Seth missed Dean as a roommate. Now that Dean and Renee's relationship wasn't a secret, they no longer had a need to hide. It was more convenient to share a room, although for them it wasn't much of a sharing. The times when Dean hurried into the room to be there first and shout "This is my bed!" were but a distant memory. No sneaking around, no telling his roommate to be quiet, or more typically his roommate, let's call him Seth, asking him to shut up. Now Dean could do whatever he wanted, as long as it was what Renee wanted too. And what used to be his only was now also hers. But he didn't mind it that way. It actually felt nice. There didn't seem to be any downsides; Renee wasn't bossy but tolerant, although he still watched his tongue when he was with her. He didn't want to say something inappropriate and get a chance to look for other place to spend the night. Renee never threatened this would happen but Dean was assured it could, even though it hadn't yet. And if he were to be punished for his behavior, he wasn't sure if either of his friends would take him back.
Sometimes Seth found himself wishing Dean would screw up so that Renee would force him out of their bed and he would come knocking on Seth's door in the middle of the night and they could play some games or watch a movie and have awesome time together. And they would get Roman to join too. It would be like the old times. Seth knew that he and Roman could get their share of Dean but it just wasn't the same. They were happy for him but he seemed different. And they missed the old Dean, the one that used to piss them off. He still did, but he seemed to have become more gentle and thoughtful, probably because he spent so much time with Renee. He simply found it too difficult to be different person around his girlfriend and around his buddies, so it all became blurred, the lines separating those two personalities were disappearing and because it was impossible to distinguish what he should be like at certain moment, he was becoming the person he was with Renee. At least that's how it appeared to Seth, and partly to Roman, too.
At the same time, though, it was all suspicious. When did Dean become a boyfriend material? How come he didn't suck at it? And what about all those romantic dates they were hearing about? They rejected that Dean himself would come up with all of that. He had to google it or something. Just a few months ago he was a single guy who liked it that way and who couldn't imagine himself being in a relationship. Now he bragged about how he was a better boyfriend than Seth and Roman combined. First, that was bullshit. Second, there was something fishy about Dean's par excellence behavior toward Renee. Sooner or later Dean would make a mistake, he would eventually screw up because there was no way he could be that good.
When Seth saw Renee that day he asked her what Dean really was like as a boyfriend. They usually kept hearing about this stuff from Dean and it was obvious he made up a lot of what he said. It was expected from him to lie and exaggerate. Maybe he had already screwed up, Seth thought.
"I shouldn't talk about it," Renee hesitated. Yet she wished to tell Seth. If Dean had already told him everything, what was the point of her staying quiet?
"Just tell me, what does your usual date look like? It cannot be all candles, movies, soft music, romantic atmosphere . . . Special places, thoughtful ideas . . .,"he continued naming words Dean often mentioned regarding to how he spent the evening with Renee.
"What do you expect me to say? That none of this ever happened?" she asked suspiciously.
"Yes," Seth exclaimed happily; that was exactly what he wanted to hear.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you but Dean is really good at being a boyfriend; maybe surprisingly great. Sure, it's not all romance but those little things always play an important part."
Seth shook his head. It was difficult to believe; impossible. "Well, Renee, I don't know who you're dating but it's certainly not Dean Ambrose."
"Come on, Seth." Roman appeared out of nowhere. "Give the guy a chance. Plus, I'm sure he's not that perfect anyway, is he, Renee?"
Renee smiled. He was perfect in her eyes. She was able to ignore all his flaws and mistakes he was making. But it was easy to understand why she saw him better than he actually was. "No, he's not perfect," Renee said to both Roman and Seth, but Roman quickly noticed she said it just to satisfy them. There was too much love in her eyes that blinded her and prevented her from seeing what he did wrong or how was it possible he did everything else right. She couldn't be proven wrong.
"It seems to me, Seth, that neither you are perfect," Roman turned to him. "You're not much of a gentleman right now." Then he smiled at Renee. "Let me take it," he said to her who was holding some box. It didn't seem heavy but still. Roman was there to show his good manners and point out Seth's lack of them. At the moment.
"What is it anyway?" Roman was curious. It was a regular brown carton box, closed, so that he had no idea what was inside.
"I don't know. This package came for Dean. There's no name or address on it."
"Maybe some fan mail," Seth guessed.
"Mail? More like a gift."
"Why would he receive something? I didn't get anything for my birthday."
"Neither did I," Roman admitted, but it didn't bother him as much as Seth.
"And it's not even his birthday."
"Maybe it's something he ordered," Renee said. "It doesn't have to be from someone else. But it doesn't really matter, does it?" She tried to get the box back from Roman since she realized those two were too curious and there was a chance they would open it themselves. At least Seth seemed tempted to look inside.
"There has to be a name somewhere." Roman turned it upside down to look at the bottom as well as at the sides.
"Careful," Renee finally managed to get it away from him. "It says fragile."
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Dean hasn't ordered a glass chess set."
"That's not important. I'm responsible for safely delivering this package to him," Renee said professionally.
"Or," Seth got enthusiastic, "you open it and we see what's inside."
"I can't open it. It's not mine."
"But you're his girlfriend. What's yours is his and what's his is yours, right?" Seth tried to persuade her.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Seth, but that's marriage. As Dean's girlfriend, I don't have right to open his mail behind his back." Renee wasn't even that interested in knowing what was inside as Seth. "And even if I had that permission, I wouldn't do it."
"Come on, I'm sure he wouldn't get angry at you."
"Would you be okay with your girlfriend opening your mail?" she counterattacked.
"There's no would. She does open my mail," Seth let her know.
"And you don't mind?"
"I have nothing to hide."
With Seth indirectly implying Dean could possibly hide something from Renee, Roman intervened. "Don't push her, Seth."
"Fine," he finally gave up.
Renee thanked Roman but soon she realized this wasn't over. She went to look for Dean to give him the box but she wasn't alone.
"Seriously? You're following me?"
"We wanna know," Seth replied in a sweet, innocent voice of a child.
Renee sighed. There was no way she could get rid of them. But she didn't make it her problem. When she found Dean, she handed him the package and with that Roman and mostly Seth switched their attention from her to him. Renee didn't plan to stay; she had better things to do. She wasn't that curious either. She didn't ask Dean what was inside; she was sure he would tell her eventually. Did he know what was inside? She couldn't tell.
As soon as Renee left, Dean laid it on the table. "Aren't you gonna open it?" asked Seth. Dean grabbed a bottle of energy drink and sat down. Seth stayed beside the box.
"Nope."
Roman laughed. Although he wondered what was inside the box, it was fun to watch how Seth would deal with his curiosity.
Seth was annoyed by Dean's lack of interest. "Come on," Seth begged.
"Go ahead," Dean told him, "open it." Seth was surprised by that course of action. He was happy but suspicious. "I dare you," Dean added and that made Seth step back. Could there be a bomb or something? Did Dean know who it was from and what the box contained?
They waited. Seth carefully watched Dean and tried to predict the moment Dean would finally open the box and satisfy his curiosity. But nothing seemed to imply that would happen. Dean just casually sat there, then started talking to Roman, pretending there was nothing more important to do.
Then Dean's phone, lying on the table in front of him, started to ring. Dean didn't even look up. He was reading something in the newspaper. So was Seth, but he couldn't not notice. "Your phone's ringing," Seth remarked. He tried to ignore it at first, but he couldn't focus on the article he was reading, which was supposed to distract him from never-ending waiting. And that sound was getting annoying. How could Dean pretend he didn't hear it? If he didn't want to talk to the person for whatever reason, he could just reject the call, or mute the phone if he didn't want to make it apparent that he had no interest in talking with the said person.
It took two more rings, and then there was silence again. "It's not anymore," Dean uttered. But soon after he said that sentence, it started ringing again. Dean and Seth looked at each other in utter silence.
"For Christ's sake, just pick it up," Roman finally intervened and even reached for the phone to solve the problem himself.
Dean was faster. He grabbed the phone, looked at Roman and Seth as if asking what the hell they were angry about, and finally picked it up.
For a while he listened, afterwards he said, "I thought so." He smiled. Then he fell silent again, occasionally nodded or laughed, then ended it with "I'll let you know." It wasn't a long call. And Dean said too little to make it possible for Seth or Roman to know to whom he was talking and what the conversation was about.
But now Dean approached the box. He looked at it carefully from every side and finally picked it up. Seth's inquisitiveness had risen again but all he could see was Dean's back.
"Hey, Dean," Roman called at him, which distracted him. Seth furiously looked at Roman who laughed at Seth's suffering.
"Yep?"
"How would you like playing some paintball later today?"
"Sure, that's a good idea. Oh, hey, you know what would be really cool? If we wore our ring gear." Dean's been wondering what it would be like for a while. He wished to do it someday.
"God, that would be sweet," Roman replied. "It's impossible but ahh . . . I wish we could do that."
Even Seth liked that crazy idea. "Guys, does any of you still have the mask?"
"Of course," Dean said smiling. "I always take it out for special occasions." It wasn't difficult to figure out what these occasions were.
"If we could just walk out there in our Shield gear, owning the place, that'd be great," Roman dreamed, returning to the paintball topic. "With the masks on."
"We wouldn't even need to take the guns out; everybody would surrender," Seth said.
Then Dean said, killing the atmosphere, "That would make great porn."
"Dude," Roman exclaimed. "Let's keep it clean, all right?"
Dean shrugged his shoulders.
"Anyhow, the box?" Seth reminded him of the package, which was waiting to be opened.
Dean looked at it and bit his lip. He seemed nervous. Maybe a little scared. But he finally took the knife to cut the tape. Then he put the knife aside and opened it.
The moment he looked inside Dean screamed terrified. "Fuuuck!" he exclaimed, jumping away from the "gift." Reflexively he placed his hands on his mouth, breathing heavily. He was in a shock. He couldn't believe what he just saw, but he didn't dare to double check. Seth jumped out of his seat and Roman too stopped what he was doing to see what scared Dean to death. They couldn't remember when was the last time they saw Dean react that way, if ever.
"You're all right?" Roman asked worried. Dean didn't respond. He wasn't able to speak. "Dean?" What the hell happened to him, Roman wondered.
Seth made an unsure step closer to him. "What's in the box?"
Finally Dean looked at him. It took no longer than few seconds. Then the look of panic changed into smile which was followed by bursting into laughter. Roman glanced at Seth. Did he just go crazy, they both thought. They couldn't understand what they had witnessed.
"Genius," laughed Dean, now in surprisingly euphoric mood. "Damn!"
"Seriously, what the hell, dude? You're creepy."
"No." Dean shook his head. "That," he pointed at the box, "is creepy." He sighed relieved. Although it had almost made him physically sick, he wanted to see it again. This time, though, he knew what to expect, therefore he could handle it. He kept smiling and his smile even widened when he looked inside the box one more time. "Fucking amazing. I would have never seen this coming," he spoke, probably not to his mates anymore. He picked up some piece of paper; then put it back again. "That's brilliant." With that he took his phone and turned to walk away. Before leaving the room, he addressed Roman and Seth, "Check it out. That's how you make someone shit their pants," he laughed. "Also, don't let Renee see it. That would give her a heart attack." Still laughing, he opened the door and slammed it after he went out.
"Do you volunteer?" Seth turned to Roman hoping he would have more courage to look at it. It was hard to find courage after they saw Dean's reaction; and Dean was usually okay with weird stuff. How bad it could be? Pretty bad, Seth guessed. Seth bit his lip. Roman made the first step. He took a deep breath and with his eyes closed walked toward the box at the back of the room. It was placed on a small table, and it was still open. Roman stopped just in time to avoid bumping into the table. When he opened his eyes to see the object of their interest, he shouted, "What the fuck?" He handled that look a little better than Dean; for one thing it didn't concern him. Seth came running; he would never feel ready to face his fear of looking inside the box. So he just looked, unprepared. He immediately closed his eyes. "That is sick," Roman said. Seth was speechless. Neither of them was ready to take it as a joke, as Dean did. This was just gross to them. It made no sense. Why, they asked themselves. Seth thought the person that sent this to Dean had to despise him. Why otherwise would they put a fake plastic life-size head, apparently a copy of Dean's, inside a box? It wasn't funny in the movie Se7en and it wasn't fun now. That was psycho. Seth picked up the piece of paper Dean had read and then placed it back in the box. It read "Your turn, Ambrose."