. Neither woman said a word until the timer went off. Caroline looked down at the tests and compared them to the pictures on the boxes.
"So…" Sophie started.
"I'm not pregnant." Caroline said, dejected.
Sophie walked over and hugged her friend. "Aw, Care. I'm sorry. But you know a lot of people have to try multiple times."
A few tears fell down Caroline's cheeks. "I know. I was foolish to think that it would take on the first try."
"Do you still want to watch the movies? We can order in…"
Caroline nodded her head. She did not want to be alone.
At her follow up appointment the nurse confirmed with a blood test that Caroline was not pregnant. She met with the counselor and relayed that she wanted to continue to try. She was told to call on the first day of her next period so they could schedule her next treatment.
Over the next two weeks Caroline felt that she was on autopilot. She did her job, selected samples, and even sent Sophie to a meeting in California.
Despite hoping that all the tests had been a false negatives, Caroline's period started. She scheduled her next appointment for just before Thanksgiving.
Again on this visit her blood was drawn; a procedure that she was now getting used to. Dr. Gerard checked her but sent her home, asking her to return the next day.
"Sorry for making you come back," the doctor apologized the next day. He again did an internal exam and stood with a smile. "Things look much better today. I'll have Ann prepare the tray."
With the second procedure complete and a small prayer, Caroline left the clinic with the intent to spend the holiday with family.
Liz came back up for Thanksgiving after hearing about the failure of the first insemination.
"How long until you know?" Liz asked, shortly after she set her bags down in the guest room.
"Not for another week, but I feel different this time." Caroline rub at her hips, which felt the slightest bit fuller.
Liz hugged her daughter, "That's good baby. Your body will tell you if something is different."
The four days that Liz spent with Caroline were spent bonding and talking about Caroline as a baby. The trip was far too short for either woman and Liz actually cried when she left.
"You call me as soon as you know," Liz begged.
Caroline hugged her mom again, "Of course. You will be the first to know."
A week later Sophie and Caroline were again watching the bag of popcorn twirl in the microwave. When the beeper went off they both jumped. Caroline held the edge of the count top, almost too scared to turn around and look at the test.
With one last exhale she picked up one of the sticks and then the other. Tears formed in her eyes.
"Care I'm sorry," Sophie started.
Caroline whipped around, "They're positive," she said just above a whisper.
Sophie was stunned in to silence, "Holy shit Caroline. You're pregnant!"
Both women hugged, and jumped, and screamed, and cried. Caroline called her mom, which caused more jumping, screaming, and crying. Next was a video chat with Rebekah and April, who promised to come up as soon as they could get some time off.
Caroline was practically buzzing when she sat in the waiting room at the clinic. Her blood was drawn and she was taken back to an exam room.
"I hear congratulations are in order," Dr. Gerard said as he walked into the room. The nurse Ann followed with a sonogram machine.
Hopping out of her seat, Caroline hugged her doctor. "Thank you so much," she sobbed.
After Caroline released him, the doctor asked Caroline to lay on the exam table and pull up her shirt. "We are just going to double check with a sonogram." He put some jelly on her lower abdomen before running the wand over her skin.
The monitor was grainy with one solid black dot in the middle. "That's your baby," Dr. Gerard said as he pointed to the spot.
Caroline was given a print out of the picture, a prescription for prenatal vitamins, and instructions for her follow up appointments. "I'll see you shortly after the New Year." Dr. Gerard hugged Caroline again before going off to his next patient.
Wanting to keep the pregnancy under wraps for as long as she could, she swore her friends and family secrecy.
That Christmas was terrible in New York. The airports were shut down more than they were functional. Liz ended up staying at home, which was all the better for Caroline because she has never been so sick and tired in her whole life. She knew the true meaning of morning sickness and fatigue.
Sophie was spending the holiday with her new boyfriend Josh, so Caroline settled in with a cup of ginger tea and A Christmas Story.
Caroline's next appointment with Dr. Gerard was a few days after the New Year. He stopped in briefly, but his nurse ran the sonogram and pointed out the dark spot on the monitor, that was now a little bigger. "Your baby's progress is right on track. With the date of insemination, it puts your due date around the end of August."
Having written down questions for this appointment she asked, "Will I be okay to travel next month?"
"Give me a moment and I'll get the doctor for you." The nurse exited the room as she handed Caroline some tissue to clean the jelly off her stomach.
Dr. Gerard walked in a few minutes later. "So you have plans to travel?"
"Yes, I fly often for work. I know in later months I won't be able to but I have an important show in February."
"How far will you be flying?" he asked checking her chart again.
"To London."
The doctor smiled up from the chart, "Just walk around every hour or so if you can to prevent clots. Other than that you should be fine. We can reevaluate you traveling as you progress."
Caroline set her next appointment for after she gets back from the London Fashion Week. With everything else in order she took her newest pictures of her baby and texted it to her mom.
"Boarding next is American Airlines Flight 1184, non-stop from JFK to Heathrow."
The overhead intercom sounded and Caroline collected her carryon before heading to the gate. She was flying first class, mainly because she wanted the room. Being three months pregnant made her very sensitive to smells and she did not want to be packed into coach.
The flight was just under seven hours and as directed she got up every hour or so to stretch her legs. The landing was a little bumpy and it was raining. She was thankful that Sophie had arranged for a car to be waiting for her.
She slept for a full day before having to go out and meet with the Saks buyers from other markets. They had scheduled a dinner in the business district for the five representatives Saks had sent.
It was still raining when Caroline left the hotel for the restaurant. She was wearing a heavy raincoat, as it was also quite cold this time of year in London. The front desk called her a cab and the doorman held an umbrella for her as she crossed the sidewalk to the curb.
The cab ride was short and the driver was friendly. His accent reminded her of Rebekah and Caroline made a mental note to call her when she got back to the hotel.
Caroline ordered tea while the other enjoyed wine and cocktails. This dinner was more of an informal meet and greet for the VPs from other markets. They were all given schedules as to which designers they were assigned to. The next four days were jammed packed with shows and parties. Caroline could already feel her feet swelling.
She felt him before she saw him. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end and she heard his deep laugh. Their eyes found each other from across the large dinning room.
Nik sat with three other men, laughing and drinking scotch. He looked the same, perhaps with a shorter haircut. He was still extremely handsome and Caroline tore her eyes from him as Frank VP from California called her name.
"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" She asked embarrassed.
Downing the rest of his drink Nik thought he did a good job at hiding the shock of seeing Caroline across the restaurant. He knew that she traveled for work but he never expected to run into her. He wasn't sure if he should just ignore the fact that the only woman he ever loved was sitting less than fifty feet from him or if he should say something to her.
He canceled his last drink order and decided to at least say hello when her group got up to leave. Nik called home and made sure the nanny was okay with staying a little later and then went back to his conversion with his friends.
Caroline kept glancing in his direction, wishing this diner would be over already. About thirty minutes later she looked up towards where Nik had been sitting and his party was gone. She felt foolish. Of course he wouldn't want to say anything. The way she left things last time, she should have expected this.
Her dinner ended shortly after and the man to her left helped her on with her coat. The rain had slowed but the night had become colder.
She was running for a cab when she heard her name. There under the eve of the flower shop next to the restaurant was Nik. She could see his breath in the cold air and it was coming at a fast pace.
Walking out of the rain and under the shelter of the store front's overhang, she pushed her wet curls aside. "Nik, it's good to see you."
He was at a loss. She was beautiful, even soaked with rain, her skin glowed and it took everything in him not to reach out and run his fingers across her cheek. "What are you doing here?" he asked in awe.
"Fashion Week," she answered simply.
"How long are you here for?"
"I fly out on Tuesday."
They were both quiet for a moment and Caroline rocked on her heels. She was able to make an excuse to leave when he spoke.
"Can I see you before you leave? Just for coffee or something." He knew that she didn't owe him anything, but he was hoping that they could spend some time together, as friends.
Caroline pulled out her phone to check her schedule. "I have a couple of hours on Sunday morning."
"Is your number the same?"
"Yeah, let me know what you want to do." Caroline slid her phone back in the pocket of her oversized coat. "Well I'm going to get back to the hotel. I'm still getting used to the time change."
Nik nodded and watched her turn away from him, "Where are you staying?" He called out into the rain.
"The Soho," Caroline called back as she ducked into a cab.