AN- The reviews I am getting on this are amazing! I can't thank you enough! It just gives me the inspiration to keep on writing! Thank you again!
The Fosters
Lena had managed to turn on the shower once she had entered her bathroom, but as she waited for it to warm up she found her legs beginning to shake. She slowly slid down to the ground wrapping her arms around her legs burying her face into her knees as she let out a sob. Lives were lost that day. Lives of children, of coworker of people she care about. Yet each one of her children had lived and she was so thankful and relieved for that. Yet she felt so guilty. She was still alive. She would still get to watch her children grow. She had coworkers that would never hold their children again. See their spouses hold their grandchildren. "I am so sorry" Lena sobbed as she continued to rock.
"Oh love" Stef's voice cracked as she pushed open the bathroom door and saw Lena. "Oh baby."
"I couldn't save them" Lena cried out as a sob wracked her body "I couldn't save innocent children."
Stef knelt down in front of her placing her hands on Lena's knee caps "You couldn't have saved them."
"But I…"
Stef crawled beside Lena pulling her into her side holding onto her tightly "No, love you have to believe me. There is no way you could have saved them."
"I.."
"Lena, you couldn't have been in every classroom in the school, those kids walked into Anchor Beach this morning with the mind set to kill, and that they did. They didn't give any warning. You couldn't have stopped it" Stef brushed her hand over Lena's "But you did save our daughter's. You did save two lives today."
Tears fell harder "They were my first priority, but I am the vice principal all the kids should have been my priority, my co-workers should have been."
Stef shook her head "You're first job in life is motherhood, nothing is more important than that. Not your job, not my job. You put our children first today. You didn't run out and try to stop three kids from shooting up the school. You focused on saving Mariana and Callie."
Another sob racked Lena's body as she looked at her wife "Part of me feels so guilty that lives were lost and I didn't do anything, and part of me is so happy that I walked out of their today and all my children are under this roof right now. Then I feel awful for thinking that because there are grieving parents tonight."
Stef held on tighter to Lena as she rocked her. "I know love, but those feelings are natural and you're not a horrible person."
"I wish today could be un done" Lena's sobs continued to rack her body for a few more minutes while Stef just held her.
"Let's get you in the shower" Stef whispered into Lena's ear once the sobbing had died down and she was just sniffling. "That will help relax your body a little"
"Callie? Is she okay?"
Stef shook her head "No, but I left her be for a few minutes. She lost it down stairs kind of freaked out. Lost it on Jude. I was going to get you set up in the shower and go check on her."
"She had a traumatic day" Lena nodded as she began to shed her bloody clothes "Saw more than a kid should ever see. That's how it always is for Callie, she can't catch a break."
Stef grabbed some medical tape and a plastic bag to wrap the area Lena had stitches on to keep it from getting wet. "She did have a traumatic day" Stef agreed "But today, she didn't face it alone, today she had her mother. She saw her mother was willing to do anything to keep her alive."
Lena watched Stef wrap her arm and nodded "She was testing me today, before all of this happened, complete teenage fit. Eye rolling, snotty attitude the works. I could see it in her eyes. I was even going to send her home with you today. I had never been more excited to have one of our kids pushing me. I felt it was a break through and then this happened and.."
"Her walls are back up" Stef finished her wife's sentence "We'll get them back down baby" She promised as she patted Lena's arm "You're good to get in the shower. I am going to go wrangle Callie up to get her ready to shower too" She smiled as she leaned in and kissed "Lena's forehead. I love you. I was so scared today"
Lena pulled Stef into her arms and held her tightly for a moment before pushing back "Love you too" She said before she slipped the rest of her clothing off and slipped into the shower.
Stef was about to go when there was a small knock on the bathroom door. "Come in love bug" Stef called knowing who it was.
"Sorry" were the first words out of Callie's mouth as she slipped into the bathroom with her favorite towel in her hands. One they picked up for her on a Target run to get paper for Brandon's project. She had fingered the black and white Eiffel Tower towel that was at the end of a display while Brandon had been grabbing his paper. With a big smile on her face completely obvious she liked the towel. She'd been totally caught by surprise when Lena just walked by and flung the towel in the cart and kept walking. The look of awe and gratitude on the girls face had been burned into Stef's mind. It had been a long time since someone had just got Callie something just because. She didn't have to work for it, or ask for it. It had just been done for her. Callie had been in complete awe. It was a mother moment Stef had been so happy to witness.
"Sweets" She smiled and reached for Callie pulling her into a tight hug. "Cal, I don't think a mother can say this enough to their children. I love you." She pushed Callie back and made eye contact her "More then you know."
"I love you too" Callie said softly as her finger rubbed the bridge of her nose. Her eyes looking so tired. "Oh love" Stef shook her head "Let's get you all cleaned up huh?"
Callie nodded "I just need to get undressed."
"I'll give you some privacy" Stef said turning around allowing the girl to undress and wrap her towel around her small frame. Once she was ready Stef began to wrap and tape Callie's arm just as she had Lena's. "I know today was hard love, so hard that we don't have words for it." She whispered "I wish I could take it away. Make it have never happened, but I can't. What I can do is be here for you. If you want to talk. I can listen. I can snuggle if you need a hug" She said with a smile "And mama she's here too."
Callie nodded but didn't say anything.
Stef watched Callie closely "Can you tell me right now, what is going through your head? Why did you yell at Jude? I am not going to be mad, I am just curious"
The shower stopped Lena having herd, Callie's voice reached her arm out to get her towel to bring it in to the shower. Once she was wrapped in her towel she stepped out her eyes meeting Callie's. "Hi sweetheart."
"I saved you hot water, it feels good I promise."
Callie nodded again as Stef tapped her nose "Go, it's okay sweets, go take a hot shower. It'll help."
Callie nodded going over to the shower she unwrapped herself from the towel "Today is the anniversary of the day my mom died" She said before pulling the shower curtain closed signaling the conversation was over.
Stef winced "Oh gosh"
The hand that Lena wasn't using to hold her towel around her flew over her mouth. "Oh. My. Gosh. Talk about a date being forever engrained as awful in someone's head. Poor Callie."
"Next year on this date, we're taking the kids to Disney World" Stef said seriously while Lena rolled her eyes "Like we could convince Callie to get on a plane? She'd probably freak out convinced the plane was going to crash, and she'd be the lone survivor"
"Yeah" Stef nodded at Lena's words "Probably"
"So much insight to my morning with her" Lena said shaking her head "Before" Her voice trailing off as Stef reached out and touched Lena's arm. "I am sorry" She said softly.
Lena shook her head and pulled herself together going to the dryer as she began to dig through it finding herself some underware and sweats "I found some of Callie's underware, but she doesn't have any pajamas in here Stef." Lena whirled around hand on her hips You said she did, but there isn't any. You told her to get dressed in here and there isn't any!"
Stef held up her hands as Lena started to panic over not having any pjs for Callie to change into. This wasn't typical for Lena to get so upset over something. "Honey it's okay" Stef assured her "I picked up a pair the other day for her, and put it into her Christmas bin" She said referring to the totes she and Lena kept. They did Christmas shopping for the kids through out the year so it wasn't overwhelming and they could give the kids a good Christmas. "You get dressed, I'll grab them" Stef said quietly as she turned opening the door only to have Mariana fall into the bathroom.
"Oh Miss Thing, what are you doing?" Stef said softly kneeling down to Mariana.
"You said we'd be together as soon as we got home! You said it! You've been gone for so long! You said we could be together mom! I want my mama's" She said frantically her hands gripping her soft yellow blanket tightly in her hands as tears fell fast and freely.
"Oh, love" Stef said wiping the tears away "We're right here, I am sorry. I didn't mean for us to scare you. I am sorry. So sorry princess!"
Lena finished throwing on her sweats and quickly got to Mariana and Stef. She too crouched down to Marian's level. Her eyes taking in the sight of her youngest daughter. It took her back to all those years ago when Mariana had first come to live with them. Big scared eyes, and her yellow blanket gripped in her hands. All that was missing now is her thumb in her mouth. It had taken Lena over a year to get her to break that habit. "Oh you've got your night night" Lena smiled to Mariana reaching out and touching the soft fabric. "I haven't seen this for awhile huh? Remember the picnics you and I used to take with that? Or how we'd curl up in my big bed and watch princess movies with night night wrapped around both of us?"
"You've been up here too long" Mariana whimpered reaching for Lena. "You left me for too long. I wanted you to come back!"
Lena knew she was referring to more than just the shower. It broke her heart to see her daughter so frightened. To see her so traumatized and most of it was her fault.
"Stef, you were getting Callie some PJ's" She reminded her wife "I am sure she's going to be getting out in a moment. I've got this one" She said pulling her daughter into her arms "I am sorry baby, I am so sorry I left you. I came back for you though. Hmmm mama came back for you right?"
Mariana gave a slight nod as her tears began to slow a little.
Stef sighed as she stood up walking out of the bathroom a minute to get Callie's new pjs and to give herself a moment. All five of her children and her wife had lived through something horrific today, her girl's front in center of it. Stef could see the mark it had left on her family and she knew she was in for a long night, forget night a long couple of weeks.
The Fosters
FB
Stef stared at her phone a moment as Lena's words penetrated into her brain "There's shooting going on, I have to go."
Stef looked up and realized the station was moving at higher pace. She could hear her coworkers now frantically saying there were reports of gun fire at Anchor Beach.
"My God' She said quickly as Mike ran to her "Stef."
"We have to go" She said quickly
"Maybe you…"
"Don't say it Mike, don't you dare tell me I should stay here! My entire family is in that building! Including our son!"
"I wasn't going to tell you, not to come" Mike said quietly as he put his hand on her back "I know that would be suicidal telling you that! I was going to say send a group text, tell your kids who have their phones with them that you them and you're coming. It'll make them feel better."
"Oh" Was all she could manage to get out "Mike…"
"I know" He nodded addressing how scared she was. "Right now let's push past what we are feeling and go save your family, just remember Stef, don't do anything hot headed. This is a time we need to listen and not jump off emotions, it's too personal."
Stef nodded as she quickly followed Mike "Let's just get my family out of there."
Arriving at the school was almost surreal for Stef seeing cops cars and the SWAT teams outside rushing around communicating with each other trying to get kids out safe. She saw a group of teens being rushed out look of terror written all over their faces.
"I wonder if someone is keeping track of kids and staff that have made it out. Some kind of controlled organization.
"I am sure" Mike said scanning the outside "The SWAT team is not going to let us do anything at this point Stef, you should go check, go see if you can find out who is out."
Stef cast a worried glance at the school knowing her kids and wife had been in there this morning. Her heart racing wondering who exactly was out.
It didn't take her long to find out that all kids were being taken to a church down the road. She decided to take a quick walk down to the end of the road to the church.
There were officers set up outside of the door making sure the kids stayed safe in their safe location. Parents were filling up the parking lot frantically wanting word about their children while three staff members obviously shaken were trying to pull it together and keep a list of the kids they were getting and giving information.
"Stef!" Stef turned when hearing her name and saw one of Lena's friends and Callie's Life Skills teacher. "Hey Beth" Stef said rushing to her quickly "Are you ok?"
She nodded pulling a clip board close to her chest. "We were in a different wing. We just heard the shots and screaming. We got the kids out of the school as quickly and quietly as we could" She shook her head and ran her fingers through her curly red hair "I just can't believe this happening. I am in shock"
"We all are" Stef shook her head "Do you know where Hailey is?" Stef asked remembering that Beth had a daughter Jude's age at the school. "She's at home with her dad today, she's sick. Thank God" Beth shook her head "Stef I can tell you Brandon, Jesus and Jude are inside the church, and they are okay" She assured her "However no one has herd from Lena, Callie or Mariana. I believe both your girls had classes in the wing that has the shooter in" She said quietly "I am sorry"
Stef's eyes grew wide and for a moment she forgot how to breathe "Her daughters were most likely in danger as was her wife."
"I am sorry" Beth said again "If I hear anything I'll let you know, but I have to get back to keeping track of kids. Hang in there" She said softly squeezing Stef's arm before she walked away.