It is eerily terrifying that there is no sound when a heart breaks. Car accidents end with a bang, falling ends with a thud, even writing makes the scratching sound of pencil against paper. But the sound of a heart breaking is completely silent. Almost as though no one, not even the universe itself could create a sound for such devastation. Almost as though silence is the only way the universe could pay its respect to the sound of a heart falling apart. — Nikita Gill

Inamorata – A woman with whom one is in love; a female lover (Italian)
NDA – Non-Disclosure Agreement, signed by Yuán and Traynor at termination of the Ø7 program
SDU – Standard Duty Uniform
VI – Virtual Intelligence
XO – Executive Officer

• ALLIANCE CRUISER SSV TOKYO · EXODUS CLUSTER, AT LARGE •

Staff Lieutenant Yuán Xiùlán felt totally broken inside. She was able to compartmentalize her feelings—separate her personal self from her professional—but it wasn't an easy task. It had been a mere fifteen days since her loving relationship with Samantha Traynor had seemingly imploded during a comms call to her residence on Arcturus Station.

Sammy had terminated that call in a fit of grief-stricken anger; now, she was refusing to respond to any of the text messages Xiùlán sent via omnitool, and calls to her personal terminal on the station, after going unanswered for eight days, were disconnecting before completion, which could only mean that Sammy had moved out of her quarters on Arcturus to take up residence at the nearby shipyard, where she would be working on an R&D project for a new class of frigate.

Xiùlán felt as if her heart had been ripped from her chest; she had never loved another person as intensely as she loved Samantha Traynor; to think that the specialist would simply toss that love aside in a fit of anger hurt more than she could have believed possible. Xiùlán was completely at a loss about how to proceed; if Sammy wouldn't even speak to her, how could they possibly resolve their differences?

Lieutenant Olivia McKenzie, returned to light duty after recovering from her head injury, had tried to help Xiùlán work through her heartbreak, until Xiùlán made her feelings known in no uncertain terms—it was her personal life, and as long as her job performance didn't suffer, she wasn't interested in talking about it with anybody.

"You can't do this alone, Yuán," McKenzie pleaded. "You need to vent … tell someone what you're feeling inside."

Xiùlán's expression was a bit daunting; she barely opened her mouth, as if to speak any louder would create fractures in her porcelain complexion. "There's nothing to talk about, Olivia. Samantha has made that quite clear, and I don't know how to get through to her."

"If you truly are unable to speak with her, how do you know there's nothing to talk about?" Olivia was having a difficult time understanding Yuán's motivation. "I don't know what you're going through, Xiùlán, but don't you think Sammy is going through the same thing?"

"Sammy hasn't been attempting to get in touch with me, Lieutenant. I've texted … repeatedly. I've called at every free moment. She's changed her residence, and she didn't bother to place a forwarding ident on her previous comms system."

McKenzie placed a gentle hand on an upper arm. "I can see she's hurt you … worse than anything you've ever had to endure." Olivia gently stroked the muscular upper arm. "That's why you need to talk to someone … you need some help in dealing with this, Xiùlán, or it will eat you alive."

"No! She's completely shut me down, Kenzie … she won't respond to texts, and without a terminal ID, I can't even call her. She knows I'm on the Tokyo, and she knows I'll be taking a weekend here and there on Arcturus. I don't understand what happened. She's done this before, but she's always calmed down and listened to reason." Xiùlán took a sip of tea from the mug she had cupped in her hands. "She's unhappy there's a reprimand in her jacket—a black mark—basically stating that she doesn't work well with others, but that's only because she beat Kelsey Winters half to death, and then only after the woman took a shot at her."

By this time, Olivia had guided Xiùlán to a table in the rear corner of the small dining area for this section's officers mess. Having Yuán sit with her back to the rest of the compartment, McKenzie quickly brought her a mug of tea, than sat across from her and asked, "Why did Winters attempt to kill Traynor?"

"Telling you the entire story would put me in violation of the NDA I signed before I received my commission—you had to sign one as well, so you know what I'm talking about—even Captain Anderson couldn't get any traction with General Park when he attempted to gain some insight into my capabilities." Xiùlán heaved a heavy sigh as she thought back to that day. "Traynor gained a really nice promotion from the deal—as did I—but she was pissed at Alliance brass for giving Cerberus a free pass."

"Cerberus? What the hell does a black-ops group have to do with Traynor … or you?"

"Sammy discovered that Winters works for Cerberus, Olivia. Probably why she's so damned touchy. Cerberus was responsible for the death of Heather Gonzales on Mars, and they have operatives on Arcturus Station, all dressed up in Alliance uniforms; Sammy found out the hard way … Michael Moser Lang tracked her to Arcturus. She had one of her blades against his throat … actually drew blood." Yuán smirked at that. "I am so damned proud of her."

"Sounds like you still love her, Xiùlán."

Closing her eyes, she fought the urge to cry for her loss. "Ancestors take pity on me, but … I do still love her, Olivia, so very much, and despite what she's done, I would lay down my life for her in an instant … without a second thought. She means the world to me, and …" Yuán's voice hitched as tears managed to escape their captivity past tightly closed eyelids.

Olivia placed a hand over Xiùlán's, only to have it grabbed in a near vise-like grip. "I told her a long time ago I didn't think I could bear losing her …" she sniffled. "Damned if it doesn't look like I'm gonna discover the truth in that vow." She clenched her free hand into a fist and placed her knuckles hard against her mouth in an attempt to stifle her anguish.

Olivia had never seen anyone so distressed over what seemed to be a failed relationship, and was uncertain of what to say or do to help her friend. "I don't have any words for you, Xiùlán … I wish I could convince you that everything will work out." She continued to hold Yuán's hand as the distraught woman silently wept. After several minutes of this, McKenzie rose and coaxed Yuán to her feet, saying, "Come on. Let's go for a walk, get some air."

Yuán managed to regain enough control over her emotions to say she needed to use the head; Olivia walked with her to the unit next to their shared quarters. "You okay to manage without my assistance?" came the smiling question.

The corners of Xiùlán's mouth turned up slightly at that. "I just need to wash my face, Kenzie. I'll be fine."

McKenzie nodded as she released the woman's hand. "Then I'll wait for you here."

• SSV TOKYO · IERA, SHADOW SEA •

Xiùlán, having temporarily placed her problems with Sammy in the back of her mind—at least until she could get back to the shipyard for a personal visit—spent the following eight weeks splitting her daily time learning everything she could about celestial navigation, and all there was to know about piloting a UT-47 shuttlecraft. Commander Nolan, her immediate supervisor, stressed at the beginning of her navigation classes that one could not rely on a ship's navicomputer always being accurate; insofar as the shuttle was concerned, she learned—through piloting a simulator—how to fly the craft through a planet's atmosphere with various weather conditions tossed into the mix, along with severe weather situations to avoid. Part of her navigation classes overlapped her piloting classes, enabling Yuán to seamlessly apply one set of skills towards the other.

Knowing how to set a course and follow it using only observation and dead reckoning was an invaluable skill. The examples she was given generally began with being marooned in a shuttlecraft with limited fuel reserves. Heading off in the wrong direction could mean certain death from any number of causes, not the least of which could be a slow death from either freezing or suffocation, or both, after the fuel ran out.

After spending time working her way through a series of computer generated problems of ever increasing complexity, Commander Nolan felt she was ready to demonstrate her knowledge in a live flight trial – a UT-47 was selected, its navicomputer programmed to fail upon receiving a signal from the Tokyo. Xiùlán would be accompanied by one of her instructors, Lieutenant Brad Hanson, who would simply observe her responses to the problems presented to her; he would be her fail-safe backup as well, a fact she was made aware of before they left the ship.

She was tasked with flying from the Tokyo to the frigate Hong Kong, one of the five ships accompanying the cruiser on its patrol route; coincidentally, the Hong Kong was the ship on which she and Sammy had been posted for their school missions to the Dis System in early 2180. It made Xiùlán happy to know that Captain Jaclyn Mosley was still in command.

Thinking of her mission with Sammy in the Dis System brought a pang of sadness to Xiùlán—it was on the planet Klensal that she had been brought face-to-face with Sammy's mortality after they were captured by batarian slavers—she quickly put those awful memories aside in order to concentrate on the task at hand.

After performing the required pre-flight inspection, she climbed in the craft and strapped herself into the pilot's seat; Hanson was already strapped into the copilot's seat, using a datapad to take notes. She smirked slightly as she asked, "Keeping score, Lieutenant?"

"Of course … including nonsense questions from a snarky student pilot," came the smiling reply, causing Yuán's grin to quickly evaporate.

Okay, so that's the way it's gonna be … Without another word, Xiùlán began powering up systems; once the eezo core was online, she requested an exit vector from the Tokyo's hanger controller. After cross-checking the data sent to the navicomputer from the controller, she fired the ventral thrusters to bring the craft off the deck as she used the fore and aft thrusters to maintain her relative position. After a final check of her systems, she increased aft thrust slightly and eased the UT-47 out of the hanger bay.

Once flying free outside the Tokyo, she locked the inertial data sensors on her target and allowed the navicomputer to set the shuttle on an intercept course with the Hong Kong; the frigate was currently positioned about 10 kilometers ahead and to the starboard side of the cruiser, but Captain Mosley was free to randomly vary her relative position as much as she wished. Normally, the shuttle's navicomputer would make continuous course corrections to compensate for the continuously changing course and velocity of its target; today, alarms began sounding within a minute of Yuán's departure from the Tokyo.

She quickly assumed manual control of the craft while she worked her way through the diagnostics; she discovered a simulated power failure had rendered two of the three inertial data sensors non-functional. She could still reach the Hong Kong, but she'd be flying with only a third of the information normally needed to successfully navigate in three dimensions.

After declaring an emergency—standard procedure for any problem involving the navigational systems on a spacecraft—she continued on towards her destination. The shuttle still had a sensor lock on the Hong Kong, enabling Xiùlán to manually control her course; although her course corrections were slightly more abrupt than those made by the computer, she felt certain she'd be able to get them to the frigate in one piece.

As she approached within a kilometer of the Hong Kong, the master computer dropped its final problem in Xiùlán's lap—it randomly cut power to all four main thrusters and the ventral thrusters, causing the shuttle to begin gently rolling and tumbling. Xiùlán cursed under her breath as she opened her comms. "Hong Kong … Hong Kong … Shuttle Tokyo has suffered a total loss of powered directional control and is rolling and tumbling on a collision course. Take immediate evasive action … repeat, immediate evasive. We will attempt a restart once we're clear."

"Acknowledged, Shuttle Tokyo. Initiating course and speed change. Hong Kong will shadow you until you have regained control."

Lieutenant Hanson, silently observing his student as she responded to this emergency, asked, "Do you require any assistance, Lieutenant?"

Xiùlán's response actually surprised him, as few students had the stomach for what Yuán was attempting to do. "I believe I can regain control of this thing, Mr Hanson … just need a few minutes to concentrate."

The lieutenant, sitting in front of a duplicate control panel, placed his hands together in his lap as he interlaced his fingers and replied, "You have the ship, Lieutenant."

In order to regain control of the wildly gyrating shuttle, she would have to turn off the artificial gravity generator so she could feel the shuttle moving around her. "Brace yourself, Lieutenant. This won't be pleasant." With that, she disconnected the power couplings to the grav-gen and turned off the the inertial dampeners; this caused her stomach to lurch as she immediately felt the gyrations of the unguided coffin in which she was riding.

Bringing up a set of controls rarely seen, much less used on modern UT-47s, she placed her hands on either end of the glowing band and began touching control input points in a seemingly random sequence. Eyes closed to visual distractions, she seemingly entered into a trance-like state, her fingers unerringly playing with the inputs. Each time she touched and released a control node, a small reaction control thruster at one of the eight corners of the shuttle would fire; there were three nozzles at each corner, twenty-four nozzles total. As Xiùlán played the control unit, the tiny thrusters gradually overcame the shuttle's rolling and tumbling about. When she finally opened her eyes, it was to study the attitude direction display for roll, pitch and yaw, which were all virtually stationary—she only needed to correct for a slight amount of roll—which she was able to do with three final taps on two control nodes.

With the shuttle's stability restored, Xiùlán pulled up a Haptic diagnostic panel and began back-tracing the failures; concentrating on the diag-tree for a few moments led her to realize a system restart was all that was needed to regain flight controls. After reconnecting the grav-gen power couplings and reenergizing the inertial dampeners, she left her seat and stood to reach the circuit breakers for the main flight computer; after pressing the resets on each one in turn, she retook her seat and buckled her flight harness before reaching over to her left to restart the flight computer. Holding her breath, she re-powered the eezo containment field, applied power to the forward main thrusters and brought the shuttle to a virtual standstill.

Touching her com-link, she called the Hong Kong to report she had regained control of the shuttle and would like permission to park in the hanger bay, to which the frigate's XO replied, "Nice work, Lieutenant Yuán. Transmitting an approach vector … Hong Kong standing by for recovery."

Lieutenant Hanson asked, "Why not study the diag-tree before regaining attitude control of the shuttle?"

"It seemed more of a danger to allow the shuttle to continue careening through space. I wasn't sure if restarting the system would enable me to regain attitude control. I felt the safer course was to regain flight stability before tracing and correcting the problem."

"Why disconnect artificial gravity and inertial dampeners?"

"Only way I could feel what the shuttle was doing … how it was moving. I would have never been able to catch it if I'd relied on the attitude direction display … damned thing responds too slowly … it would have had me chasing my ass all over space. Now, I just have to fly to the Hong Kong using manual controls and we should be fine."

"We still need to see how you do without inertial navigation sensors operational, but having the main computer disconnected from the flight controls presented its own set of problems, which you managed to overcome quite handily," Hanson said. "Remaining calm in the face of multiple failures is the key to staying alive out here. You did well."

Xiùlán allowed herself a slight smile as she energized the virtual viewport above the instrument and controls console; the view of the Hong Kong grew gradually closer, until she handed off control to the ship's VI for final entry and parking in the hanger bay. Releasing her harness as the craft grounded on the deckplates, she heard, "Welcome aboard," through the comms speakers. Shutting down and locking the flight controls, she stood, stretched and moved to the side hatch. "If it's okay, I'd like to say hello to Captain Mosley before we return to the cruiser … I know her from when I was in a special vocational school."

Hanson, having just finished entering info into his ever-present datapad, looked up and replied with a grin, "Go ahead, Lieutenant … just … don't take too long. I still have a bunch more flight trials ready for you, once the ground crew completes the standard ground service and refuel."

• SSV TOKYO · NEWTON, KEPLER VERGE •

Nine weeks after Samantha Traynor had abruptly disconnected from a comms call with Xiùlán, the staff lieutenant was so immersed in her work and studies there was little time to think about, much less regret, the rift that had come between them. Xiùlán sent a text to Sammy's omnitool every night before falling into exhausted sleep in her rack. After two weeks of diligent searching every chance she got, she had finally managed to discover Traynor's terminal ID in her new quarters at the Alliance Shipyard; although she didn't expect Sammy to answer, she still placed a call every four to five days.

When Olivia McKenzie asked why she persisted in the face of such rejection, Xiùlán responded with a sad smile. "I still love her, Kenzie, and until we can meet in person … until she looks me in the eye … tells me to my face she never wants anything to do with me again, I will continue to message her and continue attempting to call her."

"A lot of people would have simply given up and moved on after this much time."

"I'm not other people, Kenzie. She hasn't blocked my omnitool, and she hasn't blocked the Tokyo's comms ID, so she must still have some feelings for me, good, bad or indifferent." Xiùlán's expression was unreadable as she added, "We've been to hell and back together, a couple of times. That's not something easily forgotten."

Olivia persisted. "There's still the little matter of a broken heart, Xiùlán … something that's not easy to mend."

Xiùlán eyes narrowed in determination as her lips tightened into a thin line. "I won't give up until I can meet with her. Having hope that our relationship can be mended is the only thing that keeps me going, Kenzie … It's all I have left."

Eleven years had passed since the Systems Alliance established the first dish field on Ontarom; the facility had grown into a crucial communications hub for the Alliance in the ensuing years. The Tokyo and its accompanying frigates established a geo-synced orbit above the comms array in preparation for sending replacements down for the nearby Marine garrison.

Although the Tokyo was too large to land on the planet, her accompanying frigates had no such restriction; the Hong Kong and the Coral Sea would land with replacement troops, then return with Marines being rotated off their ground assignments; the Anzio, Jutland and Luzon would remain in orbit on overwatch with the Tokyo.

Unlike their previous deployment of replacement troops on Eden Prime, the troop transfer here was several orders of magnitude greater, which meant that setting the frigates down on the planet's surface was a much more economical method of accomplishing the task.

Once the first two frigates returned to orbit, the Luzon and Jutland would make their landings, completing the transfer of fresh troops to what many perceived as a plum assignment—the civilian populous were quite friendly to the military, unlike many other settlements where being deployed for any length of time was a chore to be endured.

The returning Marines would be ferried over to the Tokyo, where there was much more room to house and feed them. To this end, shuttles from each frigate and a pair of shuttles from the cruiser would perform transfer duty, ferrying over ten people on each trip; Xiùlán found herself gaining valuable flight experience as one of the two assigned shuttle pilots.

After making several trips with Lieutenant Hanson sitting in the co-pilot's seat, he exited the shuttle with the comment, "Carry on, Lieutenant Yuán." She was on her own.

• ARCTURUS STATION AND SHIPYARD · AT LARGE •

The Tokyo's accompanying frigates docked with the station while the cruiser stood off a short distance away. Xiùlán had asked permission to visit Traynor at the shipyard, which had been granted with the condition she could not visit the yard itself—she'd be confined to the habitat module for the duration of her stay.

The problem she had now was getting Sammy to request an additional day off so she could have three days in a row instead of two. Of course, that was based on Sammy still wishing to be her Inamorata, something Xiùlán prayed was still the case. Xiùlán checked the work schedule at the electronics division of the yard, and was thrilled to discover that Traynor's shift was nearly done for the day.

Waiting in the small park-like open area near Traynor's apartment, she had a good view of the entrance to her residential block. Waiting for Sammy to arrive, she thought about all the things she wanted to say—things she needed to say—in order to get both of them past this misunderstanding. She was convinced that Traynor would at least hear her out.

After what seemed an eternity to Xiùlán, she spotted the familiar figure of Sammy walking towards the residential block. Yuán rose from the bench on which she had been sitting and moved to intercept Sammy at the outer door; Traynor caught sight of her as she drew within a few meters of the main hatch. Xiùlán, in spite of having practiced her greeting over and over in her mind, found her throat constricting with emotion as she squeaked out, "Hello, Sà mi."

Traynor turned to face her as she tentatively approached. "Xiùlán … What are you doing here?" Sam's voice, while not cold, did not sound exactly welcoming, either.

"I …" her voice hitched as tears filled her eyes. "I came to see you … to speak with you, Sà mi. Qing? [請？- Please?] It's been nearly three months since your last call."

Traynor stood still, hands on her hips as she studied the forlorn woman standing in front of her. Finally making up her mind, she walked over to stand within an arm's reach of this person that had once meant more to her than anything. "You shattered my heart, Xiùlán. I can accept being treated badly by most anyone, anytime, except when it's coming from the woman I loved with every fiber of my being." Traynor crossed her arms over her chest as she added, "You know I would gladly die for you, Yuán. So, what happened? Why in 'ell would you treat me like some ignorant child?"

Xiùlán hadn't expected to be welcomed back with open arms, but Sammy's words had a terrible bite to them. "I … oh, God, Sà mi." In a voice thick with raw emotion, she breathed, "Wo ài ni, Sà màn shā … [我愛你,薩曼莎 - I love you, Samantha] I am so sorry that I hurt you." Xiùlán hesitantly brought an arm up; holding out her open hand, she pleaded, "Would you throw away everything we have just because I spoke harshly to you one time?"

Traynor, after glancing at the outstretched hand, pointedly ignored its presence … causing Xiùlán to slowly lower it back to her side. "Okay, then …" she gasped. "I guess I'll go back to the transient docks, see if I can hitch a ride back to the Tokyo." She hugged her middle with both arms, as if she was suffering physical pain. "I am sorry to have bothered you, Samantha. I really believed we had a special bond, a bond that would stand up to occasional disagreements, but it seems I was mistaken." Voice hitching, she squeaked out, "If you truly don't love me anymore, I will leave …" Turning around, she slowly walked back the way she had come, passing by the bench where she had waited for Sam to come home.

Traynor had tried her damnedest to harden her heart, to wall off her feelings for the woman slowly walking away like some kind of broken simulacrum. Good riddance, came the thought, as Xiùlán got further away, finally disappearing into the gloom of the access passage to the docks. What the 'ell did she think … that all she fuckin' needed to do would be to just show up here and I'd fall all over myself to forgive her? Sammy continued to think about Xiùlán's last words as she walked towards the entrance to her residential block.

• SSV TOKYO, 2 KILOMETERS FROM ARCTURUS STATION •

Olivia McKenzie had just finished her shift and was ready for some well-deserved downtime as she entered the compartment she shared with Xiùlán. She fully expected to have the space to herself, as the lieutenant had gone ashore to see Specialist Traynor. That she'd find Xiùlán in her rack, back turned to the hatch, was the last thing she expected. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she placed a hand on an upper arm as she quietly said her name. Asking, "What the hell, Yuán? Why are you back so soon?"

The woman turned a tear-streaked face towards Olivia and whimpered in a voice filled with pain, "She sent me away, Kenzie … I apologized … begged for forgiveness … told her I love her. She wouldn't even talk to me." After haltingly repeating the words Traynor had said to her, Xiùlán turned back towards the bulkhead as her shoulders began shaking in grief. "I don't know how I'm going to live, Kenzie. How can I keep going when the woman who owns me, heart and soul, has cast me away? I don't have any reason to live. She saved my life … saved me, got me to safety, only to do this? I wish she had left me to die on that miserable station …"

McKenzie was flabbergasted. She knew Traynor, of course … knew she was a hotheaded individual, but if what Yuán had said was true, then the specialist had developed an unbelievably cruel and callous attitude to someone extremely close to her. Standing in the middle of the compartment, she thought about what she could do to help. She finally decided to place a call to Traynor, see if she could make her see reason. Determined, she walked out of the small compartment and closed the hatch so Xiùlán would not overhear the ensuing conversation; if Traynor had become so damned vindictive, Olivia had no intention of being even remotely gentle.

Looking up Sammy's comms address was easy—all she had to do was check the terminal for sent messages from Xiùlán; as the only person the lieutenant had ever tried to contact was Traynor, it was an easy task. Olivia placed the call and waited.

• ARCTURUS SHIPYARD · SPECIALIST TRAYNOR'S RESIDENCE •

The trill from the comms unit drew the disgruntled specialist from her small kitchen to see the ident tag for the Tokyo on the comm unit, but it was not followed by Xiùlán's personal ID. She must be having trouble getting a flight back if they are looking for her here. A niggling fear caused another thought to sneak into her mind before she answered the call. I wasn't exactly thrilled by her showing up on my doorstep without warning, but I hope nothing's happened to her. Guilt clawing at her gut, she quickly keyed the unit to accept the call. "Specialist Traynor. Can I help you?"

"Yes, you can! You can shut up and listen to me … as a friend to both Xiùlán and you!"

Caught off guard, Traynor blurted out the query without thinking. "Who in 'ell is this?" The last thing she had expected was for an irate voice to come blasting out of the comms before the picture had a chance to resolve into an identifiable person.

"This is Lieutenant Olivia McKenzie, and I can't believe you! You said you could accept being treated badly by most anyone, anytime, except when it's coming from the woman you loved … Loved! As in past tense!" Traynor started to say something, only to have McKenzie roughly cut her off. "What part of shut up didn't you hear, Specialist? You need to keep your goddamned mouth closed and listen to me, or you're gonna lose the best person that's ever happened to you!"

She fell silent for a moment to make sure Traynor wasn't going to hang up on her. Satisfied she had the woman's undivided attention, she continued, "I know damned well this isn't the first time Xiùlán has tried to talk to you about your anger issues … only this time, it made you angry because your actions actually got put in your record … and Xiùlán's response was basically, 'I told you so', and you couldn't handle it."

Traynor's eyes opened wide at how much Olivia knew. "I was acting in self-defense!"

"And getting all pissed off about it has done you good how? And then you have the utter damned gall to take it out on Xiùlán because she tried to curb your temper! You know damned good and well she's right … especially after you threw the hissy fit you did and cut all contact … a perfect example of your typical, thoughtless behavior! The very point Xiùlán was trying to make to you is what caused all this stupidity to begin with! I don't know why, but she still loves you, you idiot … and you turning her away like this is ripping her heart out! If your goal was to make her hurt in the same way as you were hurt, you fucking well succeeded, Traynor!"

The expression on McKenzie's face, the disgust and disappointment, spoke volumes more than her words as the lieutenant continued on her rant. "If you can't see the woman for who she is, then Xiùlán is better off without you … assuming all of this doesn't throw her into such a depression that she loses her career. The only thing that's kept her together these past weeks has been her solitary belief that you would take the opportunity to talk to her, face-to-face, so she could explain. All the shit you two went through for one another and you wouldn't even grant her that."

"She surprised me … caught me off guard! I didn't know she was coming!"

"You weren't taking her calls! How the fucking hell was she supposed to ask you if it was okay?" McKenzie's scowl deepened. "If that's the best you've got, then, fuck you, Traynor! Don't bother us again, and I'll make sure Xiùlán pulls through this and doesn't lose her career over the likes of you."

Before Traynor could make some other lame excuse, Olivia reached out and hit the TERMINATE control. She turned away, mumbling to herself, "What a bitch." She glanced at her suite-mate's door and sighed heavily. "Don't you worry, Sister. I got your back on this one … no matter the outcome."

A thoroughly stunned Samantha Traynor sat, face flushed in a mixture of anger and embarrassment, staring at the comms terminal that had been the vehicle for the worst ass-chewing she had ever endured, going all the way back to basic training on Titan. Her mind was reeling … What the hell is Olivia McKenzie doing on the Tokyo, and why is she going to the mat for Xiùlán? Has she discovered that Xiùlán is emotionally vulnerable, is that it? Is she moving in, planning to fill my place once I'm outta the picture?' A wave of jealousy washed over her, followed just as quickly by raging guilt for how she had treated Xiùlán.

The way I acted towards her … was just like a petulant child. Moisture began collecting in her eyes, forcing her to blink rapidly to clear them. I sent her away in the cruelest manner I could think of. What the 'ell is the matter with me?

Traynor began thinking back, remembering how she had met Xiùlán. Was it only ever physical between us? No! She told me she wasn't into one-night stands … told me she wanted to be sure before committing to an ongoing relationship with me. She had never fallen in love before. Slowly moving back to her tiny kitchen, she picked up her now thoroughly cold dinner and dropped it in the recycler. How in the bloody 'ell am I going to fix this? I can't let McKenzie have 'er—not even a chance I'll let that happen. The wave of jealousy rolled over her again, only to evaporate just as quickly. McKenzie isn't the problem! came the thought. It's me … I'm the goddamned problem.

She sat down in astounded realization. I … am the problem. Shit! Traynor activated her omnitool and set it to compose a text.

Xiùlán: I have behaved like a bloody fool. I am so sorry for the way I treated you today. You didn't do anything to deserve that attitude from me, and I am so very sorry. If you can find it in your heart … somewhere … somehow… to forgive me … to give me another chance. I still love you, Xiùlán … I have never stopped loving you. Please … come back to the yard … come stay with me, for an hour or two, if you can, or overnight, if you wish. I will do anything to win you back … just, please. Don't shut me out of your life. Send me a message … or call me. I'll wait to hear back from you. 沒有你的愛我的生活是不完整的! You will always have my heart, my love.

It took her thirty-five minutes to look up and carefully enter the Hanzi characters that were tattooed across the top of her bum; the meaning, 'Without your love my life is not complete!' was in jeopardy of becoming a hauntingly true statement … one she would carry to her grave! She read the message through several times. Punching in Yuán's extranet address, she took a deep breath … and clicked SEND.

• SSV TOKYO, 2 KILOMETERS FROM ARCTURUS STATION •

In the women's officer's living spaces, an omnitool on the wrist of a Staff Lieutenant— exhausted and asleep in her rack—came to life, glowing a deep ultraviolet purple. At the small desk by the compartment's entrance hatch, another lieutenant noticed the brief glow with a touch of satisfaction. Olivia McKenzie smiled, thinking, Good! Maybe I scared some sense into that woman. We'll see what happens tomorrow. Rising from her chair, she quickly stripped out of her SDU, pulled on a sleepshirt and climbed into her own rack. Tomorrow promised to be an interesting day.