OK, I had a question that I'd better nip in the bud: This Chris is the Chris from Total Drama Island, NOT Chris Thorndyke from Sonic X. Now that we have that settled, enjoy. Disclaimer: I have nothing.

The next day, the 14 campers woke bright and early and stumbled into the mess hall, where Chef was stirring some brown slop that looked like something you really wouldn't want to shove in your mouth.

"What is that?" Silver asked, trying in vain to identify the messy slop.

"Soup of the day," Chef replied, as the Soup of the Day roared at them and a large tentacle emerged from it.

"The soup of the day is ALIVE!" Amy screamed, and the contestants scattered, none of them wishing to taste the soup of the day.

"Good morning, Campers," Chris greeted the unhappy campers yet again. "I know you're eager for today's challenge. Today I'll need two volunteers for each team, to represent ALL of you. The winner's team gets immunity, the other on will have to go to the elimination campfire. So, who volunteers?"

There was a long silence, then Sonic heroically volunteered, as well as Tails, who was hoping for a science fair, or something Another long silence past, until the villains shoved Mephiles the Dark and Bean the Dynamite forward.

Chris held up a long piece of rope and cheerfully announced, "It's a three-legged race! First team around the island and back wins!"

Mephiles and Tails both started protesting at the same time.

"You can't tie me to him!" Mephiles said in horror, pointing to Bean.

"I just did," Chris said, having performed the said action.

"Do you know how many kilometers long this island is? Thousands. To run around the entire thing could take days," Tails said. "Especially tied to him…"

Sonic narrowed his eyes. "Kilometers? How far is that in regular people miles?"

Tails cocked his head as Chris tied him and Sonic together. "Actually, most of the world, with the exception of North America, uses the metric system."

Sonic cocked his head, much like Tails was doing. "So…what does that mean in normal people words?"

Tails sighed and decided to forget it.

"Ok, contestants," Chris said, having them stand in front of the starting line. "And…GO!"

The contestants hobbled off.

15 minutes into the competition….

"SONIC SLOW DOWN!" Tails screamed. Sonic was dragging him…literally. The hedgehog was going as fast as he could while tied to a two-tailed fox kit. That happened to be about three times faster than said fox kit could walk while tied to a super fast hedgehog. So Tails had fallen, and Sonic was dragging his poor, little body across the ground.

Sonic stopped and started bouncing in place as Tails picked himself up.

"Hurry, Tails," Sonic said, rearing to go. "They're gonna finish before us!"

"Sonic, they're behind us. They're not going to win because we stop for three seconds."

"You never know with villains," Sonic said.

Meanwhile, in a different part of the island…

"…And I don't even LIKE flamingos but my mom doesn't approve of going to the prom with my sister's cousin's roommate twice removed so I have to go with Pinky Flamingo's little sister's aunt's neice's friend's cousin, so I'm all getting the heebie jeebies and did I mention that an orangutan beat me up in fourth grade and…"

"SHUT UP OR I'LL DARK CHAOS LANCE YOU TO THE END OF DAYS!" Mephiles screamed, his left eyelid twitching wildly. "And it's orangutan, you half-baked twit!"

"Well, ex-cuuuuse me!" Bean huffed. "Sorry to bother you, your royal Scroogeness."

"That doesn't make any—"

There was a loud shrieking noise that cut him off. The two whirled as best they could since they were, you know, tied together. The result was that they toppled over and Bean landed on top of Mephiles. The Dark screamed something incomprehensible and started kicking the duck, which didn't help much, because 1. Bean had landed in such a way that he was incapable of getting up because of the rope that restrained him and 2. Being a weirdo, Bean enjoyed being kicked repeatedly upside the head.

"Get off me you pitiful excuse for a lower life form!" Mephiles screamed, finally managing to maneuver around so that he and Bean could stand up. Mephiles glared at Bean angrily. The duck quacked and started contemplating.

"You know, I once heard someone say that like, Spain gave us the Tango, and I think it was England…someone gave us the Waltz, and like, some islanders or someone else gave us the Rhumba, and we gave everyone else the Funky Chicken and the Mashed Potato."

"What does that do with ANYTHING!" Mephiles snarled.

"Well…I like the Funky Chicken and the Mashed Potato," Bean admitted, trying to do the aforementioned dances. Since he was tied to Mephiles, he only succeeded in kicking him repeatedly across the behind.

Mephiles snarled like an angry banshee and punched Bean in the face. Bean laughed like a maniac and punched Mephiles back. The two started an all-out fist fight.

Sonic and Tails were standing in front of the Island's river, wondering how they would get across.

"Water," Sonic said, sporting a bullwhip at his side and a brown fedora on his head. "Why'd it have to be water?"

Tails looked at him strangely. "Where did you get the cap?" he asked.

Sonic huffed. "It's not a cap, it's a fedora," he said, tossing the aforementioned fedora to the wind. It hit a seagull that had a six pack plastic ring wrapped around his neck. The fedora threw his wings out of sync and he fell into the river. An alligator appeared out of the water and swallowed him whole.

Sonic and Tails gawked at the water with a horrid expression on their faces.

Back at camp, the other campers were watching the action with Chris and Chef.

"Where did you get the alligator?" Eggman asked curiously.

"It was left over from last season," Chris explained. "Chef thought of it."

Chef nodded, giving a rare smile.

Eggman chuckled evilly. "You, my friends, are evil geniuses."

"You know it," Chris agreed.

Mephiles and Bean were not going to win at the rate they were going. They'd hobble forward three steps, get into a yelling argument and start beating each other up, and while they're on the ground tussling they'd roll backwards eight steps. So they needed a new plan.

They needed to cheat. The question was: How?

The duo finally stumbled into a clearing and noticed something strange about it. That strangeness might have stimulated from the fact that there was a Catholic Priest standing in the middle of it in front of a Geo Metro. (That's a car. Although debate is still out on whether it could really be called 'car' or not. Since, after all, you run the risk of breaking it whenever you change the oil.) (Note: That's the truth. I'm not making that up. Certain types of oil will break the blooming car. Stupid car.)

"Hello, my sons," the priest said, all smiles. "My name is Father Tyme, and I'm afraid I have gotten a bit lost. Would you mind telling me how to get to the Home for Starving and Neglected Orphans? I have some donations for them."

Mephiles and Bean looked at each other. Then, before Bean or Father Tyme could say or do anything to stop him, Mephiles jumped on the good priest and bound and gagged him. Although where he had gotten the rope and gag was a question for the ages. Then the Dark took every cent the priest had, stole his car keys, and hopped into his car, leaving the poor priest tied up in the middle of nowhere.

A neat thing about the Geo Metro: It's a subcompact car. 'Sub Compact' is a neat way to say that Mephiles could sit on the left-hand driver seat, and Bean could sit in the back, on the right-hand side, with their legs tied together, and not restrict each other's movements. Cool, huh? Unless, of course, you own one. Then you're crying because of the cold, hard truth I've shoved into your face.

Still not sure what being in a Geo Metro is like? Think Donkey Kong on Mario Kart. Ah, yes, you get it now.

Mephiles glanced back and saw that he was not the only one to rob the priest. Bean was happily playing with the white band that goes in the priest's collar.

"Lookie here!" Bean said happily. "Kills ticks and fleas up to eight months."

Mephiles glared at him. "You are such an idiot."

Back at the camp, the heroes and even some villains were watching Mephiles and Bean's antics in absolute horror.

"He robbed a priest!" Scourge gasped.

"That's low," growled Knuckles.

Eggman crossed himself, looking grave.

"Poor Father Tyme," Amy sniffed.

"I got to admit, I wasn't expecting him to rob a priest," Chris admitted. "But, it's ratings week, and every little bit helps."

Four minutes later, Mephiles and Bean were driving into the finish line, for surprisingly, the Neo Geo was faster than going on foot. They climbed out and Mephiles calmly turned his gaze to Chris. "We win," he said simply.

At that precise moment, Sonic and Tails stumbled into camp, both sweating and exhausted. One of Tails' tails was inside a snake, which was hanging off of him and being dragged along the ground.

Sonic was dragging a small poodle, who was chewing on his leg. And also an old lady, who was with the poodle, and was repeatedly hitting him on the head with an umbrella.

"Did we win?" Sonic asked.

"Sorry, the villains cheated," Chris explained.

Tails' eyes widened. "That's allowed?"

"Hey, they're called villains. Get over it." Chris started walking off. "See you heroes at the elimination campfire."

Mario hobbled into view with a fake leg tied to his right leg. At least, we all hope it's fake. Since, you know, there was no body to go with it.

"Hey, where'd you get the cool leg?" Bean asked for no reason in particular.

Mario looked horrified. "What-a leg? I got-a no leg-a. I GOT-A NO PROBLEM-A!"

"You will have one, fool!" Chef cried, chasing the hobbling Mario with the cool third leg and no problem-a back to the Boat of Losers, where hopefully he will stay put this time.

That night, Chris annoyingly repeated the rules about the marshmallow elimination even though everyone already knew them, and then he started calling names. "Sonic," was the first one called.

Sonic smirked and grabbed a marshmallow. "I see you guys have come to your senses."

"Shadow."

"Humph," Shadow calmly took a marshmallow and sat down with it.

"Tails."

"Yippie!" Tails gulped down his marshmallow as soon as it was in his hand.

"Amy."

"I knew you wouldn't vote me off!" the pink-furred Amy cooed as she grabbed a marshmallow.

"Knuckles."

Knuckles took a marshmallow.

"I have only one more marshmallow tonight. There are two of you left."

Espio and Silver looked at each other defiantly.

"And the last marshmallow of the night goes to…Espio. Come get your marshmallow."

Silver just sat there, stunned as Espio took the final marshmallow.

*Toilet Cam*

Silver's last POV

"Why do I get kicked off? What did I do to deserve this?"

Amy's POV

"Silver doesn't DO anything! He wastes space others could be using."

Sonic POV

"Silver smells like cheese. The yucky kind."

Father Tyme's POV

"Ah, hello, I'm afraid I've misplaced my vehicle. Does anyone know where I can find it?"

Mephiles' POV

"Why did I rob a priest? Because I can."

Bean's POV

"Wait, that was a priest? Why on earth was he wearing a flea collar?"

Back at the campfire, Silver slowly walked the Dock of Shame and numbly entered the Boat of Losers, never to return. Someone tapped him on the shoulder and he turned to see Mario, who held out a (hopefully) fake leg.

"Hey-a, buddy. Wanna buy-a leg? Only-a had-a two owners."

Silver looked at Mario strangely. "Please tell me that thing's fake."

Mario's eyes widened. "O…of course-a it's fake-a! I HAVE-A NO PROBLEM-A!" Then he turned and jumped off the boat, screaming, "You'll-a never-a get-a me!"

Silver scratched his head and picked up the leg. Thankfully, it was made out of plastic. But by the writing on the back, it looked like some hospital in Cleveland was wondering why one of their prosthetic legs were missing.

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