What Words Cannot Say
Magnus got out of bed shortly after Alec and, after donning one of the terracotta robes hanging in the closet, walked towards the window. The clouds and the rain from a few hours before had cleared and the morning was promising to be a sunny one. It was early, the sun had just begun to show its face above the Manhattan skyline, and the sky had that crisp tone of blue that follows a rainstorm. Except for the sound of water running in the bathroom, the suite was quiet, and Magnus suspected Jace and Kat were still sleeping in their rooms, regaining strength after their last ordeal.
He was about to head for the seating room. Alec was still squeamish about Magnus' using magic to conjure up coffee, and Magnus thought this morning he would make it the old-fashioned way, by hand, the way Alec liked it. As he turned, he saw Alec coming out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, a despairing expression on his face and a bundle of soaked clothes in his hands, water still dripping from them.
"Do you think the hotel could dry these for me?" he asked, giving Magnus a sheepish smile.
"Oh Alexander, what is the use of dating a warlock if you are not going to take advantage of his powers?" replied Magnus with a broad and mischievous smile. "I have been wanting to get my hands on your wardrobe for a long time. What would you like to wear today?" Magnus had to resist the urge to laugh when he saw the look of horror on Alec's face.
"Just my regular clothes, please," he replied, with particular emphasis on the please.
"You are not fun," Magnus teased him.
"I am sorry," said Alec and Magnus looked at him in surprise. As usual, Alec felt the compulsion to apologize for being who he was; for not liking the things that Magnus liked, for not being what he thought other people wanted him to be. Didn't Alec know that he loved him just the way he was, without vanity or ostentations? Didn't Alec know by now that his unpretentiousness was precisely what Magnus loved the most about him? Perhaps he didn't know, thought Magnus.
"Never fear; I got the perfect thing," Magnus told him and rolling up the sleeves of his robe, waved his hands and a surge of blue and purple magic lighted his fingers. The clothes on Alec's hands levitated midair for a moment as Magnus's powers dried and repaired them. The clothes that landed gently on the bed were the same clothes but dried and considerably less threadbare.
"I cannot do much about the white shirt, I am afraid" he informed Alec. "Mourning runes are powerful and interfere with magic. Besides, I don't think you should wear it anymore; it is not your color," he added. With a snap of his fingers, Magnus conjured up a brand new black t-shirt, making sure to delete the price tag; for the shirt probably cost more than Alec's whole outfit.
Magnus smiled when he saw Alec's awed expression. It was amazing, he thought, that after all these months together, his magic powers –which to Magnus were the most natural thing in the world –still amazed Alec. Part of him wished never to lose that capacity to surprise him, for the expression on his face was one of his most endearing.
"How are you feeling this morning?" Alec asked tenderly, as he took Magnus' hands in his and examined the burns around his wrists. The scars were no longer red and looked considerably fainter than they had the day before, but Magnus suspected that even with his powers replenished, the scars would take some time to go away. Alec cradled Magnus' hands in his and brought them to his lips for a gentle kiss, the gesture reminding Magnus of their night together and stirring a wave of new sensations throughout his body.
"I am fine, Alexander, almost new. Except that I think my hair is a mess, and I definitely need a new outfit," he said flirtatiously.
"I am glad to hear that," Alec whispered and taking a step closer, let go of Magnus' hands and placed his own on both sides of Magnus' face and kissed him tenderly and sensually.
The kiss awoke the butterflies in the pit of Magnus' stomach, and he rested his palms against Alec's chest, the fingers of one hand tracing the contours of the arrowhead; the fingers of the other hesitantly touching the edge of the unfamiliar angry rune. Alec deepened the kiss and Magnus opened his lips so Alec's tongue could play with his. Alec moved one of his hands to the side of Magnus' head where his hair was the shortest and the spikiest, and run his fingers through it, causing a deep sigh of contentment and desire to rise from Magnus' throat. He liked it when Alec run his fingers through his hair like that, and he suspected Alec liked it too because he always did it.
Alec gently pushed Magnus backwards until Magnus felt the edge of the bed against the back of his legs. He then gave him another gentle push and Magnus found himself laying on soft white sheets. He tried to move his hands from Alec's chest to his back, needing to close the distance between their bodies, but Alec stopped him and, interlacing his fingers with Magnus', brought Magnus' arms above his head. He then trapped Magnus' hands in one of his own, while with the other, he opened Magnus' robe to gain access to his skin. His mouth began a maddening journey from Magnus' mouth, down his neck and in the direction of the left side of his chest where Alec planted a soft and gentle kiss atop the omamori charm that was now part of Magnus' skin.
Alec had expected to feel the contours of the charm and perhaps the sensation of fabric against his lips. But all he felt was soft skin, the gentle echo of his own heartbeat, and the familiar scent of Magnus getting slightly stronger as his arousal increased. Magnus felt as if Alec's lips were touching his very heart. The spell had made the nerve endings in the spot where the charm had transformed into skin the most sensitive and every one of Alec's touches, even the gentlest, caused a wave of mystifying sensations.
Alec wondered whether the spell that made the charm part of the warlock's skin had hurt. Was it like a burn? He asked himself; or did it hurt the way the Inquisitor's rune had hurt? Remembering the look of pain in Magnus' eyes in Zürich, he shifted his gaze towards the opposite side of Magnus' chest searching for any signs of the wound he had unwittingly inflicted on Magnus. What he found was a faint ragged scar a couple of inches below Magnus' right nipple where the arrow pierced his chest. Alec planted another kiss there, an even gentler one, light as the touch of butterfly wings. He then looked up searching for Magnus' eyes and the eyes that met his were a deep chocolate brown, not a trace of the slit pupils and the yellow green eyes that he found so mysterious and beautiful. Magnus was in full control of his magic powers once again, and the glamor was firmly in place.
"I am sorry I hurt you," Alec said, his voice soft and full of regret. "And, I am sorry that you had to endure pain to protect me," he added.
Magnus gave him a questioning look. "You didn't mean to wound me," he said. "You know it was Khuno who pulled me on the path of the arrow, don't you?"
"Yes, but still, I was the one to shoot it, and I am not just talking about that wound." Alec kissed the mark of the charm once again. "I know a little about magic, and I know some spells can be very painful and costly." He then silenced any retort that Magnus might have had with a fiery kiss.
A deep sigh of pleasure rose from the center of Magnus' chest and Alec corresponded it by intensifying the kiss and closing the remaining distance between their bodies in a gesture full of promise and possibility. All thoughts of spells, magic and runes were forgotten, and for a minute, the feel and taste of Alec's lips, the scent of his skin, the echo of his racing heartbeat on Magnus' chest, and the reassuring weight of his body was all that Magnus could think of. But then the faint trace of the dark energy emanating from that rune intruded in his thoughts, as if its presence had become more discernible to Magnus now that his powers were almost fully restored. Alec was trying to distract him, he thought; he was trying to keep him occupied so Magnus would not ask about the rune on his chest, that rune that he suspected had been as painful to carve as any spell that Magnus might have cast.
"I thought you wanted coffee," he said when Alec moved his lips towards Magnus' ear. "And I think you have something to tell me."
Alec sighed and reluctantly let go of Magnus's hands and then slowly shifted position to lie alongside him on the bed. "Do you really want to know?" he asked, sadness and hesitation in his voice.
"Of course, I want to know," Magnus replied, rolling to his side to better look at Alec. "I want to know everything that concerns you, especially if whatever happened was because of me."
"Okay then, let's get dressed and get that coffee."
Half an hour later, Magnus and Alec were sitting side by side on the couch in the seating area of their room, coffees in hand. They were both fully dressed, Alec in his usual outfit, minus the Shadowhunter jacket, and Magnus in brand new black jeans, and a Mao silk shirt, the color of deep red wine. He had taken the time to conjure up some make-up, and his hair was once again in its usual hawk style even though it lacked the glitter he usually applied to its ends. Magnus looked at his fingers and thought that he should get his rings from the safe in his penthouse where he had sent them the night he left Alec. But there was no time at the moment to worry about such things.
Alec placed a hand on Magnus's cheek and smiled. "I am glad you are somewhat back to your old self. I missed this you," he said and then kissed him gently, the taste of coffee in Magnus' lips pleasant and familiar.
Magnus placed his hand on Alec's chest, atop the rune about which Alec didn't want to talk about. The angry energy of the rune was fainter but still palpable under Alec's shirt and sweater.
"What happened?" he asked softly, not wanting to push but certain that this conversation should not be delayed. "You can tell me anything."
He felt Alec's back stiffen and his face became suddenly somber. Alec hesitated for a moment, his eyes on Magnus, as if deciding what and how much to say, or whether Magnus was ready to hear it. He exhaled and his eyes shifted from Magnus towards the city skyline in the distance.
"I don't know how to begin. Some things are so hard to say that perhaps it is better not to say them at all; perhaps it is better that they remain a secret until they are forgotten…" His voice trailed off and he fell silent for a moment, his hands interlaced on his lap.
Magnus remained quiet, silently waiting, because he understood that if Alec was going to tell him what happened, he would have to do it on his own terms. He knew, perhaps, better than anyone what it was like to carry secrets and wish to forget them.
"I woke up that morning and you were not there," Alec said, his voice so sad that Magnus felt like an invisible hand was squeezing his heart. "I looked for you, but all I found was that note and this," he added, bringing one hand to the arrowhead hidden once again under his shirt. "I couldn't understand why you were gone. I don't know why but since you came into my life, I always thought that no matter what, you would always be there. I trusted you, but then, just like that, you were gone, and all I had were four words on a piece of paper."
There wasn't a trace of resentment in Alec's voice; just a deep and dark sadness, and Magnus understood, more clearly than ever before, the impact of those four words in his note. He wished he could turn back time, to a time where he could have avoided the terrible suffering he caused Alec. Alec who, despite his bravery and strength, was a gentle and sensitive soul. He placed his hand on Alec's shoulder as if wanting to give him strength to continue.
"Then the explosion happened," Alec went on, "and I got injured. I woke up in the infirmary and Inquisitor Dearborn was there drawing this rune on me," he added, shifting his hand to the left side of his chest. "It is a permutation of a memory and an agony rune. It is meant to trigger memories and inflict pain in order to rewrite them. You see, Dearborn told me that what I felt for you was because of a curse; that it was demonic magic; and that he could cure me by rewiring my memories." Alec smiled, the saddest and most miserable of smiles.
"He did what?" Magnus asked astonished, his voice barely a whisper. He could not believe what he was hearing, and the weight of Alec's words seemed to take all the air out of his lungs. How could someone do something so evil? How could someone have so much hatred that they would go to such extent to exterminate that which they despised and feared?
Alec didn't seem to hear Magnus' question; for as soon as he begun to talk, all the memories of those terrible days of pain and silence poured out of him like a torrent that had been trapped for too long. He began to tell Magnus of the days and nights spent tied to a bed; of bright lights; of countless hours without sleep or rest; of being brought back every time he sought refuge in oblivion; of the Inquisitor's stele carving, constantly carving with relentless cruelty that rune that now felt like a stone lodged in his chest. Alec spoke of the memories the Inquisitor triggered, and of the images that he planted in his mind in a futile attempt to erase the memory of Magnus' loving face. He told him of the words Dearborn kept repeating, telling him that Magnus was evil; that what he felt for Magnus was filthy, corrupt, a disease of which he needed to be cured.
He tried to speak of the pain, that pain that burned and froze his bones at the same time; that pain that cut him to shreds over and over again; that pain that repeatedly unmade him just so the Inquisitor could put him back together with the relentless tip of his stele. Alec tried to speak of that pain that obliterated everything leaving just the pain behind, but he couldn't find the words to describe the experience. For the pain had taken Alec to a place where words no longer had any meaning.
Magnus listened in complete silence, dumbfounded and frozen in place by the force of Alec' words and the haunted expression in his eyes. At times, he doubted his own ears; for what Alec was telling him was unfathomable. Yet, he knew it was true and listening to Alec, Magnus learned for the first time what it is to feel the ground under his feet disappear, leaving a bottomless abyss of guilt, misery and sorrow.
Except for a couple of times during his narrative when his voice trailed off and he went silent, Alec remained composed, his voice steady. But when he tried to describe the pain, his voice trembled and his eyes filled with tears. "I couldn't speak, Magnus, I couldn't scream, and now I don't know how to turn that silence into words. I have never felt so alone in my whole life, not even when I was a child. In my mind I called for you, I called for Jace, but neither of you came; no one come." Alec put his head in his hands and Magnus' eyes filled with bitter tears, sadness, guilt and rage mixed together.
In his long life, he had seen much cruelty among mundanes and downworlders: war, death, hatred, slavery, genocide, bigotry. He had witnessed many acts of human cruelty directed at people simply because they looked or lived differently, because they dared to walk a different path. He had seen people die alone and abandoned during the AIDS epidemic; he had witnessed the brutality inflicted because of homophobia; he had seen the violence perpetrated on people simply because they were, or they loved someone, from a different race. He had even been at the receiving end of the hateful and intolerant gaze of people who couldn't see past his ethnicity or life choices. At times, he had thought that humanity would finally overcome prejudice, but its enduring capacity for hatred and bigotry continued to surprise him as much as humanity's capacity for love and acceptance.
Magnus knew, perhaps better than anyone, that the Nephilim were, like most people, capable of terrible things. But who could ever think of such cruel torture? Who could ever see Alec as an enemy? Alec was the bravest and most loyal of Shadowhunters, committed to his work and to his people. It was his fault, Magnus thought. He had left Alec to fend for himself; he had mistakenly assumed that Alec would be safer if he left. He had been naïve, and now the knowledge of Alec's suffering was part of his punishment; part of the burden he would have to carry because of his past mistakes. Magnus wished, once again, that he could turn back time, go back to those nights walking along the streets of Prague or Tokyo with Alec, before his past caught up with him.
Magnus looked down at his hands and saw that his fingertips were glowing red as if an electric current was searching for release. He placed his hands on his lap, and closed them in tight fists to avoid setting the couch and perhaps the whole room on fire, and he concentrated in regaining control of his unruly powers. Once he thought it was safe, he put one arm around Alec's shoulders and hugged him to his body. Alec relaxed against Magnus' side, and after a minute he looked up and into Magnus' eyes, his cheeks wet. With the fingers of one hand, Magnus gently dried Alec' tears and smiled in a futile attempt to hide his own misery.
"Dearborn tried to take my memories" Alec said once again. "Not only my memories of you, but also other memories. What is worse, for a while, I doubted my own mind; I was confused and angry. Magnus, even if for a short time, I was tempted to believe that he was right; that I was sick or cursed. I became someone else, someone angry and violent."
Alec told Magnus about Jessica and about that night she came to his room. "I wanted to kill her; I imagined myself squeezing her neck until the light in her eyes went out," he said looking down at his hands, as if he didn't recognize them as his own. "I understood at that moment what Dearborn had done to me and I was disgusted."
"Alexander, you were injured and that evil man took advantage and hurt you. There is nothing you could have done. Pain is such a powerful thing; it can make us believe and do anything just make it stop," Magnus said, his voice full of compassion. Magnus understood the power of that agony rune, and knew that, once the rune was triggered, the pain was so excruciating that you would do anything to stop it. He had suffered its effects for a short time and couldn't imagine how Alec could have endured it for days on end.
"I couldn't do anything, Magnus," Alec said. "I should have resisted but I couldn't."
"You did all you could have done. Anyone else would have gone mad. Dearborn has to know that it is impossible to reprogram people; even I know that there is no magic or rune that can change who someone is. Mundanes and downworlders have tried before always with devastating consequences. Just think of the inquisition."
"But I should have resisted, and now I don't know if the rune has changed me," said Alec, his voice full of doubt and sorrow.
"Do you feel differently?" Magnus asked cautiously. He couldn't help being afraid that Alec would feel differently about him now, not because of the Inquisitor but because Alec blamed him.
"You want to know whether what the inquisitor did changed how I feel about us," Alec said, not a question, but a statement. "No, it didn't. I was angry, furious at you for leaving, for what I had to go through because of us, because of what we have. But despite everything he did to me, despite all the pain, I couldn't stop feeling that what we have is good. How can it be bad if with you I feel I am finally free to be who I am?" Alec rested his hand once again against Magnus' cheek in that familiar and loving gesture that made Magnus feel that no matter how bad things got, everything would be okay. "Being with you last night," Alec added, "I felt like I could finally reach past all those terrible memories and find the words that make sense, the words that let me express what you mean to me. Being with you is like being home, and I am not ashamed of that."
It was now Alec's fingers that wiped Magnus' tears away and his smile that comforted him. Magnus was lost for words. Alec had expressed exactly how he had felt since the very first time this young Shadowhunter walked into his life; for he too felt that with Alec he had finally found a home.
"I am sorry, Magnus," Alec said after a moment of silence. "I am sorry that when I went to see you at the cell in the Institute, I said you should be ashamed. I didn't mean to imply that you should be ashamed of who you love or who you are. I was angry and ashamed."
"You have nothing to be ashamed of; none of this is your fault," Magnus said, his voice and expression full of conviction. "If what happened is anyone's fault, besides Dearborn's, it is mine for leaving you, for trusting that your own people would protect you. Please forgive me." Magnus thought that a thousand years would pass and he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.
"Let's make a deal," Alec said, smiling weakly. "I forgive you if you forgive me."
"Deal," said Magnus. "Now tell me what to do, how to fix this terrible mess."
"You can take this rune off me," replied Alec, his voice deadly serious.
It was now Magnus' back the one to stiffen. For a moment, the sound of Edmund Herondale's horrible screams echoed through the years, and Magnus knew that he could never do what Alec was asking.
"Alexander, what you are asking is impossible. It would be like deruning you; it could kill you, or the pain could drive you mad. You just need to learn to live with it." He looked into Alec's eyes and saw there a mixture of determination and disappointment.
"No," Alec said, "I cannot live with it, I refuse to live with this on my chest," he added touching the rune once again. "It will always remind me of what happened. I don't want it. You have to take it off, for me, for us."
"Alexander, you don't know what it is like to be deruned," Magnus tried to explain again. "It is not only painful, but terribly dangerous."
Alec's eyes remained steady on Magnus' face, his expression fearless and determined, and Magnus felt that the fire on those eyes burned his skin. He knew at that moment that no matter what he said, Alec had made up his mind and his decision was unmovable.
"We can ask one of the Silent Brothers; they might be able to help," Magnus offered tentatively.
"No, no one else can know about this. You have to do it," Alec stated firmly.
"Alexander, please don't ask me to do this. First, I wouldn't know how and, second, I don't think I can bear causing you that pain."
"I need you to do it," Alec pleaded. "Please Magnus."
"Is this your way of punishing me?" Magnus asked. Removing his arm from around Alec's shoulders, he stood up and turned to face him. Magnus knew that the question was unfair. He also knew that he should be punished for the role he played in what happened to Alec, but the request felt like a dagger piercing his heart, like that arrow lodging itself once again in his chest.
"No Magnus, it isn't that," Alec replied standing up and reaching for one of Magnus' hands. "But it has to be you; nobody else can know about this."
"We can ask Catarina," Magnus offered. "She knows a lot more than me about healing."
"Please Magnus, please let me keep this last shred of dignity. I don't want anyone else to know."
"You can learn to live with the rune," Magnus said again, grasping at straws.
"Tell me something: are you going to be able to be with me, to touch me, and let me touch you the way we have done before, knowing what the rune means?" Alec knew the question was a low blow, but he had to make Magnus understand how important this was. Removing the rune wasn't something he had thought much about before, but last night with Magnus, the feeling of it on his chest had been the only dark spot in an otherwise beautiful and dazzling night. He feared that as time went on, that dark spot would become an even bigger presence, especially now that Magnus knew what it meant. Alec understood that he couldn't live with the mark of that terrible memory on his body. He knew that the memories would never go away, that forever he would remember what hatred did to him, but he couldn't bear carrying the mark of it on him.
"Alec, I can't," Magnus replied, pulling his hand from the shelter of Alec's hands. He then closed it in a tight fist at his side. He didn't call him Alexander because he didn't want his refusal to be spoken in the vocabulary they had created to express their love for one another.
"Then we are at an impasse, aren't we?" Alec stated, sadness and disappointment written on his face.
A knock on the door interrupted them and Alec went to open it. Magnus saw him walk away, his shoulders stooped as if he was carrying a heavy burden.
"Good morning guys," Jace said when Alec opened the door. "Kate wants to talk to us."
"How are you feeling Jace?" asked Alec.
"Much better, thanks to a good night sleep and Catarina's tender care," Jace replied, his usual smile on his face. He didn't seem to notice the tension in the room, or if he did, he ignored it, worried about whatever else was going on.
Alec and Magnus followed Jace to the seating room where Kat was waiting. She and Jace had ordered breakfast and she had a cup of coffee in her hand and a croissant rested on a plate in front of her on the coffee table. She was about to make a snappy comment at Magnus but thought better of it when she saw her friend's somber expression.
"What's up?" asked Alec, pouring a cup of coffee and handing it to Magnus with a warm smile. He then poured a second cup for himself. Magnus looked at him and, while he saw the sadness plainly written on his face, there was not a trace of resentment or anger in Alec's smile. Magnus suspected that their conversation was far from over.
"I got a fire message from Jeremy. He has continued searching the records, and might have found something though we don't know what it means. I think I need to go to Zürich. I have to examine the bodies from the frustrated attack. They may contain clues that could help us figure out Anneliese's next step, and I suspect that those bodies are still critical to her plan. Can you get me into the Institute?"
"That might be hard considering that I am now a fugitive of The Clave," replied Alec. "Jace, what do you think?"
"I don't know if I can be of much help either," replied Jace. "Clary told me this morning that we have all been declared persons of interest in the investigation. Dearborn and his people are looking for us. However, I know someone at the Zürich Institute that might help. Do you remember Alicia?"
"Do you think that one of your old flings will be willing to help?" asked Alec, a mixture of disbelief and humour in his voice. "Didn't she say that she never wanted to see you again?"
"But she wouldn't have to see me; she would just have to see you. Besides, you know that very few people can resist my charms."
"Let's hope Clary never hears you say that," Magnus stated, bringing his cup to his lips. "May I remind you that she has a temper and is armed?"
"Clary knows that there is no one else for me; I will send Alicia a fire message," Jace said as he walked away in the direction of his room.
"You should have something to eat Magnus," Alec said, his voice gentle, not a trace of the disappointment of a few minutes ago.
"Only if you eat too," he replied. Magnus got up and walked to the table and, after a minute, came back with a plate with two croissants slathered with butter and jam, just the way Alec liked them. He and Alec drank their coffees and ate out of the same plate in silent companionship. Looking at them sitting side by side on the couch, Kat thought that, in all the years she had known Magnus, she had never before seen him this comfortable with anyone else.
Jace came back a few minutes later and announced that Alicia would help, but that they would only have a few minutes to gather the information they needed. I was likely that Dearborn would be alerted as soon as their presence in Zürich was known.
"I should be the one to go with Kat," announced Alec. "Jace, you should stay, I don't want you in any more trouble than you already are. Magnus, you should stay too. This could be dangerous."
"Absolutely not," Jace and Magnus said at unison.
"Alexander," Magnus said lifting a hand in Jace's direction to quiet his protest. "I am not making the mistake of leaving you alone again. Remember what happened the last time I left you to try to sort this mess on my own. If we are going to succeed, we need to work together." It was more than concern for Alec's safety that prompted Magnus's decision. For some unexplained reason, he suspected that he and Alec had a better chance of stopping Annaliese together than apart. Besides, he didn't think he could stand being apart from Alec right now. "I will not let anything happened to your parabatai," he added turning to Jace. "You have my word."
"Okay then" stated Jace. "I will go to the Hotel Du Mort. I suspect that it is just a matter of time before the Inquisitor decides to go after the vampires. Should we meet here after?"
"Yes," replied Alec, standing up and heading to his and Magnus' room in search of his Shadowhunter jacket, bow and quiver. "We are going to need weapons and we don't have many left."
"Don't worry," replied Jace, "Clary and Izzy sent a few by portal this morning."
A few minutes later, Alec walked through a portal that Kat opened in the hallway, and guided her and Magnus through. He had been the only one out of the three to ever be inside the Zürich Institute, and as he stepped across the event horizon, he pictured in his mind a corner of the Institute's library where once, as a child, he and Izzy had spent a few hours reading while their parents attended a meeting.
At that moment, somewhere in the middle of the Adriatic Sea, in a heavily warded ship guarded by powerful warlocks, Annaliese bent over the dead body of Khuno Jarh, her friend of centuries, her confidant, the only one who ever truly loved her. She gently brushed aside a dreadlock and kissed the warlock's cold forehead, tears streaming down her face and falling on the beautiful face of her friend and partner. She had ordered the warlocks to bring Khuno's body from Florence because she couldn't bear thinking of him in the hands of the Nephilim; she couldn't imagine those terrible, hateful people pocking at him, conducting their experiments, trying to unlock the secrets of his magic, like they had once done with her.
"They are going to pay for this," she whispered in Khuno's ear. "I promise." Her voice was steady and determined. She was far from defeated, she thought. The Nephilim might have taken Khuno from her, but she was far from done taking from them, and was certain that by the end she would take everything.
She felt a familiar vibration in her abdomen, sign that Mother was calling for her. So, she ordered the other warlocks to leave the room. Once she was alone, she undid the buttons of her dress and exposed the ugly open wound she carried there since that night in Berlin, decades ago, when Magnus and that Shadowhunter attacked her camp. The wound was luminescent, and red matter, similar to lava swirled in it, as if Annaliese carried a volcano inside her. The wound had been an unexpected aftereffect of the explosion, a miniature rift between this world and Hades. After weeks of agonizing pain, Annaliese had discovered that she carried in her a direct line of communication to Lilith, that through the wound, she could speak to her mother.
"Mother, I am here," she whispered.
"What news do you have daughter?" came a haunting voice from the center of the wound.
"I have followed all your instructions and we are almost ready, the time is almost here," she replied, her voice reverential.
"Good, but you still must complete the task that was impeded the day those Nephilim stopped you" said the voice. "Without it, we may not succeed."
"Yes, Mother," Annaliese replied. "But can I ask for an indulgence? The Nephilim killed Khuno, can you please give him back to me?"
"Do not despair, daughter. We will all be reunited once I return to claim what is rightfully mine. In the meantime, you can take revenge on the ones who took Khuno from you." The soft tone of the voice contrasted sharply with the brutality of the words.
"Yes Mother," Annaliese responded and a smile lifted the corner of her mouth. Yes, she thought, she would have her revenge, not only for what the Nephilim had done, but also for what Magnus and that Shadowhunter boy had taken from him. The vibration in the wound subsided after a moment, indicating that Mother had cut her link to Annaliese. She closed the front of her dress and called for the warlocks waiting outside the room.
"Gather everyone, we have work to do," she ordered as she run a hand through Khuno's forehead one last time. "We have to finish what we started in Zürich.