A/N: This took a long time to write because it got way too dark and long, so it was threatening to become the most depressing Christmas Day of all time. Soooo...I've split it into a bit of truth sharing, teasing and banter, with the sharing to be continued later. I know this doesn't answer all of your burning questions, but you need to stick with me for the next update. Thanks for taking the time to review guys, I really appreciate hearing your thoughts and the bits you find funny / cute. On with the story!
About 10 minutes passed before Alex put her ear to the bedroom door to try and work out if she should enter. She couldn't hear anything inside the room, which either meant Piper was sobbing into a pillow or holding onto a ball of rage to shoot at Alex as soon as she opened the door. Time to rip off the band aid. She knocked softly on the door.
"Pipes? Can I come in?"
There was no answer, so she slowly opened the door to find Piper was sitting on the bed and staring out of the window. Sitting next to her, Alex could see she had not been crying but she didn't look as though she was about to murder the brunette either. Either of those scenarios Alex had been prepared for, but this was unexpected.
Alex reached for her hand and Piper moved it away from her without looking.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Piper stared out of the window still, but seemed to be considering her answer, so Alex waited and watched for any change in her expressions and body language. Minutes passed and Piper continued to stare outside, unblinking and in a world of her own. Alex got up to leave and looked down at her, trying one last time.
"If you want to talk, I'll be in the kitchen." She was at the doorway before Piper responded.
"Did you know?" This stopped Alex in her tracks and she closed her eyes with her back to Piper at the doorway.
"Did I know what?"
"Did you know I went to prison for 12 months?" Alex could feel her eyes burning into the back of her head as she hovered in the doorway, afraid to turn around and see Piper's eyes when she replied.
"Yes… I knew."
"How long have you known Alex?" Piper was staring out of the window again when Alex turned to see if she was angry, but her tone was neutral.
"Long enough….Since you were arrested." Piper didn't turn to look at her and Alex stayed in the door threshold, but turned to watch Piper, inhaling slowly and deeply as she steeled herself for whatever was about to unfold. The blonde pulled her knees up under her chin and hugged her legs now.
"I was terrified…When it was a certainty that I would be incarcerated. I never actually believed it would happen when I was arrested…I thought I'd get a slap on the wrist….a formal warning…maybe a fine…community service even." Piper was talking as though Alex wasn't there, staring at the skyline as she spoke.
"You know, I didn't even tell my parents. I paid for my own lawyer because I was so sure it was going to be a telling off. I thought I could deal with it all without anyone ever finding out….That I could take the rap, pay the fine in instalments over the years and never have to mention it to anyone. Like it never happened…. I guess that's exactly what my family would expect…Take the bitter pill and swallow it down with a smile on your face, never missing a luncheon and burying the bodies beneath the rose garden….So not a total disappointment to them after all." Her tone was devoid of humour and her face expressionless as she spoke.
"Eventually I had to tell Polly because my Lawyer told me to plead guilty and take what he thought was the best option…12 months in prison…for moving the proceeds of drug crime across international borders….Not even touching drugs…just the money associated with them."
Alex swallowed hard but didn't say anything, letting Piper talk. She could feel tears welling in her eyes and tried to blink them away before Piper saw them. She clutched the door handle tightly, as though drawing some sort of strength from it to stand and have this conversation.
"They stopped the court proceedings twice on the day of sentencing because I had panic attacks…..The third time it happened, they just had someone stand to hold me up while they carried on talking. I have no idea what was said, I couldn't hear or see anything. I couldn't breathe to concentrate on anything that was happening, despite being in the middle of it. I didn't even understand the legal jargon when my Lawyer was explaining it anyway. I had no idea what I was signing most of the time. All I saw was what seemed to be a nice man telling me what was the best thing to do and I nodded, signing whatever he put in front of me to try and make it all go away."
The brunette's heart was breaking, hearing what Piper went through from her own mouth was harder than she ever imagined it could be. Seeing her innocent and kind Piper in a court room, unable to stand, believing that everyone around her was looking out for her best interests was painful. The Piper Chapman that never passed a charity bucket without emptying her change into it, petted the homeless guy's dog, paying more for fair trade fruit and veg so the farmers got more of her money….she should never have been standing in the dock.
Alex moved cautiously to sit next to Piper on the edge of the bed, desperate to hold her and apologise for the rest of her life at this moment in time, but she kept her limbs in her lap, palms flat against her thighs to keep from reaching out.
"I was allowed to self-surrender and given a week to say my goodbyes before turning myself in for 12 months inside prison walls."
"My first reaction was to get drunk. I tried to drink myself into a coma, repeatedly. But Polly wouldn't let me. She didn't let me out of her sight long enough to do the kind of damage I was looking for."
She turned to look at Alex now as she spoke.
"When I left you, I went to a very dark place…..for a very long time. I used drink as a way to numb myself from the pain of missing you, a way to knock myself out so the days and nights didn't feel as long. I'd started going to AA groups at Polly's insistence about 3 months before the police came to arrest me. I was attending, but I didn't believe in any of it. I was still drinking between sessions."
Alex was shocked by Piper's admission that she had become addicted to alcohol. She had always liked to drink on nights out, but didn't really bother during the week when they were together because she didn't like to feel groggy when she was going for a run in the morning.
"I was drunk when Polly took me to tell my parents I was going to prison. She tried to sober me up with water and coffee, but I was so scared of the disappointment and horror I was about to put them through, I was topping myself up from a small vodka bottle whenever Polly couldn't see me. I'm actually relieved I was drunk when I told them because I wasn't haunted by their disappointed faces every day I woke up behind bars."
"Of course, my parents thought I had been manipulated by an evil lesbian and had been going through a 'phase' when you took advantage of me. My Dad was hurt that I'd lied to him about the real reason for me travelling and they both point blank refused to hear any talk about love. I don't think their drunk and dishevelled blue eyed little girl was in a position to argue a case for you at that point, so you went on the Chapman 'Most Wanted' wall."
Silent tears were running down Alex's face now and she leaned back slightly, hoping to keep out of Piper's line of sight as she talked.
Piper was quiet for a moment, before reaching out to wipe away the tears from Alex's cheek. Alex looked up at her, surprised by the sudden tenderness.
"I'm sorry I ever got you involved Piper. If I could turn back time…"
"I know. But the truth is that I would have done it eventually anyway. I would have done anything for you, followed you anywhere. You were working for a drug cartel when I met you and you told me from our very first conversation, you never deceived me about your business. I knew exactly what I was agreeing to by being with you and you could only keep me away from your work so much. I was complicit by being with you when I knew the truth about your business and turning a blind eye when you took calls was no excuse."
"How can you be so reasonable about it? That was MY work, MY choice to do that for a living and you ended up in prison because of something I chose to be involved in?"
"12 months is a long time to think….And I realised that a lot of people I was serving my sentence alongside were there because they made a bad decision in life. I was lucky compared to some of them. Some of those women will never see freedom because of an impossible decision they made years ago, many because of love too. In the end, I wasn't all that different to them. I started off with more privilege than most, but we are all capable of doing questionable things in the name of love."
The lump in Alex's throat was preventing her from getting any words out now. She couldn't swallow it and she was afraid of what it might become if she let it out. Instead, a steady stream of tears was pouring down her face as she looked at her hands in her lap. She could feel Piper watching her as she tried to control her breathing.
Piper leaned over and hugged her tightly. "It's OK Alex….I'm OK. Listen, though." She leaned back and brought Alex's face up to meet hers.
"As much as it's been good to clear some things up this morning, you're killing my Christmas spirit here. I mean, there's a distinct lack of party hats in this room and I distinctly remember you promised me mistletoe. In fact, your actual words were that you were going to check out my mistletoe. So…you know. Just saying, I've got great expectations this Christmas Day and my Santa eggs were an awesome start….So, we're gonna put this conversation in a 'to be opened later' box and peel some bloody potatoes before we have to dial up a pizza to feed our guests…..OK?" Piper wiped Alex's cheeks before kissing them quickly and standing up, reaching out for Alex's hand.
"Alright, we'll put it in a box for now….But how the Hell do you expect me to stand peeling potatoes with you when all I can think about is your mistletoe?!" She chuckled and took her hand and they walked to the kitchen.
XXXXXX
The veggies didn't take long to prepare and the table was set all ready now for the guests. Piper had the Christmas songs playing on the docking station to ensure they were swamped with Christmas all around them to make up for lost time. They had an hour before Nicky may or may not turn up at 1pm, so it was time to get showered and changed. Alex went upstairs to use the en-suite next to her room, while Piper took a shower in the main bathroom.
Piper was standing under the hot water, feeling a sense of it washing away the heaviness of the history they had shared this morning. She knew it was a bigger conversation than they'd had so far, but there was a risk it would take over the day and she'd been looking forward to celebrating Christmas for the first time in years with people she wanted to spend her time with and not stifled conversations with her mother. Piper had been relieved to see that Alex felt a lot of remorse for getting…well…letting…her get involved in the cartel business and it clearly weighed heavily on her shoulders from what Piper saw. The truth was, Piper had processed a lot of the emotions surrounding that when she went to prison and was much more interested in the future now. She went through the full spectrum of denial, blaming Alex, hating her, wanting revenge, acknowledging her own part in the crime, accepting she made the decisions, feeling hard done by for the punishment that she felt didn't fit the crime, accepting she could do nothing to change it, making the best of her time out in prison and feeling that she had paid her debt and was ready to start with a fresh slate. It happened, she paid the price and she was moving on. But seeing Alex's reaction made her realise that the brunette had not confronted her own emotions about it. She wondered if she had expected Alex to have seen it as a simple business decision, for which Alex hadn't thought twice about since it happened.
She switched off the water and towelled herself down before wrapping a towel around her and walking through to the bedroom to get dressed. She dried her hair and put a few loose curls through it with her irons and tied the back up into a messy bun, leaving a few curls framing her face. Putting on a pair of shiny black trousers that hugged her ass, she chose a white silk blouse with a black stripe down the front of the buttons that looked like a skinny tie with roll-up sleeves. She put on some thick black mascara, light blush and bright red lipstick to finish the look.
Piper was talking to her Grandmother on the phone, with her other hand in her pocket as she leaned against the window frame in the bedroom when Alex came in to see if she was ready. The brunette tapped on the open door to get her attention and Piper turned, raising her eyebrows appreciatively at Alex's attire when she saw her. She was wearing a loose fitting dark blue jumpsuit with a plunging neckline, which left her arms and shoulders bare so that all of her upper body tattoos were visible. Her dark hair was straightened and hung loosely around her neck and onto her collarbone and she had her trademark black eyeliner flicked up at the edges beside her long black eyelashes and shiny pink lip gloss. Alex chuckled and raised her eyebrow over the top of her glasses before turning to leave Piper to finish her call.
There was a knock on the door and Alex went over to open in. Nicky practically knocked her over when she pushed through the door
"Jesus Vause, I'm freezing my tits off out here!"
"Merry Christmas to you too Nic."
"Yeah, yeah, season's greetings and all that." Nicky thrust a hastily wrapped bottle-shaped gift into Alex's hands on her way past and took her coat off, throwing it over the side of the sofa.
"Why thank you Mrs Clause." Alex grinned, shaking the present in her grasp. "You want a drink?"
"Thought you'd never ask. Got any beers?"
Alex put the present next to the little tree with the rest of the gifts and went to the fridge to take out a beer for herself and Nicky.
"Cheers." Alex clinked her bottle to Nicky's and they both took a long drink as they sat together on the sofa.
"So, what time are the others getting here then? I can't believe I'm first…I could have had another hour in bed this morning."
"Um, around 2 I think. I wasn't expecting you to be almost on time actually."
"Well blondie promised me something exciting to unwrap…" She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"That I did Miss Nicholls. Merry Christmas!" Piper walked into the room behind them and came over to hug Nicky.
"Merry Christmas indeed! Wow, Chapman you look smoking….I approve of your choice of wrapping paper…" Nicky looked her up and down very obviously and stopped at Piper's boobs, licking her lips before taking another drink from her beer. Piper laughed and went to get herself some iced water from the fridge. Nicky was delighted with the scowl that she got from Alex when Piper's back was turned.
"Looks like I'm not the first one here after all eh stretch?" Nicky chuckled.
"I told you she was staying last night. It was easier."
"Easier? Never figured Piper to be that. You maybe, but not blondie over there. Just so you know though, I would totally let her play the pillow princess with me." She winked as Piper returned to sit with them.
"So Piper, how ya feelin'? Has Vause here been taking good care of you?"
"I'm feeling just fine thanks. Alex has been taking excellent care of me. Hopefully I'll get the all clear next week and I won't need a babysitter anymore. What time did you guys finish at the bar last night? Was it a late one?"
"Ah, we made the most of the pre-paid tab that's for sure. I'm disappointed I'm not more hungover actually, but I'll see what I can do to make up for it today. At least you're not drinking bottled water today are you Vause?"
"Definitely not. I'll need something with a decent alcohol content to put up with you all day."
There was another knock at the door and Piper jumped up to answer it, knowing it would be Polly and Pete.
"Hey! Merry Christmas guys!" Piper hugged Polly tightly and then Pete.
"Come on inside. Did you get through the snow OK?" She stepped back to let them both through the doorway.
"Yeah, the roads are turned to mush already….Oh my God, this place is a fucking mansion SuperCunt!"
"Merry Christmas Molly." Alex stood to take the coats from her guests, picking Nicky's up on the way.
"You must be Pete right?"
"That I am. Nice to meet you er, what did Polly call you?" Pete grinned, knowing fine well what Polly called her. Alex laughed out loud.
"SuperCunt. It's all Polly thinks about when she's near me. I guess it's a lot of wishful thinking on her part. I don't want you thinking about my super cunt though Pete, so just call me Alex." She winked as she went to hang the coats up.
"Do you want a beer Pete or are you driving?"
"Designated driver tonight, so I'll join you with the iced water Piper thanks. Polly here says she's determined to drink all of the expensive wine you promised her, so I hope you've got a few bottles in." He grinned and sat next to Nicky on the sofa.
Polly walked over to see Piper at the fridge, leaving the other three sitting on the sofa now.
"Shit Piper, she must be loaded to live in a place like this. I thought we got the wrong address when we were pulling up to the car park."
"Gorgeous isn't it? You should check out the views from the windows. You can see all across the city skyline from up here."
"How did it go last night?"
"It was OK, nice. I should be asking how your night was anyway. Nice to spend some time with Pete instead of me?"
"It was good to sleep in my own bed I admit. I love you Piper, but I also love sex and you've become a bit of a cock-blocker this last week." Piper laughed loudly.
"Fair point I think. Sorry about that. I like your dress by the way, is that new?"
"It is! Christmas present from Pete, I love it! He was threatening to buy me a barbecue, so I made damned sure he knew how a joke present would go down by pointing this out very specifically as an excellent insurance policy for Christmas morning sex. I held out until I opened everything too."
"Smart. It's gorgeous, really suits you Pol."
"Thanks. What's the plan for tonight? Are you heading back to mine or staying here again?"
"I'll come back to your place. I don't want to outstay my welcome and I'm sure Alex would like some space to think without me hanging around. She put my clothes through the laundry last night, so I have something to change into already."
"Already domesticated her have you? How cute!" Polly teased.
"What's cute?" Alex asked as she came into the kitchen behind them.
"You are, apparently." Piper grinned.
"Is that so?" Alex raised an eyebrow at Polly.
"I didn't mean it that way. Don't get a big head. It was sarcastic. Where is my expensive wine?"
Alex laughed and pointed to the wine bottles in the cooler.
"I'm going to get started on dinner so we can fill everyone up with food before they get to the really expensive stuff. You OK to eat in about a half an hour?"
"Yep, fine with me. I'm starving." Piper poured a large glass of wine for Polly so she could go back to the lounge and turned to see what help Alex needed with dinner.
"Hey, can I help with anything?"
"Hey, yeah can you put the plates in there to warm while I make the cranberry sauce?"
"Sure."
Piper put the plates in the oven and moved behind Alex to whisper in her ear. "You are cute though."
"Oh really." Alex turned and screwed her face up before leaning over to pick up the cranberries.
Piper checked to see if anyone in the lounge was looking over before stroking the skin on Alex's back. She kissed the salt shaker tattoo on her shoulder softly, moving her lips up towards Alex's neck. She trailed her fingers over the bare skin around her shoulders and down to snake just under the material covering Alex's braless breasts. They were facing towards the lounge and both of them were watching their guests as Piper's fingers softly stroked just the side of Alex's left breast as Piper kissed the bottom of her neck now.
"Piper…" Alex turned to raise an eyebrow, warning her to stop.
Alex was stirring the fruit and the sound of the Christmas music was playing in the background as Piper moved her fingertips further inside the front of Alex's top, stroking the underside of her breast so softly.
"Seriously, you'd better stop that." Alex tried to move to the side but Piper pulled her against her front and squeezed her breast now.
"Or what?" Piper breathed into her neck.
Alex closed her eyes briefly and stopped moving the wooden spoon, until Piper stopped and told her to carry on with dinner. As soon as she started with the spoon again, Piper moved her fingers over Alex's nipple so quickly that Alex was straining forwards to try and get more contact. Piper pinched her nipple and rubbed her thumb over it, raising it to a stiff peak before removing her hand completely.
"Does anybody want another drink?" Piper shouted as she took her hand out of Alex's top, drawing everyone's attention to them and causing Alex to quickly turn away with the pan to hide her flustered face.
"Nah we're good thanks P. How long for dinner? Do you want us to do anything or sit at the table maybe?" Polly shouted over.
"Alex? What do you want?" Piper looked at her, turning her back to the group and raising her eyebrow suggestively.
"No, we're good thanks. Should be ready in about 20 mins." She called over to Polly in the lounge before turning to Piper.
"You. Will pay for that." She muttered so only Piper could hear. Piper grinned back at her.
"Mmmm, I hope so." She winked and went back to the group to join their conversation.
Alex finished up cooking and plating the dinner and Piper herded everyone into the dining room to be seated before they ate.
"Wow, the views in here are amazing. No wonder there's a cosy sofa right in front of the windows." Pete was very impressed as they all looked out of the windows.
Alex came in behind them with a bottle of champagne to toast the day before they started and was busy taking the foil off when Nicky piped up.
"Yeah, great views out there. Not that you can see much with your ass cheeks pressed against the glass though. Looks like you need to clean your windows there Vause. I'm just wondering if I can recognise the prints…." She started to step closer to the window as Alex's cheeks changed an amusing colour and Piper struggled to contain a fit of giggles.
"Speaking of asses….can you all sit yours down at the table please and we can be civilised for a while?" Piper decided to rescue Alex from any further embarrassment as she sensed Nicky was just getting started and Polly would be hot on her heels.
"Champagne! Count me in to be seated! I bet this is good stuff…" Polly exclaimed and rushed to take a seat as Alex opened the bottle. Piper walked behind her and leaned in.
"Hadn't expected you to pop your cork so soon… I love to see it spilling over the edge, begging to be licked…Don't you Al?" Piper was already on her way to the kitchen before Alex could reply and she poured out the champagne into all of the glasses, handing them out to everyone as Piper returned having reapplied her lipstick.
"Who wants to toast?" Piper asked as she picked up a half glass.
"I'll do it." Nicky said, picking up her glass.
"To friendship – old, new and the kind that puts your naked ass on glass. Merry Christmas!"