A/N: I don't usually do this, but go to and search "Kayden + Rain." I was feeling really depressed and lonely, but this video made me feel surprisingly hopeful. It's not just a feel-good/happy thing. There's something so extraordinary and light about it that you can't help but feel like the world is a little better. If you're feeling upset at all, go watch it.
SOMEBODY WRITE ME A REVIEW!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Chapter 3: Of Homes Lost to War
On the evening of December 24th, Rowan and Remus approached the Delacroix Manor for Christmas Eve dinner. Remus squeezed Rowan's hand tightly. His palm was slightly sweaty and his stomach was in knots. He focused on the giant house in front of him, and the yellow light emitted from the numerous tall glass windows seemed rather menacing. Suddenly, he felt Rowan slow to a stop before they reached the door, and he looked down at her confusedly.
She smiled gently at him. "Remus," she started softly, "You don't need to be nervous. It's just dinner."
He grimaced and wanted to laugh humorlessly at her but didn't think he could muster that amount of vocal volume without vomiting. "It's not just dinner. Your dad already doesn't like me. I don't even know what I'm going to say to him yet," he breathed in a nervous rush. He ran a hand through his hair.
Rowan smiled thinly. She had told her father about Remus' condition a few months before when he'd moved out of his parents' home. Remus was a critical part of her life, and she wanted all of her loved ones to know it, which pleased the dark presence at the back of his mind but also distressed him greatly. He had nearly thrown up with relief when her mother had told him that she supported their relationship, but to say that her father had been displeased at the news of his condition would be an understatement.
Rowan and Richard had spent close to an hour arguing over her choice of boyfriend. His face had contorted with anger at the thought of his daughter seeing a werewolf, and he bellowed till his throat was sore that she was throwing her life away. But she stood steadfast against verbal assault, and by the end of the night, he'd been forced to accept that she wouldn't budge on the matter, though he made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with the young man. They hadn't spoken about it since, but she insisted to Remus that it was just a matter of time before he understood.
It had taken a lot of pushing on James and Rowan's parts to convince Remus to come to the annual Potter/Delacroix Christmas Eve dinner. James was bringing Lily, obviously, and they argued that it made sense for Rowan to bring Remus, since their relationship was nearly as serious as the formers' and had existed twice as long at the very least. But Remus had been hesitant, to say the least – the knowledge of her father's disdain for him was sickening, and the thought of seeing him in person in such an intimate setting was terrifying. It had taken many weeks of reassuring him that she didn't care for him to even come close to accepting it. She admitted that her father's approval would mean a lot to her, but she was determined to be with him no matter what anyone said, which made Remus both proud and full of dread.
But as always, Remus couldn't say no to Rowan's pleading, and he found himself on the doorsteps of the incredibly intimidating Delacroix Manor. His family was well-off enough – his father made a decent living at the Ministry with enough to retire comfortably – but this was a different level of wealth that he'd never imagined. He knew the Potters and Delacroixs were old Pureblood families, but the enormity of their wealth was suddenly very real, and the anxiety that he'd felt before was multiplied. He suddenly felt very self-conscious about his appearance.
He looked down at her, feeling nauseous, but she smiled at him encouragingly before pulling him up the remaining steps and walking into the foyer. Remus was relieved momentarily when Alfred emerged to greet them first, hugging Rowan tightly and shaking Remus' hand warmly. He told them that Richard still hadn't returned from the Ministry but would be home soon, and as they moved to the dining room, Rowan's fingers laced between his reassuringly. He grimaced but braced himself, following her into the house.
"I wonder what's keeping the Potters," Rowan said quietly, looking over at the kitchen clock again. They were supposed to have arrived ten minutes before, and it wasn't like them to be late. Julia Potter was nothing if not punctual, and she was very efficient at keeping the men in her family in line with her schedules. Rowan couldn't remember the last time they were late for an event. She felt a chill creep up her spine that she couldn't shake. Her foot twitched nervously.
Remus was sitting next to her, but he hadn't seemed to notice her distress as he was pointedly attempting to avoid eye contact with Richard. The older man had been staring him down since arriving home twenty minutes earlier, and the stress was wearing on him greatly.
"Richard, leave the poor boy alone," a voice called out.
The older man looked up from his visual assault to see his wife sitting down next to him at the table. She also looked concerned.
"It's not like Julia to be late," she said softly, mostly to herself. "I hope nothing has happened." The two women shared a grimace, and Rowan couldn't help but feel an overwhelming wave of dread wash over her.
As if answering her thought, a silvery light emerged from the wall. Alfred hurried into the room after it, eyes wide with fear. Rowan's stomach dropped, and she felt Remus' hand grip hers painfully when it took the form of a stag – it was James' Patronus.
His voice echoed eerily from the bright light: "We've been attacked. Call Dumbledore. Please hurry." And with that, it vanished without a trace.
Rowan's heart stopped for a moment before turning to Remus, who was already gazing at her with fear written across his features.
She stood to her feet suddenly and thrust her wand into the air. "Expecto Patronum!" A wolf flew from her wand and disappeared. Remus followed suit, and his wolf vanished after hers.
"We have to go," she breathed in a rush, and he nodded. Her parents both stood jerkily, looking pale.
"What do you mean? Where do you have to go?" her father demanded.
She looked at him fiercely, anger rising quickly. "Dad, we have to meet the other Order members, to the Potters' house. We have to go!" she half-shouted.
Richard's face contorted angrily. "NO!" he shouted. The sudden volume made Rowan jump. "No, you cannot expect me to let you go fight like this! You don't even know how many there are! You could be outnumbered!" he cried indignantly. He moved to block her path from the door.
Rowan felt rage spike through her hotly. "Dad, I don't have time for this!" she shouted. "Get out of my way!"
"At least let me come with you then!" he shouted.
Rowan wanted to punch her father. "Fine, just GET OUT OF THE WAY!" she bellowed, pushing him out of the doorway and running down the hall with Remus close behind her. She could hear her father shouting a goodbye to her mother before stumbling after the two. As they hit the cobblestone walkway, the three of them Disapparated on the spot for the Potters' home, the icy air seeping through their pores and churning in their guts.
Rowan could barely breathe. There was a glowing green skull floating menacingly above the Potter house. As Remus and her father appeared beside her, they stood for a moment in silence, the terror seizing all of them. Rowan could barely move at the sight of the eerie glow – the Death Eaters only released the Dark Mark when someone had been killed.
She felt her legs moving towards the house before she could stop herself. She vaguely heard Remus call after her to wait, but she was sprinting as hard as she could, the cold winter air stabbing her lungs harshly and the snow crunching beneath her feet deafeningly. As she reached the door, she drew her wand, but just as she was about to open it, it burst open.
She found herself in a standoff, both people staring down the ends of each other's wands. It was Sirius.
"Identify yourself!" he shouted angrily at her, though his eyes wavered.
She took a shaky breath, steadying herself. "I am Rowan Delacroix, girlfriend of Remus Lupin. I once pushed you into the lake during our Fifth Year. We met on the Hogwarts Express on the first day of school," she breathed quickly. "Now you," she gestured jerkily.
He stared at her with wide eyes and nostrils flaring. His face was smeared with – was that blood? Her stomach lurched. "My name is Sirius Black, boyfriend of Mina Surrey. For your seventeenth birthday in July, James and I took you for ice cream and a Muggle movie. I go by the nickname Padfoot," he replied shakily.
His words sank in slowly, and when he lowered his wand, she was taken off balance as he threw his arms around her. She felt his shoulders trembling, and her body seemed to absorb the vibration, shaking as well.
Remus and Richard had made it up to the house by this point. The older man grabbed Sirius by the shoulders and pried him off of Rowan. He looked at him fiercely and shook him slightly. "Where is John? Where is James' father?" he demanded. His eyes were wide with panic. Rowan had never heard her father's voice tremble in such a way. She suddenly realized that she could barely see anything. It was so dark. What had happened to all of the lights?
But then Sirius' lips began to tremble, and Rowan's stomach dropped again. She couldn't breathe. Richard's eyes widened even further, mouth gaping and gasping for breath. He pushed Sirius aside and stumbled blindly into the house. Rowan tore after him, leaving Sirius and Remus in the doorway. She vaguely heard them whisper something rushed to each other.
She followed her father into the Potters' kitchen where her stomach lurched painfully at the sight. Julia Potter was lying on the table with Lily hunched over the her, softly muttering incantations with a cold icy light emitting from her wand, illuminating the dark room and the girl's face eerily. Her hands were covered with blood. As Rowan moved closer, she saw that there was a large, bloody gash in the older woman's chest, just below her right collarbone. She was wheezing painfully but seemed to be unconscious. It sounded as if there was fluid in her lungs.
She watched her friend dumbly for a moment as the redhead slowly close the wound before realizing that John Potter's body wasn't there. She jerked her head around to scan the room quickly and saw that there were bloody rags scattered across the floor. Most of the chairs were broken in pieces with wood from the walls and furniture scattered in splinters among the rags There was a bloody handprint smeared across the far wall.
Rowan finally spotted her father and James stooped in the corner, hunched over a dark figure on the ground, and Rowan suddenly knew why the Dark Mark floated above the house. She felt her lungs constrict and struggled to breathe as she saw her James' form tremble violently, kneeling over his father's body and sobbing. She heard a frightening groan and realized with horror that it had come from her friend, who had pulled his father's body to his, rocking them both with muffled sobs. Richard had collapsed backward onto his rear and hands and stared dumbly at his oldest friend's limp form before burying his face in his hands and letting out a gasping sob. It shook her deep at the core.
Rowan wanted desperately to do something, to help somehow, but as she looked at Lily, James and her father, she realized that she couldn't do anything for any of them. She was mortified that she couldn't even move to try to console the two men, but what could she possibly say to them? She'd never felt so helpless, so weak, and she felt a surge of angry frustration bursting from her throat but bit it down. It escaped silently from her eyes in a hot stream of tears.
She jumped at the sound of sudden movement and turned jerkily to see Sirius, Remus, Kingsley, and Dumbledore emerging into the kitchen quickly but cautiously. Remus moved to stand next to Rowan by the table, and she could feel his gaze on her. She had placed her hands on the edge to support herself, as she feared that her legs might give out on her just like her lungs seemed to. Why was she so useless?
Dumbledore and Kingsley looked over Julia's still form. Lily had finally stopped chanting and had lit her wand to illuminate the room. Her face was paler than Rowan had ever seen, and her jumper was caked with congealing blood. The wound in Julia's chest had finally stopped bleeding, but she was still wheezing. Her face was covered in a thin film of sweat and dirt.
"I've closed the wound, but she needs to get to St. Mungo's immediately," Lily whispered quickly to Dumbledore. "I think she punctured a lung, and the curse they used was extremely dark magic. I don't know if my spells will hold the wound for long." He nodded and looked to Kingsley who moved forward with his wand drawn. He floated the woman off the table and headed towards the door. Lily followed closely behind, and a faint popping could be heard from outside as they Disapparated with the injured woman.
James' sobbing had quieted, though he was still clutching his dead father's body desperately. Richard had also stilled eerily but remained on the floor with his face in his hands. Rowan was suddenly struck with the realization that she barely recognized him. Remus' hand covered hers and squeezed it tightly.
Dumbledore finally spoke. "We need to move his body and report his murder to the Ministry so they can begin searching for the culprits and place additional protection around Julia at St. Mungo's," he said quietly but firmly.
Sirius let out a barking laugh. It was cold and deafening in the dark silence. Rowan flinched at the sound. "The Ministry? The Ministry?" he asked incredulously. His voice was shrill with indignation. "Mr. Potter worked for the Ministry! How the fuck is the Ministry going to protect anyone?" he shouted. He was hysterical with his arms jerking wildly and tears escaping from his eyes.
"It's all we can do for now," Dumbledore responded calmly. "We need to move now though. We don't know if the Death Eaters will return to finish their work here. We need to get to headquarters now."
James remained still though, and for a few deathly quiet moments, Rowan thought that perhaps he and her father had died in the silence as well. Neither moved, and she couldn't even see the rise and fall of their backs for breath.
Finally, she jerked her head up as she saw Remus move forward quietly, kneeling down besides James and whispering something to him softly. He placed his hands gently on James', and after a moment, the dark-haired boy's hold loosened, laying his father's body back down to the ground gingerly, as if he were made of paper-thin glass.
Remus then looked over to Richard, and Rowan felt her eyes burn again with tears at the sight of him placing his hand firmly but gently on the older man's arm and pulling him up to his feet. Richard staggered but stood slowly, still unseeing. His face looked so much heavier than she'd ever seen, and she realized just how old he'd become over the recent years. Remus squeezed his shoulder again before letting go.
As James stood, Rowan mustered up the courage to move forward hesitantly and grasp her father's hand. He squeezed her hand tightly, and she returned it, guiding him backward gently as Remus levitated John's still form and moved towards the doorway. Rowan followed him, a sudden wave of determination taking over her, and she firmly pulled her father with her. James and Sirius followed slowly, neither speaking nor looking at each other, and Dumbledore held the rear.
As they exited, Rowan looked back again above the house. The nightmarish green light was no longer there, but the air seemed dead, as if the skull had consumed it. As Remus, Rowan, and her father stood and waited for the other three men to join them, Rowan looked at Remus. He was watching her carefully, and she gazed at him fiercely, overwhelmed with the loud silence, grief, and her admiration for him. She couldn't find the words, but as he took a deep breath and looked at her, she knew that he understood. Her father gazed at the house longingly. She could almost imagine the lost memories playing in his mind.
The last three met them finally, and Rowan looked one more time at the Potters' home, so dark and foreign looking. It didn't look anything like the same house that she'd known her whole life, and as they Disapparated for the Order headquarters, she thought to herself that she never wanted to see it again.