Love and Secrets
"If Raphael hadn't beat me to it, I would have killed that man myself," said Jace between clenched teeth. He paced back and forth in front of the window, the view of Manhattan in the distance, and of the late afternoon sky providing a striking background to the angry expression on his face. "I can't believe Dearborn did this to you. Why didn't you tell me all of it? I would have kill him before he tried to hurt you again," Jace said without waiting for Alec's reply, his eyes shining with the fury of a volcano made of gold and fire. Alec thought that Jace looked like a vengeful angel ready to unleash the wrath of god on anyone on his path.
Alec finished buttoning up his shirt, covering the rune that a minute ago he had revealed to Jace. When Jace saw the mark of what the Inquisitor did, the expression on his face had turned from concern, to shock, and finally to fury at an astonishing speed. Jace had closed his hands in tight fists as if he was readying himself for a fight, even though his opponent was already long gone. Seeing the transformation, Alec had felt a mixture of embarrassment and sadness. Not only did he dislike feeling helpless, but he also abhorred causing Jace pain. He didn't like it when Jace was angry and didn't have any place to put it. Jace didn't do frustrated anger very well; it was one of those emotions that, because of his upbringing, he had a hard time controlling. It was his job to take care of Jace, thought Alec, not to worry him. But if Jace was going to help him remove the rune, he needed to know what Dearborn had done.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" Jace asked again.
"I was embarrassed because, despite of all my training, I was helpless to defend myself," Alec replied infusing as much honesty into the words as possible. In the last few days he had come to understand that a major part of moving on, of healing, was to acknowledge that he had felt powerless and that, in part, he had thought that he deserved the punishment that Dearborn had inflicted on him. Alec's deep brown eyes shone brightly, and for a split second they looked like pools of melted amber about to overflow. Alec quickly reined in his emotions, but not before those eyes had the effect of stopping Jace's anger in its tracks.
"Why are you telling me now?" asked Jace, stopping his pacing and sitting beside Alec on the sofa.
They were back in their suite at the Grand Park Hotel, sitting in the room that Magnus and Alec shared. The sun was slowly making its way towards the horizon and as the day grew old, the quality of the light changed and became almost orange. Alec always liked the way the Manhattan skyscrapers reflected the late afternoon light; it was as if the whole city was made of rose colored diamonds.
"Because Magnus is going to remove the rune and we need your help," replied Alec, his face open and his voice steady and certain.
"Alec, that is terribly dangerous," stated Jace, a mixture or apprehension and panic in his voice. "De-runing, especially a rune that is so close to the heart can kill you."
"That is why I need your help. You are my parabatai and I need your strength to withstand the procedure."
"I can't believe Magnus would risk your life like this," said Jace, anger and disbelief replacing apprehension and panic. "Doesn't he know how dangerous it is to remove a rune like that?"
"He does, and he didn't want to do it," Alec replied. "Believe me, it wasn't easy to convince him."
"But why risk your life? The rune will fade in time. Can you not just leave it?" asked Jace.
Alec smiled because just days ago, he had had a similar conversation with Magnus, and his face had shown the same mixture of concern, panic and acceptance that he saw in Jace's face now. The two most important people in his life were willing to accept the rune and all it symbolized more easily than he was. He was lucky, he thought; lucky to have people who loved him and accepted him. That is what Dearborn had failed to understand: that the people that love you without conditions, without "despite-of's" or "no-matter-what's"; the people that not only tell you, but show you that there is nothing wrong with you; the people who don't look past or through who you are, but instead love you because of who you are; those people anchor you to life, claim you, give you home. He put a hand on Jace's shoulder and smiled broadly.
"Jace, I need to get the rune removed," he stated, his voice even and his tone rational. "As long as I have it, it can be reactivated. I will always be afraid of what people who know I bear it can do. You know now what Acquaclara did, what the Inquisitor did. Who knows who else out there knows about this mark and what it does. Also, I want to live my life free of any reminders of that kind of hatred; I want for Magnus and me to build a life together with no reminders of this dark episode. Will you help me?"
Jace felt a sudden rush of pride. Alec once again showed amazing strength and bravery, and he did it without the need for a seraph blade or in the context of battle. He thought, not for the first time, that Alec had that kind of quiet but determined bravery that made great leaders and good men, the kind of bravery that didn't need showing-off or bravado. Alec's kind of bravery was what had always allowed Jace to rush into dangerous situations, knowing full well that Alec would be behind him. Today that kind of bravery was expressed in yet another way. This was the first time that Alec openly spoke of building a life with Magnus, a life without deceit or shame.
"Is this so important to you that you are willing to risk your life?" he asked his parabatai even though he already knew the answer.
"Yes," replied Alec with certainty. "But I am sure I will be fine. I trust you and Magnus. You won't let me die." Alec patted Jace on the back in a teasing gesture. "Besides, if I die, I am coming back to haunt you. You will never be able to sleep in peace again," he added and smiled.
"Well, I cannot have that," replied Jace continuing the banter. "I don't sleep alone anymore and I don't think Clary will appreciate having you around that much, not even as a ghost."
They fell silent for a moment, and Alec looked out towards the Manhattan skyline, noticing how the lights from the buildings became brighter as the sunlight faded. It would be dark soon and this terrible day full of death and sorrow would end and become part of the many memories, good and bad, that filled his life. This war was not over, thought Alec; there was still Annaliese to deal with, but at least one more battle had been fought and, this time, they had come out of it relatively unscathed. No, the war wasn't over, but at least for tonight they had a reprieve.
"Okay then, when are we doing this?" asked Jace after a while calling Alec back to the moment at hand.
"Tomorrow," replied Alec.
"Then, I should take Clary back to the Institute soon and get a good night sleep," Jace said standing up. Before walking out of the room, he placed an affectionate hand on Alec's shoulder. "Thank you for trusting me with this secret," he said. "I won't tell anyone."
After Jace left, Alec stood up and walked towards the window. He was tired, his head still hurt, and the ringing in his ears caused by the explosion had not completely gone away. But he didn't think he could sleep yet. He was just too wired by all that had happened in the last few hours. Instead, he looked down at the mundanes going about their business several floors below. Some of them were crossing the street towards the park, their leashed dogs walking ahead or beside them, and Alec wondered what it would be like to have a dog of his own. Besides the cat that lived in the Institute, he had never had a pet, and certainly not a dog. The Nephilim tended to transfer their distrust towards werewolves onto who they thought was their closest relatives in the evolutionary chain. But perhaps he would enjoy having a dog to play with. Of course, Magnus was decisively a cat person, and he may take some convincing, but who knows. He stopped his mental meandering for a moment and realized that he was unwittingly making plans for him and Magnus, for a life together, and smiled. The thoughts were not only surprising, but also rather strange in the context of the uncertainty that surrounded them now. Yet, the mere hope that came from making plans was reassuring.
Voices coming from the sitting room brought him back to reality. He could hear Clary talking to Catarina and then Jace joining in. Until a short while ago, the suite had been a buzz of activity. Jeremy had suffered serious burns in the explosion and Magnus, Kat and Catarina had spent a good part of the afternoon treating him in one of the other bedrooms. Jace, Clary and Alec, as well as some of the other Shadowhunters, had divided their time between the sitting room outside, the Institute and the Hotel Du Mort. Izzy had refused to leave the hotel and was still there coordinating the teams that were working in the cleanup.
When he closed his eyes, Alec could still see Nadine's smiling face, her pixie red hair, and her outfit, so mundane and innocent, as she run out of the building, the bomb cradled in her arms as if it was a baby. He could only imagine how painful it must have been for the vampire girl to run out into the morning sun; how much determination she must have had to continue running towards death despite the sun burning her alive; how determined she must have been to put enough distance between herself and the building where her people lived. At the end, she had made it all the way to the middle of the parking lot before the bomb went off. Some people believed that vampires had no soul, but this morning Nadine had proven them all wrong.
Still, the force of the explosion had been strong enough to burn everything in a one-hundred-meter radius, and a couple of parked cars had caught fire and exploded. The bomb also sent fire, smoke and debris into the corridor where they had been standing. Jeremy, who had run after Nadine and was the closest to the open door, had suffered the worst injuries with burns on his face, arms and torso. The memory of the young Shadowhunter's eyes, wild with a pain that he refused to express out loud, his brave determination not to scream as they moved him, still haunted Alec.
The shockwave had knocked Alec unconscious for a few seconds, and if it hadn't been for Magnus, he would have also suffered burns. At the end, they had been lucky. Thanks to Nadine, the home of the vampires had suffered no major structural damage, except for broken windows and scorched walls. Save some burns, no other vampires had died. The Shadowhunters and the werewolves had also been spared. Thanks to the burned cars, it had been easy to hide the real cause of the explosion, and Alec suspected that the mundane news would report that a gasoline leak had caused two cars to explode in an empty lot by an abandoned old hotel.
Alec was proud of the people under his command. Scarcherry, and a few of the other Shadowhunters that Dearborn had confined to their rooms, had managed to escape and, after retaking control of the Institute, had come to their aid at the Hotel Du Mort. They had arrived just minutes after the explosion. With the help of the werewolves, they had taken Acquaclara and the remaining of Dearborn's team back to the Institute where they were now confined to the cells. The Clave would conduct an investigation at some point, but for now his orders were to keep Dearborn's people in confinement until the crisis with the warlocks was over.
Alec had spent most of the afternoon in teleconferences with the Consul, answering questions, and providing updates on their investigation. In the process, it had become obvious to Alec that the Inquisitor had been rather selective in the information he shared with his superiors. At the end, Alec had been given back his command of the Institute. Of course, The Clave was still suspicious of Magnus, but at least for now, the Consul understood that Magnus, Kat and Catarina were the best hope for stopping Annaliese Fen.
Alec wondered how long it would take for warlocks and Nephilim to trust one another. The Clave was still keeping warlocks confined in Idris and those who had refused to join Annaliese were still on the run. What would it take for all these new and old injuries to be healed? He asked himself again. Could he and Magnus ever truly be happy as long as their people didn't trust one another, or as long as his people treated Lilith's Children as inferior? Two things he was absolutely sure of, he thought as he looked towards the park across the street and the mundanes walking their dogs: there could be no healing as long as they didn't deal with Annaliese Fen, and he would not rest until his people accepted his and Magnus' relationship.
He heard laughs out in the seating room and he recognized Magnus' laugh above all the rest. He smiled because the sound of that laugh was the perfect ending for a hard and painful day. He liked that laugh because it was sincere, honest and, at times, sarcastic. Magnus always said that he was a lot to get used to, and that his tongue-in-cheek attitude was probably the hardest, but, as he got ready to go join his friends, Alec thought he couldn't imagine Magnus being Magnus without that quality.
Alec found his friends sitting in the living room, cocktails in hand, laughing at some story that Jace –who always got too happy, too fast when he drunk –was telling. Alec went to sit beside Magnus in a comfortable sofa, and Magnus handed him the drink he had in his hand. Alec took a sip, the alcohol burning a little as it passed down his throat, which was still sensitive from inhaling smoke from the explosion. He then handed the drink back, and Magnus took a sip himself. They sat together, drinking out of the same glass, which Magnus magically replenished every time it got empty, and Alec began to relax for the first time in many hours. It was as if the sofa was hugging him, enticing his back to melt into the fabric, and the alcohol warmed his body, and cheered his spirit.
Kat joined them shortly after, her face, which had been drawn and upset earlier, had a relaxed expression. When Alec asked, she told him that Jeremy was sleeping and that the burns were almost completely healed.
"He will be as good as new by tomorrow," she said, as she sat in an armchair, her legs folded under her. She then brought her glass to her lips and took a sip of her red wine. There was love in addition to concern in her voice, thought Alec, and he wondered whether Jeremy found the quiet, serious and studious warlock as fascinating and mysterious as he found Magnus.
They talked, laughed and told stories for a while longer while the sun slowly set and the city lights replaced daylight. However, eventually the conversation inevitably returned to the crisis at hand.
"How long do you think before Annaliese resurfaces?" asked Jace to no one in particular.
"I think at least three days," replied Kat. "I charted an updated star map while I was at the VLT and the next star in the constellation to appear in the night sky is not until three days for now."
"Do you know what city will be the next target?" asked Alec expectantly.
"No yet," she replied. "I still need to do some more calculations. Jeremy and I will get to it tomorrow."
"Did you hear from your contact at the Vatican about what Annaliese may have taken from the archives?" Magnus asked.
"Yes," replied Kat. "A few things were taken: manuscripts, a few artifacts, and an ancient carved stone. Monsignor Augustas will send pictures and descriptions from their records tomorrow. I may know more then."
"I would like to see them," said Magnus. There was something about the Rome attack that kept nagging at Magnus and, for some reason he couldn't quite explain, he was certain that the clue laid on what the warlocks had stolen. Alec's words rang in his mind: the solution may be in the future as well as in the past.
"What is going to happen to the vampires?" asked Clary, her hand sheltered in Jace's hands. Jace looked at her, smiled and squeezed her hand a little.
"I have no evidence, but I suspect that once we deal with Annaliese, the effect of the demonic poisoning will also go away," said Catarina.
"But in the meantime, we have to do something," said Clary, her tone urgent. "Not only are the vampires suffering, but they are also dangerous."
Alec had forgotten that Simon was also trapped in the hotel, which explained why Clary was particularly concerned about the vampires. Her best friend was one, and Clary was a fierce and loyal friend. Jace was lucky, he thought. After all that had happened to his parabatai, he had finally found someone that offered him love and loyalty, someone that, Alec was certain, would also keep him on his toes.
"Catarina and I have an idea," said Kat in her usual quiet and unassuming voice. "I found a very rare spell in an old book I brought from home. If I am deciphering it correctly, we can use the spell to put the vampires into a deep sleep until we can figure out what to do. I spoke to Raphael and he has agreed to try it. Catarina and I are going there tonight."
"Do you want me to go with you?" asked Magnus.
"It is okay, Magnus," replied Catarina. "We can handle it; besides you drained quite a bit of your energy this morning; you need your rest. You are the only one among us that knows Annaliese in any depth; we need you in top shape for that battle."
Magnus nodded, grateful for the privilege of having two of his closest friends helping him. He was usually the only warlock in the room; even when he organized parties, not many warlocks came. His people were not keened on get-togethers unless it was for mischief, but this felt normal. Sitting here among Nephilim and warlocks felt like being among family. He reached for Alec's hand but then stopped himself. Alec and him never touched more than necessary in public; Alec was reserved that way. However, noticing the halted movement, it was Alec who reached for Magnus' hand and caught it in his, the gesture natural, more natural, in fact, than Magnus would have ever imagined.
Magnus looked down at his and Alec's interlaced fingers and marveled at both the contrast and easiness with which their hands fitted together. Alec's long and slim fingers covered almost the whole back of Magnus' smaller hand, and his light skin marked only by the runes edged on his wrists and arms contrasted with the tanned complexion of Magnus' skin. Alec also wore no jewelry of any kind, except, of course, for Magnus' arrowhead that now hanged around his neck and underneath his clothes. Magnus had finally rescued all his rings from his penthouse's safe and their silvery shine adorned every finger. Yet despite, or perhaps because of these differences, their hands seemed to belong together: two faces of the same coin; two sides of a shared life; two halves of a whole.
Perhaps it was the effects of the alcohol, but Magnus forgot for a moment the struggles ahead and the dangers that still lurked around them, and instead imagined a whole long life with Alec; a whole life of interlaced destinies, of small and big shared decisions, of making coffee for one another each morning, and going to sleep in the same bed every knight. It was hopelessly romantic, he knew, but the thought of Alec in his life, of a home with him sounded like the perfect ending to a long struggle. Yes, he thought, not for the first time, this one would do, this strapping young man was the one; this hand, this body, this skin, this heart fitted perfectly.
Of course, Magnus knew he shouldn't underestimate Annaliese. Her rage was so immense that she would do all in her power to destroy everything and everybody in her path, specially Magnus. He also knew that he and Alec would have to stand in her way if they were going to stop her, and that there were no guarantees that they would succeed. It was likely that before this whole ordeal ended they would have to make even more sacrifices; Annalise had not finished taking from them yet. Magnus just hoped that Alec would not have to give up too much more.
After a few minutes, the conversation went back to trivial things and soon Catarina was telling a story of Magnus learning to tango among laud and joyful laughs. Magnus looked at Alec and was pleased to see him laugh so easily after all that had happened in the last few hours. He liked that Alec's whole face illuminated when he laughed, like the face of an angel, and he thought that his laugh fitted too, and that he wanted that laugh to be part of the soundtrack of his life.
Sensing Magnus' gaze on him, Alec turned and looked at the warlock with unexpected tenderness, and for a moment everybody else in the room seemed to disappear and it was just the two of them linked by the familiar and warm touch of their fingers and by the promise of love in their eyes. Alec squeezed Magnus' hand and then brought his lips to his ear.
"Let's go to bed," Alec murmured softly. "I want to make love to you, warlock."
Magnus blushed and the hair in the back of his neck and on his arms stood on end. Noticing the reaction, Alec smiled broadly and without letting go of Magnus' hand, stood up, enticing him to do the same.
"Magnus and I are going to bed," he announced, his voice completely casual. "It has been a long day; I suggest you too get some rest," he said to Jace and Clary. "We still have a few trying days ahead of us."
He then gently pulled Magnus out of the living room and in the direction of their bedroom, and as he followed, Magnus glanced briefly back and saw a look a pride on Jace's face and one of surprise on Catarina's.
As soon as Alec closed the door behind them, Magnus turned and, grabbing Alec by the front of his shirt, pushed him backwards, pinning him with surprising strength against the wall. As he did, Magnus claimed Alec's lips and kissed him with a passion and urgency that surprised even him. His tongue invaded Alec's mouth and explored every corner of it with determined confidence, and Magnus rejoiced in the faint taste of the alcohol they had shared that still lingered in Alec's lips. The kiss caught fire and gained in ferocity and hunger the more Magnus tasted those sweet lips, while his hands desperately held on to Alec's strong shoulders and traced paths up and down his muscular arms. Magnus wished he could melt the fabric of Alec's shirt to reveal runes on moonlight white skin, and for a moment, he had to restrain his magic so it would not escape and set Alec's clothes on fire.
Alec entangled the fingers of one hand in Magnus' hair, caressing the hair on the back of his neck, where it was shorter and prickly and so completely Magnus. With his other hand, he traced a path down Magnus' back and when he reached his behind, Alec pulled Magnus to him with all his Shadowhunter strength, closing all distance between their bodies, and creating a prison for himself between the wall and the hard and strong body of the warlock. A delicious sound of surprise and pleasure escaped from deep in Magnus' throat, a sound that Alec felt in the pit of his stomach. "Yes," Alec thought but didn't say, "yes, this is perfect."
He wished at that moment that he could melt into Magnus; that he could be absorbed into Magnus' skin until it was no longer possible to tell where one ended and the other began, until what was two became one. Alec surrendered to the playful movements of Magnus' tongue in his mouth, to the touch of Magnus' hands, allowing Magnus to light a volcano of desire in his chest and to own him completely.
A surprising urgency took over Magnus the moment he felt Alec's heartbeat pick up speed against his own chest, an uncontrollable hunger for the taste of Alec, for the feel of his skin in his fingers and lips, for the sight and feel of the Shadowhunter coming undone in his arms. He reluctantly let go of Alec's lips, but immediately found renewed pleasure in the taste of Alec's skin as he journeyed from his ear down to the hollow at the base of his long neck. Alec's skin smelled of soap, sweat and spices, and a hint of smoke still lingered in his clothes, adding to the masculine scent of Alec.
Without restrain, Magnus kissed and licked, at the same time that with the determination of a pirate looking for treasure, he searched for the bottom of Alec's shirt and lifted it. Alec gasped loudly when Magnus' hands finally made contact with his skin and began to trace circles up and down Alec's muscular chest and abdomen.
Magnus kissed and licked a path down Alec's neck and continued down until he reached his chest. With a teasing motion of his playful tongue, he drew circles along the length of Alec's sternum, right through the middle of his chest, and Alec gasped once again, the sound making Magnus forget everything outside of this room, this moment, and the delicious taste of Alec's skin.
For a brief moment, Magnus looked up at Alec, and saw that Alec was looking back at him, a delightful mixture of love, hunger and lust on those haunting brown eyes. Alec bit his lower lip in the most seductive of gestures, and Magnus experienced a moment of indecision between wanting to bite that lip himself, and wanting to continue his journey of exploration, tasting every inch of Alec. The way that Alec arched his back and tilted his head up towards the ceiling finally convinced him to do the later.
Neither Magnus, nor Alec would be able to recall exactly what happened next. Either by the use of magic or simple human dexterity, Magnus undid Alec's belt buckle, button and zipper in a blindingly fast succession of movements, and without interrupting the playful motion of his lips and tongue. Alec's breath caught when he felt Magnus's lips on the rune edged on his hipbone and thanked the angels in heaven for whomever decided to place the rune there. As the warlock continued making his way lower and lower, exploring and mapping the geography of Alec's body, Alec held on to the wall as if it was a lifeline, and tried to keep his legs from collapsing under him.
With lascivious and resolute movements of his mouth and tongue, Magnus explored and conquered every inch of Alec's most intimate corners, claiming him in the most primordial of ways. Alec grew disoriented and, for a while, forgot even his own name and history, and when a loud and uncontrollable sound of ecstasy threatened to escape his lips, he covered his mouth with his hand to avoid screaming and waking the whole suite and perhaps even the whole hotel.
At that moment, Magnus became a raging storm, a gale, a hurricane that picked up Alec and lifted him, enticing his spirit to soar, to fly higher and higher until he felt he could touch the stars. When his spirit couldn't climb any higher, it stayed suspended in midair for an infinite moment of absolute silence and stillness, a moment in which Alec felt his chest opening up to the sky, exposing his very heart to the four winds. And then, Alec let go and fell back to the earth like a fallen angel, the most amazing sensation of vertigo in the pit of his stomach. As he returned to his body, he finally lost the battle to stay on his feet and fell to his knees. Magnus' arms were waiting to enfold him and contain him as Alec surrendered to the most incredible, indescribable and unbelievable orgasm.
"Magnus, Magnus," he whispered between shallow breaths as waves of pleasure made him shake and shiver, "you are going to be my undoing."
"No more than you'll be mine," replied Magnus, his strong arms providing Alec an anchor and a port.
They stayed like that, kneeling on the floor for a while, Alec's head resting on Magnus shoulder, his face turned towards the crock of his neck, as he inhaled the familiar scent of his skin. Magnus gently run his hands through Alec' hair and up and down his back in a loving motion until Alec's heart settled somewhat and he stopped shaking.
With still uncertain legs, Alec stood up after a few moments and reached for Magnus' hand. "Come on Magnus," he whispered. "I am not done with you yet."
Magnus smiled and looked at Alec with playful eyes, and standing up, allowed Alec to guide him, completing the journey they had started in the living room and that he had briefly interrupted. Less than a second later, Alec and Magnus stood by the bed, and now it was Alec the one to claim Magnus' lips; he the one to kiss him gently and without haste; he the one to pull Magnus' jacket and shirt off and expose his beautiful body; he the one to plant kisses up and down Magnus' neck and to bite his lower lip the way Magnus had wanted to do to him before. Alec was the one to gently push Magnus down on the bed, and after pulling his own shirt off, lay beside him, both their breaths catching the moment their skins finally touched.
Magnus had been a raging storm before, a storm that took Alec to the very shores of paradise. Now, Alec was soft rain, and the gently rising tide of a clear ocean that cradled Magnus in tender waves, taking him higher and higher, until Magnus felt closer to a heaven that, until he met the Shadowhunter, he had thought was forbidden to warlocks like him.
"Come out to play warlock," Alec whispered as he looked deep into Magnus' chocolate brown eyes. "I want all of you."
With those simple words, Alec dissolved the glamor that concealed Magnus' warlock mark and beckoned the magic to freely flow within him. It was as if Alec had the power to summon the demon in Magnus; as if there was a chain that connected Alec directly to the part of Magnus he always kept hidden; or, as if his words had the power to enchant to wild being the resided inside the warlock. As the magic awoke within him, it emanated from the center of Magnus' chest and flowed in luminescent lines all over his skin as if it was searching for Alec.
Magnus heard a breath catch in Alec's chest and felt the goosebumps rising all over Alec's skin as tiny sparkles of purple magic escaped through his fingertips and left traces of color and light on Alec's skin.
"How does it feel?" Magnus murmured in Alec's ear.
"Don't you know?" asked Alec in reply.
"No, I have never shared my magic this way with anyone before," he confessed. Magnus had been with many people, some of whom had been magic-makers themselves, but no one had ever come closed enough to make it past the barriers he kept between his magic and his humanity; no one had ever had the power to bring out the magic in him.
Alec pulled back a fraction so he could look at Magnus's face and then smiled, one of those smiles capable of illuminating the darkest of nights. He then leaned in and kissed Magnus with even more passion, and Magnus felt in the familiar echo on the mark on his chest that Alec's heart skipped a beat.
"It feels…; I don't know how to describe it, like tiny shocks of electricity mixed with the soft touches of an angel's wings and the warmth of the sun on your skin after a rainy day," he said and his smile was innocent and playful. "It feels the way your touch and only your touch can feel." Alec shifted his gaze from Magnus's eyes and down to his lips in that sexy, enticing and promising way that always stirred a storm in Magnus. "It feels like magic," he added and then kissed Magnus with a tenderness born of love and gratitude. Alec understood at that moment that he was unique, that among the countless lovers that had inhabited Magnus's life, he was like no other.
Magnus felt a renewed rush of magic flowing from deep inside him, and this time he concentrated all his energy on the magic's journey as it left him and entered Alec. With determined strength and curiosity, Magnus pushed his own consciousness to travel along with the magic and became keenly aware of how his powers flowed through Alec's skin and then left through Alec's fingers in tiny silver sparkles that tickled his own skin. It was as if Magnus had invented a mysterious spell that created a circle of magic that tied Alec and him in an unbreakable and powerful knot. Alec gasped once again and Magnus' responded with a gasp of his own, as Alec's words finally made sense.
"It does feel like the touches of an angel's wings," Magnus said, his voice full of wonder.
Alec kissed him once again and they both surrendered to the sensation of making love in the most magical of ways, the energy building and growing as Alec enticed Magnus towards a powerful climax. At the very moment of his release, Magnus understood why the French called it the little death. For when he finally surrendered and his body began to tremble of its own accord, the most delicious and indescribable sensations running through him and robbing him of all will, he felt that his soul left his body and became pure energy, pure connection, pure spirit. He lifted his chest to the sky and his lungs expanded filling not with air but with the pure magic floating all around us.
As the waves of pleasure began to subside, Magnus became suddenly aware of how Alec, who until then had enticed and supported Magnus as he built towards a powerful orgasm, finally allowed himself to let go, and his whole body became a tightening muscle that for a marvelous moment squeezed Magnus extending his own ecstasy in countless aftershocks.
Feeling utterly spent, Magnus finally collapsed atop Alec and then shifted his position to lie alongside him, one arm underneath Alec's head, the other wrapped around Alec's body, their foreheads touching, their eyes closed. As their breathing slowly settled, they spoke to each other in the mysterious language of lovers, calling each other by secret names known only to them.
After a moment of silent, Magnus heard Alec take a deep and ragged breath. He opened his eyes and saw with surprise that tears streamed down Alec's face. He pulled away a fraction and looked at Alec with alarm. "What's the matter?" he asked.
"Nothing," replied Alec and he wiped the tears with his thump.
"It's not nothing; please tell me."
"I fear," said Alec, "that I don't have enough years left in me to love you the way you deserve. One day, death will take me and I will have to leave you."
Seeing the tears running down Alec's cheek and the look of sadness on those beautiful eyes, Magnus felt his own heart breaking. At the same time, he realized just how lucky he was, how fortunate to have been Alec's first love, first kiss, first companion in his journey of self-discovery. At that moment, he thanked his lucky stars for the chance to once again look upon the lovely face of this man that was half-angel; for the rescue that brought him back to Alec; for that night that in this same room and in this same bed, Alec broke through the barriers of his own anger to reach towards Magnus.
Suddenly, his stomach tightened and the weight of the secrets he was still reluctant to share, and which he feared would change the way Alec felt about him, pressed down on him. He fought against his own unruly tears that threatened to pour out of him like an uncontainable river.
"Alexander," he said as he brought his own fingers to Alec's face to dry the tears that continued falling. "As I have told you before, not even I can tell the future." He then kissed Alec's wet face, the kiss tasting salty and lovely.
Kat quietly opened the door and entered, and the first thing she did was magically extend her hearing towards the room where Jeremy rested, making sure the young Shadowhunter still slept peacefully. She dropped her bag on the floor, removed her shoes and quietly walked towards the seating room in search of a cup of tea before bed. Performing magic, especially the kind of powerful magic that she and Catarina had just performed on the vampires, always made her thirsty and crave for a good cup of tea. She wished she had time to get out her yerva mate gourd, but she was tired and needed sleep, so a simple cup of mint tea would have to do.
As she walked into the room, she noticed Magnus' unmistakable figure sitting by the window, studiously examining a book under a reading lamp. He wore a strange ensemble of red silk pajama bottoms, embroidered in a multitude of colors around the hems, and one of Alec's frayed grey t-shirts. His face had the look of concentration of a student preparing for a very important exam, and he run his finger along the lines of the book as if not wanting to miss a word or even a letter of what was written there. It was odd, Kat thought recognizing the book in Magnus' hands as his famous book of spells. It was not like Magnus to be studying with such concentration. He always showed off saying that he knew by heart every spell he had ever cast in new and old languages.
"What are you doing Mags?" he asked joining Magnus by the window and using the term of endearment he always used with Magnus when they were alone.
"Kat, I need your help," he said, his voice full of anguish. And then, without preamble, he told Kat of what the Inquisitor and Acquaclara had done to Alec. Kat listened in horror unable to understand how a people that considered themselves so enlightened and superior to everybody else could ever inflict such terrible torture on anyone, especially one of their favorite sons.
"Alec wants me to take the rune out," Magnus concluded, desperation, doubt and urgency in his voice. "And I don't think I can do it; I cannot bear causing Alec all that pain; and what would happen if I fail?" he added, wringing his hands in agitation. "I cannot fail Kat; I simply can't. It would be the end of me. You have to help me because if I don't take the rune out, Alec will never love himself completely, and he deserves more than anyone to live a life free of shame."
Listening to Magnus' anguished plea, Kat understood once and for all that this time her friend was truly in love. For a long time, Magnus had wondered whether, as an immortal, he was supposed to, or even entitled to love the way mortals do. Every so often, Magnus, like many immortals, would feel the urge to fall in love, to search for companionship, and for the sublime sense of completion that came only when linked to another soul. Sometimes, decades would go by and Magnus would not feel the urge to love. When asked, he would declare that people like him should not be tied down, that without the bonds of love, he was free to live life to the fullest. But the answer always seemed a little empty to Kat. Yet, even when he had been with partners before, Magnus had always anticipated the moment when, because of death or simple disenchantment, that love would end. Now it seemed that Magnus was loving Alec with an intensity that kept his feet firmly in the present, in every second he shared with the Shadowhunter. That was love; that and the emotions in his eyes and voice now.
"Calm down, Magnus," Kat said and stilled Magnus' hand by placing her soothing hand on top of them. "I will help you; I assisted someone in a similar procedure once. It was a long time ago, but I am sure I can do it."
"Thank you, Kat," Magnus said and took a deep relieved breath.
"Does Alec know the dangers associated with de-runing?"
"I explained them but he is adamant," Magnus said and unconsciously brought his hand to the spot atop his heart where he could feel the steady heartbeat of Alec who at that moment slept in their room.
Kat observed the gesture with keen curiosity. Since they rescued him from Annaliese, she had seen Magnus do this several times. It was a new gesture, not something Magnus did before. And then, this morning after the explosion, she thought she had seen Alec place his own hand tenderly on the same spot.
With the inherent curiosity that made her a great scientist and that once had made her a great scholar among the Inca, she extended the tentacles of her magic in the direction of Magnus' chest. She did this sometimes when trying to understand the power of a magic artefact, a spell or a relic. It was one of her most valuable skills, one that allowed her to learn the magic properties of something just by feeling it with her own powers. As she did, she perceived a mysterious energy emanating from Magnus' chest, a powerful, ancient, and unfamiliar magic that now resided within Magnus.
Before she could stop herself, she extended her own hand and touched Magnus's chest and an expression of amazement, surprise and concern rose to her face. "What did you do Mags?" she asked her friend.
"It is a protection spell," Magnus replied, not wanting to say more than what was necessary, but not wanting to lie either. In fact, he didn't completely understand the magic he had conjured up that night he melted the omamori charm into his skin. It had been a spell that needed very few words, and that he cast guided mostly by instinct.
"It is more than that," Kat stated, her voice full of wonderment. "That is unusually old and powerful magic. Not many warlocks can perform it. I have never met anyone capable of conjuring such a spell, and I didn't know you had that kind of power or knowledge."
"I didn't know either," he replied, a tone of modestly that was completely unlike Magnus.
"Does Alec know what that spell truly does and the price you paid for it?" Kat asked cautiously.
"I am not sure I know myself what it does, and, since it is already too late to undo it, the cost doesn't really matter."
"I don't know Mags, it is a big risk you took," Kat said. "But in any case, I think that this spell may come in handy when we try to remove the rune. If I am correct, the spell has created an almost unbreakable bond between you two, which means you can use it to protect Alec."
Now that she knew at least in part the kind of magic Magnus had cast on himself, small things she had witnessed in the last few days began to make sense. When Alec and Magnus were together, a faint flow of magic seemed to surround them. If Alec wasn't a Shadowhunter, Kat would have suspected that he himself was a magic being. She had even seen it during the explosion this morning when Magnus run to raise a shield to protect Alec and the rest of them from the fire. For a split second, she thought she saw a stream of colorful magic flowing between Magnus and Alec, as if they were sharing power. Whatever magic Magnus had called on when he cast the protection spell, it might have unexpected effects. However, Kat didn't say anything else to Magnus now, not wanting to add more to the list of things that were keeping him awake. Rather, she filed the information away until she could investigate some more.
"In any case," she added as she removed her hand from where it had rested atop Magnus' heart. "You have to tell Alec. You cannot keep a secret like this from him. He will find out sooner or later."
In his sleep, Alec turned on the bed and extended his arm searching for the warmth of Magnus' body. When all his hand touched was empty space where Magnus should have been, he woke up startled and disoriented. He looked around in the darkness searching for Magnus and when he didn't hear or see him, got out of bed and went in search of him. Alec knew that Magnus was anxious about the de-runing procedure, and wanted to make sure that he would not spend the remaining of the night fretting and pacing. After all, he, Alec, wasn't worried.
He stepped quietly out of the room and in direction of the living room. As he approached, he heard voices, Kat and Magnus' voices, speaking quietly, yet with an obvious tone of concern. It was the tone that made Alec decide to approach cautiously and, rather than entering the room, he stopped by the threshold and listened for a moment.
"Magnus," Kat was saying, "you have to tell Alec. You cannot keep a secret like this from him. He will find out sooner or later."
"I know," replied Magnus, "but not right now; right now, we have more urgent things to worry about."
"Magnus, listen to me," she tried to reason. "He should not have to learn about this from someone else. He would never forgive you if you don't tell him."
"It is too big a secret, Kat. And the worse part is that it is not the only one," said Magnus and Alec could see Magnus' pained expression from his hiding place.
"You cannot build a life on secrets, Magnus" Kat said.
An old and familiar feeling of insecurity creeped into Alec, a feeling that threatened to undo everything that he and Magnus had done in the last few days to rebuild their relationship. He wished he hadn't gone in search of Magnus, he wished he had stayed in bed, unaware of the existence of secrets. He turned and careful not to make any noise, headed back to the bedroom and to the shelter of his and Magnus' bed. When a few minutes later, he heard Magnus get in bed beside him and his arms wrapped around his waist, Alec pretended to be asleep.
Neither Magnus nor Alec realized at that moment how damaging secrets would prove to be in the battle ahead.