A/N: To my Confused One reviewer - Alex sees and hears Piper saying she's over the attack and she doesn't want to talk about it. She also gets treated pretty cruelly by Piper at times and she's absorbed an awful lot of that since the attack without biting back. Nicky is encouraging her to let loose and not let Piper walk over her at times in the past too, so Alex is reacting to both of those things by hooking up in the bar (which she only did once because the other time was a dare). She can only deal with what she sees and she doesn't realise how badly damaged Piper is now. Polly is helping with that, but she needs Piper to be more honest before she can see she needs to change and adapt to the new Piper. So, to answer your question - Alex is entitled to be an asshole until she is shown something other than 'I'm fine' or 'screw you' from the object of her affections. Hope that helps and thanks for sticking with the story to try and understand it :-)

Thanks for the overwhelming feedback to make it one long story. I see most other fics finish before 100k, so I don't want you guys getting bored! Thanks to Librarybook, Skullerfly420, Milevalynn, Izzielg and WB79 for the ongoing support. I suspect a few guests are posting a few words regularly too, so thanks guys - you know who you are!

XXXXX

Alex texted Nicky from the back of the cab on her way home from Piper's place to see what she missed last night at the bar. Nicky's replies were just as crude as expected and she was surprised her friend was actually up so early in the morning. They arranged to meet for lunch later to swap stories and Alex headed back to her empty apartment.

She opened the door and tossed her keys on the breakfast bar, sighing when she realised there was next to nothing in the fridge again. She got changed into some skinny jeans and a chunky knit sweater and headed out to do some grocery shopping while she had time on her hands. When she got back with an arm full of groceries in front of her, Nicky was sitting on her front step.

"Er, hello. I thought we weren't meeting until later?" Alex fumbled to hold the groceries against the wall while she looked for her keys.

"Well, I thought I'd surprise you. Since I was in the area and all….."

"OK…that means you didn't go home last night…which means you were in someone else's home…Lucy lives around here?" She pushed the door open with her hip and they walked inside.

"She does. Good powers of deduction."

"So you guys have been hooking up a bit lately…is it getting serious?"

"That would be a no."

"A no but you want it to be yes or Lucy wants it to be yes and you aren't moving from no?"

"That's way complicated for this hour for me to understand. It's a no, it isn't getting serious and it's a mutual no."

Alex dropped the grocery bags onto the counter and shrugged her coat off. "OK, are you seeing her again?"

"That's a pretty certain no at this point. Put it this way… I said we couldn't go back to my place because I let Taystee use it to entertain her boyfriend last night. Too kind, right?"

"Absolutely." Alex started to put the groceries away as Nicky sat on the kitchen top, swinging her legs back and forth and banging her heels against Alex's kitchen units. "But what does Taystee have to do with anything?"

"I'm getting to that. So…she says we can't go to her place either because she's redecorating. I was all 'screw that, I don't care about a few dust sheets' and she says OK, but she has to call the decorator to make sure he left the key under the mat…."

Alex stopped what she was doing and raised her eyebrow at Nicky now.

"I know. I was drunk, what can I say?! So….she goes outside, makes a call. Comes back and says we're all systems go. We get a cab to her place, I'm rubbing my hands – well, thighs- together at this point…."

"Go on…why do I get a funny feeling about the decorator here?"

"We get inside her place, I'm not exactly looking at the interior design at this point and she's running around closing doors while she pulls me to the bedroom. Then I start to look around a bit and notice no signs of a decorator at all. 'Nevermind' I think and ask if she's got any beers. 'Wait here' she says and she disappears, leaving me sitting on the bed. I wait half an hour and she's not back, so I lie down and fall asleep while I'm waiting. The next thing I know, there's a guy storming through the apartment shouting 'where is he?' and Lucy running behind him like a rabbit in the headlights."

"Ah. I think I might have worked out the ending here….but tell me anyway."

"Totally. So for the last –oooh 8 hours- I've been cousin Nicky from out of town looking for a place to crash after a party in the city. I slept in the spare room and had to endure a torturous cooked breakfast from the guy this morning by way of an apology for waking up a very welcome guest. He kissed me on the cheek on the way out and said I must call round again when I'm in town."

Alex was holding her stomach laughing at this point and Nicky flipped her off.

"It's not fucking funny Vause. That was a good booty call I had going there. Turns out it's only available when 'Max' is working out of town."

"Aw, man. You are comedy gold Nicholls. Pure comedy gold." The taller woman wiped her eyes as she threw Nicky a bottle of water and opened one for herself.

"So, do I win the contest for shittiest start to 2016 already?"

"Um, maybe. My start wasn't nearly as funny, but shitty all the same."

Alex told her what happened last night from the point she got the call from Polly to her leaving this morning before Piper's family were due to arrive.

"Christ. You think she just had a bit more to drink than she thought or was actually trying to do some harm to herself there?"

"I don't think it was a cry for help. Like, maybe it was her trying to forget stuff. We can understand that, right? Different drug, same intentions?"

"I guess. But what was she trying to forget?"

"I'm not exactly convinced I even know. I know she raged at me yesterday for trying to give her advice she didn't want, so I guess she feels like she hasn't got control over things as much as she wants. Piper has always gone off the deep end with stuff – she's either all in or all out or totally on the fence. She doesn't test the water before she commits or runs and it's just more extreme than I ever remember now. Turns out I was actually a total dick about it because I took the 'screw you' attitude and went out drinking with you, Hell bent on some sort of stupid revenge for her telling me to fuck off."

"And now you feel shit about it because she was home alone drinking her way to a pickled liver."

"Pretty much. And Holly verbally slapped me for it last night. She warned me Piper could be in trouble and once again my attitude was to shrug my shoulders and carry on drinking….When I saw her like that last night Nick…my blood ran cold that the last conversation I ever had with her could have been that argument. And it was stupid. Over something totally stupid."

"But you're OK now right?"

"No. I mean, we're OK in that we're not arguing. I'm worried that she's not telling me the whole story though and I can only react based on what I know, so I've gone from caring and understanding to 'screw you' in the space of 24 hours because I've not been patient enough to put up with her ranting at me. I think I need to grit my teeth a bit until I know what's really going on….Does that even make any sense? God, I feel so ill equipped to deal with this."

"Kinda….Can't that chick from the VSU help? She's good at doing the touchy-feely talking about stuff from what I saw."

"I get the impression Piper isn't taking those sessions seriously. Do you think she could help?"

"Yeah, I'm sure of it."

Nicky jumped down from the counter top and slapped Alex on the back.

"You'll get there in the end champ. Is this where I'm supposed to hug you?"

Alex laughed. "No. I don't want you anywhere near my hips with your sex starved face. Stay back you animal." Alex threw her a Vause eyebrow.

"Your loss. So, speaking of my starved face, are we going to get something to eat or do I have to go and see my new BFF Max and see if he can rustle up something tasty?"

"Good idea. Shall we call at your place so you can change first though? You smell like a weird mix of waffles and beer, neither of which I'm fancying for lunch."

Nicky sniffed her armpits. "I'm sure it's a new line from PoPi….I'll be sure to give blondie your feedback on that. I think it might cost you a box of chocolates though…"

Alex threw the kitchen towel at her and moved to grab her coat.

XXXXX

Piper enjoyed spending the day with Cal and getting to know Neri a little better without their Mother there to wind them both up. She could see that Neri's influence was good for her little brother. She injected the right amount of purpose and direction to his creative thinking to make it into action and he was really getting things done around their home now to make them more independent and self-sufficient in the woods. They didn't buy anything from the art show because Neri frowned at the plastic. It was all well and good recycling, but the furniture would take centuries to break down and they preferred a more traditional look with wood. Piper had no such reservations and bought a piece of framed art for Alex's wall that was made out of melded portal window glass. She hoped that Alex would like it and decided to put it in the store if the brunette already had a different style in mind.

After saying goodbye to Cal and Neri, Piper collapsed onto her sofa with her laptop to catch up on the news and relax for a while. It felt good to be on her own for a change and she enjoyed the silence that was only disturbed by the sound of her scrolling and typing. After doing a little online shopping for the right parts that she needed to hang the new artwork, she started looking at what people were selling online to compete with PoPi's products. The prices were similar to what PoPi were charging for their products, but they weren't locally produced or standing for the same environmental ethics as their production methods for what she could see. They already had a good logistics company contact to make setting up an online shop an option and she was excited by the potential for growing the business from the storeroom and internet essentially. It was late by the time she finished noting her findings and she made a sandwich for her dinner with a cup of tea. She was tempted to throw the bottle of unopened wine that was in her fridge away as it and her stomach turn at the moment. Polly would be horrified at the waste, so she took put it in the cupboard for the moment and out of sight before heading to bed for the night. She got washed and changed into PJs, plugging her phone in to charge by the bed before climbing in. As soon as she laid down in the bed she could smell Alex on the pillow and her stomach flipped as she had momentarily forgotten about the brunette sleeping with her last night. It had been nice to share a bed again with someone and Alex's body was still frighteningly familiar to her that she had slept soundly, even if it was only a few hours. She remembered how it felt to wake up being held by Alex and the warmth of snuggling next to her before Polly had woken her up. Feeling a little guilty at how quickly she'd practically shoved Alex out of her home before Cal arrived, she reached for her phone to send her a quick text.

'Hey. Just wanted to say thanks again for staying last night. It was nice to wake up with you. x'

A few minutes passed before her phone beeped with a reply and Piper picked it up straight away.

'Hey yourself. I'd like to say the same, but your morning breath ruined the moment.'

Piper was already texting a protest back when another message beeped in from Alex.

';-)'

'To be fair, it wasn't like I was planning on entertaining anyone in my bed last night.'

'But you were very entertaining all the same.'

'Are you in bed now?'

'No. Were you planning on sexting me? Nicky is here and she'll want to join in. It might get weird if two of us are in the same room.'

'Alex! No! I just wondered is all.'

'Are you in bed?'

'Yeah.'

'What are you wearing?'

'I'm not doing this.'

'I haven't told you to do anything….yet ;-)'

'Goodnight Alex, and say goodnight to Nicky for me too. ;-) x'

'Night. x'

Piper smiled and rolled across to sleep on the pillow that Alex lay on last night before closing her eyes.

XXXXX

Her VSU appointment wasn't until 10, so Piper had time to lie in bed this morning and snooze. Despite knowing this, she was still wide awake at 8am and unable to will her eyes to stay closed for long enough to drop back to sleep. She texted Polly to let her know she should be at the store around lunch time and would pick up something to eat for them both on her way in. Showering and changing into some moleskin pants and a white shirt, Piper dried her hair and curled it before applying some light make-up. If she was going to convince Sarah from the VSU that she was well enough to get the all clear from Dr Shetty, she thought she ought to look fresh as a daisy.

She flicked the TV on and made some coffee and toast for breakfast now her hunger had started to kick in. There was a clear blue sky outside and it was perfect running weather, which made her wonder how long it would take to be able to get back to her fitness levels before the attack. There was no way she would be running any time soon, given the pain she had been in when she tried the other night.

Just before 10, she heard a car pull up outside and looked through the window to see Sarah getting her files ready in the car. She quickly ran to brush her teeth again and was wiping her mouth when Sarah knocked lightly on the door.

"Good morning! Please come on in."

"Hi Piper. Thanks. Happy New Year to you!"

"Yes, Happy New Year! Take a seat wherever you like. Can I get you a coffee before we start?"

"Just some water will be fine thatnks, I'm trying to cut back. New year, new start and all that." She smiled genuinely.

"Good idea, I think I'll join you in that actually. Can't do any harm for my blood pressure to cut down on the caffeine I guess." Piper went to fill a couple of tall glasses with ice and water as Sarah unpacked her files and set her notepad to the side to check her notes from last time.

"So, did you have a good new year break then Sarah?" The blonde asked as she sat down and handed the glass of water over.

"Thanks. Yeah, it was family stuff really. Nice to see everyone, but just as nice when they leave you in peace too if you know what I mean. How about you? Did you see family?"

"I know exactly what you mean. No, decided to stay home this year. I've kinda had my fill of them already with the stint in hospital, so I made my excuses to stay home."

"Ah, OK. Did you see friends then?"

"Er, yeah. Just a quiet New Year's Eve in with a select group really."

"Sounds perfect. So….Just looking at my notes from the last time we met….You're still under daytime supervision according to my notes, pending the outcome of this second session I think?"

"Yes, I want to get an appointment with Dr Shetty soon after this so I can get the all clear. It's kind of driving me mad to be followed around all the time and I think my friend Polly is struggling to look after the store full time as well while I'm off. I've started going back to the store during the day to help out a bit with tidying up as that counts as supervised right?"

"It does, as long as you're not doing too much. Your body will let you know when you are though. How are your headaches?"

"Fine. No problem at all now."

"You've not had any headaches at all since you came off the pain relief then?"

Piper thought about the pain meds she had taken on New Year's Eve to try and get rid of her headache and dismissed it is stress related. "Nope, nothing at all to worry about there."

"Wow, that's really good…Last time we met, we talked about you dealing with your anger to let it out instead of bottling it up. Have you given that some thought?"

"In what way?"

"Well, have you had any cause to get angry since we last met?"

Piper didn't want to go through what happened between her and Alex. She was already acutely aware of every time Sarah was taking notes about what she was saying and she didn't want to look like a complete head-case with yet another story or emotional chaos to add to the novel Sarah had in a pile next to her.

"No. I mean, I always get a little angry about Kevin's parents leaving him at home when they leave for the airport in Home Alone, but I don't need to rage and punch anything if that's what you mean." She smiled, showing all of her white teeth and how super-relaxed she was right now.

Sarah chuckled at her joke and made a quick note. "Good. Have you thought about what you might do if you did get angry – say you watched Home Alone a LOT?"

"Well, I might switch the TV off as a start." Piper smiled, but she could see that Sarah wasn't going to settle for that as a way of closing the subject and tried to quickly think of something that might placate her.

"Well I'm a runner really and that's what I'd prefer to be doing to work things out in my head. So I guess until I can get back to that, I'd have to say walking?" Piper hadn't meant it to sound quite so much like a question when she said it, so she quickly reaffirmed it as a decision already made. "Yeah, walking - for like, as long as it takes to get that anger out."

"Great, that sounds perfect. You must have some nice places around here to do that too. Do you have someone to go with you?"

"Um, like someone who is looking after me?"

"Not exactly, more like….someone to talk things over with while you walk. Do you have a boyfriend or a friend who you can call?"

"No, well yes. I mean, no I don't have a boyfriend but yes, I have a friend I can call - Polly. But she's at the store during the week, like I will be this week hopefully. I kinda prefer my own space anyway when I'm exercising…..So, is everything OK? Do I get the all clear?"

"Not so fast I'm afraid. Have you thought about the attack recently?"

"Ugh. No. I don't want to think about it. I'll have to do that plenty when they start building the case properly. For now, I just want to focus on the future and getting back to normal."

"Piper…you said in one of our earlier meetings that you'd been attacked before – while you were in prison I think. Do you want to talk about that?"

The blonde sighed and stuffed her hands beneath her thighs to prevent her from balling them into fists and appearing angry.

"To be honest, no I don't. It's completely unrelated to this and I don't want to be dragging all of that up again while I still have this damned case to work through. I only have so much headspace and there's not enough to bring that back up."

"Piper…..I think we have to consider whether that event is compounding your feelings over the attack in December. If you won't talk about it I-"

"I will. I'll talk about it. Just tell Dr Shetty to give me the all clear first so I can get some independence back please? I'll go crazy if I don't get some alone time." Piper turned on the full Bambi eyes charm in the hope of winning her over.

"Was the attack in prison investigated Piper?"

"No… It wasn't necessary…. It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't been incarcerated, but it wasn't something to put on record, let me put it that way."

"Was it an attack from another prisoner Piper?"

Piper was quiet for a while as she considered possible repercussions of this conversation. "Yes. But it got sorted out without reporting it. Sometimes that's the best way in there you know."

"What happened? Can you tell me?"

"It's really nothing. Just scuffles in the showers, schoolyard bullying really. It happens in there so people assert themselves in a pecking order. You don't want to be at the bottom, so you have to have some backbone, but the right amount. Honestly, it's non-sensical to anyone out here. Some woman was giving me hassle and I told the guards, she didn't like that and she beat on me in the showers when I wasn't expecting it. I learned not to go telling tales, so it was an important lesson, but one I couldn't learn with friendly advice apparently."

"Is that the whole story?"

"Well, it's abridged. But the storyline, characters and ending are the same." Piper smiled and reached for a drink of water.

"Well, thanks for sharing that with me. Maybe we can pick it up again next time. For now I think we've used our time well. It's been a good session today Would you agree?"

"Yeah, sure. When are we meeting next?"

"How about next Monday?"

"Suits me. Same time?"

"Sure." Sarah put the notes in her file and added the appointment in her phone as Piper moved the glasses to wash up while Sarah gathered her things.

She saw the redheaded woman to the door and thanked her from her time. Sarah told her she'd send a report to Dr Shetty this afternoon and they'd talk again next week. Piper nodded attentively and smiled when the thread of the conversation demanded it, but her thoughts were on getting the door closed so she could breathe again. Finally she waved Sarah off in her car and she pressed the door closed before sliding down the back of it. Why was it so difficult to get people to do what she wanted without always having to answer 101 questions? She absolutely wanted to keep all memories of that attack in prison under wraps and Sarah seemed determined to drag them to the surface. She had to give her something to seem willing to share so that she would send a positive report back to the hospital, but she needed to head any further questions away next time to close the lid again.