Chapter 2

A curse and a blessing

Kenji stood on the upper deck, the cold ocean breeze caressing his face. The full moon lit the water with its bleak shine. Leaning on the rail, the boy enjoyed a moment of well-deserved solitude. He liked Yahiko, but he was tired of sharing his every waken moment with him. They had left Kyoto for Osaka two days before. On the train, Kenji had remained silent, looking outside. He knew that if he had turned around to look at his travelling companion he would have found him either crying quietly or trying to hide the fact that he was crying. He hadn't been able to bear it. He didn't like to see grown men cry, obviously, but mostly, he hated the idea of his father being mourned. And so he had barely exchanged a word with Yahiko, grunting answers whenever necessary.

They had embarked on the ship at dawn the day before and would soon reach Tokyo. Yahiko had been seasick the whole time, thus giving him no time to think of Kenshin. Kenji had still spent most of his time taking care of Yahiko, against his will. The man was finally asleep, giving the boy a break, but also time to think. He didn't want to think. He was afraid of what was waiting for him at home. He didn't want to think of his dying mother. He didn't want to listen to her words. Surely, he would be the only thing on her mind. He was afraid. Afraid that her words might make him waver. He shook his head. No. His will was strong. His hate even stronger. No matter how people had loved or loved his father, he would not change his mind. They didn't know him like he did. They hadn't seen his shortcomings. He had been a strange man. Kenji believed he was slightly crazy.

How many times had he come back home after a long trip only to lock himself up in his room? How many times had Kenji found him sitting alone on the veranda, talking to himself? How many times had Kenji woken up in the middle of the night to the cries of his father fighting off demons in his dreams? How many times had he walked on his father crying alone in the courtyard at dawn? The man had been crazy, no doubt. Kenji didn't know what had made him like that and he honestly didn't care. All he knew is that he and his mother had suffered from it. All he had ever wanted was a normal family. Was this so much to ask?

Kenji sighed. He didn't get it. He wished he could just turn this ship around and go back to his hut in the woods. There, things were clear. The blade never lied. The boy shuddered, trying to forget the direct connection between his father and the Hiten Mitsurugi.

Yahiko got off the gangplank with a sigh of relief. Nevermore, he thought. He hated ships probably as much as Sanosuke had hated trains. Well, at least, he knew the ship would not take his soul away. He smiled, in spite of himself, then glanced over his shoulder to make sure Kenji was following him. The boy walked reluctantly, a sullen look on his face, but at least he was there. He had feared he would cause some trouble, hide on the ship or try to slip past him and disappear in the crowd. Yahiko sighed again. He could see only sad tidings on the horizon.

The young man walked at a steady pace, trying to see if someone had come for them. He smiled when he saw sweet Tsubame waving at him timidly. She was such a beautiful woman. His woman. Yahiko was proud of his wife and never failed to blush when she lovingly smiled at him. He soon closed the distance that separated them, Kenji in tow. He was about to take her in his arms but stopped himself, looking around with an embarrassed grin. Tsubame pretended not to see it and turned to look at Kenji.

"Okaeri, Kenji," she said in a soft voice.

"Tadaima," mumbled the boy without much conviction.

"Your mother really wants to see you, let's go."

Kenji grunted, and followed the couple. He could tell that Tsubame was worried about Yahiko. She spoke to him in a gentle voice, taking his hand in hers even though they were in public. She was a strong woman and even though Yahiko towered her, he knew that she was the pillar of the couple. She surely had been crying, too, yet her face did not betray her grief. Kenji could also see that if she could fool him, she did not Yahiko. He was obviously worried about her, too. They made a lovely couple. Kenji wished his parents could have had such a quiet and loving relationship. Yahiko wasn't out to save the world and he was entirely devoted to his wife. Nothing similar could be said about his father.

When they reached the house, Kenji was surprised to see that the place was packed with strangers, most of them a lot older than his father had been. Some government officials were also there but that was no surprise; they had been the ones sending him off on those missions. Kenji despised them. To avoid the crowd, the little group walked to the back of the property and got in though the backdoor. The boy was slightly surprised to see that nothing had changed. Everything was as it had been when he had left for Kyoto.

"Kenji, the bath is ready. Please wash and change for the funeral. The black garments should be in your room," said Tsubame.

Funeral. The boy looked at the young woman, panic stricken. They were too late! Tsubame smiled sadly.

"Your father's funeral. Your mother is still alive. She's waiting for you, hurry."

Kenji relaxed. He had to admit that now that he was so close, he could not begrudge his mother. He only wished to see her and talk to her. Without further ado, he headed for the bath, leaving the couple behind. Yahiko watched his brother walk away and then sat on the veranda, followed by his wife. This side of the house was strangely quiet. Slowly, Tsubame leaned on her husband's shoulder. Yahiko put his right arm around her and hugged her.

"How did he take the news," she asked.

"I don't know. Is "good riddance" a blessing or a curse?"

Tsubame sat up, shocked.

"He said that?"

Yahiko looked at his beautiful wife in the eyes. Although she had seen Kenji grow up and knew of his hate for Kenshin, she had always hoped that the boy would come to his senses. She was so candid.

Yahiko nodded, unable to speak. He could feel his grief rush back at him. He had cried so much for Kenshin, yet he felt like he could still cry a river. He felt ashamed. This was not a man's behaviour. Yet, he just couldn't help it. He looked away from his wife, trying to hold back his tears. Tsubame got up and standing in front of Yahiko, she embraced him. Quietly, they cried.

Kenji was all dressed up with his dark grey hakama and his black montsuki kimono. He'd foregone the haori, the heat being too intense. The kimono was adorned with his mother's crest. For some reason, his father had never wanted him to wear his. Probably because he had thought Kenji unworthy of it. The boy wished he could also have taken his mother's name instead of his fathers. He sighed and, after a long pause, walked out of his room. As he got closer to the dojo where the funeral was held, the cacophony caused by the guests got louder and louder. As he got closer, Kenji's step became slower ans slower until he came to a halt at the corner of the building, still hidden from everybody's eyes. His heart was racing. Once he walked past that corner, his father would be really dead. He would be gone forever. Kenji swallowed. He tried to convince himself that he was only nervous to see his mother. He had almost managed to do so when he heard a voice behind him.

"Kenji, is that you?"

Startled, the boy instinctively reached for his sword, which he wasn't carrying. He turned around and found himself looking into the eyes of a beautiful woman. She was a little bit older than his mother, but not by much. There was no mistaking her. She smiled at him and pushed a strand of her long silky black hair behind her right ear. She suddenly reminded him of a fox.

"Megumi oba-san" he said

The woman smiled.

"For a moment there I thought you had forgotten me! It's been a while."

Kenji managed a smile.

"You look just like your father," she added thoughtful.

The boy's smile disappeared. The woman laughed.

"I'm sorry. I forgot, I forgot. Here, don't move. I'll fix your eri."

Megumi started to fiddle with his collar. He could feel her soft fingers on his neck, and her sweet perfume. He was glad when she back away, for he had been about to break down and cry. The woman had not always been by his side, but she had always been an ally. She was the only one who hadn't constantly tried to change his feelings for his father.

"You look perfect. Are you nervous?"

Kenji nodded.

"Don't worry about your badger of a mother. You may have left with a storm, but all is quiet now."

Kenji sighed in relief. Two years before, he had parted with his mother in bad terms. Although he had never acknowledged it, he realized now that he had feared that she would reject him.

"But Kenji, be gentle with her. I won't lie to you; she doesn't have much time left. Try not to upset her, no matter what she tells you. She's still lucid but the sickness sometimes makes her mind wander. Be gentle with her. Can you do that?"

Kenji nodded with a pang of sadness.

"Let's go. Everyone is waiting for you."

Megumi put her hand on the boys shoulder and they both turned the corner.