A/N: This story has been picking up more slowly than the last... Maybe because it's a sequel? Feeling kinda lonely T-T

Thanks to sarahmichellegellarfan1, missalex3030, and loulouflowerpower for the sweet reviews! I'm glad the change in tone from the previous story is being received well. Sarahmichelle, I can always count on you for the most enthusiasm and encouragement, and it warms my heart haha. Also, I've been having problems with this story not showing up on searches too, so I'm not sure what's up with the alerts and whatnot. I sent an email to the support staff, but we'll see.

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Chapter 6: Of Where One's Future Lies

June arrived quickly with still very little movement from the Death Eaters. Despite the warm sun and energy of the city in the summer, Rowan still felt the anxiety that something bad was waiting to happen. Remus' slight withdrawal remained, though it hadn't worsened, and Rowan mused that it was possible that this was how he was going to remain for as long as they continued fighting in the war. She wondered if she would be able to withstand it.

But one thing she could be genuinely happy about was James and Lily's wedding. Sirius was James' best man, and though Lily had asked Rowan to be her Maid of Honor, she'd declined politely and said that Mina should walk down the aisle with Sirius – the thought of that much responsibility also irked her. Though Lily had looked slightly disappointed, she'd promised her friend to give a speech at the reception, which Mina was pleased with, as she hated public speaking.

The ceremony had been short and simple. Remus gave Lily away as both James and Lily's fathers had already passed, and Rowan found it quite humorous and endearing to see Remus so bashfully take on the paternal role. Julia had cried delicately as the bride and groom exchanged vows, and as they said, "I do," Rowan was filled with an overwhelming sense of satisfaction – something about the pair together simply seemed right.

The reception was located beneath a large illuminated tent in the countryside, boisterous and exciting, just as one would expect from a Marauders party. The champagne flowed freely, and Sirius made sure that everyone got up to dance at least for one song. Before the cake was cut, he gave a surprisingly appropriate and funny speech, poking jokes at mostly James' expense. Rowan then stood and gave a heartfelt toast, honestly expressing her long-felt thoughts that if anyone was meant to be together, it was James and Lily. The bride wiped away a few happy tears and hugged Rowan affectionately, and James embraced her fiercely, sharing a warm, knowing look that spoke to their lifelong friendship. Rowan felt a little ashamed at the small mourning feeling in her gut that told her that he was Lily's best friend now, not hers.

She danced several songs with Remus, then a couple with the other three Marauders and even forced Mad-Eye to join her for a slow song, which he grumbled and grunted about but humored her, much to the delight of the Order members, who all hooted and catcalled at him. Rowan hadn't felt so light in months.

Finally, her father pulled her away for a dance, and she felt slightly embarrassed but allowed him to lead her in a waltz. He looked very handsome in his dress robes, but she noted that his hair had turned quite gray through the stress of the recent months. His face had never held so many lines before - wouldn't he be turning seventy soon? They danced in silence for a while before he spoke quietly to her.

"James and Lily are quite young to be getting married," he noted.

Rowan smiled mildly and nodded. "Yeah, I thought so too, but it sort of makes sense, those two being together," she said softly, glancing at the newlyweds who were once again in their own world.

Richard nodded in response and paused for a moment before continuing. "You and the Lupin boy – are you planning on marrying him?" he asked slowly.

Rowan was taken aback by the sudden question and feared for a moment that he was going to start an argument with her in the middle of the party, but though his expression was slightly stiff, he didn't look angry at all. She relaxed and responded honestly, "I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. I suppose that'd be the most sensible and natural conclusion though."

He nodded slowly, taking in her words carefully, assessing them. "Alright," he said softly. Rowan looked at him in confusion – had he just give her his blessing to marry Remus?

"I still don't know how I feel about you being with someone with his condition but…" he trailed off for a moment and glanced at Remus, who was talking with Fabian and Gideon Prewett. "… He seems like a good man," he admitted, and Rowan beamed at her father. He smiled back at her warmly, melting at the sight of his daughter's happy expression, but then his face grew serious again. "But make sure that that's what he wants," he said solemnly. Rowan felt confused again. "Just because he loves you doesn't mean that he has any intention of committing to you completely. After all, he is a – you know," he said quietly. "I'm not saying that he's dishonorable," he rushed to clarify. "I'm just saying that he has very different circumstances to consider, and he might not see marriage in his future due to those circumstances."

Rowan felt her chest constrict. She'd never thought of it in that way and was struck by how thoroughly her father had thought it through. He was right, after all – Remus was an honorable man, but she'd never even considered how his condition might affect his views on marrying her. What if he hadn't even considered it? Would she be waiting for him forever? Should it even matter to her if he planned on marrying her officially?

Richard saw the understanding washing over his daughter's face and felt a pang of guilt at the hurt there. "I just want to make sure you're taken care of," he concluded softly, and she nodded slowly, head full and swimming with her new thoughts.

The song ended, and Rowan suddenly felt overwhelmed by the noise and number of people around her. Her father let her go with a sympathetic look but said nothing and walked off to find Carole. Rowan stood on the dance floor still and looked around her for a quiet place to hide away in for a bit. She saw a flap in the tent billowing in the summer breeze and made a beeline for it, ducking out and into the warm night air.

Remus had been watching Rowan out of the corner of his eye all evening. She looked beautiful in the rare dress and heels with her hair liquidly falling about her and quietly cherished each smile and flare of skirt that she flashed. He had even enjoyed watching her dance with their other male friends and acquaintances despite his usual jealousy. Seeing her drag Mad-Eye onto the dancefloor had actually been quite entertaining.

The past four months had been tense and cloudy. After her injury, he'd seen the dark shadows of fear in her and felt that icy chill crawl up his spine with dread. He held her late into the night even after she'd fallen asleep and memorized her face, the rhythm of her breathing. He'd come so close to losing her, and he hadn't been there to protect her like he'd sworn to himself. He went to Dumbledore and begged to be placed on more missions with her, but the Headmaster had cryptically responded with an indefinite answer, leaving him angry and fearful. The thought of her getting hurt again weighed down on him heavily, and though he tried to fight it, he felt like it might be the last time every time he touched her.

Seeing her so happy and carefree had been like a cool breeze of ocean air, but when her father had invited her to dance, he felt a strange dreading ache. He had been considerably warmer to Remus after John Potter had passed away, but he still saw the assessing looks the older man would shoot his way every so often and wondered what he really thought of him. He watched them speak quietly while they danced and admired the easy grace they shared – she truly was an aristocrat's daughter – but when he saw Rowan's face melt with concerned thoughts, he began to worry. Richard had glanced at him momentarily, and Remus had a terrible suspicion that they were talking about him. He was pleased to see that Richard's face held no malice or resentment, but Rowan's expression comforted him very little. When the older man left her on the dancefloor at the end of the song, she stood there lost in thought before looking around as if she'd forgotten where she was and then disappeared beyond the tent flaps without a sound.

He excused himself from his conversation with the Prewett brothers and made his way after her. He needed to know what had happened between her and her father.

Rowan was sitting in the grass at the top of a nearby hill with her tall shoes tossed to the side. The tent was perched at the bottom, between a couple of small grassy waves in a large field, and she hoped that her position would allow her to avoid anyone from the party. She laid back in the grass and was reminded of her old spot in the Hogwarts grounds with Remus, though she mused that they always spent their time in the sun, not the moonlight.

Marriage – it wasn't something she thought of often, and she'd never been the sort of little girl who'd imagined her dress or her groom in her private fantasies. She'd always enjoyed weddings, but for some reason, she'd never considered that one day she'd be that blushing bride. Though she had always vaguely imagined that she would get married eventually, sometimes she thought it would simply be out of obligation as a Delacroix. The idea gave her mixed feelings.

Remus had changed a lot of things in her opinions on marriage. When he said that he'd always love her, she'd just assumed that marriage was the logical conclusion, though it didn't much matter to her when they married. She was in no rush, and she knew he was hers. It all just seemed like a matter of time.

But her father had brought up very valid questions. She hadn't even thought about how his opinions of marriage might differ from hers because of his condition. Would he want to have children? She knew from her research that it wouldn't affect his ability to reproduce, but he was already so guilt-ridden with her and even if there was no evidence of it affecting children, Remus might not want to risk passing his condition on to a child. Her stomach churned with dread – how would she ever convince him that he'd make a good husband, a good father, despite his handicap?

What if he had no intention of marrying her? Would he stay with her and just never make her his wife, or would he leave her eventually to be alone? Could she handle being his woman, but not his wife? Would she grow tired of waiting and leave him? The thought of any of it made her chest tighten. She spread her limbs out around her and stared at the moon. Fuck the moon, she thought bitterly, glaring up at it.

"It's dangerous to be out here alone, you know," a calm voice said from just below her.

Rowan raised her hand slightly in greeting but didn't look up. She knew who it was, had been able to tell by his footsteps. She wasn't sure if she was pleased or disappointed that he'd followed her out of the party.

Remus sat down next to her and slipped his jacket and shoes off as well before leaning back on his hands to gaze up at the moon with her. She noted that he hadn't worn socks, and she mused to herself that her dislike of the small article of clothing was beginning to rub off on him. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while before he asked the question she knew he'd been keeping to himself.

"So what were you and your dad talking about that made you come out here?" he asked quietly.

Rowan thought quietly for a moment without answering and considered her options. Should she tell him? She knew he'd be able to tell if she fed him a lie – would she be able to brush it off and evade the question long enough for him to lose interest?

She decided, probably not. "He asked me if I was going to marry you," she finally replied honestly, plainly.

Remus looked down at her and frowned but said nothing. She didn't look at him, afraid of what she'd see there if she looked too hard. She was determined not to elaborate any further unless he continued to pry – she didn't want to think too much about it if she didn't need to, and she didn't want to fight, at least not then.

"Is that it?" he continued. She grimaced inwardly – he had to ask. She couldn't read his tone from the simple question and dreaded his reaction.

"No," she replied. She paused and considered her words before continuing. "He brought up some interesting questions I hadn't thought of, and it made me see that I'd been very inconsiderate, so I came out here to think," she said. It wasn't necessarily the full story, but she wasn't being dishonest.

Remus frowned again. "What questions?" he asked quietly. Rowan wanted to groan in frustration. Why did he have to keep prying?

"Questions about your opinions on marriage, I suppose," she responded. She figured he was going to keep asking until he got the full answers now, so there was no point in hiding them any longer. "He asked if I'd considered if you'd even wanted to get married, and I realized I hadn't thought of it that way. I should have thought to ask you. I'd just assumed that we would, but that was sort of closed-minded of me," she said calmly, though she felt anything but calm. Her head was pounding in her skull and her chest felt tight.

Remus didn't respond, and she felt her stomach drop realizing that her father's questions had hit all the right points – Remus didn't want to marry her. She blinked away the tears that stung at her eyes but she remained still, staring up at the sky. Logically, she knew it shouldn't matter as long as they were together, but something about the thought of him never committing to her fully sent a dull ache through her chest.

They remained there in silence, and Rowan hadn't felt so far from him since that hot May afternoon when he'd left her. They were just inches apart, but it felt like miles. Would she always be forced to keep her distance from him? Would he always keep her just within reach but never let her in?

Could she let him go when the time came?

The conclusiveness of the question struck her with bitterness – it just seemed like a matter of time before he decided he'd made her wait long enough and leave. She felt guilty – ashamed even – that she automatically assumed that he was just going to leave her again, permanently this time, but no matter how she rationalized it, if he wasn't going to marry her, she knew one of them would eventually have to end it.

She suddenly felt very cold, and she braced herself mentally with a shaky breath before sitting up from the grass. She reached up to comb out a few stray blades from her hair but forced herself to not look at Remus. Standing up slowly from the grass, she reached for her shoes quietly and stared around the field and up at the night sky. It was like they were the only two people awake in their little corner of the world.

"I'm going to head back to the tent," she said quietly, though she wasn't sure if it was to herself or to Remus. When he didn't respond or make a move to go with her, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before setting a direct path for the slivers of light peaking from the white tent, choking back the tears that threatened to fall and feeling like the biggest fool in all of England.

When Remus rejoined the party about fifteen minutes after Rowan, she still couldn't bring herself to look at him, and he didn't seek her out, though she felt his gaze on her.

Luckily, all of their friends seemed too drunk or caught up in the Potters' happiness to notice the sudden rift between the pair. After another hour of forced smiles, she quietly said goodbye to the bride and groom and her parents and slipped out of the tent again, heading for the edge of the protective enchantments alone. She knew it wasn't safe during such dangerous times, but somehow, it didn't seem very important to her.

Remus didn't follow.

She fell asleep surprisingly quickly and dreamlessly, and when she woke the next day, he wasn't in bed next to her for the first time in weeks. She didn't see him again until the Order meeting the following Tuesday. She wasn't sure if she felt lonely or not.